Worthiness Loving Kindness Practice

This informal loving kindness practice is a guided, imagination-based process of expanding humanity and well-wishes to eventually include oneself and all beings. It is a practice I often do with people struggling with a sense of worthiness, self-compassion or kindness for self. While different from traditional loving kindness processes, this short, uncomplicated practice has traditional Buddhist roots though it uses no esoteric ideas or difficult language.

Transcript

So this is a guided worthiness loving kindness practice by Nick Boutros.

To start with,

Get settled into some kind of meditation posture.

It can be any posture that works for you,

Whether lying,

Sitting in a cushion,

Or sitting in a chair.

And as you do that,

Keep in mind that like all loving kindness practices,

This meditation can be quite soothing,

But can also bring up difficult material.

It can bring up feelings that are the opposite of loving kindness that need to be worked with.

Keep in mind that this meditation,

Like all meditations,

Is not a substitute for mental health care.

So when you're in your position,

Maybe starting by taking a good full breath,

Breathing into your belly.

It's not necessary that you breathe in a large amount of air,

But as if you could direct that air down into your belly,

Down into your abdomen.

Just resting with your breath for a few moments,

Letting each breath that you breathe be your signal that right now you can just be present,

Can be relaxed,

Just be here.

And then when you're ready to,

Letting your mind go to people,

Beings that are easy to love.

It could be pets,

It could be family,

It could be your friends.

Just letting your mind see one or more of those people.

And as you regard them in your mind,

As you imagine them,

Acknowledging to yourself that each one of them wants happiness and to be free from suffering.

Just noticing that even if they do silly things,

Each one of those easily loved people or beings happiness and freedom from suffering.

And when you're ready to,

Letting the circle expand a little.

So rather than just people that are easy to love,

Maybe letting yourself think of other friends or other family,

People who are a little bit more complicated.

Maybe people that you know but don't know well,

That you like but aren't in your immediate circle.

Just expanding the circle.

And with each one of those people,

Noticing those people,

Those beings also just like the easily loved ones,

They want happiness and they want freedom from suffering.

And expanding even further,

Maybe letting your mind go to people you don't know that well,

Maybe neighbors,

Maybe people that work at the grocery store,

Other people that you interact with occasionally,

People that are in other ways more complicated,

Acknowledging each one of those,

That those people also,

Those beings also want happiness and they want freedom from suffering.

If you'd like,

You can expand even further from here or you can just stick with the group that you've got.

But if you'd like to expand further,

Maybe letting yourself think of people that you actually don't really know at all,

Maybe strangers that you've seen,

Maybe people on TV,

Groups of people in faraway places,

Or else thinking of people or beings that are even more difficult,

Bugs or pests,

Animals that eat the vegetables in your garden or make your work difficult,

Or people that make your work difficult,

Acknowledging even those people,

Even they just want happiness,

Freedom from suffering,

Even if they do stupid things.

That heart is desire for happiness,

The desire to be free from suffering.

So at this point,

We don't know what it actually does,

But it certainly doesn't do any harm to wish people happiness and freedom from suffering.

So you've imagined all these people,

All these beings,

And now going back in whatever order they come,

Wishing them happiness,

Wishing them freedom from suffering.

And this could happen in lots of different ways.

Maybe there's a particular phrase that you'd like to say to each one of them in your mind,

Like may you be happy.

May you have the things that make you happy or free from fear or whatever phrase you'd like,

Or it could just be a sense that you offer them positive intentions or well wishes,

Or you might have the image of sending them some kind of light,

Some kind of joy that makes them a little bit happier,

Makes them a little bit less scared,

Suffer a little bit less.

Whatever way works for you,

Just letting these different beings,

These different people come up,

Wishing them happiness,

Wishing them well,

Wishing them freedom from suffering.

It's worth noting that sometimes doing this,

People,

Beings come up that it doesn't really feel very easy to wish them happiness.

It doesn't feel easy to wish them freedom from suffering.

And if some of those come up and it just doesn't feel like you can do it,

Just send them to the back of the line.

It's not necessary to wish them harm or anything like that.

Just say,

Come back later.

Maybe by the time they come back around,

It'll be easier or maybe not,

In which case you just send them to the back of the line again.

Just doing the best you can,

Wishing all these different beings happiness and freedom.

Freedom from suffering if you can,

Or just asking them to come back.

It feels like you've come to some kind of stopping point,

Just letting the whole project go,

Just letting your mind kind of flop open.

Being aware that all these different beings,

And we could say pretty much everybody everywhere wants happiness and freedom from suffering.

Maybe now turning your attention to yourself and you,

Like all these people,

All these beings that you imagined,

That you too want happiness and freedom from suffering.

Maybe imagining yourself as a child,

Imagine yourself growing up and being aware that those times you wanted happiness and freedom from suffering.

Imagine yourself in times of success and seeing that happiness and freedom from suffering motivated you.

Imagine yourself in difficult times,

Times you didn't do so well,

Made mistakes,

Having a difficult time.

Acknowledging that even in those times,

Even if you're doing regrettable things,

Stupid things that you wish you hadn't done,

That you wanted happiness and freedom from suffering.

At this point,

If you're up for it,

Why not wish yourself happiness and freedom from suffering?

Maybe seeing yourself as a child,

Wishing that child happiness and freedom from suffering the same way you wish the others,

Sending that child love or saying whatever phrase is meaningful for you.

And likewise,

Thinking of yourself,

Imagining yourself in times of success,

Wishing yourself love and freedom from suffering in those times.

And likewise,

Imagining and seeing in your mind yourself in times of difficulty,

Wishing yourself happiness and freedom from suffering,

Even in those moments.

Any of this feels too difficult,

Same rules apply.

Send that part of yourself or that difficult time to the back of the line.

Focus on the easier times to start with.

And acknowledging that like everybody else,

You want happiness,

Freedom from suffering,

So wishing yourself those things.

And when that process feels like it's coming to a natural close,

Just letting it go,

Just wrapping the whole project,

Letting yourself be in a just open space,

Open state of mind.

And then when you're ready to,

If you'd like,

Just imagining,

Being aware that there are people doing loving kindness practice all the time,

Different parts of the world,

In formal and informal ways,

Whether practice is like this or just wishing each other well.

There are people out there,

It's kind of like loving kindness floating in the air.

There's probably actually even people right now wishing you happiness,

Wishing you freedom from suffering,

Whether they know you or not,

Whether they like you or not.

So just letting yourself be open,

As if you can receive that free-floating loving kindness that's just out there.

Just feeling that sense that someone or another,

Maybe lots of people,

Wishing you well,

Whether you feel like you deserve it or not.

Just letting yourself experience that loving kindness.

And finally,

Why not return that loving kindness?

Obviously you don't know all the people or all the beings in the world,

But you know that they want happiness and freedom from suffering.

You know that there's this free-floating loving kindness,

Different people ascending loving kindness to one another.

So adding to it,

Just letting yourself be open,

As if you could beam or send or at least wish loving kindness for everyone that exists,

Why not?

Wishing all beings well,

Wishing them all happiness and freedom from suffering.

And you can feel yourself a part of that,

You as one of the multitude of beings,

Part of that free-flowing loving kindness.

And you can touch into that free-flowing loving kindness whenever you need it during your day.

Sometimes it'll be easier than others,

Of course,

But just being aware that it's out there,

That it's a part of you and you're a part of it.

Anytime you need it,

Just touching in.

This concludes our meditation.

Reviews

Beautiful and creative flow to the practice and I enjoyed very much. Thanks:)

Thank you🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻I liked the idea of becoming aware of and connecting with anybody in the world right now who is doing a loving kindness practice🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Very gentle and loving. Softly spoken and just long enough for me so it will be used more than a few times. Thank you kind sir. May you live your life with ease and harmony. 🌿