How to know you are having a trauma response and what to do about it?
A little guide by Heidi Fisher.
What is a trauma response?
That's a great question with no easy answer.
It can be a you know it when you feel it or see it type situation.
A simplified explanation would be that it's a response to the current environment as though the individual were in the traumatic one.
It's usually unwarranted,
Though not always.
It can be exhibited through thoughts,
Behaviors,
Emotions,
And body sensation.
It's most likely an unconscious response to a trigger.
It's important to know that these types of responses are generally automatic.
Often our nervous system kicks in and sends its human towards what its idea is of towards a pathway of safety.
This is not to say that folks aren't responsible for their behavior,
But rather it's a recognition that being triggered is often outside of a person's control.
Over time,
Usually through therapy,
Folks can retrain their nervous system and lessen triggers.
It's common for stressful periods to cause prior maladaptive coping to be reactivated.
It's important not to belittle or downplay a trauma response.
For the person experiencing it,
The feelings are real and happening now.
Don't say things like,
Get over it,
You're overreacting,
Quit being dramatic,
You shouldn't be feeling that way.
Instead,
Do say things like,
I can understand why this would be frightening.
Have you felt this way before?
Can you help me understand what's happening?
Would you like to move to a quieter room?
One of the best ways to know you are having a trauma response is to learn what your triggers are and what the responses typically are to them and why.
This may sound suspiciously easy,
But in fact,
It's usually a fairly hard process.
This is often the work that's done in therapy.
Once you know what they are,
The next task is to cultivate an ability to recognize when they are presently happening.
Which again,
May sound easy,
But I'm here to assure you that it is not.
This takes a large amount of introspection,
Persistence,
And patience,
But it can be done.
The final step after you are able to recognize what is presently happening is to figure out what you're going to do about it,
And over time,
Mastering your ability to do such.
What works or what's needed will vary widely between each individual.
Additionally,
There are often changes over folks' lifespan with coping strategies and needs.
Likewise,
Each individual trigger may have a variety of responses that are useful.
In order to make this a little more concrete,
I'll share a personal example.
Through lots of therapy and my own inner work,
I've been able to determine a huge trigger for me is when I don't feel seen.
This is usually in a situation where I'm in treatment with another professional,
But it can be with anyone.
Some examples of this might be when I'm feeling ignored or misunderstood,
A refusal to meet me halfway,
Denial of help when I've requested it,
A lack of awareness around what I think are obvious signs of my distress,
Not being given enough time or space to express myself,
Feeling like someone is trying to fix me,
Or a purposeful disregard for things I've outright explained are triggers or problems for me.
Personally,
This probably took me about five or so years of therapy,
Really,
To understand all this.
I personally have experienced long-standing complex trauma,
So you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know why these are triggers for me.
If this trigger occurs,
Here's what some of my likely responses are.
I might go into a shutdown,
Which means I'll have an inability to respond or engage.
I may have some unconsolable crying.
I may have a huge anxiety spike or even a panic attack.
I may dissociate.
I may have thought spirals about how everything and everyone hates me or they're unsafe.
My inner critic will be really loud.
These can occur in any combination and to varying degrees.
With these responses,
Some of them I knew or figured out pretty early in therapy,
Some even before,
And others I've been able to recognize somewhere along the way over about 15 years.
Most recently,
I've been able to recognize when a trauma response is happening or relatively quickly.
This is a huge development and it's still in its infancy.
I haven't totally gotten to the,
And what am I going to do about it stage,
But I've also had some progress there as well.
Those that I have found help are that I sit and spend time with myself.
I think about my feelings.
I talk with my trauma.
I listen to my own meditations and audios.
I do thought-stopping.
I find healthy ways to comfort myself.
I do my writings and other similar things.
I speak with my therapist or other supports.
In complete honesty,
I wasn't ever sure that I would get to this stage,
And so I want to share that I had that thought and yet here I am.
So I hope that that can be an encouragement to anyone else who isn't sure they will get here.
And that,
My friends,
Is my little lesson on trauma responses.
I hope that you learned something and that it was helpful.
Have a great day.
See you in the next one.
