07 What Do You Want? Desire And Distraction (Luke 10:38-42)

Jesus repeatedly asks people questions about what they want, what they are looking for, what they desire, and whether they want to be changed. We often assume spirituality means learning to suppress desire. But I think Jesus was inviting us to something more difficult: to become honest about our desires.

Not every desire is from God, not every desire should be acted upon, but neither should every desire be silenced. Our desires can reveal wounds, fears, loves, attachments, our vocations, and sometimes beneath all of that, the movement of God within us. This series is not about getting what you want, but about learning to answer honestly when you are asked: "What do you want?"

In today's episode, we ponder the question: what do I actually want when I'm constantly doing things for everyone else?

Transcript

Welcome back, Friends. This is Mark Gladman, Also known as Brother Frederick James, Your friendly neighbourhood monk in dogs. As we continue in our series. What do you want? We've been moving over the last few days slowly into the question at the heart of the series, What do you want? We discovered. That there can be quite a lot underneath that question. We began by asking what we're actually looking for. We explored whether we really want the changes we say we want. We looked at ambition and the desire to matter. We met Bartimaeus, Who simply said, I want to see. And then we went underneath all of our desires by asking, What are we really thirsty for? Today. We're going to explore something a little different. Because sometimes the problem isn't that we don't know what we want. Sometimes the problem is that we're too busy to notice. And there's a familiar story in Luke's gospel. The story of Jesus coming to the home of two sisters. Marian Martha. Let's start by hearing how Luke tells the story. In Luke 10, Versus 38 to 42. Now as they went on their way, He entered a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, So she came to him and asked, Do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me. But the Lord answered her, Martha, Martha, You were worried and distracted by many things. There's need of only one thing. Mary's chosen the better part which will not be taken away from her. So as we all know in the story, Jesus comes to the house, Martha welcomes him, And then she gets busy. There's food to prepare, Things to organise, Things to do. She's serving, She's working, She's making sure all the things are taken care of. And all the while Mary sits at Jesus' feet and listens. And eventually Martha gets really frustrated with this. She comes to Jesus and essentially says, Don't you care that I'm doing all this work while Mary's sitting here? And Jesus responds by saying that Mary has chosen what is better. Now often when we hear this story, It's presented as contrast. Martha's the busy one, Mary's the contemplative one. Martha's doing too much, Mary's doing it right. This is, I think, A really simplistic way of reading it because Martha isn't doing anything bad. Jesus never chastises her. She's serving Jesus. She's offering hospitality. She's working. She's doing something good. And that's exactly why this story matters so much, Because sometimes the things that distract us aren't bad things, They're good things. Think about your life. How much of what fills your day is actually worthwhile? Work, Family, Caring for people, Church, Volunteering, Exercise, Housework, Projects, Emails, Messages, Planning, Even prayer. None of these are bad. But it's possible to spend your entire life doing good things and still become disconnected. From your deepest desires. And that's a strange thought. Because we generally imagine that if we're busy doing worthwhile things, It must be that we're living a worthwhile life. But being active and being alive aren't the same thing. You can be incredibly productive and deeply lost. You can be useful. And exhausted. You can be needed by everyone and still not know what you need and you can spend your whole life responding to what everyone else wants. And never stop to ask, What do I want? And that's one of the most important questions in this series, Because sometimes our desires become buried under obligation. Expectation, Responsibility, That endless stream of things that need to be done. And after a while we don't even know what our own voice sounds like anymore. Maybe you know what I mean. Someone asks, What do you want to do this weekend? And you say, Ah, Whatever everybody else wants to do. Or someone asks, What do you want for dinner? And you go, Oh, I don't mind. Or someone asks, What do you want from the next few years of your life? And suddenly you've got no idea because you've become very good at responding. But you've forgotten how to desire. Now there's something in Martha's story that I find especially interesting. She's not just busy, She's anxious and troubled by many things, Luke tells us. This is why reading the text is really important. She's anxious and troubled by many things. Her activity has begun to affect her interior life. The serving's not the problem. The problem is the serving that's begun to take over. She isn't just welcoming Jesus, She's worrying about welcoming Jesus correctly or with enough. And maybe that's something we do too. We can become so concerned about doing life well that we actually forget. To do and live life. We can become obsessed with getting everything right. The right career, The right house, The right family, The right spiritual practice, The right ministry, The right contribution. And underneath all that. . . There's a person who just wants to breathe, To be, To notice, To receive, To listen. Mary? Sits. At Jesus' feet. And Jesus says she's chosen to be. The better part. Now I don't think that means stop doing things. I think it means don't lose the thing. You're doing all those things for. And that's very different. Because I think the deepest desire. . . His presence. Maybe you don't really want to get more done. Maybe you want to be more alive while you're doing what you do. Maybe you don't actually want another achievement. Maybe you want to be able to enjoy the life that you've already been given. Maybe you don't want everyone to need you, But maybe you want to know that you're loved even when you're not useful. And this is where the story becomes part of of our exploration of desire, Because sometimes we have to become still enough to discover what we actually want. Silence is very uncomfortable, Sometimes precisely for this reason. When the noise stops, That's when desires start becoming audible. You might suddenly realize, I'm unhappy. I want something different. I'm tired. I want to create something. I want to leave. I want to stay. I want to be known. I want more space. I want to love differently. I want God. And sometimes we feel the silence again because we're not ready to hear the answers. Jesus doesn't seem frightened by what happens when we become quiet. I think he seems to invite it. Come. Sit. Listen. Stay. Pay attention. Maybe before we can answer the question, What do you want? We sometimes need to stop doing everything that prevents us. From hearing the answer. So I'd like to offer you a small experiment. At some point today. Create 10 minutes where you don't accomplish anything. Some of you already squirming. And I mean nothing. No phone, Podcast, Music, Reading, Planning, Fixing. Nothing. No work, Chores, Incidentals. Not thinking about the shopping list even. Just ten minutes. Sit somewhere, Go outside, Walk slowly. And the only thing I'm suggesting you hold in that space is, What do I want? And just notice what bubbles up when you hold the question. And maybe that's nothing and that's all right. Maybe you'll feel restless and that's worth noticing as well. Maybe you discover that you're just exhausted. Maybe you discover a desire that you've been ignoring. Maybe you discover that you actually don't know what you want, And all of those things are a beginning. Because sometimes the first honest answer is in fact, I don't know. And you know what? The more I get to know Jesus, The more I think Jesus can work with that. There's another thing that's worth noticing here too. Martha wants Mary to get up and help her. Mary wants to stay where she is. Jesus. Doesn't just give Martha another task, He redirects her attention completely. And maybe sometimes what we need isn't another thing to do. But to recover the thing. That matters most and all. Maybe that's what the one thing is. Not one more thing to put. On your list and squeeze into your day. But the ability to recognise what's most deeply important to you. What kind of a person do you want to become? What kind of life do you want to live? Who do you want to love? What do you want to give yourself to? What do you want your days to feel like? What do you want to make space for? Your calendar is often the most telling in regards to the truth about your desires. What receives your time? What receives your attention? What do you consistently make room for and what gets pushed aside? We can say, I want to pray, For instance, But our calendar says there's no space. And we can say, I want deeper relationships, But then our attention's somewhere else. And we can say, I want creativity, But we never make room to create. And then we say, I want a slower life, But then we keep packing as much into the available space as we can. Our lives reveal our priorities and sometimes they reveal desires we haven't consciously admitted. So listen. As you do this thinking task, Don't contemn yourself. Just become curious. What is all this activity serving? What are you hoping it'll give you? And if you stop for a moment, What might you discover underneath it? You'll discover that you've been working really hard to build a life you don't actually want. Maybe you'll discover that you've been living someone else's definition of success. Maybe you'll discover that the thing you most want is actually really simple. More time, More presence, More love, More freedom, More creativity. More connection, More God. More life. So we come back to the question. What do I want? And today, Maybe the way into that question is to become quiet enough to hear the answer, Still enough to let it surface. So as you go into your day, Think about what receives your time, Your energy, And your attention, And then ask, If I stop doing everything I think I'm supposed to do, What desire might finally have enough silence to speak? And when it speaks, Don't. . . Don't judge it straight away, Just listen to it. Because maybe somewhere beneath all the noise there's something your heart has been trying to tell you. What do you really want? And may grace, Peace and love hold you, As you do your best to hold that silence and stillness, Today and always. Until tomorrow, Friends. Bye for now.

Reviews

Thank you for choosing this story in our series. I love how Jesus has the final word here and later in the gospels we learn how Martha’s faith grew. Sometimes it’s easier to be busy, but it speaks to Jesus natural authority that Martha wanted him to correct the situation . It also speaks to his way of treating women and men equally and not expecting Mary to labor in the kitchen but also to listen to him. Thank you as always for your insights. sending love and blessings.🙏🩵

Encouraging and uncomfortably beautiful. Thank you 🙏🏻❤️🌻

Ahhh. You named it for me: the busyness keeps me from the silence that could tell me what I want. Time to be still now for 10 minutes! 💝☀️🙏

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thank you! These verses are saved in multiple places over many years…and my reflections are similar….more Mary and less Martha…while both are good, balance is better🙏🏻