Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed.
Find a comfortable position.
Either sitting upright or lying down.
And if you haven't already.
Lightly close your eyes.
Place your palms upwards and open yourself to this moment.
Exactly as it is.
Take a deep breath in.
And slowly breathe out.
Again,
Take a deep breath in.
Breathe in slowly,
Filling your lungs completely.
Hold for just a moment.
And release,
Letting go of everything with that breath.
Keep breathing slowly and deeply,
Inhaling calm and exhaling tension.
Inhaling space,
And exhaling all of the noise.
Let your breath settle into a natural,
Gentle rhythm.
You want to share something?
What you are feeling in this moment is real.
The hurt that you feel is real.
Your confusion is real.
Your emotions are real.
And your need to be understood is real.
And it makes complete sense that you may be feeling unsettled at this time.
You may be feeling unseen,
Frustrated,
Unheard.
It's like you're standing on one side and your partner is standing on the other.
There's no alignment.
And the gulf between you feels almost impossible to cross.
This distance between you is painful and raw and I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling this.
I'd like to invite you to gently sit with something.
On the other side of this distance,
Your partner is also hurting.
Maybe not in the same way as you.
And maybe not for the same reasons.
There's still a different side.
But they are feeling it too.
Two people.
The same pain.
But different sides of it.
Deeply enough to feel the hurt.
To feel a weight of it all,
And that's what matters.
This doesn't mean that you were wrong.
It doesn't mean that your feelings don't matter.
It simply means underneath the argument.
Underneath all of it,
There are two people who care deeply enough to feel this way.
So for a moment,
I'd like to invite you to do something that might feel like a bit of a stretch.
It's not to give in,
It's not to pretend that you aren't hurting.
But it's to gently,
Just for now,
Set down that need to be right.
Because as hard as this may feel.
Being right and feeling connected are not always the same thing.
And what most of us want underneath the argument,
Underneath the hurt and the pain.
Is to feel that closeness again.
Or if instead of feeling,
The need to be understood.
You became curious about the situation.
Not forcing it.
Just a quiet and gentle curiosity about what your partner may be feeling on the other side of this.
What might they be carrying right now that you haven't quite seen yet?
This isn't about shrinking yourself.
This is about softening.
Just enough to let something shift.
And from the work that I do,
I know that when one person in a relationship chooses to let go of the ego,
Even just slightly.
And shows up with openness and curiosity,
Instead,
The other person feels it.
It might not happen straight away.
Your partner might need a little time.
But if you stay open.
Stay free from judgment.
And stay curious.
Movement will come.
You don't have to fix this today.
You don't have to have the perfect conversation.
Or find the perfect words.
You simply have to stay open.
Take a few slow,
Deep breaths now.
Feel the tension in your body begin to soften.
Feel the space around your heart become a little lighter.
And feel the weight on your shoulders slowly increase.
If you're ready to,
I'd like you to set one quiet intention before you return to the world.
Not a plan.
Not a script.
Just an intention of openness.
I am willing to listen.
I am willing to be curious.
I am willing to let connection matter more than being right.
Breathe that in.
And breathe it out.
Your intention if you're ready to accept it.
I am willing to listen.
I am willing to be curious.
I am willing to let connection matter more than being right.
And when you're ready,
Rub your hands together until you feel the warmth between your palms.
Place them gently over your eyes.
And slowly in your own time.
Open your eyes and remove your hands.
Returning to the world a little softer.
A little more open.
And ready.
When the moment is right to move towards each other once again.
