Creating Inner Sanctuary — Keep Calm In The Crazy

Creating Inner Sanctuary — Keep Calm in the Crazy by Josh Reeves. Things can be crazy, but you don’t have to be. If things are crazy in your life, it does not mean it is a reflection of your consciousness. There are many techniques we can talk about when it comes to finding calm in the crazy. What fundamentally helps me is my fundamental belief about the spiritual side of life, and the real truth of my existence.

Transcript

How to Keep Calm in the Crazy – Creating Inner Sanctuary So a few weeks back I had a beautiful moment of grace on a crazy freaking day.

Have you ever had a moment of grace on a crazy freaking day?

My wife was ill so it was on me to watch the baby,

To embark on the seeming hour long journey to get our teenager out of bed,

And to help run my organization.

My daughter is running around,

My teenager is not quite asleep or awake but propped up in front of a zoom screen.

I'm on pretty important conference calls wearing butterfly wings and a tutu on my head and I'm stressed.

You know there is that sound of breaking glass,

That feeling of glass breaking,

That's what it feels like.

And this song comes on as my little girl is dancing.

And it's called You and Me by Tom Petty.

It says,

Take a look at what I got,

I can't promise you a lot,

But you and me in the road ahead,

Wherever that wind might blow,

Wherever that river rolls,

You know I will go with you,

Just you and me in the road ahead.

And my daughter kind of pauses and she holds out her little arms and hands and I take them.

And we have our first slow daddy-daughter dance.

And I get to look into her eyes as she looks into mine.

And here in the middle of this crazy freaking day is that moment of grace.

Tears well up in my eyes and I'm just so grateful.

It's reminiscent of one of my favorite things Howard Thurman ever wrote.

He said,

Whatever may be the tensions and the stresses of a particular day,

There is always lurking close at hand the trailing beauty of forgotten joy or unremembered peace.

And there are many techniques we can talk about when it comes to finding calm in the crazy.

Deep breathing,

Giving thanks for the little things,

Taking a time out.

Isn't it interesting that the thing our children fear the most is the thing we most long for?

There's this Daniel Tiger mantra that I try to follow.

Give a squeeze nice and slow,

Take a deep breath,

Let it go.

I tried it and it just doesn't work for me so well.

What fundamentally does help is my belief about the spiritual side of life and the real truth of my existence.

That there is such a thing as an undisturbable calm,

An undistractable peace,

An unshakable love.

You can call this God or whatever you wish,

But it's real life.

It's that thing I can hang onto in a drama,

And the more I build what I'm calling my own inner sanctuary,

My own sense of inner connection with the capital T truth,

The greater my ability to stay calm in the crazy.

Now that dance with my daughter,

She made that happen.

But part of the beauty of that moment for me was that I could have so easily missed it.

I mean,

How often does stress blind you from joy?

Does rushing cause you to deny opportunities to rest?

Does anger inhibit your willingness to love the moment you are in and thus even the bastards in it?

It's untouchable by the world and yet when you tap into it and bring it into your world,

It touches it.

Now when we talk about this word sanctuary,

We usually think of a church or something like that,

Right?

It's a place where you can worship,

Spiritually connect,

Honor your inner light and inner life.

By inner sanctuary,

I mean that part of you that you can go to where you can absolutely be yourself,

Where there is no judgment,

And where your inner creativity,

Power,

And connection lie.

And we can talk about finding a sanctuary or being in a safe place,

But I tell you today,

It's more than a location.

You too can be a sanctuary.

A sanctuary for yourself.

A sanctuary for others.

A sanctuary for the spirit.

And you too can be a safe place for yourself,

For others,

For the spirit.

I have an affirmation I love and it goes like this,

I am a safe place.

I am sacred space.

Say it with me.

I am a safe place.

I am sacred space.

I am a safe place.

I am sacred space.

I am a safe place.

I am sacred space.

It's a sweet sounding affirmation,

But I love it because fundamentally,

This is what I want to be more than anything else in my life.

To be a safe place.

To be a sacred space.

For myself,

For everyone around me,

For the spirit within and all around.

I want to hear you without making it about me.

I want to be stressed but also never forget that the person in front of me is always more important than what I have to get done.

I will not get offended at your joke.

I will not let your politics steer me away from your character.

I am a safe place.

I am sacred space.

A colleague named David Bruner once said,

Things can go wrong,

But I can't go wrong.

I love that statement because to me it's a statement about composure.

Not that I don't get angry or asinine or any of that,

But no matter what goes wrong,

The number one thing I never want to lose is my composure.

I remember many years ago now I was doing a wedding in what seemed to me the middle of nowhere in a place called Valley Center,

California.

And if you knew me,

You know I always drive humble vehicles.

I value character in a car more than reliability and so my clutch is going out and I literally roll into the sign of this weird mountain venue where this wedding is taking place.

I'm sweaty,

I'm embarrassed,

But I made it.

The wedding goes okay,

But the car is doomed.

I have to call my girlfriend,

Now wife at the time,

To come and pick me up.

And she drives the hour and 45 minutes to come get me.

And she pulls up and parks the car and I say goodbye to the folks at the wedding and I get into the car and her car won't start.

I can't believe it.

Things can go wrong,

But I can't go wrong.

And we call a tow truck for her car and I swear he gets her car all locked in on the bed and we get in the truck and his truck won't start.

Were we in the car-muted triangle?

But he gets it going and her car gets into the shop and I call my parents and they come and pick us up.

Whatever you do,

Don't turn the car off I tell them.

And it was a terrible awful day,

But we couldn't help but laugh on the way home.

There was a sweetness in not losing one's composure and remembering the most important things are one another.

I think there's things Inner Sanctuary helps us with.

It allows us to say yes to the following three questions.

Can I keep my composure no matter the challenge?

Can I remain my true self no matter the temptation to become my worst self?

Can I live in joy no matter what?

There are struggles and challenges and people I have learned that may change but won't because of me.

I pray for them and that's it,

But as Viktor Frankl once said,

When we are faced with an unchangeable challenge,

Our challenge is to then change ourselves.

When faced with possible Nazi occupation during World War II,

Winston Churchill and the British government famously prepared posters to be placed all over their country that said things like keep calm and carry on and your courage,

Your cheerfulness,

Your resolution will bring us victory.

Churchill and the British government weren't being naive.

They were alluding to what was most important about inner human character,

About resilience.

This saying has become a pop culture thing these days,

Keep calm and buy more shoes,

Keep calm and buy my record,

But there is wisdom here and our ability to get to that place of calm,

That place of inner sanctuary even in a crazy upside down world that is vital.

I want to touch upon staying centered in the crazy.

And it's the answer to this simple question,

How can I change myself when faced with a challenge I can't change?

The first thing is,

No matter how I am being victimized,

I will not be a victim.

Refuse to be a victim.

It sounds contradictory but it's not.

You can be victimized but decide not to be a victim.

When we see ourselves only as a victim,

We give up our power to change ourselves and the circumstance.

The second step is to try to get back to center,

Because the other side of the victim for me is the ogre.

I often want to make a smoothie in the morning only to find my son has used all the ice cubes.

A part of me wants to go into victim mode.

Poor me.

Another part of me wants to become an ogre.

If the victim is woe is me,

The ogre is woe is you.

I'm going to persecute this child.

You selfish,

Unthoughtful little brat.

And I'm not saying don't hold people accountable,

But this is a lot harder than please remember to fill up the ice trays.

And situations are like that too.

So how can I get to center?

One,

I'm going to remember the truth of who I am.

And I'm going to know I can keep my composure.

I'm going to know I can stay true to myself and in this case,

Their relationship.

I love my son,

And I'm going to choose to live in joy.

So I fill up each little square and I say I love you to my son.

I'm just prayerful about it.

And I fill up the extra trays so I know at least there will be a few cubes left.

I'm sorry when you are victimized,

But you're not a victim.

You have a right to be angry,

But you're not an ogre.

You are a safe place.

You are sacred space.

And to be centered doesn't mean you can't be upset or scared or unsure.

It just means you're close to your source.

You believe in your source.

You accept yourself as you are,

But you know that within you there is always more,

This inner sanctuary.

The last step is to take care of yourself.

Do something that connects you with a sense of the sacred,

Or just genuine care for your own being.

I love how Agent Dale Cooper shares it in the TV show Twin Peaks.

He says every day,

Once a day,

Give yourself a present.

Don't plan it.

Don't wait for it.

Just let it happen.

It could be a new shirt at the men's store,

A cat nap in your office chair,

Or two cups of good hot black coffee.

Like this.

Now I say do plan it,

And stay open to more.

But if you can do these three things when confronted with the crazy,

You may not change the crazy,

But you will find you are not crazy,

And your peace of mind and composure will make a big difference.

Reviews

Such a lovely meditation to gently get someone back in the right frame of mind

Thank you Rev Josh for this uplifting and helpful talk! Learning to stay calm in the chaos is an ongoing practice and one that can serve us well. Thank you again!

This is a great one to listen to daily! Thank you, Rev. Josh.