So in this talk,
I wanted to share another technique for letting go of anger.
Because it seems that my previous techniques for letting go of anger was one of my most
Popular recordings,
But it also was one of my lowest rated recordings.
And I feel that that's not only because people that are listening to it might be angry in
General so they just rated my track low because they're angry.
I don't think that's what it is.
I think it's because I might have not approached the talk with as much compassion and understanding
As I could have because it's not as simple as I may have said to just let go of anger
By just saying I love you or just remembering some simple idea.
And although it might not be as simple as that,
By trying it and working at it,
Over
Time it may be just as simple as that,
But it is hard.
It's much harder than that.
And I think that another aspect which recently has come to mind and has become important
For me is the aspect of forgiveness and the aspect of allowing.
And so I think that when things like anger arise,
I've noticed when anger arises in me
I know it.
Or when anger arises in my friend or another emotion,
They'll reach out to me sometimes
And be like,
I'm feeling this anger.
How do I stop it?
How do I change it?
How do I make it go away?
I don't want to be bad.
I don't want to create more problems for myself.
And I just tell them,
You noticed it.
That's the majority of it.
Now that you've noticed it,
There's nothing really you need to do.
That might be difficult to hear sometimes,
Because I want to do something about it.
I don't want to feel angry.
But if I know that I don't want to feel angry,
And I feel anger,
Then I can,
By knowing that
I don't want to feel anger,
By knowing I don't want to be an angry person,
I'm in this paradigm
Where I feel this anger,
Maybe it's for something,
Maybe it's for something,
And at the same
Time I know I don't want to be angry.
So now,
I'm looking at this anger and I'm saying,
I don't like this anger.
I don't want this anger to be here anymore.
But at the same time,
I know that I'm not the anger anymore,
Because I don't want the
Anger.
And so I've created a space,
By just noticing,
I've created a space between me and the anger.
And so,
Say Joe Schmo says something,
And it really pisses me off,
And I feel this anger
For Joe Schmo,
And then really quickly I remember,
Oh,
I don't want to be an angry person.
And so then I want to do something.
How do I stop this anger?
How do I get rid of this anger?
And then I ask my friend,
I'm so annoyed at myself because I can't get rid of this anger.
I don't want to be angry at Joe Schmo.
But that already is the key of it.
I don't need to do anything,
Because I just have that intention.
And so by knowing that I don't want to be angry,
And feeling anger,
And knowing that
It's okay to feel anger,
And I don't need to change anything about it,
I just can investigate
It almost,
And make it a little bit of a game.
For me,
What would happen sometimes is,
As siblings do,
Me and my brother would get into
Little conflicts.
But when I got firm on the spiritual path,
Like really firm,
I knew I didn't want to
Be mad at my brother.
So I kind of did something ridiculous.
I told him,
Hey brother,
If I get angry at you,
You can tell me to stop,
And I'll listen
To you.
If I get angry at me,
Tell me that I told you that I don't want to be angry at you anymore.
And he didn't really have to even do that again,
Because it woke me enough,
And it made
Me aware enough that whenever I would feel the anger towards him,
I knew I wouldn't be
Able to do anything physically about it,
Or even say anything,
Because I had already
Made this deal with him,
Sort of.
But I still felt these feelings of like,
There was one time I remember I felt like I wanted
To even almost puke,
Because I was so mad.
But then,
Because I wasn't letting the anger out in that way,
I was able to sort of investigate
This feeling.
Instead of trying to change it or stop it,
There's this anger,
And the anger is a bunch
Of ideas paired with some sensation.
So the sensation was this intense feeling of wanting to throw up.
My throat was constricted,
And maybe my abdomen hurt,
Or something like that.
And so when I was able to,
Instead of saying the words and things that I wanted to say,
I knew with such knowing,
I really knew,
I don't want to feel this way anymore,
I don't
Want to be this person anymore,
I don't want to be angry anymore.
I was able to,
But at the same time,
I don't want to feel bad about being angry,
It's a
Natural thing,
It's totally normal,
There's nothing wrong with it.
So then I looked,
Okay,
What is going on here?
And I told my brother,
Hey,
You're making me feel this way,
And I think I just need
To leave for a second,
But I love you.
Maybe I didn't even say I love you,
I probably couldn't say it at that point.
And then I was able to just relax those spots in my body,
Or even breathe into them,
Or
Maybe I had to go outside and yell or something,
But it wasn't like,
No longer was that anything
To do with my brother.
My brother had just activated that spot in me that's still holding on to something.
And so basically,
The technique here isn't really a technique so much as the art of forgiveness,
Because there's nothing wrong with being angry at all.
It's okay to feel angry.
When the challenge arises,
When you act on the anger,
When you punch somebody because
You feel angry,
Or when you do something harmful because you feel angry,
But there's nothing
Wrong at all with feeling anger.
And there's nothing that you need to change when you feel anger.
And so when you realize that while you're feeling angry,
Like,
Oh hey,
I don't need
To do anything about this,
I just need to investigate it,
Or I just need to breathe
And release and let go and surrender.
And sometimes it takes some time.
I've noticed this too in myself,
Where I feel this emotion or this feeling,
And it might
Even last a few days,
This annoyance towards someone.
And by me trying to stop it,
Or do something to change it,
It almost makes me think that
I need to believe in it at the same time.
But if I'm just like,
Whoa,
This is an annoyance I feel towards this person,
And here are some
Ideas of why it's valid for me to feel that way,
But I know I want to love everybody,
And I know I don't want to feel angry,
So then I can just sort of let this,
Whatever's
Going on here,
Be there.
And then I know it will dissipate eventually,
But I just let it be there,
And I'm not going
To involve myself in it.
I'm not going to say anything to that person.
I'm just going to keep going on with my life.
And it's not like I'm avoiding anything,
But I'm also not going to feed it or believe in
It.
And it's kind of like a balancing act,
But it's not something that there's any wrong
Way of doing it,
Or right way of doing it.
So going back to this analogy that I had in the previous lesson,
Or the previous technique,
Where there's this story that Michael Singer tells,
Or a similar story,
Where you might.
.
.
I don't know if it was exactly like this,
How I told it,
Or even how Michael Singer
Told it,
But basically,
We have these emotions that are triggered by things,
And so maybe
There's this red car that your ex used to drive,
And you had a really,
Really bad breakup,
And that red car was nothing to do with it,
But that red car just reminds you of her every
Time,
Or him,
Or they.
And so this red car just has a really strong trigger in you that creates a lot,
That brings
Up a lot of stuff.
And so you're driving along one day,
And you see this red car,
And then all of a sudden,
All these emotions come.
And so then,
Knowing that that's just a natural thing that happens,
And that it's not wrong
Or right,
Or there's nothing that needs to be done about it,
You can sort of just make
A game out of it,
Almost.
And it is really,
Really difficult to make it a game and just play with it,
But if you
Know that you can make it a game,
And you know that it's not serious,
And you know that
Even though you might feel like it's so,
So real in the moment,
Then you can just see,
Oh,
I feel this jealousy,
Oh,
I feel this anger,
Oh,
I feel these things,
And you don't
Even need to label it or anything,
But you can if you want to.
But knowing that you don't need to feel bad,
Or you need to resist,
Or you need to do anything
To make it go away,
And that it will go away on its own,
Or you can do things,
Too.
There's nothing wrong with that,
Either.
You can do breath work,
Or you can do this I love you technique.
You can give it gratitude.
You can just say thank you.
I don't know why you came right now,
But I believe that you're here to help me grow.
I don't know why you came here,
Red car,
But I believe you're here to help me grow.
Just knowing,
Oh,
There's these ideas of why I should be angry about this.
There's these ideas of why this makes sense,
That I'm just suddenly triggered by this red
Car,
But then looking at the feelings,
Where's their tension in my body?
Where's their tightness?
Does it feel like I literally am going to throw up if I don't yell or something?
Maybe I can see if I relax my throat or my stomach.
Would that help anything?
Maybe it won't,
And maybe you need to reach out to a friend that can just help guide and
Support you through it,
And remind you that there's nothing wrong,
And that you haven't
Done anything wrong,
And that you're totally fine,
And it's totally natural to feel anger.
It's totally natural to feel fear or anything.
It's all natural,
And it's all part of the journey.
Knowing that it's all natural,
And it's all part of the journey,
And we all go through
These things,
That in and of itself is so relieving,
And knowing that even just noticing
Something is most of the journey.
Just being able to notice it and be like,
Hey,
You're here.
I want to transform you,
But even as you are,
You're beautiful,
Anger,
Even as you are,
You're beautiful,
Anger.
By just saying that,
It transforms it already.
Thank you.
I hope this helped,
And I hope I came and I spoke from a place of deeper compassion
And understanding.
I appreciate you and your journey.
Peace,
Peace,
Peace.
