If you're anything like me,
You'll find yourself getting stressed over the smallest things in life.
Simple day-to-day things like the traffic or the weather or getting late or what someone else has said or done can completely change how you feel.
So what do you do when you've heard well-being and spiritual wisdom but you're struggling to apply it to your life?
One of the things I've realized is that we get really comfortable with things staying the same.
That's what we associate with peace,
That everything goes according to plan and when that doesn't happen we use words like this is going bad and when something is good that's when it's gone according to how you think it should have gone.
The awakened people realize that there's no such thing as good or bad.
Those are just labels we use to describe how something affects us.
Think about it.
Imagine it was your wedding day and it's been dry and no rain for many months and so in your mind you create an expectation that it's not going to rain.
In fact you might even pray that says,
Oh please universe God please make sure it doesn't rain on my wedding day.
But a mile up the road there's a farmer and he's looking up at the sky and he's praying I hope it starts to rain.
I hope it rains really soon.
Now along comes your wedding day and sure enough on this day it rains.
Now the question that you have to ask is is the rain good or bad?
And when you think about it you realize the rain,
The reality of what is happening in that moment is good for some and bad for others or in reality some people will label that as good and some people will label it as bad.
When we receive something we think life is good and when things get taken away we think life is bad and we never realize that both of these are necessary.
So we need to start looking at life with a neutral mind.
Think about what happens when someone pushes in front of you when you're waiting in a queue.
What kind of thoughts come into your mind?
Frustration,
Blame,
Anger.
But the longer you keep those thoughts in your mind the more tormented you're going to feel and it's so important that you learn how to neutralize those reactive thoughts.
A mantra that I love to use is this moment is grace.
Now some would argue that you should always stand up for yourself.
You should push back and how do you know when to react and when not to react?
Now I'm not talking about what you should do,
I'm talking about what you should feel like and there's a big difference because let's say you do argue back.
Have you ever noticed that when you've had an argument long afterwards that argument is still going on in your mind?
So this is about how do you neutralize your thoughts so that you don't have prolonged periods of mental torment?
You might think that it's easy to neutralize negative thoughts when small things happen but what about the bigger problems in life?
How do you deal with someone who you trust,
Who has betrayed you,
Who has been rude to you,
Who has offended you in some way?
What do you do in those moments?
One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is that there's no bad people,
Only bad choices.
And what that means is everyone is simply acting according to their conditioning.
How the environment,
How their circumstances have shaped and molded them to act in the way that they did with you and when we think like that it becomes easier not to judge another person,
Not to blame another person and to even find it in your heart to forgive them.
And so the question you want to ask yourself is how long do I want to carry this pain?
You know it reminds me of this story that there were two monks who were walking down a path and they had sworn to a vow of celibacy.
In fact they had taken a vow to never touch another woman and when they were walking along this path they saw an old lady standing by the edge of the river and they had to cross this river.
The older and the wiser monk,
He didn't even stop to ask any questions.
He simply picked up that old lady,
Carried her on his back and they crossed over.
Now about half an hour had passed and the younger less experienced monk said we've taken a vow to never even look at a woman,
Never touch a woman.
Why did you pick that lady up?
And the wise monk,
The older monk said when I saw that situation I realized that I needed to help her.
I carried that old lady across the river and I put her down.
The question is why are you still carrying her?
And when I think about the story it's a reminder to let go of the past.
It's a reminder to not carry the traumas of the past even if the effects of the past may be being felt today.
And the same is also true about blaming yourself.
There are so many times that we carry around guilt and shame for something that we did in the past.
But the truth is you were only acting based on the knowledge that you had at that time.
Think about it.
Knowing what you know now you wouldn't act in the same way but back then you acted in the best way you knew how.
So what you have to look at is how long do I want to carry that past because I can't change the past but I can choose to see the past in a different way.
I can choose to be happy now.
I can choose to not carry the burden of those mistakes.
So the key thing is don't hold on to the past.
Embrace the idea that life is full of changes and surprises and those who learn to live with the unexpected will live a far more peaceful and contented life.
