When You’ve Outgrown Your Life: The Courage To Change

Have you been feeling restless, emotionally exhausted, disconnected, or unable to keep living as the version of yourself you once were?
Join Natalie for a space of reflection, emotional truth, and inner transformation as we explore what happens when you have outgrown your current life, identity, relationships, patterns, or ways of being.
We’ll look at the grief, confusion, and uncertainty that can arise when your old life no longer feels aligned, but the next chapter is not yet clear. Through guided reflection, insight, and emotional support, you’ll be invited to reconnect with your intuition, honor the changes taking place within you, and listen to the deeper call toward authenticity, healing, and a more aligned way of living.

Transcript

So, Let's dive in deeper to our topic today. About when your soul has outgrown your current life. And I want to open with a question and just Get a read from the group. Um, Can you identify with that phrase? Can you identify with that feeling? Have you ever felt like your soul was calling you into something different? That you were feeling pulled or pushed into something new. And maybe you felt uncertain or afraid of what that might mean or where it was taking you. Because all of us, I mean, Okay, We're all here in this spiritual app, Right? So I make assumptions based on the You know, If a person finds Insight Timer, If they download it, If they use it, If they join the live streams, There's certain characteristics that we can generally assume a person like that has, Which is they're interested in spirituality, Personal growth, Meditation, You know, Evolving themselves. So, You know, I imagine all of you are at some phase of that journey, And it's a very common in spiritual circles that we, It's like we idolize, Idealize, We have a goal to expand, Evolve, Awaken, Become enlightened, Even some of us. But really to be the best version of ourselves we can be. And it kind of becomes glamorized. Have you all noticed that? That there's this sort of idealization of spiritual transformation and enlightenment and awakening that it's this romantic concept. And that it's going to be all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and flow. And that is a part of it. The issue comes when people expect that it's only going to be that. And then they learn that it can be the exact opposite of that at times, Which means having a breakdown, Falling apart, Feeling like you're going crazy. A dark night of the soul, A midlife crisis. So some of you can relate to this. Jay, Helen, Mindy. So it's like, Yes, And, It's all of it. But, You know, On social media, And even maybe here in Insight Timer and things like that, There can be this focus on, It's all gonna be just this easy sunlit path. And that is not, I mean, Some people, Sure, Great. And if that's been you, Wonderful, Good for you. That's not been my experience. And not been others as well. It reminds me of this meme I shared years ago on my Instagram, Which has a close-up of a boy's face with this rain boot. You know, He's pinned to the ground with his boot, Holding him down. And it says, Like, Man, I can't remember. I'm going to botch this. But it was like something about spiritual awakening. And then the next panel was zoomed out and like the boy is holding the boot on his face himself. So he's like the one doing it to himself. But it feels like it's out of his control. So that's how it can feel, Right? It's like we want this, But then sometimes we feel trapped in it. So if you feel like something inside of you has changed, If you feel like you're outgrowing your current life, But you haven't fully stepped into it, Caught up with that, So we're going to explore what all this means about identity, Relationships, Patterns, Work. Way of being. You know, Is there a part of you that's afraid to let go? Is there a part of you that wants to stay? In the known, In your comfort zone. And, You know, When we evolve and change and grow, That means we're going to be going into the unknown. If you want to create something different in your life, You must do something different that you've never done before. And that's like fear, You know, We're afraid. Um. . . I always give the example of getting clean and sober, Which by the way, Last week, Like two days ago, Was 10, 000 days. And if you're in my email list, You've got an email, A short email that I sent about that with my picture from Machu Picchu. But, You know, Getting clean and sober. It's been, To do the math, Over 27 years, Almost 27 and a half. I had to become the version of myself that was clean and sober and lived a different life. So. . . That required me to do things I had never done before. Which, Number one, Was when I really wanted to take a drink or get high, I didn't do it for the first time in my life. So I use this as a real world example for myself. And if you don't have that issue, You can still apply this to anything, Right? I mean, For some people, It might be a journey with food, Relationship with food and weight and body, You know, And we see these transformations. And I've had my own transformation around sugar and being a sugar addict and now being, I'm coming up on six years sugar free. I had to do something completely different. In order to create a different result. Going into the unknown. Thank you, Cara, Helen, Kimmy. 603 days. You know what's interesting? When I got sober, You know, In 1999, We didn't have all this technology that allowed counting of days. I say that in jest. I hadn't counted days ever, But I'm in these groups on Facebook where people are saying 200 days, 100, 1, 000, Whatever. And it was so interesting, Y'all. A week ago, Probably. Or less than a week ago, Somebody posted something. And I was like, Oh, I wonder how many days I have. I searched how many days I had. That day was 9, 999 and I was like, Oh my God, You can't make this shit up. What a synchronicity that I would see. And I've seen these day posts before, But for some reason I was like, Hmm, Let me check my days. I was one day away from 10, 000. Like, Oh my God. So of course I had to celebrate 10, 000 days. I mean, That is, That's a lifetime. And again, To become a person that has 10, 000 days clean and sober, I had to change my mind. I had to change my habits. I had to change everything about myself. And my soul inside of me. Was speaking in its own language, So do you all know? How your soul speaks to you. How does it communicate with you? Give a word in the chat. And if you don't know, That's fine, But you don't know how to feel it. Mmm. Yes, Definitely, Mindy. This is not a linear journey, And in my life coaching, I am always reminding clients of this. Our mind says, We're going to set off and it's going to be this path like this, And we're just going to go straight up, And that's not how it is. If you zoom in on day to day, It's going to feel like this and look like this. If you zoom out, It will be a line upward, But when we're in our moments, That's not how it feels. Mmm, The sun gets brighter. What about your inner sun? Can you all feel what that feels like? To tune into that essence of your soul, That part of you that's infinite, That's divine, That's unchanging, That's perfect. Mmmmm. Terry, Hello. You feel it in your gut. You'll get chills. I also can get chills as well. And the other huge example I have about my soul, You know, Speaking to me and guiding me, Which those of you that know me have heard this example as well, When I left my job of almost 13 years, And in the months leading up to that, My soul was screaming at me internally to get the fuck out. Like, That's the language, That's how strongly my soul was trying to get my attention that I had outgrown that job of 13 years. I had a corporate job in the U. S. And because of my deep transformation in serving others in the 12-step community, I had transformed into somebody that was about to become a life coach. I was too scared to leave my job. Of course. Of course. And so I was gripping and clinging because it was unknown. My job held my life together, This beautiful online, Working remote, Living in different countries. And so I was terrified. I did not see any possibility. And that like everything you want is on the other side of fear. I'm sure you've heard that before. And it's true. So my soul was literally screaming at me every day, Like, This is not an alignment for you. I was long past the expiration date at that job, And it took outside forces coming in to force a change. And we call that, As a tarot reader, I call that a tower moment. The tower card in tarot depicts an image of a tower with lightning striking the tower. The tower is on fire. People are jumping out of the tower to save their lives. A tower moment is when it comes from the outside. And shakes things up. And that's exactly what happened because my soul would not, Like I wasn't listening to my soul screaming at me. So it took this tower moment of my job saying, You don't have a job anymore unless you comply with these horrible, Unfair standards that we're just suddenly imposing upon you after 13 years. So thank God that I did not comply with that. And if I would have, That would have been just more of my journey, And that's okay. So. . . Mmm. So Helen gets chills. Feeling like your soul taps into your lower mind. Yeah, Kelly, Great point. Pain in the body is a way our soul can speak to us if we're not aligned. Kara, Learning to come back to listening to your body after abandoning it for so long. And you know, It makes sense when we do that, Because that is a way that we keep ourselves safe if we don't feel safe in our body. And that's something else I always talk about in coaching, And I do this in my coaching sessions, Is people to come back into the body to learn what it feels like to feel safe in the moment with whatever the body is doing, Whatever the mind is thinking. Oh wow, Helen, You also left a corporate job after 13 years. Mmm, And you had a tower moment as well. Yeah. I actually, I have my cards right here. Let's see, Let's see what Spirit has to say about this. And some symptoms that your soul. Has outgrown your current life. Might be. Things that used to be comfortable or okay with you are no longer okay. You might feel emotional exhaustion in your current role, If it's job, If it's relationship, If it's relationship with yourself. I mean, I felt totally drained and exhausted and resistant. In my job role. And of course, Hitting a bottom in addiction is its own very extreme example. Um. . . You might feel grief or you might feel teary. You might feel like easy to cry and maybe not have a reason why. And then you also might feel like you can't tolerate old ways of doing or being, You know, If it is addiction to a person, To your phone, To a substance, Maybe betraying yourself, Maybe boundaries you can't tolerate not having them anymore. And these are all good things, Although they don't feel great. And there can be grief, Because it's a letting go. And entrusting the unknown. Oh, So we have the strength card. So this is a very bold and clear message for you. Remember who you are. Remember your inner strength. Remember that you have everything you need. I love this image because it's, You know, She's got a half human face and half lion face. And there's also. I want to look up, And those of you that know these cards and know my readings, They have affirmations. With each card in the Light Seer's tarot deck. So I want to see what this affirmation is for you all, Because this will help guide you when you're in this space. So the affirmation is, I deliberately shine my compassion and strength I deliberately shine my compassion and strength. And for many of you, That's going to be first shining it into yourself. Because most of us grew up in homes that we were not shown compassion, We were not shown unconditional love, It was conditional. It was difficult. So then we learned toxic shame. And we learned, You know, How to have a critical voice, Our inner voices, Self critical. So in order to heal that, We must heal that part of ourself that's wounded, That inner child. And we do that with compassion. So shining your compassion and your strength. Into your own heart, Into your own soul is where to start. Your inner truth is ready and asking to be heard. Hmm, Kara, There you are. Yeah, Helen had to grieve all of this. Yeah, And especially if you do identify with, Like, Letting go of an addiction, Or even a pattern or a behavior or a habit. And this is what I look at in my coaching as well with people is there's a light and a shadow side to everything, Like even if it's an addiction. It's giving you something positive. There is a payoff. But usually, The payoff is, You know, The positive payoff is way, Way, Way, Way less than the consequences. And that's the classic. Way addiction works. In the beginning, Let's say alcohol and drugs, It's like, Oh, Like for me, Like, Oh, Wow, I took my first drink or had my first joint, And it was like, Oh, You know, A spiritual experience. I felt so at home, Finally. I felt relief, Excitement, Joy. So of course that made me want to do it again as soon as possible, But the problem is it's a law of diminishing returns over time. It then becomes just normal. And then I had to use to feel normal. And then it took me over, You know, In AA we say like, First we take the drink, Then the drink takes us. So that's how that can happen. So you want to look at. Okay, Whatever this pattern is for you, Whatever your soul is calling you forward to outgrow, There is something positive in it. But then you also want to look at what's the negative consequence, What's the shadow side of that. And so, You know, That's where the grief can come in if you're letting go of something that has been in your life for a long time. If it's a person, If it's an identity. You know, For me as an addict, That's who, You know, I, That was me. That was my identity. I was. That version of myself until I transformed and I had to call on this strength. And also relationship with, You know, Universe, God, Higher power, And all of that. So there's this in between phase where there's grief of letting go of all the coping mechanisms that, You know, They help you get through the day. But then it's like you're in between. I don't know who I am anymore without that identity, Or without hating myself, Or shaming myself, Blaming. And really the journey is about going from being a victim to being responsible. And that to me is the deepest part of the journey because that is a discovering of the truth of who you are. You are a powerful being. You have unlimited power. That's why it hurts so much. When you forget that. And when we contract, We feel like a victim. We feel like all these things were done to us instead of for us. Then we're stuck. We feel powerless, Hopeless. So the journey is remembering your true power. In stepping into that and that means that your inner sense of who you are and what you want and what's important in your values and your morals and your beliefs are in alignment with your actions and your words. And when you're completely in alignment, You are fully responsible, Fully in power. But there's a journey, It's integration, It's letting go. I'm working with a person who's got less than 30 days clean and sober after using for decades. They've never been completely free from substances. And they're a little bit younger than me, So they're midlife. And You know, They were talking about a few years ago they'd quit drinking. But they didn't quit smoking pot and they thought they were sober at the time. And then now. She's like, You know, I can't believe I thought I was. Sober, You know, I picked up chips in the 12-step rooms and Um. . . But I didn't deserve those because I was still smoking pot every day. And I said, You know, I get that. And you were doing the best you could at the time. You thought you were sober. And so I gently reminded her and worked with her to come out of that. Punishment in that shaming that past version of her. You know, She was doing the best she could at the time. So letting go of being hard on yourself. And it doesn't mean condoning bad behavior in the moment. You want to hold yourself to a high standard, But it's a fine line. You don't want to try and shame your way into change or beat yourself up. That will not work. If shaming your way into change worked, It would have worked decades ago. So, As you become this version that your soul is calling you forth into, You might struggle. With fear, Uncertainty, You might feel empty. You might not know which way to go. You might be full of doubt. You might just feel uncomfortable. So how many of you can relate to that? Give an emoji or word in the chat. This process, This part of the process, Is the integration, Is the transformation. And again, It might not feel like sunshine and rainbows and lightness every moment. And what will happen is you will lose tolerance for things you used to be able to tolerate in yourself and in others. Because you will be practicing self-love more. So it will no longer be okay for you to abandon yourself anymore. And betray yourself anymore. Yeah, Window of tolerance. I love that. Thank you for that language. Your window of tolerance grows smaller. So if you've been a people pleaser or struggle with codependency, How many of you can relate to that? It will start feeling unbearable. You know, Maybe old dynamics with family or people close to you, Having the same conversation over and over. You just, It's draining and you won't do it anymore. Mmmmmmm. Exactly, Nindy. So this is what I was just saying about this integration part. It can feel uncomfortable because it's not. . . Fully formed yet. And this is too where. Going from victim to responsible. Powerless to empowered, Sovereign, To learn to be sovereign in yourself, To learn to trust your words and know when you say something, You will follow through. This is where you get to create who you want to be. You know, Who is this version of you? For all of you that is strong. In my coaching, I also work with state of being. Who are you being? And who do you want to be? And spoiler alert, It's really always the same thing we all want. We want to feel free. We want to feel inspired. We want to feel joy. We want to feel peace. In what's underneath all that. Is presence. When we are present, It's much easier for these other wonderful states of being to emerge. So other ways where it might be feeling painful for you right now. You know, Being around people where the old dynamics are still at play, You might feel you need more alone time. You might notice, Where are you overgiving? Where are you forcing yourself to perform? Where are you less available for things that you used to be available for? So this is part of the growth as well. So it might be telling the truth. It might be ending a friendship. It might be leaving the job. Or it might be going to a 12-step meeting. I mean, It's going to be different for everybody. It might be really learning to slow down and really tuning into that language of your soul. And following it. Trusting. Not needing to force or push. So it doesn't, I mean it might be a big bold, You know, Decision or declaration or. Ending. And it might be these moment by moment choices to be compassionate with yourself, To bring yourself back to presence. I'm in the middle of coaching somebody. We're in a year long engagement together and we just had a session. Because they've struggled with feeling aimless, Feeling scattered, Overwhelmed, And not focused, And having so much wonderful things in their life, And still dealing with this scatteredness and overwhelm. And so we looked at, Okay, Let's bring this into tangible, Real world and real life situations so that we can work with what's here. And so we looked at state of being, Who did they want to be? What would require. What would be required of them to create the presence and the freedom and come away from the aimlessness, The overwhelm. And it's like our mind, It feels too boring. We want the bright lights and burning bushes. And really, It's about just this moment. And so a lot of times with clients, We will run experiments. And run an experiment to see how. Tweaking one small thing goes for a few days or a week, And then coming back with the results of the experiment. And so with this person, It was about them doing their work and feeling like they couldn't focus. So we set up a concrete system. And accountability with me, Where they will be checking in. And see how this new system of showing up differently to their work goes. Breaking things down into easily manageable time chunks. And that's the work of change and transformation. Ooh, Kelly, That's a great quote. Age is an extraordinary process where we become the person we were always meant to be. Isn't it so true? Yeah. So allow yourself to let the next version of you emerge. You know, The analogy of the caterpillar in the cocoon emerging as the butterfly. If a human tries to open the cocoon and see the process, Or whatever, Or even like a chicken with an egg, You know, Like, We must have that incubation time. If we try and force it and open the egg too soon or look inside the cocoon, It will kill what's trying to grow there because it's not ready. So what is one truth that your soul has been trying to tell you? But you haven't, You've been resistant to admitting and taking on fully. What is one truth? That you already know. That you've been in denial about for yourself. Hehehehehehe And that's such a common common theme. You know, Being impatient. Wanting what we want once we want it and we want it all now because it feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar right now. And that's okay. So it's about trusting this process. You know, At the bottom of the deck we have this, The Three of Swords. This is a card, Obviously, It's to me the most painful card in the deck. I mean, Look at it. It's heartbreak, It's heartache, It's grief, It's loss. So this is what you're overcoming with the Strength card, But it's like, This doesn't feel good. So we want to hurry up. We want to get away from this. But as I say this often also in my coaching sessions, It's a process and not an event. So I want you all to remember that this is a process, Not an event. Again, Our mind wants to go to, Oh, It's simple. It's one and done. I've transformed. I'm now 100% in my strength. Again, That's not how it goes. You know, You must integrate and be with this part. And learn. You know, Learn to let both of these things exist. And learn to come into your power to be able to hold space for this broken heart and this part of you that feels wounded or broken. Hi, Dana. Yeah. We are all worthy and deserving. So give yourself permission to have mixed feelings. Give yourself permission to feel impatient. What is a permission slip you can write for yourself? And for some of you that are really hard on yourself, I invite you to do this as a literal practice. Get a piece of paper. Or if you're super creative. Create it in the graphic program online, Print it out. And write permission slip. I, Natalie, Whatever your name, Give myself permission to blank, Blank, Blank. It might be something specific. It might be like, Go to the spa tomorrow, Or go ground my feet into the earth. Or it might be, I give myself permission to. . . Give myself a break. Wonderful Kimmy. So you don't have to have everything figured out today. Saying we have in 12 step more will be revealed So trust that and trust that the next step will come at the right time like for me in my job situation You know, I had this very uncomfortable soul. You know, Screaming at me to get out that I didn't listen to. And, You know, When it was time, The tower moment came and my job told me, You know, If you don't move back to the US, Et cetera, During COVID. All of these horrible stipulations, No severance after 13 years, Nothing. Then you don't have a job anymore. And miraculously, Synchronistically, You can't make this shit up, You know, A week before, I had had a session with a life coach and told her I wanted to be a life coach. And she's like, Go do it. You can start now. And I was like, Really? And a week before my job told me this news, I had done my first two coaching sessions. And then here comes the tower moment. So it's like, Okay. I guess this is, It's time. You know, Ready is not a feeling, It's a decision, And I decided. Mm, Wonderful, Kara. So allow it all to exist. I mean, I was full of fear, Of course. And getting clean and sober, Oh my gosh, It was hell in the first few months and first few years. In some ways. Yes, Jay, Jump and the net will appear. Yeah, I love the full card in this deck. I don't know if. . . I'll synchronistically be able to pull it. I don't see it coming up, But anyway, It's basically like falling and letting the net appear. Um. . . Yeah, So give yourself permission. This is called the light seers deck. So you can allow it all to exist. It's like both and. You can be scared and be growing. You can love someone and need distance or and need to leave. You can be grateful and know there's still change to happen. You can miss things about the past or whatever you're letting go of and still want to move forward. Wonderful, Maya. Thank you for joining. So. . . There's a sentence you can write your answer to in the chat or write it to yourself, Ponder it. My soul is asking me to blank. My soul is asking me to. So what is your soul asking you? And it doesn't have to mean a 100% 180 like the examples I've given. It could be. But it might be. You know, To have a conversation, Or. . . To throw away, You know, The junk food in the house. I don't know. Thank you Kimmy and Kara for the donations! Wonderful, I love that Kimmy. Your soul is asking you to give it grace as you continue on your journey and that you're human, Remembering that you're human. Yeah. And that's part of this awakening process is that discomfort that we feel because this is, Again, The journey is not linear. That when we make a choice out of alignment, We feel how that feels and it becomes more and more intolerable. And that is the journey and the growth. So if this has resonated with you, I do offer for those of you who have not had a gifted session with me. That we can dive into, You know, What is this for you that your soul is. . . Calling you forward into. And actually, For those of you that are in social media with me, And follow me there if you would like, And I also have an email list, I have announced for my 50th birthday, I am gifting 50 coaching sessions, Complimentary. So even if you've had that with me before, It is for anyone and it is a gift. So I thought it would be, It just was a fun idea that came to me. I have actually had a huge response. So I still have sessions left and many have been utilized or scheduled. So if you want to take advantage of my gift for my 50th birthday, I am giving a complimentary coaching session to anybody who feels that they would like to experience that. So again, If you've had that with me before, It doesn't matter. Send me a message. You can just write 50. Keep it simple. Here in Insight Timer or anywhere that I am. Kelly, Your soul is reminding you or asking you to remember that you're worthy of a life of fun, Excitement, And adventure. Beautiful. Yep, That's what I'm doing, Kimmy. So feel free to reach out, Or anybody here. You're welcome, JE. And again, Join me June 24th. I will share that again. The live stream, My next scheduled live stream. I will be in Lake Atitlan as well. We might be going. Um. . . To see the lake in the live stream, But I'm gonna have to see if it makes sense logistically, But it is a stunning lake. It's like volcanoes rising out of the water, Like, And the water is clear. Thank you, Kimmy. You're welcome, Jay. Yeah, Mindy, That's so true. And that's what happens when we get in this path, Because the path never ends. We're always evolving and it never ends. It can be very easy to get into serious drudgery, Work on ourself every moment. And that's that wounded child part of us, Right? So we need to remember and tune into our wonder child. Your wonder child. What do they want to do? How can they have fun? I was at the cafe this morning. There was the cutest little boy. He came to the cafe with his family. He was probably four or five. He was wearing a cape. A superhero cape. And it had like a emblem of a hammer on it. I don't know who it- maybe Thor. I don't know. But he also had a little toy hammer. That matched his cape, And he was walking around with his cape and his little hammer. And I'm like. . . You know, I want some of that. I need some of that. Children are such wonderful reminders for us. So thank you, Kara. And again, To Sunday the 28th, We will be doing our card reading, Reiki and Ancestral Clearing, 1030 AM Eastern. And I'm going to be in the woo-woo town on the lake for that, I think. Pretty sure. Yep. So there's like, You know, The new age woo-woo area that people live in. So I'll be there. So join me for that. Thank you all. Please follow me here. Give a donation if this was helpful. Tell your friends.

Reviews

Hi Natalie! 👋🏼 This talk was super helpful for me. Yes, the cocoon - very uncomfortable - I'm going thru that now. Thank you for shedding some light with your experience & wisdom. I appreciate you & your work. Thank you! 🙏🏻