Many of us are going to be earning less money than we're used to over the coming weeks or months.
We don't know how long.
I know that myself and others who I've been in contact with have had their work affected in some way by present circumstances.
How can we be happy regardless of these changes?
Well,
It's really quite simple.
We might not be able to afford some of the things that we're used to.
For example,
I have some delicious fresh coffee here,
Which I'm quite fond of.
And I may have to start drinking instant coffee.
My enjoyment of the fresh coffee doesn't have to mean that I experience frustration or upset or loss or grief when I don't have it.
And this may seem like something of a mundane example,
And it is,
But the mechanics in the mind are going to be the same regardless of what it is that we're each having to do without.
If my happiness were dependent upon the circumstance of my having fresh coffee,
Then I may become distressed if I don't have it.
But you see,
The coffee itself has no power to make me happy,
And neither does it have the power in its absence to make me unhappy.
Only I have the power to make myself happy or unhappy.
This may sound unusual.
This is not the way that we're taught to think,
But we can see very simply and easily that it's true in the fact that many people hate fresh coffee.
Many people hate coffee altogether.
Probably the majority of us here in Bristol enjoy coffee,
But I have met people who just don't like coffee.
Crazy,
I know.
What that means is that it's not the coffee that makes me happy or unhappy,
It's my feelings about the coffee.
And if I can learn to work with those feelings directly,
Then I can divest the coffee of its power.
I can make sure that I'm okay regardless of whether or not I have my favourite coffee.
It doesn't mean I'm not going to go for my favourite coffee if it's there.
It doesn't mean that if I have the opportunity to have some fresh coffee that I'm not going to take it.
It just means that I'm okay if I don't have it.
And given that we all may be facing the reality of not having some of the things that we're used to and that we like,
It's a really good idea for us to practice working with the mechanics of the mind in such a way that we can deal with liking and disliking,
Or wanting and not wanting.
We might say desire and aversion directly.
We want to be able to work with these things directly so that we're happy without the things that we usually take to make us happy.
And to do this,
It's the same practice.
We use the breath,
As I described in yesterday's video,
As a tool for training the mind to think in the way that we want it to.
We learn to direct the mind so that when disappointment,
For example,
Comes up over the fact that I might not have my favourite coffee,
I can work with that disappointment directly.
Say,
Hey,
Mr Disappointment,
I see you.
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Out you go,
Out you go.
We shoo that disappointment out of the mind like a dog with muddy paws.
And what this does is it turns the whole thing into a game.
First of all,
It breaks my identification with that feeling of disappointment.
Now it's object,
It's no longer me.
I'm the subject viewing that feeling of disappointment.
And it's something that I can either continue with or I can do away with.
I do not have to be disappointed in that moment.
Another way that we can work with this is we can work with enjoyment around what we do have.
So if I decide that I'm going to pull my belt strap in and drink instant coffee,
There's probably something about drinking instant coffee that's enjoyable.
If there was nothing about it that was enjoyable,
Well,
I wouldn't buy the instant coffee.
I would just drink water.
So in making that choice,
I might be downgrading from my fresh coffee to my instant coffee.
But there's likely to be something that I like about the instant coffee,
Even if it's not as good as what I'm used to.
And so I can just choose to put my attention on what I like about the instant coffee rather than being in comparison.
Many of you may have heard the saying comparison is the thief of joy.
And this is so true if as I'm drinking my instant coffee,
I'm comparing it to my fresh coffee or my instant coffee is going to taste like ass.
But if instead I'm putting my attention on the good qualities of my instant coffee.
Yeah,
This coffee is just the right temperature.
I love the buzz that I get from this instant coffee.
Then I'm all good.
I'm just enjoying myself.
I'm just having a nice time.
And this falls into that broader category of being in the present moment,
Not thinking about the past or about the future,
Which is,
Again,
In the imagination,
The past and the future are figments of our imagination in any moment.
It's only the present moment that has any real qualities.
It's only the present moment that we're taking any sense data from.
In that moment,
There is no fresh coffee.
There's only my instant coffee.
So then as long as I'm in the present moment,
No comparison is possible.
And this is a good opportunity for me to talk about how actually anything can be your meditation object.
We talk about the breath because it's always around.
It's always here in the present moment.
That's wonderful.
Well,
In a moment where I have my instant coffee,
That's present,
Too.
And so I can use my instant coffee as the object of my mindfulness.
And as long as my attention is focused on my my instant coffee,
Then no comparison is possible.
And I won't be disappointed.
Now,
Thoughts may arise about my fresh coffee.
That's fine.
Again,
The strategy is off you go.
Shoo.
I've got no time for you,
Mr.
Disappointment.
I see you.
I know your game.
I'm going to do something else.
I'm going to bring my attention back to my instant coffee or back to my breath in the present moment.
If any of you try this practice and you'd like to share your results,
Please do get in touch.
I'd love to hear from any and all of you.
And personal guidance is available in the form of casual chats about the practice.
We can talk about what's going well for you,
What might be challenging for you.
And my hope is to help all of you through this interesting and challenging.
