Healing Generational Limiting Beliefs With LaShonda Walker
In this Talk, LaShonda breaks down her process step-by-step so you can try this powerful work and begin writing a new story for yourself and your family today. Listen to discover: TAC Coach LaShonda Walker's "A New Life Story" process; Why your past determines your present; How to replace old stories and limiting beliefs with facts and truth; How to edit and rewrite your life story based on who you are today; 5 "W" questions to ask yourself when rewriting your story; Why doing your work transforms generations.
Transcript
Hello to all of my Insight Timer friends.
My name is Michele Chalfant and I'm delighted that you're here with me today.
Welcome to my latest talk.
And as always,
After the show,
I love to hear your comments.
So make sure you leave a comment so I know how you liked it.
We'll talk soon.
And here we go with the latest episode.
Hello everybody and welcome to the Adult Chair Podcast.
I am Michele Chalfant,
Happy to be here with you today.
Yes,
Indeed,
The holiday season is upon us,
Which is why I love having very,
Very special guests on to talk about things that can always help us,
Not only through the holidays,
But sometimes it's all year long or it's for the rest of your life,
Which is what we're going to be talking about today with LaShonda Walker.
She's on today and we're going to be talking about what's called a new life story process.
This helps you to guess what?
Get rid of,
Annihilate limiting beliefs that could be generational.
So we've got a really,
Really fascinating show for you guys.
I cannot wait for you to hear this because let me tell you what,
Every single human can relate to what LaShonda does.
You're going to want to hear this show.
So let me tell you,
Before we jump into the podcast,
A little bit more about LaShonda Walker.
With over two decades of distinguished service in both the military and federal service,
LaShonda Walker stands out as a seasoned communication expert in her role as a certified adult chair,
Life coach,
Parent educator,
And the host of the podcast,
A new life story,
Consciously uncovering your authentic self.
LaShonda extends her expertise to guide individuals on a journey of self discovery.
Her mission is clear.
It is to help heal generations.
One person at a time by uncovering false narratives,
Dismantling emotional barriers and breaking free from generational patterns,
Keeping them stuck in unhealthy cycles.
Welcome to the adult chair podcast,
LaShonda Walker.
Thank you,
Michelle.
It is so good to be here with you.
I am just honored to be a part of the show today and just to see your beautiful face.
I was saying the same thing for you.
I was like,
You look gorgeous.
What's going on here?
I,
What you always do.
Don't get me wrong.
No,
I get it.
Cause you know,
Some days,
Some days we showered and we glammed up today for the podcast.
So for those of those watching us on YouTube,
We have glammed up for you guys.
We're here.
Check us out.
And you got to check out LaShonda's background.
It looks really,
Really good.
I got to say.
Anyway.
All right.
So you have one of my adult chair coaches,
Which I love that you're doing this work.
It's transformational work.
I'd love to hear about this new life story.
Tell us about what you've got going on here.
Sure.
So a new life story really came about when I became familiar with the adult chair,
I'd tell you a little bit of background of how I found the adult chair.
That's kind of how I introduced people to it.
So I was a young mom and trying to figure out all the things,
Particularly around the area of raising children and discipline.
And I was having some challenges with my son and I was thinking to myself,
Okay,
I need some help with this kid.
So I just started,
You know,
Googling things and going on podcasts.
And I just typed in children,
Child.
And I came across the adult chair podcast and it was the episode on the child share.
And I was like,
Oh,
This might be it.
We're going to put them in a chair.
This is it.
Yes.
We are going to put him in a chair.
So I was at work and I was listening to the episode and I,
It hit me,
I said,
Oh my God,
This,
This has nothing to do with him.
This has everything to do with me.
And so of course,
Like so many people,
I became a huge fan of the podcast and I began using it to do my own work.
And that is how the new life story coaching came about because what I discovered in using the adult chair model is what I now do as a coach,
Which is,
It's a three-step process.
It is exploring your past.
That's the first thing we do when we're looking at things,
Because when you explore your past,
You're able to then heal your present.
So whatever's coming up in the present,
It didn't just happen.
It's been there.
It's like,
It's,
We talk in agriculture,
Seed,
Time,
And harvest,
A seed was planted.
If you waited some time,
Here's the harvest.
And then finally,
When you're healing your present,
It's to transform your path.
It's to transform your legacy rather.
So for me,
It started with my son thinking I was going to put him in a chair to discipline him.
And then I ended up.
You put yourself in a chair.
I put myself in a chair.
So that's just kind of a little bit of what I do.
And really how it works is when clients come and see me,
It doesn't matter what they come and see me for.
It could be something triggering them as simple as I am stressed out at work and I'm frustrated and I'm irritated.
So then we'll start looking at that.
Okay.
Well,
What is that coming up?
And then when we start,
We start doing the work and we kind of start unpacking things.
I'll ask them questions like,
You know,
Unwinding questions.
Okay.
Well,
What's this,
What's that.
And I'm finding with my clients that when things are coming up in their present,
It is connected to the past.
And as we begin to look at that,
We discover limiting beliefs that are there.
So for example,
I had a client that was really hitting a wall at work and she was just frustrated.
She was like,
I'm overwhelmed.
You know,
I'm always saying yes to things.
I'm never saying no,
I don't,
You know,
She's just the point where she was just done.
She was like,
I'm ready to quit.
So as we were doing some work around that,
She started just processing things.
I said,
Well,
Where did you learn this from?
Ooh,
Good question.
The concept of like overworking yourself.
Where did you,
Where did you see this at?
And so she thought about it a little bit.
And she was like,
I said,
Did you see,
Like,
Who did you get this from?
She was,
And then she said,
Oh,
It was my grandma.
Ooh.
I said,
Well,
Tell me more about that.
She was like,
My grandma was always doing,
She was always doing.
She never sat down.
She never rested.
She was just going,
Going,
Going.
And she just worked herself into the ground,
Like literally,
Like until she passed away,
She just worked herself.
And I said,
Well,
Is it possible that maybe grandma did that?
Because that's maybe what worked for grandma back then.
And she sat and she thought about it and she's like,
No,
Grandma didn't like it either.
Ooh.
And I was like,
Okay,
That's good stuff.
Okay.
So that's where we start.
We really start to,
We start at what is coming up today.
And then as we start doing our unwinding work,
What's coming up today,
When we start,
It's like a thread and you kind of pull that thread.
And as you pull the thread,
You start going back and you start going back and you realize,
Oh my God,
This isn't even my,
Cause that's the point she got to,
She was like,
This isn't even my stuff,
Right?
This isn't even mine.
And so from there,
We began to do,
We begin to do the healing work of,
Okay,
So let's look to see what is true for you today.
What is going to work for you?
That maybe wouldn't work for grandma,
But now you have the options and the opportunities to make it work for you.
If we set boundaries around it,
If we learn how to set boundaries,
Teaching you about your worth.
So that's a little bit of a,
Kind of an overview of how I use the model in when I'm working with clients and helping them to look for a new story for their life.
How transformational and empowering,
Like I'm listening to you,
I'm like,
Wow,
Cause I didn't know about this model prior to right this second,
Like,
I don't know the name of the podcast,
But your podcast,
This is incredible.
I love this work going after those limiting beliefs from generations past.
I mean,
Huge,
Huge stuff you're doing here.
This is great.
So would you be willing to maybe walk myself and the audience that's listening through this process,
Through this,
A new life story process so that maybe they can get a glimpse of something or maybe discover something that they are living with today,
Like a limiting belief,
Maybe from their past past.
So one of the things that I would start with,
Like,
Let's say,
Michelle,
If you had something coming up,
Like if you were to come into my office,
I would ask you,
Okay,
So what brings you in today?
What's going on?
What's happening?
Okay.
Oh,
Geez.
I didn't know it was going to be on the spot.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I love doing personal work.
So let's go.
Hold on.
Yeah.
Okay.
So.
Let's see.
How do I feel today?
Just in general,
Like what's coming up for me.
Yeah.
What's coming up.
Stepping into my power.
I'm doing,
I'm realizing I'm doing that more and more and more.
And I,
And I'm reaching,
I'm reaching like a comfort zone and then I push out a little bit and then I get more.
So it's like,
That is what I'm working on big time.
Yeah.
Really owning myself,
Stepping into fully who I am.
Okay.
So are you,
How do you feel about stepping into your power?
How is that feeling for you?
I'm going to say,
And it's an ongoing process.
I've been doing this for years,
But I'm going to say when we hit our edges of really claiming who we are fully and pushing on those edges.
Sometimes it's really uncomfortable.
It's uncomfortable.
It feels scary.
It feels,
Yeah,
It feels uncomfortable and actually scary.
Sometimes I find myself like,
Oh boy,
How old am I have to remind myself how old I am?
Because sometimes I'm like,
I should,
I feel like a little kid.
Cause it can be,
It's a,
It's a big deal.
You know,
The more that in here,
Here,
Here's what it's all about.
It's like,
I love what I do so much with this work.
I love everything that I put out in the world.
The more I put out,
Of course,
The more I'm seen,
The more I'm known.
Okay.
So wait,
I'm,
I feel like I'm having a session with you because I'm having awareness.
So the more I'm seen,
The more I'm known and I,
And it's like bigger and bigger and bigger,
Which I'm not driven by that,
But there's also this element of like,
Oof,
Sometimes I'm like,
Wait,
I got to do that now.
So it's like those edges,
Like we'll get up on a bigger stage because more people need to hear from you.
Someone told me to attend.
I've heard for a couple of years,
You need to get on the TED talk stage.
I'm like,
Like what?
Like scared.
That scares me.
But I also know it's needed because my mission is to help bring healing into this world.
So if that means I can reach more people,
That's what I want to do.
So yeah.
Does that answer your question?
Yeah,
That does answer my question.
And I would,
I would say to you,
There's a couple of things that came up and there was several times that you talked about this thing called the edge.
Yes.
And there's the edge.
There's the edge.
There's the edge.
So you keep pushing against these edges.
Right.
And then there was a moment when you're like,
Oh my God,
I feel like a little kid.
So,
And you talk about continuing to push yourself.
Was there a time in your life that you didn't push yourself?
Yes,
For sure.
For sure.
Tell me a little bit about that.
I find that I've done some,
Some reflection around this.
The times that I don't push myself would be the times that I feel like I'm a little kid,
Which is pretty rare these days.
But I know that when I was growing up,
I would like revert back to this younger version of myself.
If we're going to talk parts,
Parts work,
Which we do in the adult chair,
Sometimes I'm like,
Hold on.
And I'll even say to my husband,
Sometimes I'm like,
Hold on.
I feel like I'm five.
Let me grow up for a second.
Let me get in my adult chair.
And then I'll talk from that place.
Yeah.
Does that answer your question?
It does.
So when you were younger and you were kind of afraid to show up,
I usually ask this question.
When you were afraid to show up as a kid,
Who made you afraid?
Oh,
Probably my,
You know what,
As much as,
And this is a new discovery I've had just in the last few months with my dad.
As much as my dad loved and adored me unconditionally.
I don't feel like there was a protection from his brother,
The identical twin.
Not that anything that I can remember that happened other than verbal and emotional abuse towards my mom and towards other people in the family.
But I was in the crossfire of it as a little kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So your dad had a twin brother.
And so the twin brother was,
If I'm hearing you correctly,
More vocal dominant than your father was.
So rager,
Angry,
Alcoholic,
Probably narcissists.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So dad was more shrunk down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't protect anyone from him,
From his dad,
Because it was a twin.
He said he couldn't do it because it was a twin.
Because it was a twin.
So there,
So there in lies where the root of your fear of being seen begins.
It wasn't even yours.
Oh,
Interesting.
So it was,
It was my dad's really standing up and stepping up for what he believes in.
Your dad's.
So you saw that.
You saw that.
You sat in that energy.
Oh my God.
I'm having like a huge epiphany light bulb.
Like,
Like one of those emojis,
Like,
Yeah,
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ooh,
That's good.
Yeah.
That's usually,
That's what we do.
So you look at that and now you're at a place where you keep pushing against the edge because unconscious belief is there.
You've done a lot of work around it.
I know how to sit in your adult.
Now,
You know,
What's fact and truth.
So every time you push that edge,
That edge is letting go of dad's stuff.
Because it's not.
Whoa,
This is good.
It's not yours.
Oh my God.
I love this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you get to show up in your adult and now you are setting a different example for your children as what it looks like to not play small.
And even if you feel that sense of playing small,
You're showing your children push against the edge.
Oh,
I love this.
Oh my God.
This is phenomenal.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Thank you.
God.
All right.
Let's take the whole audience through it now.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do it.
That's freaking awesome.
I had no idea you're doing this work over there.
Good job.
Chair coach of mine.
Well,
I thank you.
I had a great teacher.
Well,
Thank you,
Baby.
This is freaking amazing.
I love it.
All right.
All right.
You guys,
I just did it on air.
Now it's all your turn.
You're ready.
Sure.
Let's go girl.
Let's walk the audience through this.
I love this process.
This is powerful.
Yes.
We don't realize how much we bring from our past.
There's,
There's a great statement that I love.
And it says that the body keeps the score in the tissues,
Right?
And so that's one of the things that I've learned in this journey of doing the work and especially using the adult chair model is when I go in and love the journaling exercises and the prompts,
When I start writing and you put that full body experience into it,
You start asking yourself these questions.
You start asking yourself these questions.
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How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
How did this,
And it can,
And sometimes I'm telling you one,
One session,
It will come up of,
I was arguing with my husband and,
And now I don't,
You know,
I don't want to speak to him.
And then the next session is,
Oh my gosh,
I took that writing assignment.
I went through the who,
What,
When,
Where,
Why,
How to realize that.
What I was going through had nothing to do with him.
It was something from my past came up.
Dang.
Okay.
So now we can go back and write the story.
And I love,
Because,
You know,
I'm a writer and I'm a journalist and I'm a journalist.
I'm a journalist.
I'm a journalist.
I'm a journalist.
I'm a journalist.
And my background is in communications and PR.
So I use this example with my clients all the time.
I said,
You know,
You go online and you read a news story,
Right?
So usually when you read a news story,
A breaking news story,
And it's online,
It'll be posted.
It'll have the headline.
It'll have the day it was posted in the time.
Right.
Right.
But over time,
You know,
An emergency or the story can get new information.
And so I tell my clients,
You know,
When you read a news story,
The new date and time for where the new information came online.
Is now at the top of the headline.
And I tell my clients,
It's the same thing with your life.
Sure.
Something happened to you in 1987,
1979,
1962.
But what do you know to be fact and truth?
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
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You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
You know,
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You know,
You know,
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5.0 (24)
Recent Reviews
Nikki
June 29, 2024
Excellent.
Bob
February 8, 2024
This was INCREDIBLY eye opening - how do I learn more or connect with the coach that did that exercise
Beverly
December 17, 2023
💜💜