Week 6 On The Series Of ACT Therapy - Committed Action

This is the final week in the series on ACT therapy. This week we look at taking action. Just staring at the compass pointing East is not really going to give you your best life! You have to get up and move in that direction, no matter how you feel! Let's look at this in a little more detail.

Transcript

Hello,

Thank you for joining me on this final week of this series on ACT Therapy.

Last week we looked at values and tried different exercises to discover what our values might be.

This week,

The last week in the series,

Is committed action or setting goals that come from your discovered values.

This week is fully in conjunction with last week's exercise,

But it's important to understand that all of this series is fully interdependent.

You need to practice them all alongside each other to achieve maximum benefits.

To be in the present moment would indeed be beneficial,

But to be in the present moment acknowledging what is there for you,

And accepting whatever that is,

Would give you more flexibility in your thoughts and emotions.

Because that struggle against the thoughts and feelings that are there is the thing that really gives us the pain and torment.

That is the quicksand.

Again,

The diffusion of thoughts is an excellent tool to reduce feelings of anxiety,

But without being aware and accepting what is there in that moment,

And recognizing that these are just thoughts.

They are not necessarily the truth,

And they are not actually me.

They are just thoughts.

It is not really possible to practice the diffusion of thoughts.

So you see,

They all work beautifully together.

What is beautiful about this therapy is that it doesn't focus on getting rid of any symptoms,

But often,

Wonderfully,

That is the byproduct of it.

If you go for any kind of counseling,

For example,

Then the aim would be to reduce your feelings of anxiety,

Or increase your self-esteem and confidence,

Whereas ACT doesn't do that.

It kind of says that you can have the life you require,

Even with the symptoms.

If you can just drop the struggle in that moment,

Remembering that you are not your thoughts,

And live a life of committed action coming from your values.

And so getting on with this stuff is the important bit in ACT.

And the other stuff,

The symptoms,

Well,

They often just kind of go on their own accord.

But that's not the aim.

The aim is to change your relationship with the symptoms.

So,

For example,

Anxiety.

Anxiety breeds anxiety.

You're feeling anxious about your workload.

You will start to feel anxious about your ability to do the work,

And then what your boss and colleagues think about you,

And then the journey to work,

And on and on it goes,

Until it can become so debilitating that you can't even go to work anymore.

But if we can recognize right at the beginning,

Hang on,

What's going on in my thoughts right now?

What's there for me?

And we give space for it.

Allow it to be there.

Be with it.

Accept it.

Stop fighting it.

And recognize that it's just a thought.

It's not me,

Because I am the one who is looking at the thoughts.

We can then start to play with them,

As we did in week one in the diffusion of thoughts.

We can change the font and the color.

We can say it out loud in a silly voice.

And realizing that these are just a bunch of images or words in my head.

They're not facts.

All these things are helping us to change the relationship with that initial thought before it gets a chance to breed,

And so stop us doing what we need to do.

To go to work and do our job.

It might be that the thought continues,

And so our committed action might be that we have to speak to our boss about the workload.

But the practice with thoughts continues.

So last week we looked at values.

What really matters to you?

And this week we are looking at action.

At actually doing the things that matter.

If your values are the direction,

Say you want to go east,

But all you do is stare at the east point on the compass,

It would be a bit pointless.

So then action is actually getting up and moving in that direction.

It's the doing part of doing what matters.

When we get caught up in our thoughts,

Then often our behaviors don't follow what really matters to us,

And our values can get neglected or abandoned.

Let's look at something that might help you in this.

I invite you to close your eyes if you wish,

And bring to mind something that is a problem for you.

It might be ill health.

It might be pain.

Problems with relationships.

Anxiety.

Depression.

Work issues.

Whatever it is for you,

Just bring it to mind now and think about what makes that a problem for you.

What thoughts do you have around this issue?

What worries or fears do you have?

Do you have self-criticisms around it?

Memories?

What thoughts do you get entangled in around this problem?

And what about emotions?

Do you struggle and try to avoid any feelings that are connected with this problem you have?

And what about actions?

Do you have energy draining actions around this issue?

What things do you do around this issue that keeps you stuck?

What do you do that wastes your time,

Your energy,

Your money?

What things do you do that impact on your health or that affect relationships negatively?

What things do you try to avoid or stay away from to avoid this problem?

People?

Places?

Have you quit anything to avoid this problem?

Have you withdrawn from anything or anyone?

Are you putting anything off to do with this problem?

What are you avoiding?

With any issue,

You will usually find that one or all of these areas,

The thoughts,

The emotions,

The energy draining actions or the avoidance techniques,

They significantly contribute to the problem and actually cause more suffering.

And now think about what you have done around this issue that has led to improvements in your life,

In your relationships,

In your health,

Physical or mental.

This exercise is just an examination of ourselves.

It's not to make us feel bad,

But to recognize how our actions can sometimes add to our suffering rather than help us feel better.

You might need to ask yourself,

Why do I get stuck in this problem?

Is it that you are scared of failing?

No,

That won't work.

Is it that you fear rejection or you fear making matters worse?

Or that you think you're not capable?

All these things are thoughts.

If any of these are true for you,

Then you are entangled and you are fused with your thoughts.

Maybe you can't face making the necessary changes.

Is this because the goal you have set to change this is too overwhelming?

Or is it that you are avoiding some kind of unpleasant feeling?

Now,

How about if you had unlimited self-confidence?

How would you deal with this situation differently?

Often our thoughts and emotions are out of our control.

They just appear and we're not aware of why or how they got there.

But what is in our control is our behaviors,

Our actions.

It is possible to act independently of our thoughts and feelings.

How many times have you woke up in the morning and just felt like turning over and going back to sleep,

But you've got up,

Got yourself ready and gone to work?

Or we really want to eat that whole packet of biscuits,

But then put them away after two or three.

You've probably done this.

You've also probably turned over and gone back to sleep occasionally or eaten the full packet of biscuits.

But this proves that we can behave and act differently to our thoughts and to our feelings.

It is possible.

It's not necessary to change our feelings and our thoughts before we do what is beneficial and life-giving.

And often we find that the change in the thoughts and feelings come after the action.

For example,

Exercising.

I really don't want to drag my mini trampoline out and bounce on it for half an hour.

I would much prefer to eat poached eggs on toast and watch morning TV.

But after I have done it,

I feel great.

I feel energized and healthy.

So then it's not about reaching some kind of feeling or state or being free from unpleasant feelings or discomfort before you do something.

It's about not being ruled by these thoughts and feelings,

But committing actions in line with my direction,

My East.

Actions that help me live a meaningful and full existence.

So thinking about what matters most to you.

What goal could you set towards your direction?

Make sure that the goal is manageable to you,

Taking into account any resources that you might need.

But notice if you dismiss anything because it might make you feel uncomfortable.

What needs to be done around your problem?

What could you do?

The Japanese psychologist Shoma Morita encouraged his patients to do what needed to be done,

No matter what they felt like.

He said,

If you felt depressed,

But there were dishes in the sink,

Go do the dishes.

If you felt really unwell and tired,

Get up and get dressed.

To always do what needs to be done to live a constructive life.

Listen to this quote from him and then spend the next few moments in silence.

Maybe you can think of where you procrastinate,

Where you give up to your feelings and quit,

And where you could start taking action and commit to doing what needs to be done,

No matter how you feel.

Give up on yourself.

Begin taking action now.

While being neurotic or imperfect or a procrastinator or unhealthy or lazy or any other label by which you inaccurately describe yourself.

Go ahead and be the best imperfect person you can be and get started on those things you want to accomplish.

So what do you need to do today?

No matter how you are feeling,

No matter what thoughts go through your head.

What do you tell yourself you can't do?

Next time you tell yourself that,

Can you change it to,

I want.

What I won't do.

Commit to yourself that you will do what needs to be done and not what your thoughts and feelings allow you to.

So this is the end of the series in acceptance and commitment therapy.

I hope you have enjoyed it and got something out of it.

Remember this is not about struggling with your thoughts.

It's the opposite.

It's acknowledging what's there,

Giving up the fight with them.

Asking is this in line with my direction and being honest in your evaluation of yourself.

Am I fused with these thoughts?

Are they stopping me going in my direction?

Are they stopping me living my best life?

And then looking at what you can do towards that best life,

Even with the feelings,

Even in spite of them.

I would encourage you to take some time to jot down a few goals.

It could be to do with the issue you were thought about today or it could be to do with life in general and commit to them.

Keep it where you can see it.

Remind yourself.

Set an alarm on your phone.

Commit to doing something that keeps you heading east towards your direction,

Towards your values,

To what matters to you.

Have this as your aim.

Not getting rid of symptoms,

Not struggling with thoughts,

Not fighting to feel better.

Just keep on doing what needs doing.

Thank you.

Reviews

ACT is really helping me daily. Mood struggles are very real. Your series has been helpful. Thank you.

Really fantastic course, i really appreciate the reminder that our thoughts and feelings are not always something we create—they come and go despite what we do. We get to choose what we identify with and how we show up every day. 🙏 really appreciate what I learned here.

This is going to be my go to session for a while. I think I may need to relisten to this one several more times as I'm one of those people that is prone to acting based on how I feel. It has not served me well and it's only getting more complicated. I have appreciate this whole course and found the material invaluable Mandy! Ty for creating this content.🪷

Thank you for this awesome series!
I will go back to it as a reminder and explore the rest of your material. All the best!😀

Mandy, I would like to thank you from my heart and soul for this series. Hope you will make more! 🌱

Good series. Thank you🙏🏼

This is the most useful track I’ve listened to here on IT. Thank you Mandy! You’re approach and style is Brilliant! 💫💞✨