The art of non-striving is a foundational theme in mindfulness,
A simple concept,
But this can be very difficult.
It is about not trying to get anywhere else,
Not trying to experience a different or a special state,
Just being with life unfolding just as it is,
Getting rid of agendas and allowing things to be as they are.
For example,
Within meditation we might want to get to a relaxation state and a still mind,
But we find ourselves not able to settle in a busy mind that's full of chatter.
We want a day full of peace and joy,
But we might find that things go wrong and we have crosswords with someone.
We have expectations and desires for how we want things to be,
But when we don't get the desired outcome,
We become frustrated,
Disappointed and disillusioned.
If we can recognise that finding peace is not having an absence of certain things we don't like and don't want in our lives,
For example the busy mind in meditation,
But it is in the relationship to that busy mind.
If my relationship to the chattering thoughts is,
I don't like this,
I don't want it,
I'm not doing it properly,
Well then follows feelings of disappointment,
Frustration and right there is the dis-peace.
If however we allow the busy mind,
Welcome it even,
As part of our experience,
What is here for me right now,
And view it with curiosity and kindness rather than anger and annoyance.
If we allow and accept them to be there without trying to change anything at all,
Then there is the peace.
I don't have any frustrations or disappointments,
I am at peace because I have accepted my experience exactly as it is.
Rumi expresses it in his poem The Guest House perfectly.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival,
A joy,
A depression,
A meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all,
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.
Still,
Treat each guest honourably,
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought,
The shame,
The malice,
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
That for me encapsulates non-striving,
Being able to welcome sorrows or depression,
To accept meanness in oneself alongside joy and malice.
I have an image of a neighbour stood at the door offering friendliness,
Affection,
Inviting,
Hospitality and love.
The alternative to that is a hostile neighbour,
Unfriendly,
Inhospitable and chilly.
Do you think that neighbour has peace and joy in his heart?
Let's try this together.
I invite you to close your eyes,
Allow your body to soften and bring your attention to the breath.
Don't change it,
Just notice where it is for you right now.
Where is it most noticeable?
The nostrils,
The chest and the ribs,
The stomach?
Just watch it.
Is it possible for you to watch and listen to the breath without changing it,
Without trying to slow it down,
Without deepening it?
Is it possible for you to allow any sounds from inside or outside of your room to come to you without deciding you like or don't like them,
Without wishing them away or hoping they stay?
Can you notice anything in your body right now?
You might normally decide that this is unwanted such as tension or pain or discomfort somewhere.
Is it possible for you to just observe it just as a physical sensation?
Can you allow it to be there?
Is it possible to accept it as part of your experience right now?
Take your attention to the thoughts now.
Quietly observe what is there.
Is it possible for you to merely see what is there?
To watch with a curiosity?
To look at them with kindness,
Accepting whatever arises,
Allowing this as part of being human?
Is it possible for you to now sit in silence and allow whatever arises for you,
Any sound,
Any physical sensation,
Whether that's an itch or a pain,
Any thought,
Any busyness or quiet,
Upset or calm,
All of it.
Can you accept this as part of your present moment experience?
Don't change any of it.
Just be whatever is here for you right now.
Welcome it.
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This is a poem by Dana Foulds called Allow.
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt or containing a tornado.
Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.
Resist and the tide will sweep you off your feet.
Allow and grace will carry you to higher ground.
The only safety lies in letting it all in.
The wild and the weak.
Fear,
Fantasies,
Failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of the heart or sadness avails your vision with despair.
Practice becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your known way of being.
The whole world is revealed to your new eyes.
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