The Adult Chair Podcast: The Enlightened Empath With Sarah Weiss

Feeling drained or fatigued? Maybe you pick up on other people's emotions and can feel what they are feeling? This "phenomena" is not random, these are qualities of an empath. When we understand the qualities of being an empath, we can get healthy and live in the world with greater peace and better health. In today's show, Sarah Weiss shares incredible information about being an empath as well as the blessings and difficulties that come along with it. It was an awesome conversation, jam packed with invaluable information.

Transcript

Hello,

Everybody,

And welcome to the adult chair.

I am Michelle Schelfont.

I am thrilled as we have today a special,

Special guest and someone I've known for a few years now.

Her name is Sarah Weiss,

And we're going to be talking about empaths and what it's like to be an empath and how in the world can we survive the holidays if we are empaths.

So we're going to get to Sarah in one moment.

But for now,

You can find out more about the show at theadultchair.

Com.

You can subscribe for free by signing up for our mailing list or join the conversation on Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest.

And of course,

Make sure to join the conversation in the adult chair private group.

You know,

I love that group.

It's a fabulous group of like minded,

Supportive people.

All right,

One little tiny bit of information.

We have an adult chair workshop coming to Charlotte,

North Carolina,

January 26 and 27.

And you can find all about it on the website.

Go to theadultchair.

Com forward slash workshop and you will find what we're going to do every day price.

We've got hotel recommendations.

It's all right there.

And I just want to say a little tiny thing about this workshop.

I've had a lot of people ask me,

Do they have to participate?

Do they have to stand up in front of people and share their stories,

Etc?

Absolutely not.

You can come and not say a word the whole weekend or you can come and participate and be in front of people if you'd like.

You don't ever have to do anything though that makes you feel uncomfortable.

I just want to share that because lots of people have asked me that question.

So come join us.

If you want to learn more about the adult chair,

We do a lot of adult chair over the course of this weekend.

So it's January 26 and 27th,

Charlotte,

North Carolina.

We are going to talk today with Sarah Weiss.

She is a spiritual teacher,

Mystic and evolutionary catalyst.

I love that.

She is a medical intuitive and spiritual teacher and private practice in Northeast Ohio.

She is the director and creator of the Spirit Heal Institute for Intuition and Healing,

The Enlighten Empath Training Program,

And of the Light Journey Training.

Welcome Sarah Weiss.

Hello,

Michelle.

It's so nice to be with you again.

It's always a delight and thank you for all the great work that you're doing to help people on their path.

Thank you.

And same to you.

You're doing amazing work as well.

And yes,

I wish I could,

I'll have to put in the show notes when I had you on before.

I don't even remember.

Has it been two years?

I think it's been two years and we talked about grounding.

I know that and probably around the holidays because we always need to ground more during the holidays.

Really,

Really needing the grounding,

Really needing permission to give yourself time out,

To step back and collect yourself so that you don't end up doing stupid,

Awkward things that you'll regret later on.

It's really important to give yourself permission to have those little time outs,

I think.

I could not agree more.

I will put that show in the show notes so you guys can go listen again to the grounding podcast that Sarah and I did because it was amazing.

It's one that I still refer people to all the time.

If someone has a question about grounding,

I always say go listen to Sarah Weiss's podcast.

You're the master of grounding as far as I'm concerned.

Well,

I had to learn how to do it to survive,

Particularly as a real super sensitive empath.

I have always been extremely sensitive and in our culture,

We now have the language that describes a highly sensitive person that we've been having research done on that.

Students are recognizing that.

School systems are starting to recognize that.

The next,

I guess,

The extension on the spectrum of sensitive people would be recognizing empaths as a certain profile of sensitive people.

There's a difference between a highly sensitive person and an empath.

So please explain because I see that all over social media.

People say I'm an HSP,

Right?

Flash empath.

So they're thinking it's the same exact thing and you're saying no.

Well,

There can be a gradation in those two profiles,

But a highly sensitive person we would define as someone who is very sensitive to their environment,

To people,

To stimulation from all different directions that would be overwhelming their nervous system.

But the difference is an empath is working much more telepathically.

Their nervous system is geared a little differently from the highly sensitive person.

Here's the difference.

A highly sensitive person can say,

Oh,

Those fluorescent lights are bothering me or that person is annoying me with what they're thinking or how they're approaching me and what I feel around them.

The empath can be around someone and feel them as themselves.

So they don't have a separation between the person,

Let's say they're talking to and who they are.

So there's this internal telepathic communication as well as nervous system connection that goes on.

So the empath,

Instead of saying,

Oh,

That person is annoying,

Would feel that person as themselves and say to themselves,

Oh,

I must be very annoying.

So if someone outside of them is being annoying,

They think they're being annoying.

Right.

Oh,

Wow.

Okay.

Okay.

So there's no separation.

They don't have this separate identity that allows them to separate off and recognize someone as outside of themselves.

So I'm going to go off the deep end because I don't normally talk about this on my show,

But I know all of this stuff,

But I want to share it today.

Okay.

Go ahead.

I want to talk about this,

But explain to us what that energy field looks like of someone that's an empath.

Is it just blending with other people?

Explain what that would.

.

.

I'm very visual,

So can you tell me what that might look like?

Sure.

So my perspective on empaths,

Just backing up a tiny bit so that we can lead into that,

Is that empaths are the preview of the human being that we are evolving into.

Oh.

Yes.

And that's why I call my.

.

.

I'm going to think through that now.

I'm like getting.

.

.

I'll explain it.

I'll explain it.

That's why I called the program the Enlightened Empath Program.

Empaths come in with a realization of the unity of all beings.

It is fundamental to their being.

They know nothing else for sure except for that.

So my kids always get irritated with me if we're shopping or on an elevator.

I talk to everyone as if they're my best friend because there's no difference between them and me in the way I feel.

I mean,

Everyone to me is part of myself.

Oh,

I love that.

It's as if I'm pregnant with the whole world and they're all in my womb and they're all part of me.

And that's how an empath feels.

Okay.

So here's a question.

Aren't we born that way because the veil.

.

.

I'm going over deep in here.

Go ahead.

But the veil is not thick or come down yet.

When we're first born,

We do feel like we're part of this oneness energy.

Yes,

We do.

So would you say again that we're all empaths when we're born?

No.

Okay.

So it's different?

It is different.

So the empath comes in with this realization that they are in this unity field,

In the unified field.

But what they don't have is a unique sense of identity.

So they don't have a sense of self.

They don't have a sense of self except for the unified self.

Wow.

Okay.

So in a way,

They're already enlightened,

But they don't know how to navigate the world.

So imagine this.

You are an empath and you go to a party and you talk to one person.

And let's just say that person just broke up with their boyfriend and they have some sadness in their being and they're feeling a little dark and heavy.

The empath is going to feel that inside of themselves.

So they talk to that person for five minutes and all of a sudden they've taken on that sense of heaviness,

Of abandonment,

Despair.

Then they move on to the next person.

The next person's a happy person.

The next person's happy to be there at the party.

They had a great day at work.

Now the empath feels,

Oh,

I feel great.

This feels wonderful.

I feel great.

I feel great.

Before they were saying,

I feel heavy and depressed.

Now I'm feeling,

Oh,

I feel great.

Then they move on to someone who is,

Let's say,

Enjoying a piece of chocolate candy.

And the empath goes,

Oh,

You know what?

I would really,

Really love that chocolate.

I'm going to have a piece of that chocolate.

They don't know the difference between someone else enjoying that chocolate versus them desiring that chocolate or needing that chocolate or actually wanting that chocolate at that moment.

Wow.

Okay?

So for instance,

When my husband,

This happened like 25 years ago,

My husband was working at an ad agency and three days in the row,

I called up somewhere around 10 o'clock in the morning,

Kind of mid morning to check in with him.

And the assistant said,

Oh,

He just stepped out to the coffee machine,

The candy machines.

And the next day I came into the kitchen and I was going to call him from the kitchen.

I thought,

Hmm,

Maybe I want some coffee and maybe a little nibble of chocolate.

And I call up and the assistant goes,

Oh,

He just stepped out to the coffee and candy machine again.

And the third day I walked into the kitchen.

I wasn't even thinking of calling him.

And I said,

Oh,

You know what,

Maybe I want a little snack now.

And then a few minutes later I called and he answered the phone and he said,

Oh,

I just got a snack from the candy machine.

So I thought it was me.

Oh my God.

Wanting the snack.

And it wasn't.

It was him.

That's how fuzzy life becomes for an empath.

Wow.

And very different than from the HSP.

Right.

Highly sensitive person.

Right.

Okay.

So,

So is the highly sensitive person just more psychic,

Would you say,

Or reading people or?

I would say they're more bombarded on their nervous system from external stimuli.

They could be psychic intuitive or not.

And yet,

You know,

Something could be really irritating or difficult for their nervous system to process,

But they know it's outside of them.

Okay.

That's the difference.

That's the difference.

But they would also know and pick up on someone that's having,

Let's say,

Grief or anger or sadness.

They would also pick up on that,

But they know it's not theirs.

Right.

That's the difference.

Got it.

And that's a huge difference.

So,

When we talk about empaths in relationships or at work,

Oh my God,

You could be sitting in a meeting,

And this happens to me multiple times.

This has happened to me.

I've learned to ground it.

But I could be sitting there and I could verbalize what's in someone else's mind thinking it's my own idea,

Or I could blurt out something that shouldn't have been blurted out because I picked up the feeling from someone else.

Let's say someone was sitting there and thinking,

He's full of shit.

And you know,

I might blurt out something similar,

More appropriate,

But just because I was sitting next to that person and it came through me.

Wow.

And not being able to tell that it was that person's and not mine.

Wow.

Okay.

So,

The reason this is a preview of where humanity is going,

I believe that we are evolving to this unity consciousness where our minds and our feelings and even the experiences in our bodies are transparent.

They're more telepathic,

They're carried on the airwaves,

And you have the sense of oneness with other people.

But the part that's missing for the empath is the development of the individual boundary and self-identity.

So what happens is empaths end up being people pleasers.

They can end up being angry and disgruntled and depressed.

There's a general sense of loss of knowing what to do in the world because you're constantly being tossed around on the waves of everyone else's thoughts and feelings.

My mind is blown and I felt like I knew this so well.

And I feel like I do,

But the whole AHSP slash empath is really,

I had no idea it was so different.

There's a big difference.

In Judith Orloff's book,

And I don't know if Audible has this,

But it's called the Empath Survival Guide by Judith Orloff,

MD.

She's a psychiatrist who is an empath herself,

And she's written a great introduction to the description of an empath.

It would be a great book for people to read.

Okay.

But life gets very complicated in relationships because your nervous system is constantly being moved around in relationship to anyone around you.

And so even Judith Orloff in her book talks about how she can't even live in the same house with her boyfriend or husband.

Wow.

She has to live in a separate condo from whoever she's with,

If she's married to them or dating them or whatever.

She cannot even live with them because her nervous system gets so lost in the process of the relationship.

Wow.

So answer this.

How many of us are empaths?

Is it one in five,

One in three?

She says it's between 12 and 17% of the population.

So that would be one in six,

One in seven.

And that they're finding that the empath has a particular type of nervous system that is identifiable that you could almost say the nervous system is on the outside of their body more than on the inside of their body,

That it's highly reactive,

Just like the highly sensitive person to the environment.

So they have that type of nervous system,

But they also might have extra mirror motor neurons,

Which the mirror neurons are what allow you to see what another person is doing and learn from it.

So if you see another person doing something,

Your body has a sense of doing it.

It's downloaded into you.

And we have these physical neurons in,

I think it's the prefrontal cortex of our brain.

And empaths may have more of those,

I would suspect,

Than the average person.

And that that's one of the physiological processes working with empaths.

So what an empath has to learn how to do is develop their own personality.

One of the reasons they don't is because as very young children,

They are overwhelmed with whatever feelings and thoughts and sensations are going on in their environment.

And one of the things that can happen is the translation process from physical to emotional or mental to emotional may not be one to one.

So if someone is having,

Let's say your mother is having an emotional moment,

A child might feel it as an ache or pain or turn it into a cold or flu in their body.

So the mother's emotion might turn into something painful in their body.

Then the empath says,

Oh,

My knee hurts or I have this cold.

And then the mother takes the child to the doctor and the doctor says,

There's nothing wrong with her.

And the child's experience is discredited.

Although they know that they are experiencing this,

They might be labeled a hypochondriac after several episodes of this.

And they have no way of understanding that their mother's emotion translated into this physical process in their body.

Because of course,

The mother's not going to say anything about her emotional life to a two year old child.

And even if she did,

No one would be explaining to this child who's an empath that you're interpreting these energies of emotion as physical pain in your body.

And even if someone explains it,

How do you or someone that is an empath,

What do you do with all that information?

Like,

Okay,

That's what I'm doing.

But how can you even make it stop?

Right.

Okay,

So the first thing that an empath has to actually admit is that they could be being influenced in this way that is unconscious,

Subtle energy oriented,

That they have to loosen the grip on the belief of their own experience.

And when you ask someone to actually question their own experience of life,

That's a big deal.

I was just going to say that's huge.

That's huge.

It's like,

How do you change your lens of how you live in the world and your sense of self and life?

It's like,

What?

Right.

I know.

It's huge.

It's not an easy thing.

So the first thing is to actually understand this whole process of what an empath is going through and how you might have spent your entire life living out other people's thoughts and feelings and physical experiences.

Wow.

It can be devastating.

That's what I'm thinking.

Like,

Horrifying.

Like,

What are you talking about?

You know,

I just.

.

.

Yeah,

It's a lot different than having a father that thinks their son should be a doctor and the doctor wants to be,

You know,

A teacher.

That's one thing.

Yeah.

This is a whole different thing.

You really have believed that you lived out your life based on your own feelings and thoughts and you really haven't.

Not only that,

When you did as a young child know things that were different and even,

You know,

If you telepathically knew that someone was sad or that you could sense that they were ill and then you had a parent say to you,

You're nuts,

You're not.

.

.

You don't really know that.

How could you know that?

Right.

So in so many different ways,

An empathic child is dismissed and discredited that they no longer can trust their own true empathic experience.

And then they start developing these alternative personalities of the people pleaser or,

You know,

The agreeable person,

The person who defers to everyone else because they can't figure out what they really want.

And all of a sudden you have this person that ends up being so able to be controlled because they're so malleable that they lose all sense of self.

And then once they wake up to becoming an.

.

.

That they are an empath,

Then they have to go through their whole life.

And do kind of a life examination.

Like a review of.

.

.

Oh,

Yes.

Their whole life.

Oh my God.

Yes.

In order to reclaim themselves.

Wow.

And that's what we do in the enlightened empath program.

We systematically and gently go through this whole process of reclaiming who you truly are,

Which is an enlightened being who understands unity consciousness,

Who has to heal from these woundings,

But then start all over with developing who they really are.

And there really is someone in there.

Wow.

But they have to start with unity consciousness rather than individual consciousness.

They have to do it backwards.

Right.

From how we usually do this.

So their developmental process can go backwards,

Which is to me where the adult chair process is really,

Really helpful.

Well,

I'm wondering,

Just listening to you,

Again,

What a mind blow that would be for people.

And I wonder how many people that are thinking and maybe are codependent that are actually empaths.

Absolutely.

I would think it's 100%.

I can't even imagine if I am an empath,

I'm probably going to be codependent because I'm a people pleaser.

And I'm thinking about you before myself.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And that is very disempowering.

But their codependency doesn't necessarily stem from the same psychological reasons that another person might be codependent.

Their codependency stems from this very innocent place of feeling one with another person.

So if they're feeling another person's disappointment with themselves.

So I'm talking to someone,

Someone's judging me and not liking me.

So the empath goes,

Oh my God,

That person doesn't like me.

What's wrong with me?

Now I'm feeling like something's wrong with me because I've internalized their judgment.

And it gets very,

Very confusing going back and forth.

So then they learn because they can feel someone else's internal space,

They can anticipate and they can project what that person needs to stop judging them or to start liking them or to ease their pain.

And they're just constantly,

Like you said,

Focused on making everything pleasant in the interaction.

Yeah,

Because then their life is easier.

Right?

If I'm an empath,

I want everyone in the room to feel good,

Happy.

Yes.

If you're not happy,

I'm going to sink and fall into sadness or grief or anger,

Whatever it is.

Right.

So I teach at a local university and I was teaching in the business school.

I teach meditation and mindfulness.

And I was teaching in the business school and there was a young woman there who we had a side conversation about empaths.

And this was an adorable woman,

Beautiful,

Smart.

She's learning the world of business and wants to succeed in business.

And she had developed what she calls herself a perky cheerleader personality.

She was an empath from early on.

Her mother couldn't even take her to the grocery store when she was five years old because she would throw a tantrum because she was so overwhelmed by all the thoughts and feelings by everyone around her.

And so she figured out at a very young age that if she became this big,

Perky personality,

That she would fill up the space with her to protect herself from all the input that was coming from other people.

Wow.

And so she was really popular in school and fun to be with and a cheerleader and adorable.

And everything.

Well,

Here she is,

A junior in college and she's in a business training program and she's expected to act like an adult.

And perky no longer works.

And she was in crisis.

I'm sure.

Because perky was not going to get her through the internship that she was doing at a large corporation.

What a gift you were to be there with her during that time,

Right?

Before she started this internship.

Right.

Yeah,

We developed a really nice friendship and she was really interested and she really took all this material to heart.

And she really dove in and it was great because the people around her in the business school understood.

I talked to them.

They understood what was going on with her and everyone supported her and she really learned to bring through the dignified,

Intelligent being that she is underneath there.

And she was able to do it like within the next year it took her to find that place.

But when that alternate personality that you've developed doesn't work anymore for you.

But I just found it so interesting that she figured out at a young age that being this big personality protected her from all that input from other people.

I just thought it was a great example.

It's great.

I mean,

It's a great mask to wear in the world.

Right.

Yeah.

I'm going to fill up the room with this personality so that nobody else affects me.

Right.

Now,

The other thing that happens is some empaths will be really grumpy and poor me and they'll try to fill up with a personality that doesn't work so well and doesn't get them anywhere.

But at some point,

It's going to fall apart.

Whatever alternative way you've learned to be in the world,

At some point,

It's going to fall apart,

Whether it's sooner or later.

And thank God this empath material is starting to come through and be recognized.

I could not agree more.

Thank you for doing your work,

Sarah.

You're welcome.

I had to do it to survive.

Right?

Yeah.

What was it like for you then as an empath?

It was really difficult.

Other than drinking coffee and eating chocolate when you're husband.

Right.

Every time I want something to eat,

I have to check who else wants something to eat.

Honest to God.

But it was interesting because this aspect of consciousness that is the unity consciousness is something that spiritual people strive for.

Everyone else who's on the spiritual path,

They're looking to feel and experience and know this unity state.

Luckily,

I had a spiritual teacher that saw me in terms of my own unity spiritual state and was able to recognize and help me work this backwards.

He said to me one time,

He says,

You are the biggest doormat I have ever met.

Wow.

And he said,

In the spiritual world,

You are not expected to be a doormat.

You are expected to be strong,

Powerful,

Compassionate,

And have a strong influence,

A powerful influence in the world,

And also be able to access your unity state.

That's living in your adult chair,

Sarah.

You just explained it.

And so,

I met him when I was in my early 20s,

And he worked with me with meditation practices to help me develop this other aspect of my personality.

And it's really true in the spiritual world,

There's some illusion at times where people think that you're just supposed to be agreeable and not stand up for what you believe or try out your unique set of beliefs and gifts and talents or whatever you are as an individual being that you're just supposed to kind of live in this blob of unity consciousness.

Yeah,

Very,

Very.

Yeah,

Right.

I don't agree either.

Yeah.

Right.

And so,

That's not what the spiritual path is about.

And so,

He was very clear with that with me.

And he would set out,

Help me set goals for myself because,

For instance,

I always wanted to be an artist,

And I was actually thinking of going into pre-med.

And he said,

Well,

Which would be the more courageous path for you to take?

And I chose the artist.

That was the hardest path for me to take.

It would have been easy for me to go in pre-med.

Okay?

Really?

Okay.

Yes.

Okay.

And he would constantly challenge me to say,

What are you going to choose now?

Which is the most challenging for you to choose so that you can develop these qualities of concentration and strength and power to help develop who you truly are based on your soul imprint.

And so,

He was instrumental in helping me really move into life in a powerful way.

And he would not,

I mean,

Sometimes he would say,

You know,

I'd make my choice and he'd say,

Well,

Let me know when you get there.

And it might be like two years later.

I didn't even talk to him for two years because he didn't want to hear from me until I attained what I set out to attain.

Wow.

And so,

It was this focus.

And it's really interesting because in the spiritual literature,

They really do describe empaths because they talk about these unity states and the ability to access all the subtle realms which empaths come in with,

But other people don't.

And again,

We're working it backwards.

Right.

Okay?

And the other thing is that empaths can be really scary for other people.

How so?

Because they know exactly what you're feeling.

You cannot hide anything from them.

And they have to work off of total transparency.

If you're lying to an empath,

Forget it.

That is the worst thing that you can do.

They will dig and dig and dig until they get the truth or they will just leave.

Wow.

Because they know that something is out of whack and they can't leave it alone until they get to the truth.

Oh.

Wow.

So,

Yeah.

So it's not great for relationships until they learn how to manage understanding that not everyone wants to be as transparent and unified as they do.

So is it difficult to be in relationships with an empath,

Would you say?

Yes.

I would say empaths are extremely loving,

But they're constantly merging and hovering.

If they don't have control over their energy,

It's going to feel like you're constantly being hovered over or like someone's always looking over your shoulder.

Even when they're not thinking about you,

Their energy is extended out.

Because again,

They feel like you're in the womb of their being.

Okay,

Got it.

So it's hard to be in a relationship with an empath.

So is it hard for the person in relationship with the empath or the empath to have a relationship with people outside of both?

Both.

That's what I would think.

It's really challenging.

And so you can get someone who likes that,

Let's say,

Like a partner who likes being taken care of or feel like they're in the womb of someone else,

But it's not healthy for either one of them.

Well,

It's draining.

Can you talk about that a little bit?

I feel like I'm an empath,

But I also feel like I'm HSP,

So I don't know.

But I grew up exhausted.

I needed one to two naps a day my entire life until I was.

.

.

And actually,

Until I met a spiritual teacher in my 30s who taught me about grounding,

Who started talking about grounding.

And then I noticed I needed less naps.

Absolutely.

Talk about that a little bit.

What are the physical issues that an empath may have other than,

Of course,

A ton of fatigue,

But what else?

Right.

Well,

It's interesting because I'm going to bring it around from a different perspective now.

Most people do not know how to ground and organize their energy field.

Okay?

Yes.

So,

Most people are not trained to know how to work with their feelings and their thoughts and circulate them within their own energy system,

Within their own chakra system,

So that they're processed and can evolve and grow from understanding their own thoughts and feelings and even physical sensations.

So I want to start there because we have a culture that just sprays this stuff all over the place.

So even if you were an introvert who had some strong emotions or thoughts,

You're still not good or trained at processing those feelings and thoughts through your own chakra system,

Through your own consciousness.

It takes a lot.

That would be the adult who knows how to do that.

Exactly.

I 100% agree.

We don't know how to process our emotions.

We're not taught well how to do that,

If at all.

Right.

So if you picture that from an energy point of view,

It means that all this dark,

Shadowy heavy mucous energy is just being splayed out into our subtle energy environment.

Sometimes it's called the astral field.

And it's like living in Cleveland where I live,

Where it's cloudy every single day and there's no sunshine.

And it's like living in this dark cloud of energy that is very heavy and oppressive.

Now other people who are not empaths may not be as oppressed by that subtle energy,

The astral field,

As much as an empath.

Now an empath experiences that as complete oppression and exhaustion.

Interesting.

Okay.

So imagine you went out to coffee with your girlfriend.

She just found out her husband was having an affair.

She's crying.

She's upset.

She's depressed.

By the time you're done with that conversation,

You're exhausted.

Right?

That was me.

That was me.

100%.

Right.

And then feeling her emotions,

Which I didn't know way back when were her emotions.

And I remember coming home many times in instances like that thinking,

Why am I so sad?

Right.

I know.

I'm angry.

What happened?

Yeah.

Right.

So not only are empaths feeling this on a one-to-one basis,

But they're feeling the planetary astral field.

I was just going to say that,

Just the collective consciousness of what's going on,

Whether it be in our town that we live in or in the whole world,

I know with the elections,

I get more tired.

And whenever there's an election,

I find myself taking naps.

Right.

Because there's so much conflict in the world.

I'm like,

I don't know.

I'm just dizzy and tired all the time.

So more grounding and napping for me is what happens during big elections.

Absolutely.

And people can be weather empaths.

They can be animal empaths.

They can be nature empaths.

And I'm connected to earthquakes.

For some reason,

If there is an earthquake on the planet,

It sucks my energy.

And I have to go to sleep for two hours.

Wow.

And that's the thing I just want to point out.

So many times people are,

They'll say,

Oh,

There's something wrong with me.

I'm tired.

And because we are humans,

But with energy fields,

We really have to honor what there's so many other things going on in our world that most people don't know.

We have to honor the nap or whatever that we need and not make a big story around it.

And I'm going off on a tangent,

So I don't want to go there any further.

Well,

That's interesting because I just wrote a blog on that this morning.

Oh.

Honoring the nap.

Yeah,

We need to.

And people will say to me,

I'm sick.

I have a runny nose.

I don't know what's going on.

I'm like,

I think you're processing emotion because I can feel what's going on.

They're like,

What?

I'm like,

Yes.

So we need to really raise the awareness around naps,

Mucus.

Uh-huh.

Yes.

Diarrhea.

It's not that you're sick all the time.

It could just be a shift in the energy field or yucky emotions that are someone else's that are sitting in your energy field.

Absolutely.

I mean,

That is.

.

.

We need to show just on that,

Sarah.

Just an energy show.

Yes.

We can do that because that's the reality of how we are living.

And we believe it's our own fault or we are in control of what's happening to us,

But we may not be.

The only thing we have control of is grounding and clearing.

Right.

But we can't control all the other things that are happening on the planet.

And that is another thing that empaths do.

They end up being controllers.

Oh.

Just like you said.

I'm waiting for some gifts of the empath because.

.

.

Well,

The gift.

.

.

So heavy.

Right.

The gift.

.

.

Well,

That's the experience of the empath living.

But the gift of the empath,

Which is what I also help train,

Is that you can reach ecstatic states,

Feeling experiences deep,

Experiences of unity and light and frequency,

And you know what's behind the shadow of this world.

You know the reality.

And that's where the great mystics and where you have access to all this information,

Whether it's on the psychic realm or the intuitive realm,

Telepathic.

You have access to places more easily than anyone else does that are beyond our realm.

Wow.

And that's the beauty of it.

So my goal and the training is to help people.

.

.

Empaths keep that sensitivity,

Not sacrifice it,

While developing the unique expression of their being so that they have an interface with the world through which they can bring this ascended consciousness that is their natural birthright.

Okay.

I'm sure you made a lot of people feel better.

For publicity,

Like,

Oh my God,

I'm an empath.

I'm doomed.

But you're right.

How you just explained the gift is absolutely beautiful.

So it really is about healing the parts of ourselves.

And I want to talk just a little bit about the developmental stages of growth that you talked about being.

.

.

Well,

You and I were talking about it before.

Tell us a little bit about how we can apply the adult chair to the empath and the younger parts of us that do need to grow up,

If you could.

Sure.

So this would,

I guess we'd call it more like the healing of the empath.

Is that what you'd call this?

I would.

But I do talk to the group in terms of the child part of them that never got to grow up just because of how much they were dismissed as children and they had to compensate in ways that helped them survive.

And so we don't want to tear away the survival mechanisms without replacing them with something that is growing and vital and alive within them.

So the way I approach it is through working with energy and working with the chakras and learning how to ground and be connected with Mother Earth and Father Sky instead of the person across from you.

Ooh,

That's good,

Sarah.

I like that.

Okay.

So it's more of a vertical connect at first where if you connect with Mother Earth,

You feel like you're being held in the arms of her.

You feel connected to the whole cosmos through her.

You're connected to the compassion and you're being remothered from a cosmic mother rather than a biological mother that doesn't understand you.

And so there really is a remothering that occurs by connecting with the consciousness of Mother Earth or Gaia because her consciousness is truly what grows us.

So that energy that we feel when we're connected with the earth and with nature connects with the root chakra and the Kundalini in our root chakra.

The Kundalini is also known as the great mother.

That is feminine energy in the root chakra that is waiting to be awakened so that it can enlighten you.

But the Kundalini is not just about enlightenment.

The Kundalini is really about growing you as a full,

Integrated,

Multidimensional human being.

So what we do is we replace the biological mother in a way with the cosmic mother and we actually feel,

Experience the remothering in order to grow the true self.

And I know it sounds very esoteric,

But it's actually very practical.

It can be done with support.

It can really be done because the energy from the true mother,

The cosmic mother,

And the awakening of the Kundalini in a gentle way awakens the true self.

Now everyone else walking around is not walking around in their true self.

So the empath actually has a benefit in being able to sense these subtle energies and they actually can regrow themselves as if they were a seed planted in Mother Earth.

The same way a tree would grow or a flower would grow.

So it's a whole process of regrowing yourself from your true self without sacrificing that expansive unified field awareness.

It's a very nuanced process.

It is,

But I just want to encourage everybody to listen to your guided meditation because the way that you taught me grounding was different than any of my other spiritual teachers,

Honestly.

And I had the most profound grounding since learning it from you.

So everything that you're saying resonates with me because I've had many experiences with grounding.

But you ground in a different way.

You let that energy come up and meet your feet and come up through.

And I loved how you taught me grounding and that changed me.

So yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah,

I was taught that directly from Mother Earth when I was 19 years old.

That was never taught to me by a spiritual teacher.

Really?

No.

I was in art school and I went out to a park to do some photography and sketching.

And I got out of my car and I stepped from the concrete onto the grass and my feet got stuck to the ground,

Literally.

I couldn't move.

And all I felt was this sinking down into the earth and then I was talking directly with Mother Earth,

With Gaia.

And she explained to me that I was not abandoned.

I was not alone on this planet.

That she was here with me and that I was meant to be living within her heart and that that would support how I moved through the world.

And I was standing there probably for a half hour.

I couldn't even move my feet one inch.

And it was a very,

Very deep,

Profound experience,

So different because having been at empath and floating back and forth all around in my consciousness and never feeling stable or having something constant.

And in this moment,

You felt stable.

Stable,

Confident.

I realized that my confidence was going to be the result of living within her being,

With that awareness.

And I just want to interject.

Even if someone that's listening to this that's not an empath,

What you're talking about applies to everybody.

It's not just an empath,

I would say.

Is that true?

That's absolutely true.

Yeah.

So,

I mean,

The grounding,

The feeling connected,

The mothering,

The connecting to Mother Earth and God,

The Father.

It is something that everybody can benefit from and does benefit from.

And yes,

I just want to share that in case people are thinking,

Oh,

This is just for empaths.

No,

Everybody.

It's powerful.

And I just want to also share,

I found the other podcast,

It's episode 21 that you and I did,

And you walk through grounding.

It's called Grounding in the Energy of the Earth with Sarah Weiss.

It's number 21,

And I will add that to the show notes,

But everyone needs to go back and listen to that one,

Because you and I had a great conversation all around grounding.

And you did a meditation,

A grounding meditation on that podcast with us.

So,

For sure,

Everyone needs to go listen.

I imagine only had a little contact with some indigenous tribes,

And I could feel their sense of grounding was the same as what I experienced.

And I imagine that the people who are of the earth,

Who live very close to the earth,

Are living in this way.

And they're complete.

Yeah.

There's a very different feeling.

We don't feel complete.

There's always something that we need more of.

Right.

And we're looking outside of ourselves instead of just sitting and being and grounding and being connected to,

Really,

We don't even need,

You don't need money.

You don't need to travel.

You can sit and do this work that you're talking about.

You don't need anything to do this work.

You don't have to pay any money.

Just do it.

It's part of you.

Yeah.

I love that.

We're about at the end.

And I just want to ask you just a question.

What about the holidays?

So here we are in the middle of the holidays.

What if people feel like,

Oh,

My gosh,

I'm an empath or an HSB?

It doesn't matter.

But what do we do when we are feeling the energy of everybody else?

And it's difficult to be with people because we don't choose these people to be with around the holidays.

Uncle,

So and so and aunt,

So and so and cousins are there that we don't normally see that we may not want to typically be around.

So what do we do when we're in these big groups of people during the holidays?

Well,

First of all,

You learn how you learn how to ground starting in January so that next year during the holidays,

You know how to do this.

But the other thing is where we started at the beginning of this podcast that is you have to give your permission,

Yourself permission to have a timeout as often as you need.

That's really,

Really important.

Now,

What this comes down to is making some choices that may not be as much fun,

But actually help you in the long run,

Because you may as even as an empath,

You want to go see everyone and enjoy everyone.

But by the time you're done with that,

You're going to be so exhausted and sick that you're going to say,

Why did I do that?

And so I find that once I figured out just how empathic I was,

I made choices that probably reduce the number of things I do in a day by at least 70%.

Wow,

That's a lot.

I know.

I know.

And I realized that I needed less stimulation,

More time in nature,

More time to myself and that,

Whereas I was a very busy person before.

I just was out and about all the time and that wasn't serving me.

I was getting sick all the time.

I had sinus problems all the time.

I was exhausted.

And yet I still pushed through.

But at some point that just stops working for you.

Now,

Are all empaths also introverts?

Is that not true?

No,

No.

I would say I'm an outgoing empath,

Which is very difficult because I love being with people.

I love talking to people.

And yet I have to measure that.

I have to do it in measured amounts so that I come back to myself.

And it's even hard to come back to myself after all these 40 years of working with this,

45 years.

It still feels like a little bit of a squeaky hinge.

And I have to come back in and start nurturing my inner energy and my inner self because I like to be out and engaging.

But again,

As an adult,

You learn to do what's good for you,

What's best for you,

What's wisest for you.

And it's the child and adolescent who keep you going even when you shouldn't be.

Right.

It's to keep going,

Go,

Go,

Go,

Go.

You can do more.

Right.

Yes.

Right.

So I do know what it's like to be extroverted and need to measure that out in an adult way.

And at first,

If you're in your child or adolescent,

It feels like you start pouting.

Well,

I don't get to do as much as other people.

Right.

Their mother said they could do it.

Why can't,

Why won't you let me do it?

And so at first,

There's this little feeling,

Well,

Everyone else gets to do it,

But I don't.

But the payoff is that you get the richest,

Most beautiful inner life balanced with your outer life.

And I think that's the magic word is balance.

We have to find our own balance and what your balance looks like may not be mine or anyone else's on the planet.

And the only way to know that is to stay connected to yourself,

Live as much in your adult as possible,

Which by the way,

When we're there,

We're grounded.

So we know I need to pull back.

I need downtime.

I need people time.

I know for myself,

What term did you just say you were?

What kind of empath?

I'm extroverted.

I'm an extrovert.

See,

I wonder,

I thought forever that I was an introvert because I really love my downtime and I have to what I call my recharge and my cave.

I come home,

Like when my husband travels and my son is gone,

I'm in bliss.

But then after a day of that or two,

I'm like,

Okay,

Time to get out.

So a friend of mine said,

I don't think you're as much of an empath as you thought or an introvert.

I'm like,

Well,

Shoot,

Maybe because you really like to be around people.

But I said,

Yeah,

But I need my alone time.

She says,

I had to recharge.

But then you go back out and you really do enjoy people.

I'm like,

Gosh,

Maybe I'm not as much of an introvert as I thought.

Right.

I mean,

An introvert would really not,

I don't think they'd enjoy being out with people as much.

It'd be a little more scary for them or it would just not be as interesting for them.

I feel like I'm right in the middle.

I like the balance of it.

I love working by myself,

But then I love seeing my clients and it's back and forth.

Right.

I'm like that too,

I would say.

Yeah.

But I do need my recharge time for sure.

I need that alone time.

And that's the adult.

That is the adult that knows how to do that.

So there's no magic ingredient except to learn how to be in your adult and take care of yourself.

Exactly.

The way that is best for you.

And then if you overdo it,

You know what's going to happen.

That's all.

Right.

We wind up in bed or second.

Right.

And by the way,

I do,

You know,

There's a few modalities that are really good for empaths in terms of helping them keep their health and develop really good boundaries.

Acupuncture is one of them.

I find that acupuncture,

It's a consciousness modality.

In other words,

Acupuncture works.

.

.

.

.

.

Supplement and support you so that you're not extending more energy to take care of yourself,

But you're getting this influx of energy that opens up your system in the most intelligent and beautiful way.

It actually develops your consciousness so that you start developing your individuality.

You start growing yourself up.

It's not just a physical experience.

It's a total consciousness experience.

It makes sense because the empath needs a lot of help energetically speaking.

Right.

So I get it.

I get it.

Well,

There's the grounding,

Which is really an energy kind of tool that you would use as an empath.

Or acupuncture,

It's another energy-based tool because the empath needs help with their energy field.

Right.

Right.

That makes a lot of sense.

And it's really interesting when they work with the kidney meridians and the liver meridians and a lot of these hollow organ meridians are the ones that help,

The ones that drain us when we get the adrenal fatigue and we're exhausted and our gallbladder and liver are not digesting well and processing.

When those are taken care of and energized,

It's interesting that empaths will have better boundaries and better ability to separate out from the other person more easily.

That's incredible.

I didn't know that.

And it makes perfect sense to me now that you say it,

But I didn't know that.

It's really interesting.

So.

Please.

Well,

Thank you.

This was amazing.

I love you.

I love having you on.

Your wealth of information and I'm going to have you back sooner than later.

This was,

I mean,

I just looked at it.

Episode 21 had to be maybe three years ago.

It was a while ago for sure.

You've been busy for three years now.

Doing wonderful things.

Doing wonderful things.

Thank you.

So Sarah,

I'm sure there are people that want to reach you,

Get in touch with you and you're talking about this enlightened empath class that you have coming up.

So tell people,

How do we find you?

What do you have coming up?

Et cetera.

Well,

The enlightened empath training is a year long training that meets once a month for two hours on the phone.

So it's people from all over the world.

And there's a manual that goes with it and extra meditations that you practice during the month.

And there's an interactive conversation platform where people interact with each other between months.

And that program,

Believe it or not,

Really can take you from being a very unhappy,

Confused empath to someone who knows how to manage and ground their energy and start growing their being within a year.

So there will be another program starting in February of 2019.

And you can read about the program on my website.

The new dates are not up there yet.

They will be in the next week or so.

It's at spirithealonline.

Com.

And I think you have that up on the page maybe?

I will add that to the show notes.

Okay.

And also,

There's a whole bunch of free guided meditations that are on my website that you can access freely to download for yourself to practice with.

And there's four enlightened empath classes from two years ago that will give you an idea of how a class would go.

So there's four of those classes up there.

So you can get a sense of what it would be like to work in this way.

There's also free grounding videos that you can download.

I want you to download.

I want you to use the grounding videos,

I mean audios.

Do for sure.

Practice with that.

So there's a lot of media on the website that is free and accessible for you to use for your own growth.

You have got a lot of really great stuff on your website.

No doubt about it.

Yes.

And then I also have empath retreat every year.

We just finished it two weeks ago in Silver City,

New Mexico.

Oh.

Yeah.

That sounds lovely.

It was really,

Really powerful to have a group of empaths be able to be together and grow together in a community that felt safe and understood by each other.

Is that an annual workshop that you offer?

Yes.

And I'm going to offer it twice next year.

One will be in May and one will be in November in New Mexico.

We have a lovely,

Lovely lodge there.

I may come on that one.

And of course your annual Mount Shasta trip.

Yep.

We're setting the dates for that too now,

So avoid any fires next year.

So spiritheal.

Com,

S-P-I-R-I-T-H-E-A-L.

Com.

And that is where you will get all of this amazing,

Amazing information.

Thank you so much.

It was really delightful connecting with you again.

Yeah.

Sarah,

Thank you.

We all so appreciate you being on the show,

But also all the work,

The amazing,

Beautiful work that you're doing in our world.

So thank you for being such a bright light.

I really,

Really appreciate you.

Thank you.

Okay,

Everybody.

Well,

That is our show for today.

Thank you again,

Sarah.

This was amazing.

We have learned so much more about being empaths and if we are one and what we need to do about that and how to survive hopefully the holidays.

So thank you for everything.

And that's all I've got for you guys.

And don't forget,

Go to theadultchair.

Com forward slash workshop and learn more about the adult chair intensive.

I am viewing January 26th and 27th.

I will see you all next week seated firmly right here in the adult chair.

This podcast is sponsored by audible,

Get a free audio book download and a 30 day free trial at www.

Audibletrial.

Com forward slash the adult chair.

And the book that I'm recommending today is one that Sarah recommended,

Which is the empaths survival guide by Judith Orloff.

It's fantastic.

I love Dr.

Judith Orloff.

So go ahead and get that for free.

You know,

I love free.

It is on audible at audible.

Com forward slash the adult chair.

I know that you will enjoy this book,

So go ahead and get it.

You'll learn a lot more about being an empath.

Thanks everybody for listening.

I am Michelle Schellfant and I'll see you next week right here in the adult chair.

Reviews

Amazing information!!!! I'm so grateful I listened today and discovered so much more about why I am this way ❣️

Wow this indeed blew my mind at leats a few times and resonated with so many other avenues of investigation into my struggles in life. Thank you so much!

Very enlightening 🙏

Just finished listening to this after your codependency addiction podcast where I asked about how it relates to being an empath. The universe can and definitely does work in mysterious ways!!! This truly was ENLIGHTENING and has opened doors to many much needed resources. Can't thank you and Sarah enough 💕

Great info, always felt I leaned this way, but I try to ignore it so much. Going to her website to learn more bc I might just be sensitive, like she said. Thanks!
It stops for about a minute at the end of the podcast maybe when there's about eight minutes left

Thank you! Great insights :)

Loved, loved, loved this! Thank you so much. I’m an empath who married into a family with very little if any ability to empathize. This helps my understanding of the situation even more. Thank you.

Interesting talk which I could relate to, thank you.

Thank you as always Michelle and Sarah.

I will share this. Thank you!

Wonderfully helpful in understanding much of the confusion I experience regarding my emotions. Gives me something to delve into deeper this new year. Thank you so much. 🙏

Wow that really opened up some great new information for me , thank you Michelle 🙏🙏💜

Thank you for this really insightful podcast x

Wow wow wow! Thank you for giving me a better understanding of being an empath. ❤️❤️❤️