Soothe Anxiety With Self Compassion

I want you to know that if you are feeling anxious then you are not alone. In fact, millions of people all, just like you and me, are feeling anxious right now all over the world. Experiencing anxiety is a normal part of being human. There is nothing wrong with you, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. In this guided audio, we will be exploring how to soothe anxiety with self-compassion, supportive touch, and gentle acceptance.
The background music is “The Traveler” by Hereafter Music.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm Neil and in this guided audio we're going to be exploring how to soothe anxiety with self-compassion and supportive touch.

When I'm feeling anxious,

If my nervous system is freaking out or if I'm stuck in an anxious thought loop,

Then self-compassion is my go-to practice.

I use it when I'm awake in the middle of the night,

When my work is stressing me out,

Or even when I'm at the supermarket.

One of the reasons that I'm telling you this is that I want you to know if you're feeling anxious then you're not alone.

In fact,

Millions of people,

Just like you and me,

Are feeling anxious right now all over the world.

Sensing anxiety is a normal part of being human,

There's nothing wrong with you and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Anxiety is simply a way of your mind and body trying to tell you something,

It's sending you a signal,

It's sending you a message.

And sometimes that anxiety can be quite strong,

So it's difficult to hear that message.

And so that's when we can use self-compassion and soothing touch just to soften that message,

To calm our nervous system,

To calm the mind.

And then maybe at some point we can hear that message,

We can let it be heard.

And I'll say a little bit more about that at the end of this recording.

So I'll say a little bit more about how self-compassion works as we go along,

But what's most important is that you experience it for yourself.

So I guide the rest of this audio like a guided meditation and you're invited to follow along with the instructions that you feel comfortable with and at the same time just dropping any instructions that don't feel right for you.

So just to start with,

Just making yourself nice and comfortable.

If self-compassion is new to you then it might be quite nice to do it somewhere where you won't be disturbed,

Where you can be nice and private.

And maybe finding a soft surface to sit or lie down on.

Grabbing your favourite blanket if you have one.

And just settling in nice and cozy.

And then let's begin just by pausing for a few moments.

Just taking some time to slow down from all the busyness.

There's nothing that you need to do right now.

So we're just pausing.

And then let's bring in the supportive touch,

Or sometimes I call it soothing touch.

And for this all you need to do is bring the palm of one of your hands to rest over your heart and the other hand to rest on your belly.

And as you do so just beginning to tune into the feel of your body underneath your hands.

Feeling the soft feel of clothing or the warmth of your skin.

And you might also have a sense of the comforting feel of your hands on your body.

The warmth and pressure of the hands resting up against you.

When we make contact with our own body in this way it releases the hug hormone,

Oxytocin.

And it's this oxytocin that activates the calming branch of our nervous system,

Moving us from fight or flight mode into feeling calmer and safer.

So if you think about if a friend is going through a difficult time and you give them a hug.

When someone gives you a hug how does that feel?

Often there's just a sense of soothing,

Calming,

Just feeling like things are a little bit more bearable.

So you're offering yourself this simple act of kindness and comfort in the midst of anxiety or any other painful feelings that might be here.

And then as we continue with the soothing touch in the background we can inwardly offer ourselves some words of kindness and support.

And to begin with on a very practical level we can say these phrases to ourselves just to give the mind something else to do.

So rather than being stuck in an anxious thought loop we can just have a simple activity to keep the mind occupied.

So if you like now you can follow along after me saying these phrases silently and inwardly to yourself.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I live with ease and with kindness.

Saying the words really slowly and gently allowing space in between.

This helps to slow down the mind and it also helps to calm your breathing and calm the body as well.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I live with ease and with kindness.

And perhaps savouring the meaning of the words as you say them and as you offer yourself these words with kindness and goodwill.

You might even bring a gentle smile to your lips as you do so and see how that feels.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I live with ease and with kindness.

And perhaps noticing if there are any signals that the mind and body are beginning to calm down.

If there's a subtle feeling of warmth or calm in the body,

Saliva in the mouth,

Gurgling from your belly.

Or perhaps there's still some or quite a lot of anxiety here right now and that's okay.

Or perhaps some of the phrases bring up difficult emotions.

It's not a problem.

It doesn't matter if there is anxiety,

Guilt,

Shame,

Anger,

Difficult thoughts,

Pain.

There is no right or wrong way to feel right now.

Everything is welcome in this space.

And whatever you're feeling right now,

Even if you'd really like to get rid of it,

What would it be like just as an experiment to let go of fighting those feelings and thoughts?

What if you just allowed them to be here?

Just for now,

Just for a few moments.

Feeling the supportive touch of your hands against your body.

And of course you might come back to the phrases to steady yourself.

Letting the sense of well-wishing absorb into your body as you say the words to yourself slowly and gently.

May I be safe.

May I be peaceful.

May I live with ease and with kindness.

Allowing the feel of your hands on your body to soothe any intensity that might be here right now.

Riding the wave of that intensity.

And to support you,

I just want to share these words from the wonderful Dana Folds.

There is no controlling life.

Try corralling a lightning bolt containing a tornado.

Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.

Resist and the tide will sweep you off your feet.

Allow and grace will carry you to higher ground.

The only safety lies in letting it all in,

The wild and the weak,

Fear,

Fantasies,

Failures and success.

When loss rips off the doors of the heart,

Or sadness fails your vision with despair,

Practice becomes simply bearing the truth.

In the choice to let go of your known way of being,

The whole world is revealed to your new eyes.

And perhaps just noticing how those words sit with you,

How they resonate within your body.

And then maybe coming back to the feel of your hands on your body.

That comforting,

Supportive,

Soothing touch.

As we come into the last few minutes of this recording then,

Maybe coming back to a wider sense of your body.

Feeling where you're in contact with whatever surface is supporting you.

Feeling the weight of gravity.

If your eyes are closed then perhaps opening them and very gently and slowly just having a look around the room.

Taking in the colours and shapes and textures.

Just really grounding yourself in your surroundings.

And so if you found this recording helpful then perhaps the next time you're feeling stressed or anxious,

Why not try bringing in some soothing touch or the self-compassion phrases.

Or if you like,

Maybe returning to this recording and giving it another listen.

But for now,

Perhaps just giving yourself a few more quiet minutes before you engage with the rest of your day.

Thank you so much for practicing self-compassion with me and I wish you all the best.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you for the calming restful practice. I feel safer now.

Beautifully grounding. Thank you so much - will return again! 💖🙏🏼

The written description already lowered my anxiety to reduce shame and loneliness. There are so many self help concepts where I'm trying to force myself back to normalcy so I really appreciated the acceptance and normalizing of anxiety here.

I really like Neil’s style of teaching and delivery. Its calm, reassuring, clear, informed, but also real. You won’t find any woo or bypassing or false positivity here! He also takes the time to explain everything he’s including in a practice, with reasons.

Another very helpful recording thank Neil 🙏. A number of your recordings have become go tos for me when I'm in need of some self healing. Blessings as always

I've cried! This is all I needed! 😭