How To Deal With Jealousy

In episode 39, we tackle the swampy lands of jealousy. Wondering how to overcome jealousy? Come join the party! It's tricky because jealousy is one of those emotions that’s so uncomfortable to look at directly. For so many of us, because it feels toxic just to look at. But today we’re trying something new. What if we treat jealousy as another intelligent emotion pointing us toward something that needs our attention? What can we learn from it about ourselves and our needs? Tune in to find out.

Transcript

Thanks for joining us here on Pretty Spiritual where we're attempting the unthinkable about how to navigate this messy,

Beautiful,

Imperfect life with spiritual tools,

Principles,

And our own personal stories.

So we're not experts,

We're not religious,

We're definitely silly.

We're honest,

Real,

And willing to share.

So join us as we connect,

Bond,

And grow together.

Welcome back to Pretty Spiritual.

Hi,

I'm Ella and I'm here with my lovely friend Annie.

Hello.

And lovely friend Pony.

Yay,

We're friends.

I'm Lindsay Pony.

Aka Lindsay.

Today is going to be a special one because we're diving into a very uncomfortable topic,

Jealousy.

And I was reminded in doing episode prep for this episode how I felt prepping the self-pity episode,

Which is like gross and cringey and like,

Why do we even need to talk about this or look at it?

It's like just doing it makes me feel bad already.

We are so brave.

But here we go.

And I was remembering also in that episode that when we got past the ick factor,

We came to a place where we could appreciate self-pity as an intelligent part of our emotional life.

And I'm hoping that we can get there with jealousy,

Where we can use this uncomfortable feeling as a signpost that can hopefully lead us home to our own sense of self-worth and self-esteem and integrity.

So I'm setting some nice high expectations for us right off the bat.

We'll see what happens.

We can do it.

We can do it.

We got this.

So what is jealousy?

That's what psychology today had to say by way of a definition.

Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage,

Check,

And humiliation.

It strikes people of all ages,

Genders,

And sexual orientations and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship from a third party.

The threat may be real or imagined.

Not limited to romantic relationships,

Jealousy can also arise among siblings competing for parental attention among coworkers or in friendships.

And then they went on to list the top five reasons for feeling jealous.

And those are low self-esteem,

Check,

Duh,

Neuroticism,

Oh good,

There's that,

Feelings of insecurity and possessiveness,

Dependence on your partner if it's in a romantic relationship,

Feelings of inadequacy in your relationship,

Whatever kind of relationship that is,

And an anxious attachment style,

Which is a chronic fear that your partner will abandon you or not love you enough.

So jealousy is that icky,

I'm not enough compared to someone else feeling.

And it's one of those feelings that,

For me at least,

It's just so cringy.

And I can especially remember why after reading all those reasons,

Like low self-esteem and neuroticism and just all the good things we want to pack into our idea of ourself.

Oh look,

Here we are.

And for me,

It even feels bad to acknowledge that I'm experiencing this feeling.

And I think that's because I think I'm never supposed to feel jealousy,

Or if I am feeling it that it means I've done something wrong.

So here's what I think.

Jealousy is this really complicated feeling that's seducing us into a delusion,

That we need to be something we don't think we are if we want to be okay.

But what happens if we don't fall for the delusion?

What happens when we acknowledge jealousy and use this feeling as a signpost to look at our emotional landscape,

What we're believing about ourselves?

How can we use jealousy as something that leads us back to the middle of our lives and that actually helps us stand in integrity instead of seducing us into this downward spiral of low self-esteem and making our feelings about the way someone else is acting or not acting?

Is that even possible?

It's another tall order.

Apparently,

I'm full of those today.

But I think we're up for it.

I'm going to borrow some of Pony's regular enthusiasm and woo!

I'm just feeling so ready.

Let us see what happens when we descend into the swampy and confusing realm of jealousy.

So how about this?

We'll start by talking about a recent instance of jealousy,

And I'm especially interested to hear what we were believing about ourselves when we were listening to the stories that jealousy was telling us and what happened.

What were we believing?

How did we act and how did things turn out?

And with that,

I'll hand it over to Pony.

I was getting really inspired by that introduction.

Thank you so much.

Just the talk about delusion,

And I liked how you were saying being seduced by delusion,

And I was thinking,

Oh,

I've been living in straight delusion for a while.

That's actually,

I don't have to be seduced.

Wow,

There I am.

It's my home base.

Looking back at all of this,

The negative feelings about ourselves originate from very early experiences in our lives.

We unconsciously replay,

Recreate,

Or reenact old familiar dynamics in our current relationships.

I loved the real or imagined threats.

Talking about the delusion and these real or imagined threats,

Before when I was choosing partners,

I oftentimes would find a mate that already had a partner,

And I would say,

You're great.

Let's go ahead and leave that mate,

And then we would be together.

Let's make something real.

Seems you work for her.

You might work for me.

That's right.

What a wonderful idea.

Definitely not playing it forward of what this could look like later when inevitably they were oftentimes cheating on me,

Of course,

Naturally.

They were cheaters that I chose.

Cut to recent times,

I'm making better decisions,

Miracles.

What happened though is that I was treating my partner like my old boyfriend's.

A lot of delusion here.

Not only was I not looking to who this person was and all the ways that he's behaved,

Also side note,

Knowing he's never cheated on a girlfriend,

Which I couldn't even believe.

I'm like,

That's not true.

Liar.

More delusion,

Right?

He's a cheater and a liar.

Of course.

Yes,

Duh,

Duh.

He's not at all,

And I just can't believe it.

I'm in total delusion about that,

And I would find myself treating him like the partners that I've had before.

That was me reacting to old familiar dynamics and just continuing this story of all men are cheaters.

Men and women can't be friends.

There's sexual attraction between him and his girlfriends,

Which another thing I couldn't understand about my partner now is that he is such a quality dude and quality person that the people I,

When we would break up,

It was like upheaval.

I need to murder them.

They're horrible people who have betrayed me and hurt me so desperately.

I will set all of your possessions on fire.

They are all in the yard,

Period.

I really couldn't understand.

I understand now because I'm going to want to be friends with this person.

This is a quality person who I'm going to want in my life regardless.

It was really difficult for me when he wanted to hang out with his old girlfriends.

I was so threatened.

I was like,

He is definitely going to cheat on me.

This was very concerning for him and he would often say to me,

I don't think you know me.

I couldn't see that I was treating him from my old traumas and my past experiences that he was going to do this and essentially living in a reality that I was creating of this person is certainly going to cheat on me.

How was I feeling?

What was I believing about myself?

I'm not good enough.

All men are the same and will cheat at the first chance and this really big fear of abandonment.

Those were all of the things that I was feeling.

What would happen is I would feel like I had to go and hang out with them even when I didn't want to hang out because I need to get the beat on the street.

What's going on here?

What's happening?

Then I couldn't show up as my authentic self because the whole time I was just trying to see what was happening to fit my narrative of they definitely like each other and want to be together and they're faking that they're friends when really they have something going on behind the scenes because that's what I had done.

Yeah,

So not being able to live authentically,

Not being able to show up and then showing up for things I didn't want to show up to.

They should be able to go and hang out.

If they want to go and hang out and do whatever,

They should be able to go and do that.

Hopefully I can recognize my fear of abandonment,

My fear of I'm not good enough or they're better or recognizing the belief that before I really believed that all men cheat because that had been my experiences.

They had all cheated.

I had chosen those people.

That is what has happened to me before.

Luckily things have changed somewhat and I can't wait to talk about that.

Yay.

Thanks Pony.

Love that.

How about you Annie?

Thank you Pony for sharing that and Ella,

I really like the leading questions to break down how jealousy might look and how it makes me act and what it manifests as.

My investigating this topic,

What came up for me is not romantic jealousy but professional jealousy.

Romantically,

I get competitive.

If there's someone I know who has a crush on my wife,

I'll do my best to be extra fabulous and flirty and over the top fun around that person like I'm the best wife ever.

But it feels more like competition than jealousy.

It's like ego and all that strange stuff.

But with professional jealousy,

I get jealous and using those definitions that you identified,

It's rooted in a feeling of insecurity and low self-esteem around writing goals I haven't achieved yet and others have.

Or maybe around somebody else's grasp of writing that I've seen others and I want for myself and I don't believe I have.

They just are so eloquent and can turn a phrase so beautifully and I get jealous and I want to stop reading it or avoid any of their work or avoid mention of their name.

I'm like,

Oh my God,

That's jealousy.

In the moment,

I can identify it as jealousy but also I still get stuck in believing the story around it.

So what I'm believing is that my creative and intellectual self is not good enough,

That the women writers I look up to or women leaders in certain areas of business that I look up to and compare myself to are,

Quote,

Better because of their accomplishments.

And how that comes across in the way that I act or behave isn't anything external where I'm harming any of those people but it looks like avoidance.

So while I'm buying into this idea that I'm not good enough,

My internal actions,

I like to use that word cringy,

Ella,

Because I can feel my gut kind of clench up.

You know,

Like,

Oh,

Gosh,

That website's amazing.

And I get very avoidant.

And also,

At its worst,

It's really destabilizing and it makes me far more likely to freeze up than to get into action and work towards my goals.

What it looks like is me thinking about myself obsessively and not doing anything.

So instead of saying,

Wow,

That looks so great and look at those amazing accomplishments and I'm going to identify some ways that I can potentially work towards that.

And instead,

I just kind of shut down and freeze and think about me.

And this is getting less than it used to,

But there's still shades of gray on this behavior and this kind of funky coping mechanism,

Which is like avoid,

Shut down,

Deny.

How this is turning out is still a work in progress.

And I'll talk about it in my tools.

Yay.

Thank you so much,

Annie.

I also wanted to mention,

Just because this is coming up here,

In my internet travels,

I read.

.

.

Internet travels.

I don't know what to talk about.

I read,

People were wondering what is the difference between envy and jealousy.

And envy,

Like Annie was just sharing,

Is something that happens between two people.

And that jealousy is something that happens between two people,

Including a third party.

And I was like,

Oh,

That's interesting.

But I think to me,

What you just talked about does describe something I would think of as jealousy.

So just want to welcome all the different kinds of experience here.

Okay.

So here's my most recent experience.

My partner was going to a Christmas party with a.

.

.

For a company that he does a lot of work with and one of his ex-girlfriends works there.

So what I was believing about myself is I'm not fun since I don't drink.

And my partner is going to get bored of me because I don't drink.

It wasn't cute when I was drinking.

So these are like real delusions I'm having.

He's going to get bored of me because I'm not fun,

Because I was fun when I was drinking.

He probably wishes I did drink,

So this wouldn't be so awkward.

This whole situation wouldn't have arisen if I could just drink.

Jealousy told me,

You're not enough how you are.

So low self-esteem,

Check.

Neuroticism,

Check.

Feelings of insecurity,

Check.

Dependence on partner to feel okay about myself,

Check.

Feeling inadequacy in the relationship,

Check.

And then the only one I don't have checked is the anxious attachment style,

Which I can't take any credit for.

Just like I had secure attachment with my parents,

Which wasn't up to me.

But that's the only one that didn't get checked.

So important.

It's great.

It's a privilege that not all people have.

So what I did was I told the truth,

Which was saying it hurts my feelings that I wasn't invited.

I feel left out when you go out drinking.

It's especially hard around the holidays.

And the truth didn't go over very well.

But I got reminded that I'm not telling the truth to win a prize or be rewarded.

I'm telling it because I need to tell the truth for myself.

It's not for him.

He went out.

I was a little irritated,

But I was straightforward.

And the next day was his office party and we got in this big fight.

We almost didn't go.

And in the end we went.

And this is what I really want to get into talking about in our tools section.

I showed up for that and I practiced being,

Instead of being who I thought someone else wanted or needed me to be,

I practiced being the woman I would fall in love with.

I practiced being the person that I love being and can feel really,

Really good about being.

And I let go of trying to do something that is about someone else.

And I just focused on what would feel like the most loving and open and kind way for me to show up for this event.

And actually following that party,

I started and,

You know,

Whole experience,

I started having some really interesting awareness into this below the surface of like conscious awareness until recently thing that I do with my romantic partners,

Which is that I'm in these small ways I'm constantly pulling to be rescued emotionally.

So I'm like pulling to be rescued from my own feelings of whatever,

Low self-esteem,

Inadequacy,

Jealousy,

I'm pulling to be rescued from,

You know,

Fear or uncertainty in our relationship.

And so in these little ways,

I'm like looking for every interaction with my partner to feel really good and reassure me and reaffirm our relationship.

And if you've been in a relationship with anyone,

You know,

That's not how they necessarily work,

Especially when stuff gets hard.

It's really,

You don't get to have that takeaway every moment in a relationship.

And I find that when I'm pulling for that,

I'm actually harming myself and my partner because I'm not living in reality,

You know?

And so once I can see that there are these kind of subtle ways where my jealousy,

Low self-esteem,

Feelings of inadequacy,

Uncertainty about the relationship,

Where all of those causes that can manifest as jealousy are conspiring to take me out of my own power and my own life,

My own ability to own my feelings and experiences and take responsibility for them.

But that sounds more like tools and I'm glad it's time for those.

So thank you both for sharing your experiences.

Thanks,

Ella.

Thanks,

Guys.

Thank goodness it's time for tools.

So we're going to talk about how we can relate to jealousy as a wise indicator of something that needs our attention,

Just the same way we did with self-pity.

I think based on my own experience that this happens when we have awareness of jealousy without buying into the story that it's telling us.

So what tools help us work with jealousy in a positive way?

Pony,

All you.

Here I am.

Here you are.

I'm looking at jealousy.

What an opportunity.

Just like you were talking about Ella,

Listening to my inner critic and pulling away from my partner are really the pitfalls for me when it comes to jealousy.

The delusion of real or imagined threats and then the narrative that my inner critic is creating oftentimes is a lot worse than the actual reality that's going on here.

I just forget so much in the moment.

My in the moment tool is to calm down and to stay vulnerable and feel into the feeling of the jealousy in the moment.

So I'm going to take some deep breaths.

I'm going to accept my human emotions with compassion.

So I'm going to talk to myself inside.

I'm going to be like,

Oh,

OK,

I'm feeling jealousy right now.

He's going to go out and go have dinner.

I really don't want to go have dinner.

And so what I'll do because I trust and love my partner and I'm not so afraid that if I share this vulnerable part of myself,

Oftentimes how I kind of ease into that is I say I understand about my low self-esteem.

So I'm acknowledging that.

And I'm also saying for me to stay vulnerable and here with you,

I have to share and let you know that I want to come to dinner even though I don't want to come.

And I don't think that's going to be fun for either of us.

And what happens is that I share this vulnerable part of myself.

I'm actually reaching in closer to be with my partner instead of following spiraling into listening to my inner critic,

Believing the stories,

Believing the narratives and then kind of going off the rails into a different reality.

I'm leaning into the feelings of what's here.

And then I'm also sharing with my partner so that I can be with what's actually here.

And when I did that this last time,

He just put his hand on me and he's like,

Oh,

Babe,

I really understand from what's happened why it would be like that.

So just a lot of like really sweet understanding.

And then it helped me to acknowledge and remember my past and why I am the way that I am,

Why these feelings are even starting to come up.

And then I was relieved because I didn't have to go to dinner.

I dropped him off.

I was like,

Love you.

Bye.

Have a great time.

Because I don't need to go and hang out and watch over you like a hawk.

And what I found for me is that I love my partner so very much.

He is a wonderful gift.

I am so lucky to have him in this moment,

But it is just this moment.

He is not a prize.

He is not a trophy.

He is not a hostage.

He is not mine to hold and to validate me or make me believe some things about myself.

Oftentimes,

Before he gets out of the car or as he gets out of the car,

I really assure myself.

I feel into the feelings.

I get really,

I've been vulnerable with him.

I get vulnerable with myself.

And I say,

You know,

If it was meant,

If it was his destiny to be with someone else,

I love this person so much.

I wish him well.

I like honestly wish him well.

So that's my in real time how I do this tool.

And then later on,

Once I've recognized the jealousy,

I use that jealousy as a magnifying glass.

In what areas am I being jealous?

Wherever that jealousy is arising,

It's a point to aspect of myself that needs more love and attention from myself,

Not from my partner.

That doesn't mean I show up to my partner and be like,

Here are the areas that like it'd be really great that you tell me I'm pretty.

Fill the holes in.

Just fill them right now.

No,

It's actually,

This is the inside job that's showing me where I can show up for me that self-esteem and getting to know and trust my partner for who he is,

Not for who I believe all men to be.

And so I really have to start looking at that.

So that's my in real time.

What I do is I feel into the feelings.

I calm myself down because the emotions like they ramp up,

But then they subside a little bit.

So if I can just stay for that ride of,

Oh my God,

Here's the jealousy.

Oh my God,

It's like maximum.

Oh my God.

Then it will start to kind of calm down.

I calm myself down.

I lean into my partner and I'd be vulnerable if it feels appropriate at the time.

And then on the other side,

I use the jealousy as a magnifying glass of where I really need to put some time and attention in building self-esteem or whatever it may be in the moment.

That's so beautiful.

Thank you.

It is beautiful.

And the thing I was thinking was listening is so responsible.

Do you know what I mean?

Like you're taking so much responsibility for yourself.

It's amazing.

Yes.

So necessary.

That is inspirational.

Annie,

Will you inspire us with your tool?

I don't know if it's quite as inspiring.

Own it,

Girl.

Own it.

It is.

So it was suggested to me that an antidote to professional jealousy or envy is generosity,

Which seems weird.

So instead of that feeling of scarcity,

There's not enough accolades,

Accomplishments,

Bylines,

Success,

Whatever it is,

I can attempt to celebrate other people's successes and maybe even rejoice in their great work and beautiful words.

What would it look like in this moment to practice generosity instead of jealousy?

So when I'm reading something or I'm looking at someone's achievements and I start to feel that like I'm not good enough.

Oh my God,

I'm 41 and this is all I do or this is all I've accomplished.

Be like,

Oh,

What would it look like right now to practice generosity instead of jealousy?

One thing that I thought about is I can notice when I'm not as,

I wrote the word spiritually fit,

But I don't mean that in a way that there's like a good or bad way to be spiritual.

But sometimes I just am a little more even keeled than others.

Sometimes I'm a bit more tender than others.

So noticing when I'm in a more tender state or I'm more vulnerable or maybe my insecurities are a little higher and I can make a concerted effort during those times not to dive into other people's work lives.

And just be like,

Oh,

I'm just going to prevent this before it starts.

Another thing that I can do is I can do the footwork to move forward in my own life.

So set small goals that I can accomplish,

Which I come up with really funny stuff.

I have thoughts about this so much where I make these crazy lists either in my head or actually on pieces of paper that I scatter all over my house like a mad woman.

Sounds relaxing.

It's just so relaxing,

Just like Post-its everywhere.

And they're these goals that aren't achievable by any reasonable standards without a lot of small steps to get there.

And I don't have the capacity right now to achieve these things.

I have this book that's partially finished but nowhere near publication.

And in my head,

I need it to be receiving this kind of feedback after it's published and the cover looks like this.

And I'm like,

That's not the next step.

So coming up with reasonable steps that I can do for moving my own life forward.

And then,

For example,

I made Tuesday Pitch Day.

And so this Tuesday of this week,

I sent three pitches to new publications that I want to write for.

I'm like,

Oh,

That's something manageable that I can do every Tuesday.

And then it gives me this sense of integrity.

And then when I have that,

I am able to be more generous for other people's accomplishments and how they're living.

Because I'm like,

Oh,

I'm doing my best too.

And then at the same time,

This is like a myriad of tools.

I can practice gratitude.

We also,

Side note,

We have a great episode about gratitude if you want to check it out.

And I can come back to the reality of my life.

What a great life I have.

What a safe,

Sweet,

Loving,

Full life that I have.

And what can I notice in my life that I'm grateful for instead of wanting something of what somebody else has.

I can be of service.

And I think this is one of my big ones of when I'm in that moment of being jealous and I'm practicing generosity of like,

Wow,

So great for them.

I can flip also to service.

So my jealousy or my envy is ultimately very self-centered.

It's me worried about me determining what I need to feel good about me.

And when I get caught,

When I can get into being of service to myself and my higher power,

The point of my life isn't to get things or receive the most accolades or get the certain type of attention or to beat somebody else or have what somebody else has.

But it's rather to awaken spiritually and connect with the world around me.

So then my achievements aren't the point of me.

That all takes a lot of practice.

And I'm going to tell you right now,

I don't have it nailed,

But it's really nice to talk about it because it gives me little things that I've been doing here and there,

But haven't been doing in an organized way.

And I can think about it now in a structured way of like,

Oh,

You're feeling professional jealousy.

You're feeling professional envy.

You have steps.

So that's my tools.

Way to go,

Annie.

I find it very trustworthy that you don't have those nailed because when people are like,

I do this all the time and I do it perfectly,

I'm like,

I'm jealous.

Next.

I'm jealous.

So great.

Okay.

And I love that you talked about generosity.

It was brought to my attention recently that one of my friends was talking about the attitude she has when she does anything.

And she was talking about going into work and she's a waitress.

And she was talking about how when she goes into work that she,

And this is just kind of a attitude she tries to embody in everything she does.

She says she just looks at each moment as if it were an act of pure generosity.

So what if she wasn't getting paid and there wasn't this kind of like contractual obligation to show up and do a certain thing?

What if it was just an expression of her full cup overflowing with all the good stuff that the universe has and then she just gets to spill that onto other people because there's so much that she can't help but give it away.

That's exactly what I was thinking about.

And when we come from a place of abundance instead of an environment of lack,

Then it is a whole different feeling tone.

Totally.

So great.

Love that.

Okay.

So what if I'm not with jealousy,

The gift of not falling for the story is that I don't have to identify myself with the feelings I'm experiencing.

It's like,

What if feelings are weather systems and right now I can experience the weather system of jealousy without needing to make it about who I am?

So all of a sudden it's like,

Oh,

I'm a secure woman in general who's having an insecure moment.

That happens.

Okay.

What is so beautiful about that for me is that I'm like,

Oh,

It's not personal.

The jealousy isn't me.

It's just this intense feeling storm that's passing through and what does it have to show me about myself?

And like Pony was talking about,

When I investigate what's going on for me,

I see the places where there's low self-esteem happening.

I see how much of my emotional security I have riding on how somebody else acts or what tone they use with me or what they say.

And when I see that,

What I do is I acknowledge like,

Oh,

I really,

I'm pulling for something here.

And then I come back to my own life and in the interactions,

I notice myself doing that and I put on a cheerful tone.

And then,

So like I'm like saying bye to my partner and I'm waiting for him to be like,

I love you so,

You know,

Like whatever.

You're gonna be together forever.

I think it's,

And he's like,

Okay,

Bye.

And I'm like,

That was unsatisfying.

It didn't fill my hole.

Then I'm like,

Okay,

Bye.

And then I come back to myself and I come back to my life and I ask myself questions like this,

Who do I want to be today?

Who is the person I would fall in love with and want to date about myself?

If I'm pulling to be rescued or saved,

I ask myself,

What would require the most faith for me to do right now?

And in terms of like a romantic relationship,

It's like,

Put that down.

It would require the most faith for me to totally take my hands off of it and attend to my own life.

And so then that's what I do.

And for me,

It's almost always letting go of trying to control or manage what other people think about me or how my relationships are going and to come back to a focus on integrity and self-esteem and how to build those things for myself and my own life.

And I also want to mention that I'm going to an event in a couple days and there is a woman there who I envy.

I think whenever I see her,

I think that she kind of has the lock on what it looks like to kind of have your life together and be effortlessly beautiful and just rich and have all the things.

When I found out that this person would be at the event,

I'm like,

All of a sudden,

I'm like bristling.

And I'm like,

Wow,

That's really interesting.

And in the past,

When I've had feelings of envy like this,

What really helps me is what my brain thinks is the solution,

Which is like thinking about the other person and what they have and how they're better than me.

Like clearly that's going to get me good places.

I put down the thinking and I come back into action.

And so I look at what would it be like if I showed up and I was curious about who this person was?

What if I showed up and I just was of service?

I just got out of the way and I was like,

How can I help?

What would happen if I put down trying to come off a certain way and be a certain type of person and just trusted that the people who know me know how I am?

And if this person is meant to know me,

Then she'll know that.

And if not,

Then she'll think whatever she wants.

And it's not mine to manage anyway.

It's like I know that I'm a good person,

That I'm a safe person,

And that I care.

I care about being kind and living a good life.

And that's enough.

It doesn't have to be something that everyone else sees.

It's enough that I know that about myself.

And this is so great because I feel already relieved about seeing this person.

And it's funny because when I'm in the like,

Oh my God,

How is she better than me?

What do I need to do?

It's like I'm planning my fabulous outfit.

And how am I going to get rid of all my acne by Saturday?

I'm like,

OK,

Because that matters.

What if I just pulled away from these parts that I think I need to fix or control or manage and just be myself?

It's like,

Oh,

That's so much more relaxing.

Thank you.

And thank you again to our friend who wrote in and asked us to talk about jealousy.

I was like,

Ew,

We're never going to do that topic.

Look,

We just did it.

We did it.

Isn't it amazing how we start out and we're like,

I can't look at this.

This is so horrible.

And at the end,

I'm like,

Wow,

Oh my God,

Us talking about this.

I've learned so much and I've got so much insight on what's actually going on in here.

I'm so grateful.

Thank you.

Thank goodness.

I want to put a little note by my computer yet another.

But I think that there's so many simple tools and I write them a lot in the morning.

But I'm like,

What if I had this by my workspace where it was like jealousy and then underneath generosity with a bunch of sparkles around it?

Anyways,

I love it.

Yay.

So many tools,

So many ways to look at them.

And if you would love to send us a topic,

Something you would like us to talk about,

We love suggestions.

We're so good at taking them.

Apparently,

We really are,

Whether we like them or not.

That's right.

Quick introduction.

Do you guys remember the girl's name of who did it?

We should give her a shout out.

You're wonderful.

Shout you out.

You know who you are.

And if you'd love for us to shout you out about your topic,

Definitely put your name on there and write to us.

You can find our say hi tab at www.

Some people want to be anonymous.

That's not the website.

Let us know if you don't want to shout out.

Www.

Prettyspirit.

Com.

We have a say hi tab.

We have a tools tab.

You guys are doing so great.

There's a tools page where all the stuff we talk about,

If we reference anybody or call out a specific tool,

We link it on there.

Ella puts it up on the website.

Follow us on Instagram.

Check us out on Facebook.

We've been doing some live Instagram.

Oh,

Videos are so fun.

On the way here.

So check it out.

I know someone's jealous,

But I have tools now to deal with that.

So what should we talk about next week?

We're talking about spiritual awakenings.

What is that?

Oh,

Boy.

Can't wait.

So excited.

We love you.

Bye.

Reviews

So damn good. Most of don't talk about this. Amazing

This talk was inspiring, insightful and entertaining. Thank you ladies for this beautifully vulnerable ,experience that I really needed to hear in this moment …and beyond really. Much love and gratitude . ❤️🙌🏾🙏🏽

This offers great tools to deal with such an important topic. Thank you so much 🙌🏼

excellent talk. i loved, I am a secure woman having an insecure moment. when i’m in something like jealousy, my inner critic says, i’ve always been this way and i will always be this way. simply remembering this stuff passed is a good reminder

Super helpful!

Thank you, thankyou, thankyou that was really what I needed to listen. I have been struggling with some issues of jealousy the last 2 weeks and you just poured so much light on the topic that I feel U can now experience it from a much more enlightened place.

I didn’t think jealousy applied to me 🤣 however, my husband has occasionally flared up with this emotion. gosh I found useful tools here! And a better understanding of where that emotion originated for him.
Thanks for this topic! Keep them coming🙏🏼

Taking responsibility and using jealousy as a tool. How freaking inspirational! Yes yes yes! Spiritually fit.... trademark that! Recognizing when you’re tender! Show generosity! You’re brilliant!
Just experience the feeling, don’t make it about “who I am”. It’s not personal! Who do I want to be today? There’s nothing to prove, bc I KNOW IT! What a perspective changer! Excellent. MIND BLOWN!
What a great episode! 😘😘😘

Wow! Just wow. Yet another topic that proves life and our spiritual journey is about progress not perfection. Nice work ladies! ♥️♥️♥️

Really great topic, it's wonderful how you turn something so challenging into something positive, great tools too. Thanks ladies, love to you all 💙x

Wonderful and insightful! Thank you!