How To Heal From Bullying

If you've been bullied or treated unkindly, this track is meant to help you release the pain and truly heal yourself from the bullying. I hope that the exercises I share with you can truly help you to heal from the bullies and bullying in your life. This can help you whether you were bullied in your childhood or in your adult life.

This track contains explicit language.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Noah Elkrief,

And today I want to talk to you about how to deal with being bullied.

So recently in my sessions,

I've had a bunch of people,

A bunch of,

You know,

30,

40 year olds,

50 year olds,

Talking to me about the impact of being bullied.

Or in other words,

We're dealing with their insecurities,

Their unworthiness,

Trying to prove themselves in their careers and get success.

And in the exploration of discovering why they feel that way,

We've discovered bullying in their childhood.

So what I've noticed is there's so many of us that were bullied in different forms.

Maybe you're being bullied now in high school,

Middle school,

Or college,

And maybe you were bullied 30 years ago,

40 years ago,

50 years ago,

And you're still feeling the ramifications of that.

So I'm here today to hopefully provide some lightness,

Some support,

Some undoing,

Some releasing of the heaviness and pain that comes from being bullied.

I was bullied in many different ways,

Even though I wasn't like,

You know,

Sometimes when we see on TV,

There's like the,

What's,

You know,

Called like the nerd,

The one that's like,

You know,

Not good at sports and,

And,

You know,

Is good with computers or whatever is like considered the nerd and then is picked on.

But that's all one manifestation of being bullied.

There's so many manifestations of being bullied.

So,

So I played sports,

But,

And I had friends who played sports and actually where I grew up in New York,

And I've talked to so many clients who are like this in different places in the world,

Your friends are your competitors.

And so everyone's just putting each other down,

Insulting each other,

Treating each other like shit,

Trying to make themselves feel better than the next person.

And,

And we're getting bullied by our own friends.

Many of us are bullied by our own parents,

You know,

We're,

We're treated like crap by our own parents.

They don't realize they're treating us like crap,

But they're constantly intimidating us.

So if we don't do what they want us to do,

They yell at us,

They,

They maybe insult us,

They intimidate us,

Bully us into doing what they want us to do.

And then of course,

Obviously,

Then there's older kids,

Right?

So I was physically abused,

Abused many times by older kids,

Um,

And,

Uh,

Yeah,

It was quite painful.

I didn't realize that at the time I was too busy trying to be tough and cool,

But it was very painful and it impacted me moving forward in my life.

So yeah,

So it can come up in many forms.

So maybe when you first hear about bullying,

You think,

Oh,

I wasn't bullied,

But,

But it shows up in so many different manifestations.

So I'm going to guide you right into it rather than just speak intellectually.

I want to guide you into,

To dealing with it.

So I want you to close your eyes and I want you to go there,

Go to a painful moment in your life when you were being bullied in whatever way,

By whatever person.

And I want you to imagine them in front of you.

And if that's too painful,

You can imagine them like,

Instead of directly in front of you can imagine them a hundred feet away,

20 feet away,

Whatever,

20 meters away.

And,

And when you're looking at them,

I want you to see what feeling comes up in you.

Maybe it's anger,

Maybe it's sadness,

Maybe it's feeling weak and fragile.

Maybe it's feeling small.

Maybe it's feeling hurt.

I want you to become aware of your body,

Specifically become aware of your chest,

Your stomach,

Your solar plexus area,

Your throat,

Or maybe even your eyes.

Become aware of your body response.

Bring your awareness to your body of what feelings coming up.

And I want you to invite that feeling to grow.

Instead of running away from it like normal,

Maybe we run away from our pain,

Our hurt,

Our feeling of smallness.

Instead in this moment,

I want you to invite that feeling to grow,

To get bigger.

Tell that feeling,

I don't want to run away from you anymore.

I don't want to bury you anymore.

I don't want to push you down anymore.

I invite you to get as big as you want to,

As big as you need to.

Maybe it's intense,

Maybe it's unenjoyable,

But just allow it to come up.

Maybe it wants to scream.

And you can visualize yourself screaming at that person.

You can visualize yourself screaming at the stars.

Visualize yourself just going nuts.

Maybe you feel so sad and so hurt that you want to just curl up in a ball and cry.

Let yourself ball.

Let yourself cry.

Maybe you just feel pressure in your chest.

Let it grow.

Maybe visualize your chest just exploding.

Maybe visualize your chest opening and just releasing this pain.

Don't push it down anymore.

Don't try to make it smaller.

I know it's painful.

I know it's shitty.

But as long as you're avoiding this pain,

You keep it stuck in your body.

Keep breathing.

Keep taking deep breaths.

Keep breathing.

Now,

You can pause the video and take as much time as you need on this.

And then I'm going to go on to the next thing when you're ready.

You can pause this video if you want.

Now,

I want you to look at this person in front of you.

And you can visualize it from the first person perspective.

Or if it's too intense,

Visualize it from the third person perspective.

So you're looking at you and this bully in front of you.

And imagine them treating you with this disrespect.

With this harshness.

With this meanness.

With their insults.

With their whatever they're doing.

And I want you to imagine it as though when they're speaking to you in this way.

That it's sort of this energy is coming out of them.

Like visualize it.

Maybe black.

Maybe red.

Like an energy is coming out of them that's like you're worthless.

You're not good enough.

Your feelings don't matter.

And it's sort of visualize it.

It's like you're absorbing it.

You're absorbing this energy of I'm worthless.

I'm not good enough.

My feelings don't matter.

So now we want to reverse that process.

So visualize it going back to them.

Visualize this energy of I'm worthless or you're worthless.

I'm small.

I'm no good.

I'm defective.

I deserve to be treated like shit.

My feelings don't matter.

Visualize it just going back to the perpetrator.

Visualize this energy,

This smoke,

This cloud,

This rock leaving your system and going back to the bully.

Back to the perpetrator.

You don't need to carry it anymore.

Visualize it going back.

Maybe it wants to pour out of your mouth.

Just let it all go back to them.

When we treat ourselves like shit.

Like when we're harsh towards ourselves.

When we think I'm no good.

When we think my feelings don't matter.

It's often the imprint on us that we energetically absorbed from how others treated us.

So visualize yourself giving it back to this bully.

You can pause the video here and take some time.

Take 5-10 minutes.

Take however much time you need to visualize this energy going back to this person.

It's not yours.

This feeling,

This belief,

This thought.

I'm not good enough.

I'm nothing.

I don't deserve to be loved.

I don't deserve care.

I don't deserve affection.

I don't deserve friends.

I don't deserve lovers.

It's not your belief.

You absorbed it from someone else and now it's time to give it back.

So you can pause the video and I'm going to go on to the next part of this.

The next piece of this is to understand that they were wrong.

They treated you like crap.

They treated you disrespectfully.

They treated you unkindly because they were in pain and they didn't know how to deal with it.

Everyone deserves love.

Everyone deserves kindness.

Everyone.

If there's 10 people in front of me and I treat some kind and some disrespectfully,

That doesn't mean anything.

The people who I treat disrespectfully,

They're not worse.

They don't deserve.

There's not just something wrong with them that they deserve to be treated disrespectfully.

If I treat three people in front of me disrespectfully,

That just means something about me.

That I'm in pain.

Anytime that I notice myself treating someone unkindly,

Disrespectfully,

With anything but love,

I have to look inward.

Instead of saying,

They deserve this or I'm treating them this way because they're bad or they're not good enough.

I've got to look at myself,

Take responsibility and say,

What pain is going on inside of me that causes me to treat someone with anything but love and respect?

Because the only reason I would treat someone disrespectfully or unkindly or unlovingly is if I'm in so much pain and so unbelievably confused that I unconsciously believe the way to feel better is to treat someone bad.

Because when I treat them disrespectfully,

Maybe I feel more powerful.

Maybe I feel superior.

Maybe I feel smarter.

Maybe I feel cooler.

Do you understand?

So you've got to know.

So now we want to explain this to the child.

We want to explain it to the younger us.

Or if you're still in high school,

Middle school,

College,

Just tell it to yourself or the younger you.

You didn't deserve this.

You deserve to be treated with respect and love.

The reason he's treating you this way isn't because you're bad or not cool or a loser or something.

The reason he's treating you like this is because he has so much pain from how his parents treated him,

From things that happened in his childhood,

And he doesn't know how to deal with it.

He's not taking responsibility for it.

So instead he projects it onto you and treats you badly to make himself feel better.

It's time to disbelieve the conclusion.

So when someone treats us like shit,

We unconsciously conclude,

Especially as children,

It must be because I deserve it.

No one deserves to be treated disrespectfully or unkindly.

Spend some time exploring that,

Disbelieving this conclusion from the child's perspective.

And then tell the bully,

I don't deserve this.

I see you're in pain.

I see you,

You know,

Not nice things maybe happened in your childhood.

I see that,

That whatever,

But I don't care.

That's no excuse to treat me like shit.

That's no excuse to punish me,

To yell at me,

To treat me without respect.

My feelings matter and I deserve love,

Care,

Affection,

And kindness.

Stand up for yourself.

And this isn't about painting the bully or the perpetrator as a bad person.

I also treated people like shit sometimes in high school and college because I was in pain and I didn't know what to do.

So we want to have,

We want to stand up for ourselves and allow our anger towards the perpetrator,

Allow the expression of anger,

Hatred,

Even allow all of that.

But after we let out all the anger and the hatred,

Then we can enter compassion and understanding that I understand why they did that.

They didn't know any better,

But that's no excuse.

Yeah.

So if you've been bullied,

I'm really sorry,

I'm sorry that you've had to feel this pain.

I'm sorry that you've had to live with the repercussions of that if it happened a long time ago.

But just because you've gone through this,

Just because you have this pain doesn't mean you need to keep living with this pain.

It can all go in minutes,

Right?

Piece by piece,

Power,

Intensity,

Charge in it.

Those thoughts,

Just because they play all the time in your head doesn't mean they need to keep playing.

Every single thought,

Belief and feeling can go in the moment that we release it,

In the moment we unhook it,

In the moment we disbelieve it.

So I really hope that this video helped you with the impact of bullying in your life.

And if you want more help,

You're welcome to click the link anywhere around here for exploring sessions with me.

Okay.

I hope you have a great day and I really,

Really hope this supported you.

Please let me know in the comments.

Let me know if it helped you in the comments.

Let me know if you have some questions in the comments.

I'd really love to hear your story and share it with other people too.

It can really help.

Bye.

Reviews

It was so impactful to take back our power from the “bully”!

Really helpful. Thank you so much.

Thank you thank you thank you. This is so absolutely perfect and brought me a lot of validation and understanding. I've been emotionally abused my entire life by my family, especially my sister who has been jealous of me because of my mom's Unforgivable obvious favoritism. For the past 4 weeks I haven't been able to stop crying and all I want to do is to numb the heartbreak extreme hurt depression hopelessness and extreme hatred and anger. It's been 48 years and I've always been afraid to really tell my sister off because I feel bad for her, and I would feel too guilty hurting her further. But your track actually relieved some of my pain and gives me hope. I'm definitely going to be following you and listening to your stuff often. Thank you so much - you are really talented ️💖🙏🙏🙏😇🤟