Hello friends,
This is Mark Gladman,
Also known as Brother Frederick James,
Your friendly neighbourhood monk in dogs.
Welcome to day 33 of our walk through John's Gospel to Easter in the wilderness,
Still held.
Before we begin today,
I just want to say a special thank you to all those who have left comments,
Both here and at the online community,
Which you can find through my bio on Insight Timer.
Thank you for the stories,
For the testimonies,
For the epiphanies,
For the moments that have touched many of you over the last 32 days.
And I look forward to seeing more of those as we continue on through Lent.
So thank you,
Friends,
For making these spaces beautiful community together.
Let's begin by arriving here in this moment.
Take a slow deep breath in,
Gently let it go.
Allow your body to settle.
Let your breathing find that natural rhythm.
And for the next little bit,
We give ourselves,
Our minds,
Our hearts,
Our hands to simply being here.
And today we're entering a quiet but powerful moment at the start of chapter 12 of John's Gospel.
Jesus is in Bethany at dinner with friends.
Lazarus is at the table,
The one who's been dead and now is alive.
One of his sisters,
Martha,
Is serving.
And the other sister,
Mary,
Does something incredibly unexpected,
Especially at that time.
She takes a jar of costly perfume,
Very expensive,
A year's worth of perfume.
According to the text,
And she kneels and she pours it out all over Jesus' feet and then wipes his feet with her hair.
And the Gospel tells us something that we often overlook,
But is absolutely beautiful.
The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
Just stop and see if you can even smell what that would be like.
The whole house filled with fragrance.
And Mary does this before the cross,
Before the suffering,
Well before the clarity of resurrection.
She doesn't wait until everything makes sense.
She responds with love now,
In the moment,
As her heart took her.
And it makes me wonder whether love doesn't have a way to wait for understanding sometimes.
Sometimes love just moves first.
Sometimes the heart knows well before the mind does.
But not everyone sees this moment in the same way.
One voice objects.
The voice of Judas.
He looks at what Mary has done and he begins doing math.
He begins calculating.
Why wasn't the perfume sold?
Why wasn't the money given to the poor?
And from a certain perspective,
It sounds quite reasonable,
Quite measured and quite practical.
But beneath,
You can see where Judas is probably coming from another posture,
Another position.
Calculation.
Mary pours.
Judas calculates.
Two ways of seeing the world.
One sees scarcity,
But the other lives from devotion.
And this is one of the quiet tensions of the spiritual life,
Don't you think?
Love often appears excessive to those who measure everything.
Presence looks wasteful to the calculating mind that's thinking,
Hey,
Time's money.
Extravagant kindness can seem impractical because the money could be going elsewhere.
But love doesn't operate according to the mathematics of scarcity.
Love flows,
Love pours and love fills the house with fragrance.
When we're walking through this wilderness,
The long inner journey towards Easter through Lent,
Have you noticed that something begins to strip away?
We slowly but surely loose our grip on calculation,
On our constant measuring.
The subtle questions like,
Is it worth it?
What will I get back?
What if I give too much?
In wilderness seasons,
Those questions begin to soften and something else emerges.
It's a quieter position.
It's a surrendered devotion and Mary shows us what that looks like.
She risks presence.
She offers love without controlling the outcome.
She doesn't know exactly what's coming in the next little while,
But she knows the one who's right in front of her right now and that,
That is enough.
Take a nice,
Slow,
Deep breath in and gently look inward for a moment.
Where do you sometimes hold back love?
And I wonder,
Is the root because of fear?
Maybe the fear of being misunderstood?
The fear of giving too much?
Perhaps even the fear of giving too little?
Perhaps you fear that your love may not be returned.
And as you hold what's emerged,
Another question,
What might wholehearted presence look like in your life today?
Sincere,
Not to be dramatic or performative,
But sincere presence.
Things like a conversation where you truly listen.
A moment of patience,
Maybe even a quiet act of kindness or a word of encouragement.
The kind of moments where love is poured out in small,
But very real ways,
Right now.
There in the moment because of what is before you.
As many of you are aware,
Abiding is my word for this year.
Abiding in God and abiding in God slowly changes the heart.
The more we rest in that presence,
The less guarded we become.
And generosity has this way of naturally arising within us.
Just simply flowing from that deep place that's connected to the source.
Flowing out like a fragrance that's filling a room.
Imagine for a moment that your life could carry that same quiet fragrance.
Not because you're trying harder,
But because you're allowing love just to simply flow freely.
Because you stopped measuring everything,
Especially all those beautiful things that act of care and attention and concern and love.
And because you trusted that love itself is never wasted,
Ever,
Ever,
Ever.
Take another slow,
Deep breath and let your body soften again.
And simply hold this invitation for a moment.
Risk presence without overthinking.
Just for today,
Allow love to move a little more freely.
And as we bring our time together today to a close,
Just hold this image in your mind.
Merry kneeling,
Perfumed poured out,
The whole house filled with fragrance.
Love offered without calculation.
Let that image settle gently within you.
And as you go into your day,
May your heart grow spacious.
May your presence become generous and may the quiet fragrance of love fill every space you enter today.
Amen.
Until tomorrow,
My friends,
May grace,
Peace and love always be with you.
Bye for now.
