What They Don't Tell Beginner Meditators Part 2: The Prana Mama Podcast

Welcome back to part two of what they don't tell beginner meditators. In this episode I'll talk about the obstacles of having an overactive mind, feeling bored and falling asleep while meditating. I'll also answer a question posted by Insight Timer community members, @RichardHarvey.

Transcript

Hi and welcome to Prana Mama.

I'm Chantelle Daishina,

Your host for this episode and every episode.

This week we're continuing with part two of What They Don't Tell Beginner Meditators.

We will be talking about the nature of the mind and why it doesn't always cooperate when we are trying to meditate.

You know everything from being overactive to being extremely bored to just plain old falling asleep.

But first I would like to answer a question that was posted by Insight Timer community member Richard Harvey and he's referring to the first episode about breathing.

Richard writes,

Hi Chantelle,

As you know your guided meditations are some of my favorites.

With breathing I find opening my chest in a long breath quite relaxing.

Abdominal breathing less so.

It's almost like work.

In abdominal it seems to all come from the diaphragm and it is not a very deep breath.

Perhaps I'm missing something.

Actually Richard you're not missing anything.

In the beginning abdominal breathing is definitely like work.

It's awkward and clunky and it doesn't seem very effective.

That's only because chances are we're used to breathing shallow in that upper third of the lungs.

So we're chest breathing which means we aren't bringing the breath down to the bottom of the lungs like we should be.

You're not going to get that full chest expansion that you are speaking of but you can still get a deep breath.

It just will feel different in the body.

In terms of expanding your belly be aware of as you're breathing that you try to expand the abdomen as much as you can on the inhale breath.

Not just that the belly button presses out but also think of the belly expanding toward the lungs down toward the perineum out into the rib cage back into the spine.

That way you're really expanding the breath.

Another yogic breath that's helpful too is full yogic breathing or three-part breathing.

For that you inhale expand the belly so you feel the bottom of the lungs first then you continue to inhale to fill the middle of the lungs so the chest expands and then you continue to fill the top part of the lungs until you can't inhale anymore and usually the shoulders would just naturally rise and then on the exhale breath you release from the top so the shoulders relax down the middle the chest will start to collapse and then the bottom and then the belly contracts toward the spine until you can't exhale anymore and you've completely run out of breath.

I guess the best advice Richard is just to keep trying and experimenting with it.

If you find it's becoming too much of a distraction during your meditations then I would invite you to practice abdominal breathing before you go to bed when you're lying down and just do it separately from your time in meditation until you feel comfortable to integrate that into your practice.

Thank you Richard for posting your question and for always supporting my work.

On to today's episode about the overactive brain.

You know you sit down and no matter how still you physically are the brain just won't stop and it seems like the more you try to concentrate the more your thoughts just keep exploding and taking off in a thousand directions bringing your attention along with it.

In the yoga world there's a name for this and they call it the monkey mind.

Up here in Canada we don't have too many monkeys so I like to call it the puppy mind because I think more people can relate to that.

If you think of a puppy that has not been trained and as cute as it is it still has little sharp teeth and it has incredible amount of energy it gets into everything it doesn't know any better so the things that it gets into half the time aren't even good for it it'll eat everything and make itself sick.

I think you can draw a lot of comparison between an untrained puppy and the nature of the mind.

When you take into consideration how overstimulated we are like we talked about in that first episode the combination of the two makes for one busy overactive mind and this is why it can be challenging to sit down and try to meditate.

Think about the contents of your mind if you think of your house and everything in it all the stuff that's of value the stuff you probably should have gotten rid of a long time ago even the garbage it's all there and if you imagine Marie Kondo coming in and just taking everything out into a big pile because that's how she does things organized piles but piles nonetheless then that untrained puppy of yours coming and seeing all these piles and you know the first thing it's going to do it's going to go for the thing that smells the the grossest and probably tastes just as disgusting that is the nature of our mind especially when we're under stress so we tend to take our attention to the parts of the mind that hold the most negative thoughts and that's why there's a tendency for us to start to think negative thoughts when we're under stress but even when we aren't if we aren't used to focusing our minds then we really aren't the mercy of those thoughts if you think of taking your untrained puppy to a nice big open field that has no fence and then you unclip your puppy from its leash and you let that puppy go when you try to call it back I don't think you're going to have much success because that puppy needs some some training needs to go to puppy school and essentially that's what we're doing when we sit down to meditate is we're taking a very overactive mind and we are giving it so much space but because it isn't trained it just takes off in every other direction and our job in those beginning stages is to not reward our puppy for bad behavior let's talk about how we reward that undesirable behavior so first is just simply giving up saying that meditation doesn't work for me it's not for me and quitting then that untrained mind of yours wins and nothing improves another way is cutting your meditation practice short because it's either out of frustration because you can't calm the mind down or you're thinking of all the things you need to do this day and there's just no way you can sit you don't have time for it again that untrained puppy of yours wins see it through sit down and see your practice through even if you feel you don't have the time and if you engage with your thoughts especially emotionally charged thoughts or any unfinished business where you play the scenarios out in your mind's eye and you have these imaginary conversations going on and you can feel your emotions becoming more and more engaged as well then again you are rewarding poor behavior and the whole practice is to notice when this is happening and this is the tricky part because some people get frustrated because they couldn't calm the mind down yet they said they noticed when the attention was wandering off and would bring their attention back to their focal point but they had to do that their whole practice and I say you are practicing your meditation and you were successful if you are noticing that is the practice that is the leash that will bring your awareness your puppy mind back to where it needs to be and to put you in the position of authority when you notice and you bring your attention back that's that's what you're supposed to do and in the early days that's pretty much what your practice will consist of and even when you continue to practice for many years you will have days where that's what your practice is but there's just an understanding and a knowing that that's still adding value and it's still creating positive changes in your personality which ultimately that's what your meditation practice should be doing anyway and it's not just challenging in terms of mental activity and thoughts just racing and not able to focus but it's also challenging in the opposite end of the spectrum by feeling bored when you're sitting there and you're thinking oh my goodness this time is just dragging on how long do I have to sit here again that is a result of being overstimulated when you are so used to being on the go and doing things and being busy and then you sit your nervous system your body your attention still wants to go and you've brought that to a complete halt of course it's going to feel boring these are behaviors that will make it challenging and make it seem like meditation isn't for you and the exact opposite is true meditation is for everyone and lastly your brain isn't overactive it's not bored but it's so relaxed that you fall asleep I have a confession that used to happen to me all the time when I first started meditating and I like to meditate sitting with my legs in a cross-legged position and so I would I would literally rock from side to side as my head would jerk and I would catch myself from falling so I feel your pain if you are one of those people that tends to not off during your meditation please listen to this though it's not all bad when you sit and again if you're so busy like majority of us are chances are you're also exhausted so in that moment the body automatically goes into rest mode and it wants to sleep what your body is telling you is you need more sleep and it's not that sleeping is a bad thing it's just the timing of it so continue to catch yourself and sit up but don't get up I can reassure you that providing you give yourself enough rest at night eventually you will stop falling asleep during your practice so I can honestly say that I no longer sleep during my meditation practice I do find though if I try to practice right before I go to bed then I'm more likely to not off so I have to start practicing a little bit earlier and I do highly discouraged if you're a morning practitioner to try having a cup of coffee before you meditate so I don't know you do the math on that one okay that is it for this episode thank you so much for listening and for those of you that offered your feedback on that first episode thank you so much I just love the fact that you engaged and you enjoyed that first episode and I hope you found value in this one as well again if you have any feedback comments or personal stories on how you overcome these obstacles in your practice I would love to hear from you until next time stay close to your peace namaste

Reviews

Good information on obstacles to meditation. Thanks so much.

Excellent guidance. Helped my breathing and anchored me. Thanks so much!

Thank you very much, Chantelle (what a beautiful name BTW 😊) for your kind words and advice when beggining meditation. It really does help me going back into it!

I needed this so badly today! Thank you!

Wow! I listened to both part 1 & part 2. Excellent explanations of many different aspects of mind, body, emotional physiologic interactions. I am a career sleep specialist. Great intro for beginners. My over active mind continues. But continuing with the meditations, I am more peaceful. I let the frustration go and don’t beat myself up for failing like I used to. I am grateful for your knowledge.

So helpful. Thank you Chantelle! 💖

Thank you so much for this. I will think of the puppy mind from now on and try to be more gentle with myself.

You addressed all my issues and those of my clients. I’ll share this with others. Thank you.

Thank you so much, I be not taken it seriously I mean medication even though I have been doing yoga since I was about 22 years old, however I have had a disease of the nervous system and brain for 14 years due to a car accident, so I am trying to take it more seriously as I believe it will help me with pain. I do pray a lot and have felt inspired toTake meditation more seriously and when I do it it does help but I appreciate the words you’ve just said very much regarding the mind being a tree of chattering monkeys.

The step-by-step on abdomenal breathing was very helpful. I’ve got to think about that holding off on coffee!🤔☕️

Chantelle is one of the best teachers around.

Thank you such. This really helpful, especially the puppy mind. I can relate to this. I can be forgiving and gentle.
I missed your first session will go and do this as well.
Thanks
Chris

Thank you so much - again. What a relief to hear my challenges ( busy mind, boredom, sleepiness) are normal. I think I'm relieved. Oh and then there is the patience thing.. just kidding, I am motivated. The puppy is a really good visual and adds some lightness and joy to this early stage of my developing practice. 🌱

Full of good reminders, even if you are more experienced at meditating. One to listen to again. Thank you 🙏🏻

Great information. Good to know. Thank you. 🙏

Thank you so much! This was really helpful. I love calling it “puppy mind” instead of “monkey mind”. For me, that makes it more hopeful and realistic that training is possible. I feel like I understand the goal better now. Thank you for sharing this! 💖

I loved this talk! Although I have been practising for some years I try to retain a ‘beginner’s mind’ so it was helpful to hear all of this & I will be listening to the others. Namaste. 🌞