529: Letting Go Of The “I’ve Got This” Mask | Laura Dionisio

In this episode, I’m joined by Laura Dionisio, one of our Certified Adult Chair Master Coaches, for a powerful and vulnerable conversation about what happens when we stop living from our protective masks and begin listening to what our body is trying to tell us. Laura shares her journey from an engineering, high-achieving mindset into a more heart-open life led from within. She talks about the “badass” or “I’ve got this” mask she wore for years, how it protected her inner child, and what it looked like to finally begin letting that mask go.

Transcript

You know, There's nothing that I like more than to hear when someone is sharing with me how they use the adult chair in their own life and how it has changed their life for the better. So I was chitchatting with one of my girls, One of my coaches, And she was sharing with me like how far she'd come and all this. I'm like, We need to record this. So I did just that and it's so beautiful. So this, I have a show today with Laura Dionisio, Who's one of my master coaches, And she was just talking about. Her process of really opening her heart and how do you feel your emotions and how she's gone from being an engineer to someone new today. So it's such a beautiful story. And when we were talking about it, I was like, We have to let others learn this. Like there's so much learning here in today's show. So enjoy the show today. I have with the one and only Laura Dionisio. Here we go. Hello, Lordy Onisio. Remember I couldn't pronounce your name in the beginning? I was like, Laura, Blah blah blah. I still remember when you introduced me. You were like, Laura D, Damn it. Laura Dionisio. Now it's like, Hello. One of our beautiful, Incredible master coaches. She is here chatting with us today about her life, About how you plug in the adult chair into your life and actually change your life. You've had an incredible experience with this. And we were chatting earlier about how, You know, How you plug this in and what you've done in your life. And heart opening and everything starts changing. Anyway, We're going to talk about all of it. We're already sweating. It's been two minutes. So my darling, Tell everyone, Who are you? And yeah, Tell us just a little, Give us a cliff note version of who are you? How'd we meet? How'd you find the adult chair? I love that story too. Let's go there. Let's start at the very beginning. We'll start at the very beginning. So this was back in like 2018. And just to give context of who I was at the time, I had already been probably four years digging deep into like personal development things from a mind perspective, Because I am an engineer by trade. Training, You know, 18 years in the industry. And I got really drawn into things like Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Because they were systems. And I was a systems engineer. So I'm like, This makes sense from a head perspective. And a good friend of mine knew that I was really into this. And she said, Hey, Laura, I think you would love Michelle Chalfant, The adult chair model, Because I know you're into studying these frameworks. And I was like, Yeah, Okay, Send me like her name or whatnot. So Oh my god, This story. Keep in mind the kind of person I was at the time, Go-getter, Awards, Multiple awards, Bonuses, Like up there, Right? Functional team lead in multiple areas, Like multiple jobs in my career at that point. Okay, This was me. You know, The day before I listened to my first Michelle Chalfant podcast, I had gone to therapy for the first time. And I, I would say was like the first cracking of my heart, You know, And then the next morning, I decided it was a great idea to listen to a podcast where Michelle is coaching someone. I'm like, Oh, I'll just a therapy, You know, Like, Let me just extend my therapy session, My 10 minute commute in that 10 minute commute ended up crying. And I was just like, Oh! Oh, My God. All right. Okay. Like took five extra minutes to like get myself together before going to work. And from then on, I was hooked. I mean, Yes, The framework is simple. Like you have the child chair, The adolescent chair, The adult chair. And beyond that, I was like, If this woman, This Michelle Chalfant person can crack me open in 10 minutes, I think there's something here for me. Because at that point, I was ready. I mean, It took me years before I even said yes to therapy. Truly, I was just at a point where I was ready to crack my heart open. And this is why I was so inspired to message Michelle earlier this morning. I just went through her amazing three day metamorphosis event. And I feel like it was the final cracking. Of my heart. So I don't know if you want me to go there, Michelle, Or if you wanted me. Whatever you want to say, Go girl. And it's not the final cracking of your heart, But we can pretend it is. True. It let me rephrase it. It's almost like. That moment in 2018 there was a particular like yeah there was a particular part of my heart that I wanted to I was scared to but I wanted to crack because it it's been like I've been carrying around the cement suitcase it was a particular traumatic event that happened that I can talk through here if it like is helpful for the listeners. But what happened in this three-day event, Especially, Oh my gosh, Dr. Liz Berkholder. I think you've had her on the podcast as well, Right? Yeah. Amazing. What I realized and what really came to me through the three day event is that I had done a lot of healing over the past like almost 10 years. And there was a particular incident that happened in my childhood that And this is the part that like really got to me. Talking through the lens of the adult share. Me seated in my adult chair, I knew there was some healing that needed to happen. And I knew that my adolescent chair parts had to come online during that time and even years afterwards to protect me. What I hadn't realized until this weekend, And it really breaks my heart, Is that yes, Those adolescent parts were like this. If you could see me on YouTube, Like protecting like the child part that felt afraid, That felt unsafe, That felt so sad and heartbroken. And the part I didn't realize was that those adolescent parts were also shoving that inner child down out of shame. Like it's your fault that you were helpless. It was your fault that you were attacked, That it's your fault that your life didn't turn out the way that you were hoping for. Through that breathwork session, I felt all of these parts and my adult higher self-energy. Let the adolescent part speak, But I also saw past that. It was a mask. Like that shame, You know, It was still like an ownership of an event that really had nothing to do with me and wasn't my fault because that was the only way I understood I couldn't understand. Why this person that I trusted had done what he did. And so through this confusion. The younger parts of me shoved down my true emotions of like sadness, Of heartbreak, Of just like, I just want to be loved. And so that's why I was showing up in the world. As very tough, Like very badass, You know. And even this weekend I told one of the people at your event, I just decided I'm going to let go of the mask of badass because I want that to be a result of who I am, Not a goal. That used to be a goal. That used to be if I'm badass enough, If I'm fierce enough, No one will mess with me. It was a protective thing. And now it's like. I don't want to do that anymore. Mm-hmm. That wild. Yep. Isn't that wild? And when we start recognizing these parts and it's almost as though, And yes, You did, You have done incredible work over the years and especially over the last three days we did metamorphosis, But we just start to grow up and outgrow these masks that we think we need to wear to keep us safe in the world. And yeah, That's so beautifully said. I love that. And when you talked about opening your heart, It's not to say, I don't want to correct you. Like, No, You're not done. Although we'd like to be done, Right? No, For now. It's a life journey. I mean, It was what I meant to say. And that is, You know, We're going to keep working on opening, Opening everything, Not just the heart. Honestly, It's like opening everything. Opening our mind, Opening the heart, Getting more in touch with the child, Everything in us starts opening. We stop feeling like we have to close off and protect so much. That's what I mean. So it's a beautiful process that we go through. And I have watched you since 2008, 19, 20, Go through this and it's been, Wow. Like it brought me to tears. I was like, Wow, Look at this girl go, Babe. Like you've done an incredible job of plugging into this and it's not fun. It's not easy. Then again, Or is it? And this is something else that I shared in the voice note to you, Like, Because I knew that Dr. Liz Burkholder was going to be there and I had done at least two of her sessions before, I was like, Oh, No, You know. And so I was a little bit afraid of what the intensity, Because it's she's so powerful in her own right that I know the experience is going to be intense because, Of course, Like there's a part of me that really wants it. Right. Yeah, Of course. And what I experienced was, Yes, It was every bit as intense as I thought it was going to be, More so than the other times. Yeah, And unlike the other times I was fully in surrender, Which is interesting because the other two times I was it was via zoom So I could turn off my camera, But that actually doesn't matter because even with the camera off There was still a part of me that was like don't let anyone even though no one was watching Don't let it out. Don't cry fully don't scream don't whatever and for the first time this weekend. I just let it out I mean Michelle you saw me I was like sobbing and I just did not care anymore because you The adolescent part that was like, Feeling shame for Oh, No, Don't let anyone see you this way. Because honestly, You might get attacked. It's not safe. The adult me was just like hugging that part hugging the child part that was like, I just I just want to be me because this is what you said Michelle I am just like a giant ball of love that wants to love everyone but I it didn't feel safe and at the time it really wasn't for me to show that but now with all this work that I've done to date and I know it's going to keep on going. I feel safe because I know that no matter what, I've got me. It doesn't mean that I'm going to be walking out like, Yay, Come get me. It's more that I trust myself. I don't have to proactively wall up. I trust my discernment now. I trust when to walk away. I trust that I will fight if I have to. But my default is no longer I will fight everyone and everything that comes near me. Mm hmm. Oh, I love that. You know, I think about something we drive home just if you follow anything to do with the adult chair. But of course, We do a lot in the live events, The membership, The coaching and all the things. And even if you listen to the podcast, What we want to do to start working with these masks, These parts of self that have been Thank you. Protector parts that are really scared honestly underneath is turned toward them our shame that we avoid I said it's like a fire burning, You know in the middle of the family room and we're kind of running around it Stop running around it. You actually have to walk through it and what I mean by that is you walk into what scares you walk into the shame the unworthiness the I hate myself the I don't matter whatever the heck it is Let it burn. You can't let it burn and transform unless you go into it And most of us, We avoid it. And we have all these masks and we find vices to numb it out. And what you've been doing so well, Which is why I said, We got to talk about this. Like come on the podcast with me is. When you go into it, Does it feel uncomfortable? Yeah, But it's temporary. It's not like you're carrying around for a year now that you stepped into this pain, This whatever, You don't carry it with you. Talk about how it actually does move through you. I always talk about how emotions are energy, Beliefs are energy, And if you're willing to look at them and get into them, They metabolize through you like food. So talk about your experience with that. Yeah, I'll start with what it felt like this weekend specifically because it was the first time I could like really feel it physically move through me. This weekend was the first time that I not only connected to where it lived in my body like these masks, But I because I was so connected to myself and I was so deeply seated seated in my adult chair. I knew that I needed to get up and like physically. Shake it off. But for your listeners who maybe aren't at that point just yet where they're not that connected to their body because maybe didn't feel safe. And, You know, When I first met Michelle, It didn't feel safe to connect in my body. I just and this is what I was telling you, Michelle, Like the adultery out of all the different frameworks and modalities that I've studied is the one I keep coming back to because of its simplicity. Because even if, You know, There's a lot of work out there that says, You know, Tune into your intuition, Listen to your body. I didn't know what that meant. I hear I could hear the words, But I was just I don't understand. In the beginning part of my journey though, What really helped me with the adult chair specifically is that the framework is so simple. That even my mind could understand. Could pay attention and be like, Oh, Which which thought is that from? Like, Which chair am I in? So the beginning part of my journey, I had to use my mind a lot because I didn't understand what the connection to the body meant. And so for any of your listeners who are in the same boat, That's what I did. I would just logically think, Okay, This thought, Is this a fact and truth? No, It's an assumption. And then from there I would, This is not going to surprise you, Michelle, I almost had like a list of questions, Like a flow chart. These are the things to ask. That's good, Though. That's OK. And here's the thing. This is what I tell my clients now, Too, By the way, Because I attract a lot of people who were like who were like me. I'm like, There's nothing wrong with that because they'd come to me and be like, Oh, I should know that. I'm like, Why should you know this? Who teaches us this? Hello. Yeah. You heard it for the first time. You think you're suddenly going to be an expert and like tuning into your body. Like I always say it as if your adolescent chair is so badly wanting to run the show. Sure. Let it just. It's kind of like you have like I have led a lot of teams, And I've facilitated a lot of meetings. It's almost like that over-enthusiastic teammate that keeps just chiming up, You know? And I literally imagine the adolescent part that's like, Oh, You want to create a spreadsheet that tells you these are the questions to ask? Go ahead. And the difference is, I am in my adult chair watching my adolescent part do it because what I didn't realize I was doing until afterwards is that while I was creating the spreadsheet, I do have this somewhere, I was actually tuning into my body at the same time. And over time, I started noticing Oh, There's like a like a pressure in my chest, Like and I'm going in like this when I am actually feeling afraid. And I noticed like I love your definition of anxiety, Which is the on what is a physical manifestation of unfelt emotions. And I notice I'm like, Oh, Physically, What it feels like is my heart's pounding. And I like my body starts to lean forward like this. And I'm like, Oh, Once I physically started noticing that my body tended to do this, I'm like, Oh, Whatever action I'm about to take, This is not coming from the adult chair. Ooh, Good for you. Love it. Yes. It took a while. So it took a while. But it started with me coming up with all these spreadsheets and flow charts and all that because I needed my adolescent chair to be given a job because otherwise it wouldn't be quiet. And that's OK, Too. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I'm a proud mama bear right now, Just saying. Yeah. And you know, So many people that I've talked to over the years, When we ask, Like, Oh, What I'll say, Like, Well, Where does that feel? Where do you feel that in your body? It's like, What? It's in my body, You know, And I'm laughing because that was me too way back when and it takes practice. So as someone that might be practicing feeling their emotions in their body, What's that like? What's a good process for that? What would you say to somebody that's learning this? And why should they, By the way? This is not only a podcast question. I'm testing you, Laura, As one of my coaches. You better get an A-plus on this, Honey. Now I'm really sweating and it's not just because I'm channeling now. Yeah. So let's talk about, You know, How do you do it and why do we care? Feel your emotions. Okay, So how do we do it? How I started, Because it just did not compute in my head, Like, What do you mean, Feel my emotions in my body? I remember my therapist would be like, Where does it live? I don't know, Man, You know? Above my eyebrows, Of course, In my head. Like, What do you mean, You know? The body scan was the, Like, My go-to tool for a long time. Like the, Literally, Like, Imagining you're in a CT scan, Or MRI, I think you would say. And I couldn't name the emotion at first, But I could tell things like, Oh, My jaw's clenched. Oh, My shoulders are hunched. Like, Oh, There's a tightness in my chest and my stomach and my throat. It took me some time before I could really connect with the emotions associated with and mostly because my head kept getting in the way. Go ahead. No, Keep going. How could this possibly be true? Like, What if it is? What could that mean? If it were beer. How would I face it? So that's how I kind of. Built confidence also in like the knowing. It's almost like you're linking. You know, I always say we got to live below the chin, Right? So it's like you're going from the head. And then almost like an energy link that goes from the head below. Oh, I'm feeling in my stomach. I'm feeling it over here. I'm feeling my heart's racing, Whatever it might be. I love the body scan, So do you want to explain to people what we mean by that when we talk about do a body scan? Is this another test, Michelle? No, Laura. I can explain it. I thought I'd let you take the show here. I'll explain because it is my favorite. It's such a great thing. And a lot of people don't know what that is. So people that are listening might say, I don't really know where to begin with feeling my emotions. And we all know. Feeling our emotions, That's something we've got. It's got to become a superpower if it's not already because the emotions guide us. That's where our intuition is. But more than anything, It's the navigation center for moving us forward, Taking a left turn or right turn, Getting married, Breaking up, Taking the job, Quitting the job, All the things. When we are connected to below the chin and allowing the body to navigate and pull us forward, Push us back, Whatever it might be, It's a game changer for how we live. So for someone that's new to all of this, Where would they be? Because verbally stating what the emotion is, Who cares? Can you notice where it is in your body? I mean, That's a great thing. If you can say, I'm sad, I'm angry, Great, But where do I begin? So tell us that. Actual MRI and it's like really loud. Yes. But I'm like a sci-fi nerd so I imagine like a ring of light like as if I'm being transported and I imagine it scanning very slowly from like my head My neck. Down my shoulder. And notice how I'm slowing down how I'm speaking even in my mind. I go that slow. Oh, Chest, Stomach, Legs, Knees, And I always remind myself, You may notice something, You may not, Either way it's perfect, Because that's always what you said. I'm not trying to change anything, We're just noticing. I'm so proud, I can't even tell you. And even when you, And this is so important what you said, Slowing down. And when you just slowed your voice down and the speed and got softer, I felt myself start to even regulate. I regulated, My nervous system was able to slow down with you and I was like, Oh, This feels really nice. And I almost want to start rocking. My nervous system was liking that. So when you do that, Woo, That helps you connect deeply, Deeply to yourself and to your emotions. So thank you, Laura. Yeah, You're welcome. And side note, I don't just use that, Like to feel my emotions. I use that because you know, I do weightlifting, Like I compete, I literally do that when I am about to be in competition, I'm about to compete. And I'll do things like if I have a song playing in my head, I'll have it playing, But then I imagine it slowing down. Like, You know, When it slows down to go like, Yeah. Yeah, So if that helps your listeners, It doesn't have to be exactly as we're describing here. I find that, Make it yours. Yeah. Make it fun. Always. That ring. You know, Maybe like it's a magic wand. I don't know. But make it simple, Easy and fun. Yes, Always make it your own. You know, You take the basic concept and just make it into whatever feels right for you. So, Okay. So let's see. So you started this journey, Feeling your emotions, Body scanning, Listening to the show, Move us forward now on the timeline from 2018 moving forward. Okay, I have to tell the story of how I quit corporate because this is why it's important to be able to feel your emotions. I would not have been able to make this decision this quickly if I didn't feel my emotions. So I'll take you to August 2025. And at this point, I had noticed that I was doing this thing called reverse bedtime procrastination. Do you know what that is? No, I've never heard of such a thing. As soon as I describe it, You're going to recognize it. It's basically when at the end of the night, You know, You're you should be going to bed. But what you do instead is you scroll on or you watch another Netflix show or you read a book because you haven't done enough during the day for you. Ooh. I love that. Okay. So I was doing that. For months. And then one day, I guess, August 13, I think I still remember, I was doing it so much. And for me, It's like reading a book. I was doing it so much that I looked out the window and the sun was coming up. And I was like, Oh. Oh, I can't ignore this anymore. And then I just felt so heavy. The idea of like, I was just like, Something's wrong. I can't ignore this anymore. At this point, I'd been like two or three months of me doing this. And so I'm like, OK, I'm going to, You know, You decide. Right. I'm like, I'm just going to go to sleep, Wake up at eight and see what I'm going to do. So I did that. Woke up at eight, Decided I still feel really crap, Really have physically heavy. Like I was being dragged down. And I was just like, I don't know what this is, But I know that I can't go to work right now. So messaged my manager, Messaged my team lead, Messaged my other teammates, Moved all my meetings and all that. As soon as I sent the last message of, Hey, I'm feeling sick, I'm not gonna, You know, I'm not gonna be in today, That weight physically, Like, Fell. Wow. I immediately felt energized, Didn't even need coffee, And I was like, Whoop, I was up, And immediate expansion of my heart, Immediate joy. And this is why it's so important to feel your emotions. Because because it helps you make decisions. So I felt this and I'm like, Oh, Oh. What's going on here? Like, Uh-oh. And thank God for the adult chair and doing this for many years at this point, I realize I'm like, Okay, I can't ignore what my body's telling me. If I'm this happy taking a day off, Something has to change. So that day was a Tuesday. I drafted my letter of resignation. And I thought about if I were, And here's another tip. I like to put a space between realization and action. And now sometimes that space can be small, But what I have found for myself and also for my clients, If you put a space between realization and action, It makes you less afraid to admit things to yourself. Because sometimes, Actually most times when I talk to my clients, They don't even want to admit the truth of what they're feeling because they're afraid they have to do something about it. And for me, It's like, What if you just put space in between? What if you admit it? And knowing your reality. Own your reality. Hiller number one in the adult chair book. Hello. Yeah. And it's exactly what you're saying. I love what you're saying. Keep going. And I'm listening to you. I'm like, Wait a minute. You're talking about owning your reality. 100 percent. That's it. And that was before I read your book. But no, But this is what I'm saying. It works. So keep talking about it. Everything changes when you own it. Yeah. Own your reality. Keep going. Yeah. So I own my reality that I was not happy anymore and I didn't make any decisions yet. I just said, I'm just going to draft this letter of resignation. And I let myself think about. What if I did, Though, Like what day? Because you have to put like a two week notice or whatever. So I thought about it. I'm like, Oh, What would it be? I'm just curious. I'm not committing to anything. And so I drafted the letter of resignation, Realized that if I were to do it for real, I would do it two days after that date. And so I typed it. And then the next day was Wednesday. It was a Tuesday. I took off that Wednesday. I'm like. I'm doing it. So I set up a calendar invitation with my manager for the next morning, Thursday. I said, Just to let you know, I'm going to put in my two-week notice formally, But I wanted to talk to you about it before I did. Hold on a second. So give me, Give us the timeline. So you pulled an all-nighter on whatever, On YouTube. Monday going into Tuesday. Okay. Tuesday, You write the letter. You don't turn it in. I don't turn it in. I took Tuesday, I took the day off, Right? You took the day off on Tuesday. You had this feeling, Though, That came over you that expanded you out, And you're like, Whoa. Okay, Keep going. Yep, I'm doing it. So I set up the calendar invitation for Thursday with my boss, Because that's when I was thinking, Oh, If I were to do it, This is what I would do. That Wednesday, I had the same responsibilities I had the past two months, But suddenly I was lit up and happy and joyful. Was I scared? Hell, Yes. This is not what I had planned. This is not what I had planned. But I couldn't deny what my body was telling me. So it's like a soul takeover, Is it not? Okay. I'm just going to say that's what it feels like. Cause I'm thinking about my episode 500 that I did. And even your, When I was on your podcast, This is what we talked about, Like dismantling the company. Like, Are you out of your mind? That's how it feels to me. Like we're having a similar experience. Like, Yes. So like a week prior to this, You did not know that you didn't even dream that you'd be quitting your job. Nope. Holy moly, I did not know this, Laura. Yeah, It's a pretty crazy story. Okay, So keep going. This is awesome. Okay. So you took, So you jumped, You jumped off the cliff and it was not. Oh, I should say this. Before I made the decision that yes, I'm going to do this. My adolescent parts, God bless. We're like, Are you crazy? I will admit like three years ago, So 2022, I kind of already knew because of your master of certification program, Michelle, That also cracked me open. I kind of also knew that I'm like, Oh, At some, I think sometime soon in three years. So I knew like in 2022, I'm like in three years, But I wasn't ready to own my reality fully. How I said it was in three years, I maybe might possibly have the potential decision to perhaps leave my corporate job. So I wasn't fully owning my reality. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. But I had I had, I had a plan. Not surprising. I had a plan. I'm like, Alright, In three years, I must have this beautiful business plan, I must be really clear, I must have some X number of clients, I must have seven months saving. So before I made the decision that I'm, I'm gonna do this, My adolescent chair, Took over driving for a second. Went bonkers. Yeah. Yeah. Like, Are you crazy? You have maybe two and a half months in savings. You don't have seven months. Are you insane? Wow. Where's your business plan? You wrote one a year ago. That's 20 pages long, But it's not current. What are you going to do? And then I was just like, Thank you. Took over the driver's seat. I'm like, Thank you. I appreciate your concerns. I would like to use your imagination skills to tell me how I could be successful instead. You gave your part a role reassignment, Which I did because I said because this is what we're doing what we can't I'm not going back to that. Yeah, Thank you Feels awful. So then, As soon as I decided, And the adolescent part saw I was serious, Then I'm like, That adolescent was like, All right. So then I started remembering. What are you talking about? I've spoken on stages. I taught your CCP, Like some of them, Right? I've done other workshops. I've created programs. Creating the program was easy. So it's like you have all this skill. You're not starting from scratch. You're actually starting from a hell of a lot of experience. Wow, That's amazing. May-zing. So there's gotta be a level of trust and you know what? It's so interesting because we'll get the hit like I need to do this. I can feel in my body. This is a yes for me. I'm going to take this leap. I'm going to take this step forward. And then the, And it's like, Yes, I'm going to do it. It's going to be great. And then the ego comes in and goes, What are you out of your mind? You can't afford to do that. This is insane. And all that stuff starts popping up. But if we could just stick with the initial feeling, The yes, The jump forward, The take that step forward. This is an alignment. That's that soul aligning of the Usain. Let's say yes. If we can hold that state, It becomes so much easier. And Again, If we know how to speak to the parts of us, We're built with an ego. We humans have egos. So you better believe it. You're going to have doubt and fear that rises up. That's just part of being human. It doesn't mean you're not supposed to do it. Yes, Right? 100% does not mean you're not supposed to do it. It means your ego is doing its job. Your ego's job is to create or to keep you in that little, What did I call it? The igloo, The comfort zone, Which is like the size of an igloo and you're living inside of it. It's nice and safe. It's small, It's comfortable. I like it in here. Don't rock the boat. And then we say yes to something that's outside of our comfort zone. You better believe it. The ego is going to come in and try to talk you out of it. But you're not gonna grow. You're not gonna live your dreams. You're not gonna step into your passion, Your purpose. You're not gonna live a full life where you feel fully alive. Right? Okay. This is amazing. All right. So you said yes, And here we are. This is an unbelievable. Yeah. And so of course, Will doubt come in again? Of course. And then we know how to work with it in the adult chair. We work with our parts. No, It's not. IFS. I do not do IFS. We do energy parts work. We work with spiritual parts. We are working with it. We work with energy. I say we're all energy workers. We're working with energy. Humans are energy. Our parts are energy. The emotions. Can anybody see an emotion? No. Can you see a thought? No. What is it? It's an energy. Energy. That's what we're working with. So. In the adult cheer model, We learn how to work with our parts of self and we do exactly what you're talking about, Laura. Bravo, Girl. Great, Great job. Thank you. Great job. I'm a proud mama. Proud mama bear. I'm a little bear cubs here. All right, So let's go back in time. So I'm thinking about. Okay, So you found the adult chair, You started doing the thing, And then you decided to become a coach. How the heck did you think about that as an engineer? Again, I'm like, Where did you come from? Yeah, Great story. I don't remember if I shared this with you. No, You have all these great stories. Yeah, It took me three tries before I applied. Oh, Wow. Okay. Yes. I made a video about it. I'll have to find it. I'll send it to you, Michelle. I reenacted it. Just so people can get an idea of what different parts are. What happened was I went to a live event and you were toying with the idea. You mentioned, Hey, By the way, If I do like a certification program, Would you be interested? And I'm like, The thing is, When you're not used to this work, In terms of like volume in your head, The adult chair voice, The soul voice, It's quiet. Oh, Very. Yeah. The ego is meh, Right? Yeah, Very loud. So even then, Oh my gosh, This must have been 2019. I don't know, Whichever live event where you first mentioned it. That's when I was like, Hmm? Put my name down. I'm like, Whatever. Let's just whatever. And then you had a podcast. I forget which episode you mentioned. Oh, We're opening a certification, A coaching certification program. You apply. So I'm like, I'm in my heart because at the time I was volunteering for the Junior League of Binghamton. And so, Like, I was already, Like, Heart open. I want to be of service. Like, I there was already a part of me that was thinking, I think I might want to do a passion like side gig where I talk. I already knew if I look at my diary from that time, It's like I want to work with business owners to help them with process, Etc. But I felt like I was missing a piece. And even like when I first heard Adult Share Coaching Certification Program, I was like, Oh, I think that's the piece I'm missing. And then I think I get to the point of like, Why do you want to do this? And I'm like, Why do I want to do this? Ego turns on. Are you insane? You're an engineer. Like, What are you going to do with this? You're going to invest however many thousand dollars into a thing that makes absolute no sense for your career. Get out of here. Close out of the application. And then I'm moving along my day. I think it was like the next day. I mean, I could always just, I could just apply. I don't have to say yes, Even if I get in. So I go back in there. I go a little bit further in the application. Maybe it's like, Where would you, Like, How would you apply this? And ego goes on. How would you apply this, Laura? Like, Yes, I get it with your volunteer work, But you're going to pay money to do the thing that you do for free. You, Like, Why? So again, You're right. You're right. Close out of it. Finally, Another friend of mine, Not the one who introduced me to the adult chair, But somebody sends me a text and says, Hey, Did you know that Michelle's doing a coaching certification program? I think you'd be great at it. And finally I was like, Okay, This is ridiculous. This is the third time. I'm clicking this thing. That's so great. I love it. That's how it made no sense. Yeah, It doesn't make sense again to many people that say, Well, I don't have any experience. How would I do this? I'm like, Thank God, Because I can teach you everything that you need to know. Sometimes I like it better when you have no experience, Not to say I can't teach anybody. But yeah, People have come in saying that, Like, I don't know how to do this. Exactly. You're going to learn it the way I do it. That's perfect. So how was it for you going through the program? What'd you learn about yourself? Well. Oh, This was fun. Because again, I came in. Like already knowing I wanted to go into lead. Like I was clear. I think, You know, From day one, I'm like, This is going to be about leadership. Yeah. Like I was very clear. Yeah. And I thought I had to be like this serious, Like corporate Laura, You know, And one of the exercises was to ask everyone in our cohort, Describe me in two words or something like that. Yeah. And This is going to sound so trite, But I promise it was like deep because of like how it carried through the rest of my life really. I thought people were going to say leadership really great, You know, Like things like that, Like always able to figure stuff out, You know, That kind of thing. Most of them wrote that I was funny. But serious at the same time. And that the blend of that that I do a really good job being like goofy and like really serious about the work at the same time. And it was the first time I started questioning the like the identity piece like, Oh, Do I have to appear this certain way to be taken seriously? That was the first time. And so anytime since then, I started thinking about branding or like how should I present myself or what the messaging should be. Anytime I start to feel myself get into the, Oh, But this other persons in this space should I start doing it like that? Yeah. I remember it was like I remember the list of like comments of most everyone saying you're funny and serious at the same time like oh no I get to be exactly as I am. I love that. I love that. You know, When I think about meeting you in 2020, I don't remember when we met in 2019. You said you were in an event. Where was it? It was a really short, Uh, Nashville. Oh, It must have been a live event in 2018 or 19. Yeah. Okay. One thing I've seen, And I hear this from so many people that have followed the show and attended live events and even become coaches or whatever they do. And anyone listening, You're going to feel like there's this unraveling, Right? You just, It's this unraveling so you can start learning more about who you truly are underneath the masks, Right? When you start really working with those parts and working with the false selves and the true self emerges like a, And we're going to talk about this because it's springtime, But like a spring bloom, Like a tulip coming right up out of the ground. It's like, Oh. Here I am. Here I am. Who knew? And it just keeps getting better, Which is where we started when I said, Oh, You think you've opened your heart? And you have, I don't want to make light of that truly because you really have, Like I've seen you change in so many beautiful ways, But we just keep blooming. It's we keep, We don't think we can open up anymore. It's like, Oh my God, I'm opening again. Oh, What is going on? So it's such a beautiful process. I love this. Thank you. So what else do you want to share with anybody that might be listening that is wanting to learn about the adult chair? Or anything at all, Applying it, Because I love having you on, Because you do come from this engineering background, More of a left brain, And how do I apply this? And you've learned so beautifully how to follow your heart, How do you follow your soul? And you said that, I hope people heard, The soul whispers. The soul's quiet. It's not going to override the voice of the ego ever. It does not. You've got to get quiet. It doesn't mean you have to sit and meditate, Although that does work, But to get quiet and listen. Feel more than anything, Right? Do you feel that in your body, The nudges to move forward and do this or that? I do now. Now that I feel my heart, I feel like an actual like opening in my chest. The first time I felt that, I'm like, Oh my God, Michelle wasn't lying. It's not that I thought you were lying. I just thought it didn't apply to me. What I really want to tell the listeners is that wherever you're at in your journey, First of all, If you are feeling the nudge to become a coach, Because a lot of people came up to me at your event. Go for it. Listen to that, Okay? Now, If you're like, Well, That's not me. The adult year framework honestly has changed my life in the most profound ways. Really make it your own. You know, Make it your own. The framework is simple enough that what I love about it is you can integrate it like as I have. I've integrated it in all my teachings. I may not necessarily actually call it the adult share, But the principles are there. They're getting grounded like which part of you is speaking, You know, How are you actually feeling and like own owning your pillar like that's huge in my world. It's huge. Oh, I love that. I love that. Say yes to everything. Say yes. Say yes. Because the other thing is, I'm going to butcher this quote. I don't know who said this, But it's something like, Don't be the one to tell yourself no. Something like that. It's, You know, It's doing things live, Whatever it is, Whether it's a live event or the coaching or anything live is, And again, Online is great. I am so glad that we have Zoom and we're able to do things online. No joke. Like, I love that. But when we have the opportunity to come together with other humans and do this work live, I mean, It's just, You know, It's a whole new experience, Isn't it? So what are you doing now? What are you doing now in your life? So now I'm still a coach. And at the same time, I've expanded my company called Lead & Tack. So I used to primarily focus on those going through career transition because I've been doing that my whole career. And now I realize I was telling Michelle offline, Like, I kind of miss flexing my skill as an engineer, You know, Like the analytical part. I did a lot of like project management, Things like that. So now I also love working with entrepreneurs, Those who are looking to start, My favorite. And also those looking looking to scale because it's really easy to get ahead with the, You know, Masculine energy or the ego, You know, But at some point it stops being fun. Yeah, Because you feel like you got to do everything you got to hustle. And so that's where I come in. I'm there to take it all on so you can shine and do the thing that only you can do. Oh, That's beautiful. I love it. Thank you, Laura. Well, Thanks for sharing us a little some tidbits about your experience with the adult chair. We really, Really appreciate you and what you're doing in the world. And I just love having you part of our adult chair family. So thank you. Thank you for having me. Of course. Well, Thank you, Laura, For joining us. We love having you around. And yeah, We'll put everything, Including the spelling of your last name in the show notes, Of course. I just love you. Thank you so much. Thank you.