Emptying Our Cups | Creating Space For What Matters

Recorded from a Live Event.
This introduction to a half-day silent retreat combines a Dharma talk on creating space and emptying our cups with practical retreat instructions.
Creating space means slowing down enough to see what is driving us and whether it aligns with what we most deeply want. The retreat instructions offer guidance for creating supportive conditions for silence and stillness.
Wisdom isn't simply knowledge; the teachings have to become our lived experience. For that, we need to leave a little room in the cup.
Listen as the beginning of the retreat or on its own as an invitation to create space in daily life.

Transcript

Start with a little zen story where a professor from the west he goes to japan he wants to learn from this really famous zen master so he goes to the monastery they meet and they go and sit and and the professor he has a lot of self-confidence he really thinks very highly of his how much he knows so he starts sharing with the master everything he knows about zen and what he's read about zen and all the retreats he's done and and the insights that he's had, And this is how his practice looks. And he also has a few suggestions for the Zen masters as well. So as he's talking on and on, The Zen master begins pouring a cup of tea. And the tea gets to the rim of the cup and he doesn't stop. It keeps overflowing into the saucer. And then the tea fills the saucer. And then it's overflowing onto the floor. And eventually, The professor notices this and he says, Stop, What are you doing? The cup is overflowing. Zen Master says, Just as you are overflowing with your own ideas, With your own opinions, With your own beliefs, You know, With what you know, With all this knowledge. There's no room for me to teach you anything. You are overflowing. You are full. And sew. We can take this same story to really look into our own lives and see how our own lives are overflowing, They are filled to the brim, They are flowing into the saucer and flowing off the saucer onto the floor and not just with our own ideas and opinions and knowledge and information, But with plans and obligations and endless goals and endless projects and endless emails and texts to respond to. That we're full, We're overflowing. How can we learn anything? When we are already filled up. So this is why doing these short retreats can be so beneficial in our practice, Whether it's a half day retreat like we're doing today, Or if you can set aside an hour, Two hours a week, Where you just have this quiet time where you can slow down You can make some space. You can unplug, Turn off some of the noise. And empty some of your cups. So that you might see what it is that's happening. Because we are all very much caught up. In this endless race, This need to always be busy. To be productive because that's so good, I've got to accomplish this, I've got to reach this next goal, That we're always being propelled forward. But for what end? Because we get there. And then another goal just appears in its place, A new destination. And at what cost. Because we are carrying around a lot of pressure. Whether it's the pressure from other people to be something, To do what they want us to do, Or the pressure that we hold for ourselves to be something, To be someone. To do more. And of course, How very tiring. This all is. How exhausted we can feel from this constant race. And all the times that we keep saying yes to things, We keep agreeing when everyone asks us to do things, We keep saying yes when we really want to be saying no. But we feel compelled. No, I've got to do more. I've got to be more productive. And so it's really for us to look and see what are we chasing? What do we think is on the other side of this moment that isn't here? Right now. All this running. All this chasing. It's not healthy for us. It's not fulfilling, It's not bringing us peace, It's not bringing us contentment, It's just be getting more running, More chasing. And so much of this does come from the conditioning of our culture. Of course, Our culture really sets the standards for what a successful life is supposed to look like. And for most of us in the West, The standard is, Be busy. Be productive. Get more, Doesn't matter if you have enough. To live, Doesn't matter if you have a little money in the bank and you've got a nice little savings for retirement, Get more, More is better, Right? It's always telling us that it's more, You've got to look a certain way, You've got to have certain relationships to be okay, You've got to have a certain size house, You've got to dress a certain way. Our society has projected these values of what a successful life looks like. And then it has been reinforced through an external audience. So every time. We're busy. We get praised. Look at you, You're so productive, You're always getting things done, Right? Every time we achieve something we get this acknowledgement that when we're told we're successful. We feel accepted. We feel like we've made it. So the external audience has done a really good job of reinforcing that this busyness is good. We should keep doing this. And in fact, It's done such a good job, We don't even need the external audience anymore. We can just be sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon, Nothing going on. No one's there demanding anything of us. We don't really need to be doing anything at all. And yet that little, That urge, That kind of, Oh, I should be doing something. I shouldn't just be sitting here and relaxing and resting and doing nothing. I should be productive. I should be using my time wisely. Maybe I should go answer those emails. Yeah, That would be a smart thing to do. So who's putting the pressure on now? Right? The external validation. Has done such a good job. Of reinforcing the standards of our society of what a successful life looks like. That we cave now. Simply to the internal audience. The internal pressure. And so this is what happens when we slow down and we start to look. We look deeply at this this constant chasing what's happening in there there's a there's a judging thought arise i should be doing something right the broadcast remember that we've been talking about right the um this, You know, It's telling us we should be doing something more. We're believing that there's something inside here that would feel satisfied if we actually did it. But then with mindfulness, We recognize it. Yes, There it is. No problem that it's happening. It's very much the conditioning of our culture. These are the thoughts that are kind of in our zeitgeist, They're not your thoughts, You didn't plan to have this thought, But they arise. And with that thought, The contraction, The contracted energy and that urge, That urge to accomplish, To get to the next thing, Right? This is all just habit energy. But if we don't bring mindfulness to us, We're just getting pulled, Dragged to the next thing. And we know it doesn't end, Doesn't end. Tells us it's going to end, Kind of feels like there's an off-ramp, And then it goes whoop. Goes back around again. Feels like there's a little bit of an off-ramp, And then it goes just back around again, Just staying in this endless cycle. So mindfulness really being the conditions to see what's happening to notice that contraction that energy of that feeling like there's something inside of me that is going to feel satisfied if I accomplish this. Then breathing into that and feeling that, Acknowledging it, Right, Everything we talk about with mindfulness and using the RAIN acronym and self-compassion and we notice it's just that habit energy. Kind of gets up, The momentum is there, But when we slow down, As we're doing today, We slow down and we start to empty our cups, Right, We start to see that it is just habit energy. That's all it is, Habit energy based on what our society has told us. Is a successful life. Know what other people have told us what success should look like what happiness should look like and now we can look inside ourselves and say is this Actually happiness? Is this bringing fulfillment? Is it bringing peace? Is it bringing contentment? And this isn't to say that doing is a bad thing or that feeling the sense of satisfaction after accomplishing something, It's not to say that any of those things are bad, But it's this. This kind of this constant it's always more and that in the idea of that if I were to just get that I would finally feel whole and complete. I will finally feel like the success and I can finally let all this pressure, I can set it down for once. But we don't. Or maybe we do for a few minutes maybe a day or two depending upon the goal that was accomplished and then we pick it right back up again so this is really for us to look for us to take this time to figure out for ourselves you know what that balance really looks like between how much of the doing. Is, Are we enjoying it? Is it good? Like, We do need to work, We do need to survive, Of course. How much of it is is yes, It's necessary doing, We've got to do the dishes, We've got to take a shower, We've got to do the laundry, Right, There's a lot of things that do need to be done. But how much of this doing is simply this automatic just sense of a need to always be busy because we have equated productivity. With good. And thereby never being allowed to rest, Never being able to sit back and even just enjoy the fruits of our labor. And so it's why we spent in the meditation a little bit more time really focusing on what it is that we truly do want. So that we can also spend the time in the silent part of the retreat when you're on your own to really look to see how your life, How your actions are truly aligning with what it is that you most want. And again, It's not to say that sometimes we have obligations, Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do, But I think there's also, If we're being honest with ourselves, We say yes a lot more than we really want to, A lot more than we really need to. And so we can look and say, Well, Why am I not saying no? I want to say no. Maybe after we say yes, We spend the next three hours wishing we'd said no. So we can start to really look and say, What is it that I'm afraid of? If I say no, Why? What is so terrifying? About that. And we can even feel when we're reflecting on that. So in your time alone, If that's something that's coming up for you, You can feel the contraction just thinking about it. So great, You're in space, You're emptying your cups. Open up to what's here. Feel it. Use mindfulness, Inquire, Investigate. What's really driving this? You know, The fear that they'll never ask me to do something again, The fear that I won't be accepted, The fear that I won't be included. Can I balance that out with the fact that if I'm always saying yes to things I don't want to do, If I'm saying yes when I know Adding one more thing on my schedule is going to create more stress. Is it really bringing me that sense of acceptance and inclusion that I want? Or is it in fact when I have more space in my day? When I can empty my cup, When I can be here and being instead of always doing, Do I actually feel a greater sense of ease? In being versus always having to be on, Always having to do something. And then also to be looking at, And I'm just going to offer a couple little suggestions as pointers for for our time off time when you're on your own for the retreat, To look at how much we are overflowing our cups with information. I mean, We live in the information age. Anything we want to know is at our fingertips. There is a two hour podcast on that topic, And there are 2000 two hour podcasts on that topic that will lead to 10 other topics. And just how much of the time we spend plugged in filling our cups, Right? That it seems, Again, Because I think our culture has kind of said, Well, More knowledge is good too, Right? More information. It's good. But if we're going just from one podcast or even one Dharma talk to the next, And we're not giving time for anything to settle in. Our cups are too full. It's not getting in. In fact, If anything, We're just using these things as a distraction from feeling what's here. And in particular, When we think about like a Dharma talk, Right, What it is that's being pointed to, The piece. The contentment, That sense of ease, That sense of really that sense of connection, Of wholeness, Of belonging, Right? It's not found in the you know listening from to going from one dharma talk to the next one podcast to the next it's in noticing that habit energy that contracted habit energy and instead of being propelled forward it's noticing it and feeling it because that's what's happening and mindfulness is being with what's happening and investigating. What's being motivated here? What do I think is going to happen on the other side here? And is it, In fact, Just here? So to also just notice how much we are we are plugged in taking in more information i mean maybe we can repeat a few little bits of nuggets of information and impress someone but it's not becoming our lived experience and in the dharma this should be our lived experience we want to hear the teachings look at what they're you know we're pointing to something right we're pointing to something here and then it's for you to see for yourself if this is true. So that it's not just remaining as an intellectual theory. But that in fact becomes your lived experience. Because wisdom. Isn't knowledge. Wisdom is lived experience. We need a certain amount of information and then it's that experience, That going in and testing it out and seeing for ourselves. So So just to maybe be mindful of just how much of the time we're plugged in. I was talking with someone yesterday and she was saying, Because we were talking about this as well, How much she has these little earbuds, And I have them too. She has them in so much of the day even when they're not in it feels like they're in like I mean we're just waiting for them to make it an implant right where we don't even have to put the earbuds in and uh you know, So every time we're doing something, We can't do the dishes or we're preparing dinner, We're listening to a podcast, You know, Or we're going for a walk and we're listening to another podcast, You know, And we're at the gym and we're listening to another podcast. I mean, Think about that we don't even listen to music, Like we used to remember in the gym, Like, Used to be the gym. Of course, They would play the music. They would have the selection for us. And then we got the CDs. And I remember having my little CD player at the gym. And it was very exciting that you could listen to your own music as you were at the gym. And now we've got these little devices and how quickly it's like oh not that song not that song like we can't even nope nope we're passed forward nope that one's not going to do I got to get to the next one or just again the podcast the constant information like why aren't we even just listening to music when we're at the gym? Right? Because it's so much about more information, More is better. It's filling our cups, Overflowing. At that point, It's not information, It's a distraction. It's just simply a distraction and I think each of us just to be honest I'm not saying to not ever listen to podcasts I get the irony I'm giving a dharma talk here and some of this will be listened to later on insight timer right so um yes I am putting out some of this information as well and I'm also constantly cautioning that these teachings are wonderful and we are so blessed and so lucky to have these teachings and they've been passed on. But if you're just going from one Dharma talk to the next. Then it's that same mindset, More is better. That's not necessarily true. And then our phones right so of course so much of this is connected to our phones and while our phones can be useful many of you are most likely on your phone on insight timer right now connecting into this so so we don't want to throw any of this stuff out with you know throwing the baby out with the bath water definitely technology has its place it has its usefulness but it's also become like what we reach to just any time There's a break. Instead of resting after maybe you're in a meeting or again you're on a talk, Instead of taking after that meeting just a few moments to let whatever information settle in, To give a little bit of space, We immediately reach for the phone. Who texted me? Who emailed me? Right? And so again, It's just we're overflowing the cup. It's not rest. Every time we reach for our phone, That's not rest. That's stimulation. And it's very much often a distraction. And so to also, Again, I'm kind of giving these broader, You know, In my thoughts on this, But Everyone has to look at this for themselves, But Do we need to be available 24-7? Do we need to take our phone every time we go for a walk? I mean, We used to walk quite easily without phones. We used to drive to the store quite easily without our phones. Or at least, At the very least, Can you turn the notifications off? Or can you have them set on a do not disturb so that they automatically are off for a certain amount of time? Again I know some people's their jobs and maybe your kids there's there's different obligations and responsibilities that each of us have so I'm just kind of throwing out some framework but for us to look at this because We are looking, I know they've done studies where people are looking at their phone. I mean, I think sometimes they say like 100 and something times a day. I mean, That's like constantly like, What's it say now? What's it say now? And I do want to help to put a little seed. For each of us here, That every time we're reaching for the phone, Our cup is overflowing. We're filling it. We're feeling it. We need to empty the cup, Not to fill the cup. We can't learn anything if we're constantly filling the cup. We can't see all of the underlying habit energy that is driving us so much of the time. We can't see it if our cup is always overflowing. So to really be honest with ourselves, To look in the ways in which it's just the habitual energy of just reaching, Which is very much again based on what our culture says is good what other people will tell us is good what we have now internalized to believe is good as well so that we can be more thoughtful about how we're living our lives to integrate our practice our spiritual path should not be separate from our lives it's not like well I have my work life over here and then I have my spiritual life over here that we want to integrate The two. And so taking the time like we're going to do today to slow down, To turn off the noise, To be still, To empty our cups is, I feel, Very very valuable worthwhile time and to do these on a quite regular basis and we will I will start offering this a little bit more regularly again at least for the next couple months until I need to travel again so that I can also give us the structure for these retreats because I find them to be incredibly helpful but you can also just Maybe every Saturday morning you take an hour or two and you just say, That's my time. I'm going to be on airplane mode. Maybe you have a partner, Maybe you have kids and you even say to them, Hey, I'm going to go I'm going to go to the park for a couple hours. And hey, When I come back, You guys tell me what you want to do. Like, Let's go to the beach, Or let's go for whatever it is. Then I want to do what's important for you guys, If I can just have this time just a couple hours away on my own, And to spend that time thoughtfully. The way that I offer these half-day retreats, It's not… well, Sorry, A couple things first. Silence is important. Silence is important. If you find yourself going to the park or, Again, Someone's in your house, We don't have to be weird about it and go, Oh, I can't talk, Right? We can talk for a moment if something kind of happens, Interrupts us. We don't want to be, We don't want to make this awkward. But as best we can, We want to try and practice novel silence. It's very helpful to not talk for a few hours. And definitely to put our phones on airplane mode. I know now obviously they're not because we're all online doing this but when we're done if you can put your phone on airplane mode so that for the next two and a half hours your you're not getting any notifications, You're not getting any interruptions. Of course if you're going to do some meditation during that time you can still use your insight timer bell on airplane mode, It doesn't have to be on to be able to do it and so for the time on your own it's not necessarily that you're spending the next two and a half hours meditating and I wouldn't even recommend doing that because even meditation we can kind of take that idea well just more is good, More is good and And I find some balance in there is helpful. Because what we're trying to do is integrate this into into doing but mindfully doing so you might decide that you want to go for a mindful walk after this right we've been sitting for a while and and you just want to go for a mindful walk so obviously no phone no earbuds you just go for a walk maybe you just walk around your neighborhood for a little bit maybe you're just maybe you are in a situation where your family's upstairs you're in the basement and you just you do a walking meditation around your uh you know you kind of pick a little area and you you're just kind of walking back and forth and very slowly so a mindful walk being different than walking meditation walking meditation being a very slow uh movement just kind of going back and forth in the same path uh and i would use your insight timer bell if that's case if that's the case and set maybe a 10 minute uh doing a walking meditation Maybe it's doing some mindful movement, So maybe you decide you're going to do a little bit of yoga, Maybe some tai chi or some qigong or some stretching and but you're going to do it mindfully, Right? You're going to notice that habit energy as you're stretching into warrior two and then all of a sudden the thought's already at warrior three and or what's going to happen next and you notice it because now you've got the space, You notice it, You feel that I've got to get to the next thing. " And you breathe and you feel and you come back and you go, What you keep seeing every time we do this. Is that the peace is here. In this moment. The peace didn't leave, Our attention left the peace. So every time we notice and we come back and we give ourselves the space for this, Right, So we recognize we're doing some mindful movement and it starts to bring more awareness to that habit energy when it's starting to take over. So we can do some movement, We of course can do some sitting meditation as well, Absolutely, And you can use your insight timer bell so I would encourage not doing any guided meditations just maybe you just do a short 10-minute meditation or 20-minute meditation use your bell for the to set the time we can do some mindful eating. We're going to have a few hours between now and when we meet again at noon. Of course, I'm going to do some eating, Right? And often when we're eating, Think about how much when we're eating, It's just that automatic response to answering emails, To be putting on a video, To be listening to a podcast, We're rarely tasting our food, We're just shoveling it in trying to finish it then because we're kind of in this oh more from that oh next video you know we're kind of oh that wasn't the right talk right it's kind of creates all this um It kind of fuels the habit energy. And our cup is simply overflowing. And really mindfully eating when we don't have our attention on anything else, When we really are just eating and feeling the texture of the food, Feeling the taste, Chewing it properly. It's very healthy for us to eat that way. We have a lot of digestive problems in our society. And so it's also very, It's just a very healthy thing for us to do. But it's also, When we pause and eat mindfully, We're emptying our cups. When we when we make a cup of tea and we sit and just and maybe that's you want to just sit and you want to sit outside for many of us the weather's quite nice right now it might be depending upon where you are in the world but you know just sit outside and we're just sipping our cup of tea and just hearing the sounds and uh seeing what's seeing what's you know kind of in our environment and um breathing mindfully and just really feeling um you know being with what's here right That's also part of our retreat. And so sitting, Doing nothing, Sitting, Sitting, Drinking a cup of tea, A cup of coffee, Some water, And and also we can do some journaling, Some journaling as well right. I wouldn't recommend, Especially for such a short retreat, I wouldn't read anything even if it's a dharma book because What we're trying to do right now is to empty our cups. And to empty our cups, We need to be able to see what's happening, Right? You know, Or sorry, Once we've emptied our cups, It's to really see what's happening, Not to then just fill it right away with something else. So I would suggest that you don't read anything as well, But you can do a little bit of journaling because perhaps there's some insight, Something that's coming up that you're recognizing, And you want to just write a little bit about it so um so there's there's a lot of different things that we can be doing on our retreat time but it's always you know trying to be trying to honor noble silence as best we can airplane mode on the phone when we're not connected here for the the parts of the retreat and and mindfully and that we're doing everything mindfully we're slowing down we're emptying the cup and we're being able to see then what it is that's happening so that we can feel that habit energy real time and soften into it and be with it right and so when I say soften we're not pushing it away we're we're opening to what's here And every time we do that, Just as we discussed last Sunday on our Dharma Talk, This is where so much healing is taking place. So much healing that is that is the wounds that are fueling so much of our habit energy i'm not saying they're the cause but they definitely add on a lot of fuel and and every time we're with what's here and we're not fighting what's happening or experience we're not trying to get to some other experience we're simply here with what's here and using the RAIN acronym and mindfulness, Using self-compassion, Getting closer to what's here, We start to heal some of those wounds that are driving, That are at least adding on a lot of fuel to the habit energy as well. So I'm going to recommend actually though the first thing that I would suggest you do once we hang up from this part of the call is just to jot down kind of roughly a schedule for yourself. Having a schedule on private retreats is really important. And so just of the things that I've said, You can do mindful walking, You can do mindful movement, Mindful eating, Mindful sitting and doing nothing, Mindful journaling, You know, Sitting meditation, Walking meditation, Just kind of jot down a rough idea. It's not something that you've got to stick to, And it doesn't mean you can't decide that, No, Actually, I think I'm going to do something else. But it also just gives us a little bit more kind of keeps those guardrails on where we can kind of go, I've done an hour, That's enough. You know, Now back to my chasing. So it gives us, It just gives a little bit of structure. I've done a lot of private retreats and some very long private retreats and having that schedule, While we don't want to feel like it's becoming a burden to us, It does provide some structure that can be quite helpful for us. And so just, You know, Little bits, 10 minutes here, Minutes there i mean we're only going to be on our own for um you know two to two and a half hours so because i know there's a couple questions and i'll answer those questions in a moment so it's not a lot of time it's not a lot of time but this is valuable time this is so important for us to take this time to empty our cups, To notice how we keep filling our cups, How our lives are not really aligned with what it is we most want, How our actions are not really aligned and most of it just just coming from the conditionings of our culture, From what other people have expected of us but what we have now internalized as well to be expected of ourselves. These aren't truths. Busyness is not necessarily good. You know, Being more productive is not necessarily a good thing. Again, I'm not saying that, You know. There's times when we're going to be productive, There's times when we have some energy and there's some things to do, But when it becomes this punitive thing that I can't sit and be, That I always have to be doing something, That's a problem. When we're not able to say no to someone, When we recognize our cups are a little bit too full, That starts to become a problem. We're starting now to become very misaligned with what it is we must want. Okay, So I hope that kind of covered the general instructions of what we're going to do, Kind of our focus, Emptying our cups, Not filling our cups, Looking at the habit energy, And for each of us to explore this for ourselves to see what's really happening. Said Jamie you get a direct yeah if you don't eat mindfully you get stomach issues yeah yeah oh thanks Gloria thank you Okay and I'll just, I see there's just a couple questions so I'll just answer a couple and then we'll, We'll break for the silent part. Oh, Alice, So when I'm saying, What do I think is on the other side of this moment that isn't already here? It will be your prompt. Yeah, That's a great prompt. Because there is this kind of this belief that there's There's something over there, But then when we get there, It's this moment again. Right? But then we're like, Oh, But no, It must be the next moment. It can never be this moment. There's nothing on the other side of this moment. Nada. Nothing. It's always this moment. And if you can't be okay in this moment, If you cannot be okay in this moment, Let go of all your plans, You're never going to be okay. Everyone's so busy planning when you're going to be enlightened in the future, When we're going to wake up in the future, When we're finally going to live. You know, Our best lives in the future if you can't do it now. It's not going to happen in the future because the future will be now. This is why our practice is always now it's now it's what's here now the peace that you are seeking is here now but other people like you're saying uh alice other people want to add on to us oh your husband's gone now what's your purpose right because everyone's very caught up in this mentality and it's like you know. I mean, Think of the number of books that have been written about finding your purpose. I mean, You'd think people would have found their purpose by now. But notice just that, The idea that I have to have a purpose. What is it? I don't know what my purpose is. Notice how much, How much. You know, Kind of stirring up energy that causes inside of us, I need to know my purpose, I need to know. And it's like, Just notice that, Notice that. And breathe and feel it. Wow. Because it's just. You know, This idea that we're looking for that one purpose, And once I find it, Then I'll finally be okay. And I'm not saying that we don't have. Um. . . That there's not things that we're doing in the world that can be very helpful and that really align with what it is that we most want. But I feel like that too just kind of becomes a carrot that keeps getting put out in front of everyone. And And what about just being? What about just being a good person, Being a good friend, Being a good parent? Just being, You know, Being there when people need us, Being able to set boundaries when we need to, Being able to say no when we need to, You know, That's a pretty good, A pretty good life. But we have this idea it's got to be something big, It's got to be something grand, It's got to be my purpose. Because then I'm going to get what it is I really want, But there is nothing on the other side of this moment that isn't here right now. So thank you for sharing that. Thank you for sharing that, Alice. And thank you, Ella. Thank you for the donation. Thank you. Oh, And Jodi-Anne. So you were brought up to shop every day and keep busy constantly. Yeah, And then, Yeah, We can, So it sounds like maybe there's a little bit of an overcorrection. And that happens, Too. And it definitely happened here, Too. I definitely took a kind of big swing away from everything. And then you kind of start to find that balance back. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, Yeah. Yeah, So you're finding your way back to it because, You know, Shopping every now and then is not a bad thing. Sometimes we need things. This isn't to impugn any of these activities, Going out with friends, If that's what you like to do, Like there's nothing wrong with that. You know, There's nothing wrong with wanting to progress in your career or maybe you do want to have a little bit bigger house, Maybe you have a big family and there's nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. It's just that the mindset that we have from our culture of kind of more is better, Always get more, Always bigger is better, It's never ending. It's never ending. You'll get the bigger house and then you'll want the next bigger house. You'll get the promotion and then you'll want the next promotion. Like there's never a moment of even just savoring and enjoying what it is that you've been able to that you've been able to achieve. Like, Yeah, No problem with any of that. But none of those things were going to complete you. None of them. But that's the lie that we're fed, That this is all going to complete me, That somehow if you know, If I can just be busy enough and productive enough and achieve enough, I'll finally feel whole inside. And in fact, I think more than anything, There's kind of an emptiness that people feel because there's so much expectation on what these external things are going to deliver and while there's that initial high from getting it and and also the the habit energy falling away for a little bit because we got it, It doesn't take long before it starts back up and then there can be such a sense of disappointment like I thought this was going to be the thing I thought this was it. I know in my own life. I mean, I thought that so many times as I was progressing in my career and then when I had my dream job and I was like, This is going to be it. And I was like, Man, I hate it. But this was gonna be it. Finally i had had the success and it's like but i know i i don't feel any better for it i felt initially better and then it once again it fades because it's a mind state fades and then it was just back to what else and what else so so i do want to you know i'm glad you brought that up jodianne too because I don't mean to sound like our phones are bad. No, They're not. They're helpful. Many of you are using your phones right now. You know, Technology is not bad. Getting together with friends is not bad. You know, Learning some information is not a bad thing, But we do seem to miss the balance of it. And I think what pushes us can kind of teeter us one side to the next is this, Oh, If I just get that, I'll be happy. And then, Oh, If I just push all that away, Then I'll be happy. And that is still kind of that mindset of I have to do something in order to find the peace. And when I say happiness, What I really mean is peace, Peace, The highest form of happiness. That if I, Yeah, If I can get this and push this away, You know, Then I'll get something. And it's still that same mindset, I'm going to get something in the future. There's a me here, A solid independent me that somehow, If I can just get fast enough, I can get this happiness for it. And it's to recognize oh it's just it's the constant chatter it's the broadcast like we did with the station me analogy it's just the broadcast me me me me me what do i want what do i not want what do they think of me what can i get over there and just to notice it's just the broadcast there's nothing behind the broadcast solid and independent and uh and to just feel that energy to breathe and feel to be with what's here and then to notice as all that habit energy just even just intensity backs off just a bit, Just enough to go, Ah, That we don't fight it, We're not saying this is wrong, That it's here. And we just, Oh, And we feel again, It's like, Oh, Actually, It's okay, I'm okay. And we find once again. That the peace was here. That it wasn't over there, That it was always here. So so balance thank you again for bringing that up so that we can really make sure we're not trying to go to the other extreme either although we do and i did it as well like we do tend to do that and uh but then we start to you know we have these times together and and hopefully these pointers that are helpful that go okay let's find the right balance that works for each of us each of us is a little bit different uh we have different energy levels different needs to be around people or or needs to be more alone so we have to find that for ourselves. It's what works for ourselves. And that's what's helpful about this is to just. . . Have this space to be able to look at that. Thank you, Ruth. Thank you for the donation. Yeah, Jamie, Yeah. Yeah yeah and actually yeah Vashti I mean it's it's just it's become so big like yeah being an influencer is the big thing I mean and even our kids like they used to say they wanted to be firemen or a policeman or a doctor or a lawyer and now they want to be influencers right because you know if more people are looking at me isn't that better Not necessarily. And if that's, I mean, In fact, I think that's probably one of the I really say it's got to be one of the most damaging to your psyche lines of work to be in. I mean, Think about the constant need for that validation. How many likes did I get today? How many comments? That constant needing other people to tell us that we're good. That constant trying to create an image of ourselves, Of our lives, Which is whatever image you're putting out there like that, Like it's just, It's, It's, It's. It's not reality because you know they're trying to get the exact spot and the exact lighting and then the filter and to look a certain way and always putting out their highlight reels right they're not putting out the images when they're sitting on the sofa board right when they're feeling bad because someone left a bad comment they're putting that out they're just they put out this fantasy and it's very hard for us to you know this is why I'm very much I think social media is really is I mean, Just think it's the worst thing for us as humans. I just think there's way too much potential damage than there is benefit to it. And I think the algorithms are smarter than us. It's hard to spend any amount of time on those without being pulled into mindlessness. They are the definition of mindlessness, Not mindfulness. And it's very hard to not get pulled into that comparing. And our little lizard brain seeing all these images and wow, But they look so happy. It doesn't know the difference. And all of a sudden we're feeling badly about ourselves. So yeah, I'm not a fan, Not a fan of those, Yeah. Yeah, And a lot of those likes are just boys. Yeah, It's just, Yeah, Yeah. So anyway, I think we have a good framework for understanding the things that are more aligned with what it is we most want, To find that balance, That balance that works for each of us. We're all a little different. We have different obligations, Different responsibilities. And so it's for each of us to take this time to just slow down, After we hang up put your phone on airplane mode, Write a schedule, Kind of just have a rough outline, Just a rough outline of how you want to spend the next just a little over two hours, And then we'll meet back here in two hours and 15 minutes, Which is noon pacific time in the U. S. , And then we'll do a meditation together and then just, You know, Might be some more words that come out here, Maybe a little bit more of a closing reflection but also to give you the space to share because I think it's always wonderful to see what people share after a couple hours of being on their own, Just to see what comes up and I think that that's also can really help us to to appreciate these conditions and to appreciate what it is that we see when we take the time to empty our cups. Okay so I think with that we will go ahead and come to an end and then we will meet right back up so that I have the other live set up to meet in two hours and 14 minutes now and then just go see for yourself, See what's happening, See what's happening, Be mindful, Notice what's happening and and see what comes up. Okay, Thanks you guys. I'm going to go ahead and close this out.