How To Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes

Forgiveness is a powerful healing tool and a secret to attracting greater abundance in your life. We will explore and learn techniques for forgiving ourselves and others. Learn to let go of anger, resentment, and pain and embrace a life of compassion, peace, abundance, and understanding. When we forgive ourselves, part of our pain dies, and our power is renewed. Forgiveness is a spiritual quality. Discover the keys to forgiving yourself successfully and the technique to forgive yourself for past mistakes. Turn the pain of your past into the power of the present moment.

Please note: This track may include some explicit language.

Transcript

So how to forgive yourself for your past mistakes?

It first begins by letting go of your judgments.

The judgments that come from the conditioning that you will be unlovable,

That you won't deserve if you make a mistake.

To be able to say,

You know what,

That's just not true.

I'm not perfect,

But everything I do can lead me towards greater progress.

Even those dead ends I go down that I thought were the right way to do it,

You know what,

I went down this dead end and it didn't end up being what I wanted it to be.

And on the surface to others it might look like a mistake,

But what did I learn along the way?

I might have met a certain person that I would not have met had I not gone down that dead end.

That leads me towards the success that I want.

So even on the surface the ego sees something and wants to judge it as good and bad,

Right and wrong,

A mistake and a failure or a success and you know you did it right.

And that's another thing we think of success as good and failure as bad.

No,

It's about growth and learning.

You can turn failure into something very good when you learn from it,

When you understand,

When you let go of the judgment.

Now certainly you don't want to make it your goal to fail,

But if it's there and you've done it,

Admit it,

Own it.

Because that's the first step to forgiving yourself is to admit it.

A lot of people will never admit they make a mistake even that they're doing mistakes all the time and hurting other people.

They're like no no no no that's not what I meant to do,

That's not what I meant to say,

That's not the way.

They won't own and admit the fact that yeah I can have negative impact and we all can.

And forgiving ourselves is being real.

It's realizing you know what,

I wasn't given a guide on how to live my life when I was a little child.

I was given rules.

I was told how little girls should be and I was told how little boys should be and I was told how I should be.

But those often were by well-meaning parents that were trying to control and contain you,

To thwart your creativity,

To keep you in line.

And that to allow yourself to continue to do that would be a great mistake because it would deny your creativity,

It would deny your essence,

Your uniqueness.

And you came here as a spiritual being to learn,

To grow,

To know yourself,

Your uniqueness.

And when you discover yourself and your talents and your gifts,

Often what you have judged in your childhood is something that's weird or different about you.

That difference that you're ashamed of or embarrassed by that nobody else was,

Often holds a key to your destiny.

But because you are afraid of people not approving of you or valuing you or understanding you,

You abandon yourself and you try to conform and you often abandon your dreams.

And that is a big mistake that you can forgive yourself for.

That you can forgive yourself for.

And so tonight we're gonna unravel and talk a little bit about.

And I want you to just sit back and listen a bit.

You know I know those note-takers like to take a lot of notes and I understand that I'm a good note-taker myself.

But sometimes if you just sit back and let it in,

It can be very powerful.

And I'm gonna give you a couple of keys on hopefully what will make it easier for you to not only forgive yourself,

But to get out from under the imprisonment of the judgments that you hold about your previous mistakes.

To set yourself free.

To create a new opportunity,

A new beginning for you.

A new opportunity and a new beginning for you.

Not only to begin again,

But to expand beyond.

To expand beyond your fear of,

What if I make a mistake?

What if I do it wrong?

What if I fail?

And that's the first thing is to ask yourself,

What if?

What if?

The first thing is,

Well then I'll beat myself up.

I'll feel lousy.

I'll make myself miserable.

I won't deserve to do things.

But who's setting those rules?

How about you can set the rule that if I fail and I make a mistake and I do something wrong,

I'm gonna really nurture and pamper myself and be there to support myself and learn.

What can I have learned from this experience?

Maybe I can change the rules that I've been taught from my ego.

It says,

Well people that make a mistake or fail at something,

They're bad,

They're wrong.

No,

They're out of alignment.

Their beliefs are out of alignment.

That's why the success didn't happen.

Their belief about themselves,

Their approach,

The way they went about it,

They were missing in information.

Those are reasons why people fail and make mistakes.

But they're not bad people.

So the first key is to let go of the judgment you have about making a mistake or failing or doing something wrong.

And that,

By letting go of that,

You'll have less need to forgive yourself in the future because you won't be harboring and judging and repressing and punishing yourself for the mistakes that are inevitable in your life.

Life is forgiving love and the only relationship that you have that is permanent is the relationship you have with yourself.

All other relationships are temporary.

And yet we give our power away to those other relationships and we feel good or bad about ourselves depending on whether people agree or disagree with us,

Whether they approve or disapprove.

And that's sad and it's human because we want to be connected.

We want to belong.

We want to be valuable.

There's something beautiful about that.

But when you can realize,

Ultimately,

It's about my relationship with myself and when I can learn to be understanding,

Compassionate,

When I can learn to forgive and let go of the past,

I will not only be a more loving person for myself,

But that love then will be available for all of those other people in my reality.

You have to begin with yourself and learning to forgive yourself is essential.

So the first key is to let go of the judgments of failure and mistakes are bad and wrong and success is good and right.

No,

All it means is success means I had things in alignment,

I had the correct information,

And I followed through in a timely manner and did things that turned into getting people's approval and praise.

And when I failed at something,

It means I didn't have the right information,

My beliefs were askew,

I was out of alignment,

And I got disapproval from other people,

Possibly,

Potentially.

But am I a bad person for that?

No.

You're a person who's learning and growing and discovering and becoming more.

And as long as whatever you do,

Fail or succeed,

You become more from the experience.

It becomes part of your stepping stone towards fulfillment and greater success in your life.

So I'm gonna pause here for just a moment and see who's jumped on here to say hello.

I think I saw Cheryl waving her hand up there.

Blossom,

Hi Blossom.

Monica,

Liz.

Oh,

Thomas Edison.

Who did I say?

Who did I say?

Einstein?

I did.

Thomas Edison,

You're right.

See,

I made a mistake.

Oh,

I made a mistake.

Let's cancel the class.

I can't go on.

I made a mistake.

Oh my god,

I'm a horrible person.

My point is,

Is that we are taught that we have to be perfect,

Right?

As little kids,

Gotta be perfect.

Perfect little girls,

They sit there,

They don't speak up,

They just look pretty and be polite and go refill the trays for mama.

Little boys,

They just be polite and nice and don't get too rowdy and don't kick your sister and do all the rules and regulations that is conditioned to believe,

Oh,

I gotta be perfect or I won't be loved.

And guess what?

If you hold that belief,

That is the number one reason why you won't love yourself is that you're not perfect.

And guess what?

You'll never be perfect.

But instead of saying,

You know what?

I'm not here to be perfect.

I'm here to love myself.

That's why I'm here.

Not to be perfect,

But to love myself in spite of the fact that I'm not perfect.

To love others in spite of the fact that they're not perfect.

So letting go of the demand for perfection,

Another key.

Letting go of the conditioned judgments of good and bad,

Right and wrong,

And letting go of perfection.

Because really what perfection is,

It's a lack of trust within yourself.

If I could just be perfect,

No one will question me.

If I can just do it perfectly,

Then nobody will question whether I did it right.

And I'm so afraid.

And I don't trust myself that if I do it wrong,

I can figure things out and move forward.

And yet you all have that ability.

So the second key is letting go of perfection.

Letting go of your judgments of good and right and wrong,

About your mistakes,

About the past,

About things you've done that you've disappointed others,

You've disappointed yourself,

Is to let go of the judgment that I'm a bad person,

I'm a wrong person,

I'm unworthy,

I'm undeserving.

That's the first step.

The second step is to stop trying to be perfect and let yourself make progress.

Practice makes progress.

That's what I use instead of practice makes perfect.

Practice makes progress.

And as you practice,

You're going to fail.

You're gonna make mistakes.

I mean,

Think about any sport team,

Any sport player.

They don't always get the ball in the hoop.

They don't always hit the ball with the bat.

They make mistakes all the time.

It doesn't stop them.

But yet we think,

Oh,

I can't make a mistake.

And so letting go of perfection and learning from your experiences.

And the third key is to trust yourself that if you make a mistake,

You'll take responsibility.

You know what?

I'll be honest enough with myself to be big enough,

Strong enough,

And powerful enough to be vulnerable enough to make mistakes.

To be powerful and strong enough to be vulnerable.

And when you.

.

.

That's how the ego feels when you make a mistake.

You feel vulnerable.

And yet the ego says,

Oh,

Don't be vulnerable.

Be perfect.

Don't be vulnerable.

Be tough.

Pretend you don't care.

Pretend it doesn't matter.

You know,

Put up your facade.

And so letting yourself off the hook from the judgments that you make about good and bad,

Right and wrong.

And to realize,

You know what?

When my beliefs are in alignment and when I have correct information and I take action in a timely manner,

Success often happens.

It's not guaranteed,

But it often happens.

And when I'm out of alignment,

My beliefs are out of.

.

.

That's all it means is my beliefs are out of alignment.

I'm not bad and wrong.

You know,

I need to change those beliefs and I can do that.

I need to get more information and I can do that.

And I can trust myself to move forward and try again.

To try again.

Not to give up and abandon myself because I don't.

.

.

I'm not perfect and somebody might notice.

So that's important as you move forward.

And the fourth key,

The most difficult,

And why people not only have difficulty forgiving themselves,

But why people have difficulty in healing and changing and growing from the past,

Is that they have lost a foundation,

A fundamental foundation of being human.

And that fundamental foundation was robbed,

Taken away by shame in our childhood.

Too much shame.

The shame was so overwhelming and you had so many judgments about it.

Because shame is there,

It has a purpose.

And when it's in balance and in harmony,

When it's not too much and dumped on you,

And when you haven't added your judgments to it,

Shame is there to teach you to feel remorse.

Now what is remorse?

It's sorrow.

I've done something wrong.

I've had negative impact.

I've hurt others and I'm genuinely sorry.

That's remorse.

I genuinely feel sorrow.

And our ego is so afraid to feel sorrow.

And it's the foundation of every addictive response,

Is a lack of remorse.

And yet shame is there to teach us that I can have negative impact.

I'm human and I live in a world of duality.

There are things that I can do beautifully and wonderfully and I can love and I can heal.

And I can also withdraw love and produce pain and hurt others.

But this fourth key,

The lack of this foundation of remorse,

Is so rampant in our world.

And when somebody has no remorse and no sense of sorrow,

In time they become sociopaths.

They become sociopaths.

So learning to own and be willing to feel your sorrow is the key to not only forgiving yourself,

Because you know,

You hear people all the time say,

Oh yeah,

I'll forgive myself.

Yeah,

Okay,

Yeah,

I did something wrong.

I'm sorry.

I'll forgive you.

But they don't feel remorse.

They don't feel remorse.

And if you don't feel remorse,

You're not going to really forgive yourself.

You're going to go through the motions in your head of saying the words.

Just like when people say,

Oh thank you,

Oh thank you,

I appreciate that,

I thank you.

Are they feeling gratitude?

Or are they just regurgitating the polite response that they've been conditioned to say?

Oh thank you,

I appreciate it,

Thank you,

Yeah,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Appreciate it.

Are you feeling actually appreciation and gratitude?

Or are you just a habit of that's what I need to say to be loved and accepted by others?

See the difference?

So in order to forgive yourself,

You have to be willing to feel remorse.

That hey,

I've had negative impact.

I've hurt your feelings.

I've done something wrong and I'm genuinely sorry.

Then you have something real to forgive.

I once had a friend who,

You know,

I had a falling out with.

We're not friends anymore.

But we were talking once,

You know,

And I gave him a second chance because I thought,

You know,

Maybe he's grown,

Maybe he's changed,

And he really hurt my feelings.

I talked about it and then I gave him a second chance and we started talking.

And he goes to me,

He goes,

Well if I hurt your feelings,

Then I'm sorry.

I'm like,

That is not an apology.

First of all,

I told you you hurt my feelings.

Why are you questioning it?

If I did,

No,

I told you you hurt my feelings.

So this if,

Meaning like,

I don't want to,

You know,

I think you're crazy.

You know,

You're too sensitive,

Whatever.

But if it's not an apology,

It's like,

No,

I hurt your feelings and I'm deeply sorry.

And I'll do everything not to do that again.

But when he said if and he didn't want it,

That says I don't want to take responsibility and I don't really believe I hurt,

You know,

I had anything wrong that you're too sensitive.

This is your problem,

Not mine.

I couldn't trust that.

I can't,

You know,

I can't feel safe in a future friendship with that person because of that.

So that's another example of people's egos that just say the words that are meaningless.

But if they,

And when you,

Somebody genuinely feels remorse and sorrow,

If somebody has done something bad to you and hurt you,

And they really come from a place of remorse,

You can feel it.

And it's so much easier than to forgive them because you know they don't want to feel that pain again.

They don't want to feel that sorrow again.

And they're gonna do everything to prevent themselves from quote repeating that mistake.

How do you build a foundation for remorse?

Remorse says,

You know,

The lack of remorse is I can't make a mistake.

I can't fail.

I can't be wrong.

I've got to be perfect.

That's the lack of remorse.

That's where people justify and oh well no no I didn't really do that.

I didn't really,

You know,

They come up with all these excuses to try to skirt and you know their ego is trying to avoid owning the fact that they had negative impact.

But you know what?

We all have it.

And as I've mentioned in previous talks on here,

Is that a person says,

Oh no no I could never hurt you.

I'm just a spiritual light.

I'm just this love.

I'm just this pink glowing light.

No no I don't have a mean bone in my body.

I could never hurt you.

Those are the people that you want to steer clear from.

Because first of all they've deluded themselves into believing they can't have negative impact and therefore they're hurting others without being responsible or conscious of it.

So you better duck.

And then that they do hurt you,

They're never gonna admit it.

But rather a person who comes to you and says,

You know what?

I know my games.

I know how my ego can be mean and cruel and negative and manipulative.

I know it and I choose not to do that.

That's not who I want to be.

I choose not to.

That's a person you can trust.

Rather than somebody who has deluded themselves to believe that they're this you know puff of light.

There's a lot of people in the metaphysical spiritual communities that go into that you know charade.

But it's not real.

And they wonder why they don't have many friends.

So back to what is the foundation of remorse.

It ultimately begins by knowing the truth that I can be forgiven.

I can make mistakes.

I can do something wrong and I can fail without being a mistake or being wrong or being a failure.

There's the difference.

A remorseful person can say,

Yeah I can make a mistake in the pursuit of learning and growing and moving forward in my life.

And I'm not gonna do it perfectly and that's okay.

A person with remorse has that ability to have that vulnerability to admit their weaknesses and to admit their strengths.

That's what foundation of remorse allows you to have.

I can change.

I can grow.

Not out of necessity.

I have to.

Oh I'm a horrible person.

I hate myself and I've got to change and grow because I'm disgusting a horrible human being.

No I can change and grow for the fun of it.

To learn.

To discover.

To explore.

I don't have to do it always out of a necessity.

You know years ago when I left a corporate job I did it because I really wanted to explore other possibilities.

It was a good job.

I liked it.

I felt like I've learned all the lessons I could learn there and it was time to move on.

And people are like,

Oh you're making a big mistake.

Don't rock the boat.

What if you don't find another job?

What if you don't do this?

And all this stuff.

It's like you can't just change your job without creating a drama at work.

You had to create some reason and that's what a lot of people when they want to leave a job they create all kinds of drama and misunderstandings and problems so they can justify leaving it rather than saying you know what I'm done here.

This has been great.

I've learned a lot.

It's time for me to move on.

That's a person who has a foundation of power and strength.

Rather than the person says you know what I'm miserable here and I've got to come up with something and make my boss bad and wrong and come up with some some conflict.

Create some kind of struggle to justify leaving the job instead of saying you know what I can leave it just because I want to.

A person with remorse can do that.

A person who has a foundation of remorse can say you know what I can change and grow for the fun of it.

Not because of I need to to be good enough to be valuable to try to fix myself.

That's a lack of remorse.

A lack of forgiving yourself and a lack of remorse.

A person with remorse recognizes that their desires,

Their needs,

And their preferences are important and valuable.

Sometimes they're the highest priority and sometimes they're not.

A person with remorse can evaluate your needs and desires and say you know what this other person's needs right now are more important than mine and I'm going to put mine on the back burner for a period of time.

Or my needs and desires and preferences are more important right now and I'm going to make that a higher priority.

A person with remorse can shift their priorities and evaluate where a person with a lack of remorse says oh no everybody else's needs come first.

I don't matter what my needs are.

I don't matter if I get around to it.

I'll find time but I don't matter.

I don't matter.

I have a lack of remorse and a lack of forgiveness of myself or respect for myself.

They put everybody else's needs ahead of them or they put their needs ahead of everybody else's and don't let any.

.

.

They're always like oh no I'm the most important thing and this is all that matters.

Self-importance is a lack of remorse.

But a person who truly has a foundation for remorse can evaluate and think and discern say yeah my needs are still valuable and important although right now this other person's needs are a little bit more valuable and important than mine right now.

Now I'm going to take care of their needs first and then get back to mine.

Where the other person without remorse is either or.

Either your needs or my needs.

It's a battle.

I'm always battling.

Instead of evaluating and a person with remorse evaluates and says.

.

.

As an example I've used this before.

A mother who has a really need and preference for a nap and she has a little child.

She says you know I really have a need to take a nap this afternoon.

That's my preference.

That's my desire.

And then the kid screaming because his diaper is wet.

Oh well a person with lack of remorse says well I better go take care of that baby.

I don't deserve to lay down and have a nap.

No no no.

I'll just take care of my kids and do all my chores and my duties.

Or I'm just gonna go take that nap and let the kid wallow in it.

Instead of saying you know what I'm gonna take care of my child's needs first.

Take care of them.

Make sure they're comfortable and then I'm gonna go take my nap.

That's a balance of a person who truly understands that their needs and desires are valuable and they matter.

But they're not always the highest priority.

It depends on the circumstances in the situation.

And another quality,

Another characteristics of a person that has a foundation of remorse is understanding that you are a growing and achieving and evolving spiritual being.

And because you're growing,

Because you're moving forward,

And because you're learning and discovering,

You are valuable.

And as you acknowledge that you're evolving and growing and changing,

That there's gonna be chaos and there's gonna be uncertainty and there's gonna be self-doubt.

And that's okay.

I don't have to have all the answers before I take action.

I don't have to have all the answers.

But I do need to trust myself.

I do need to know I'm on my own side.

That I'm not gonna throw myself under the bus.

That I do need to know that I can learn and grow from my mistakes and I'm gonna be on my own side.

A person with remorse is their best friend,

Their own best friend,

Rather than their own worst enemy.

Because they're accepting the truth of who they are.

A spiritual being who's evolving and growing and changing.

And yeah,

You don't have all the answers.

But you can discover a lot of answers along the way.

And that you're gonna turn down some dead ends,

But you can get back on track.

So the foundation of remorse is the fourth key to develop that.

How do you develop it?

By to look at and notice those,

You know,

Can I make mistakes and not feel so guilty and bad and wrong and terrible?

Can I let go of my judgments about that?

Can I do that?

Can I make a mistake and say,

Yeah,

You know what?

That was silly of me to do that.

I should have done it differently and I can do it differently in the future.

And I'm gonna learn about that.

I'm gonna grow.

I'm gonna become more from that failure,

That mistake.

And it's gonna serve me rather than punish me.

Hear the difference?

It can serve me.

When I've made past mistakes,

You can go back to the parts of you that made those mistakes.

And so I'm gonna teach you some techniques on how to do that.

The first way to begin to practice and to take your power back and to forgive,

Learn how to forgive the mistakes of your past,

The first thing is to make a list of your regrets.

Yeah.

Face your regrets.

Oh,

I don't want to think about them.

Makes me feel bad.

That's only because you're judging them and you're judging yourself as bad.

But yeah,

Okay,

I have regrets.

There's things I've done I wish I would have done differently.

There's people I've hurt that I wish I wouldn't have hurt.

And I want to make a list of those people and things.

I want to make a list and think about what are maybe the top ten regrets that I have in my life.

Because you see,

Ignoring and denying them and pretending it's water under the bridge,

That's the past,

It's over with,

It doesn't affect me now,

It's not true.

It's not true.

It does affect you now.

And it affects every relationship that you want to create,

Every relationship you currently have.

Regrets are in the subconscious mind and it's like this hundred-pound weight tied around your leg and you're trying to move forward.

So to face your regrets is to own it.

Yeah,

Let me make a list and maybe look at the regrets you had in previous loving relationships to learn from it.

What can I learn about myself?

What could I have done differently?

You know,

I was really controlling.

I was such a control freak when I was in that relationship.

I was so controlling.

And see,

That's a judgment,

Right?

Oh,

I'm bad.

I'm wrong for being controlling.

No.

When you look at and understand why,

Why was I controlling?

Well,

All control,

Every act of control,

Underneath it is an attempt,

Is a motivation from your ego.

But it's a motivation and an attempt to try to make love safe,

To keep love from leaving.

That's why you control.

When you understand why you do it,

And it's that the ego's game,

It's like,

I'm so afraid of losing this person,

This love,

I got to control everything about them.

When you realize,

You know what?

That never is gonna work.

And what's quote bad and wrong isn't me.

It's the method I'm using to try to make love safe.

And I can change that.

What's quote wrong isn't me.

It's I'm using tools from my ego that is gonna guarantee the love is gonna leave.

Because control never ever actually makes love safe.

It's a game that your ego plays.

And when you can recognize that,

Say,

You know what?

I need to change.

I need to trust rather than control.

Trust myself.

Trust the other person.

Become trustworthy.

And let go of the need to control.

Because control never works.

People think they're in control,

But they're not.

And so when you can realize,

Yeah,

It's my MO of trying to make love safe that isn't working.

Not me.

It's my method of operandi that I learned.

And people,

I learned from my mother,

My father,

Other people,

And conditioning.

And I'm gonna stop doing that because I know it doesn't work.

And it's always gonna end up in more frustration and more pain.

So that's an example.

But you write out your list of regrets.

And you look at why.

What is the symptom beneath it?

Just like when you recognize the control.

What is why?

Why am I controlling?

What do I think it's gonna give me?

Why was I being cold and distant with that person?

What did I think it would do?

I thought it would protect me from being hurt.

It ended up just making it worse.

You know,

To look at,

To write your regrets down,

And to look at what was the symptom?

What was underneath it?

What was I trying to achieve that went askew,

That went wrong?

And that's what I can forgive myself for.

I can forgive myself for why I did what I did.

Not necessarily what I did,

But why I did.

Because that's what's real.

What you did is an illusion.

But why you did it,

The motivation,

Is what's more real.

And when you can change that and learn from it,

You can let go.

You can forgive yourself and others.

But forgive yourself.

So write a list of the regrets that you have.

Write a list of resentments,

If that's something that's holding you back.

And go back and talk to the part of you that was at that age.

If this was from a relationship you were in five years ago,

Go back in the meditation.

Close your eyes and reconnect to that part of you that still has those regrets.

And talk to him or her.

And say,

You know what?

I was there.

I'm your future.

And I know how you feel.

I'm the only one who knows how you really feel.

Because I'm your future self.

And I'm coming back to let you know you're not bad and wrong.

I'm gonna stop judging you.

And I'm gonna start to be understanding and compassionate towards you.

And I want to,

I want you to feel what you're feeling.

And express your feelings in this meditation.

And they might rant and rave.

And this party's like,

Oh that son of a bitch.

They did it.

Let them vent it.

Give them,

Create a space safe enough for them to be real and express their feelings.

To get it up and out of them.

Because as they release the energy,

They're gonna find peace.

And guess what?

When that part of you,

Inside of you,

Finds peace,

So do you do.

So do you.

So to go back to the list and look at,

Okay yeah I have a lot of regret and resentment back here.

And I did some really nasty things.

I want to go back and seek to understand myself.

I was in pain.

I was afraid.

I was this.

I was that.

I want to be understanding.

Because that's what love does.

How do you love yourself?

Forgiveness is an important key.

Inner child work.

Healing the past.

The parts of your past.

You know,

Being willing to love the unlovable parts of yourself.

It's all about self-love.

And when you do,

You change.

You change your future.

You change who you are now.

And you find greater peace.

So to go back and to connect with those parts of yourself.

Let go of your judgments and create a space that they feel safe enough to be real and to be vulnerable and to share.

To talk with you in meditation.

And to express any repressed feelings that are holding you back.

That are keeping you from not only forgiving yourself,

But from letting go of the past with its mistakes.

To allow you to open up to greater freedom.

To have a deeper connection with your soul.

To allow you to feel the alignment with your true power.

The power of your being.

And to allow you to navigate and open up to greater love,

Joy,

Healing,

And prosperity in your life.

So that writing out the list of regrets,

Resentments.

Go back talk to that part of yourself.

If they made a mistake to somebody else,

You hurt other people,

Bring them up in your meditation.

You don't have to call them up on the phone.

You don't have to engage with their ego.

That's not real.

What's real is their higher self.

Their soul.

And you can bring that part of that person up.

And you can apologize.

In meditation with your eyes closed.

They could be alive or they could have passed on.

Doesn't matter.

Again it's about changing the energy in the relationship.

So when you bring them up and you imagine them.

Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between you talking to them actually.

And then you then you just sitting there and imagining it.

That's the power of the mind.

So that ex.

That old boss.

That person that you did some things to.

That you really appalled.

Bring them up and talk and feel the sorrow.

Be willing to say you know what I'm so sorry I really was a schmuck.

I really hurt your feelings.

And I was really afraid.

I was really scared.

And not that it justifies it.

Not that it you know.

But just to explain and talk to them and say would you please forgive me.

Would you forgive me for what I did.

And in your meditation they will.

Because you're connecting to their higher self.

Not their ego.

Their ego may not.

But that's okay.

You need their soul.

From soul to soul.

From higher self to higher self.

That's what's real.

And you might be surprised how it changes their ego as well.

So that's a technique you can do.

You can bring up the list.

Go through it.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Do it.

You know take your time.

You as you shift you're gonna change your energy.

And that's gonna create a little chaos in your life.

So you don't want to do all ten of them in one night.

First of all you're not gonna feel the remorse genuinely or the sorrow.

You're just gonna be trying to get it off your to-do list.

Let me do this real quickly and that's not gonna be effective.

Take your time.

Make a list.

Go back.

What are the top five that I need to deal with?

And then the other five I can deal with later.

But which ones feel right?

It feels a little too overwhelming to do the top big ones.

You know like there's ten of them here.

And you can rate them from one to ten.

Which is the most difficult,

Challenging,

Painful?

From one to ten.

This is a ten.

This is an eight.

This is a three.

This is a four.

This is a one.

This is a twelve.

You know list them out.

And you might want to start with the little ones just to practice.

You know the ones,

The twos,

The threes,

The fours.

Yeah that was a long time ago.

I still feel a little bit of regret but it's not that painful.

Well let me practice with those ones.

Take them off the list because every time you do this you're going to let a part of your pain die and a part of your spirit rejuvenate.

So guess what?

As you do the littler ones first,

You're going to have more power and strength to deal with the bigger ones.

So approach it from that way.

Don't tackle the most difficult one.

You know that divorce that you went through two years ago and you're still resentful and angry now.

Don't start there because it would be too challenging and you need to retrieve more of your power and strength.

So work with the other ones.

You know that kid in high school and that person that you know you hurt here or whatever.

Work through the ones that are quote less difficult for you to work on.

And then you'll build strength.

You'll build power.

You'll build presence.

You'll build remorse.

You'll get easier and easier at doing it because you've been so taught and conditioned not to feel sad and sorrow or to admit that you've been you could do something wrong.

It'll be easier than as you practice and then you can tackle the bigger ones.

It'll be easier for you to overcome those.

And another thing to do before you do any of these techniques is to ask for help.

You know your soul wants,

It's a spiritual quality to be forgiving and you can talk to your soul.

You don't have to visualize it or see it.

It's there.

It's always listening.

But say I really want some help.

I want to heal the pain of my past.

I want to heal these mistakes so that I can feel more at peace and I can start living and allowing greater success,

More happiness and let go of the guilt that I feel.

I need your help and I want to do that.

I want to learn how to forgive and let go.

Forgiving myself and others and I'm asking for help and then to do the list.

That's an important first step,

A preamble that you can do.

And so those are some of the ways that you can begin to forgive the pain of the past and the mistakes that you have made is by letting go of the judgments,

Letting go of perfection,

Letting yourself feel genuine remorse.

It's uncomfortable but it's so powerful in the healing process because that sadness and sorrow,

Believe it or not,

Is still inside of you.

And not feeling it and ignoring it and numbing out with addictive responses doesn't make it go away.

It just festers and metastasizes in time inside of you.

And when you can let go and heal and let go you become more whole.

You become more empowered and more at peace and you will make a lot less mistakes in the future.

Not that you'll never make a mistake again but you'll make a lot less because often the mistakes are opportunities to learn how to forgive.

Opportunities to learn how to forgive and once you learn how to forgive you don't need to make mistakes to forgive anymore.

Thank you all.

I hope I gave you some ideas and maybe just shifted your perspective a little bit because that's where change happens.

It's all about changing your consciousness because once you change your consciousness it's really hard to go back.

It's really hard to go back to the old way of living.

And when you can let yourself be a person who's real,

Who's authentic,

That can feel remorse,

That can love,

That can give,

That can share,

That can heal and can also be a person who can cause pain,

Who can withdraw love,

Who can create misery,

Who can be negative and critical.

And you can let yourself be real and own it.

Instead of judging one is right and one is wrong but saying you know what I'm alive.

I'm human.

And the more you can stop judging the parts of yourself that are quote undesirable and start to understand them the more they come to peace and come into alignment and they no longer will sabotage you.

Because you are a person who accepts yourself.

A person who not only is aware of yourself but is accepting the complexity of who you are.

And who you are is a powerful majestic spiritual being who's having this human experience and so the human parts of you also need love and understanding.

And that's what I help people,

Encourage people to do.

And as they do they become more empowered.

And that's my goal and your goal is to grow and to become all that you are.

I hope you all have a great night and I'll be in touch soon.

God bless and be well.

Bye now.