A Powerful Tool For Letting Go Of Anger

I found this tool especially useful for developing a better relationship with family members who I would often quarrel with. This technique, however, can be employed to let go of any unwanted habit patterns or frustrating emotions. It is easy to use and applicable in everyday life.
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Transcript

I want to share a technique for letting go of unwanted patterns and unwanted behaviors that we experience in relationships.

This technique is specifically good for letting go of anger,

But it can be used for any emotion,

Any unwanted emotion.

So the first thing is to realize that we're in this situation.

And that's the most tricky part.

But once you have the intention and you're firmly established in it that I want to feel better,

I want to be happier,

I want my relationships to be smoother,

Then it becomes natural.

We notice,

We get warned internally.

Oh,

You're about to react in a way that will lead down a slippery slope.

And so we start noticing this.

Somebody annoys us.

They say something we don't like.

And we notice these sensations.

And whereas a hundred times before or a thousand times before,

We responded accordingly to those sensations.

We gave in to them.

This time we have an intention and we realize the intention.

So instead of responding right away,

We mentally say,

I love you.

And now it doesn't have to be directed to anything or anyone.

But just by repeating this and imagining a time when you felt true love.

And if you have not felt that,

Then imagining what it would be like to feel true love or imagining a being that embodies love.

And if that's too hard,

We can just say,

I love you.

And that's enough.

But by saying this and realizing that this emotion,

This feeling is impermanent,

It won't be there forever,

And by succumbing to it,

We're only in strengthening it.

We're only giving it more power.

So the next time it will be a little bit more difficult to let go of.

But by just focusing on it,

I love you and relaxing our bodies and not resisting anything,

But just relaxing and not reacting as much as possible and saying,

I love you.

We're able to let go of these emotions.

And once we feel that the emotion is sufficiently past,

We can respond however we like,

But without the power of the emotion behind it,

Without the power of the past behind it,

Being able to make decisions from the present moment.

And now,

Of course,

In the beginning,

This might be very tricky.

We might find that we react more times than we can prevent ourselves or let go of the reaction,

But by remembering to just repeat,

I love you mentally.

Whenever we feel these negative emotions or emotions that we perceive as negative,

And whenever we feel that we need to react in them,

Just know we don't.

Just understand that they will pass and it's okay.

This doesn't mean we need to change our behavior externally,

Although we should if it's harmful to others,

But it just means that we take a pause and we let the reaction go.

We let the emotions go so that we become less robotic.

We become more in control of our lives.

And by repeating this I love you mantra throughout the day,

We can slowly begin to purify ourselves and let go of any unwanted feelings and patterns with patience and without resistance or relaxation.

Patience,

Relaxation,

It takes time,

But we just know at our core that eventually we will be there.

Eventually,

We will be at a place where we feel this love all the time.

I love you.

Before I go,

Let's try to practice this I love you technique together.

So imagine you're driving a car and you're late to work or you're late somewhere maybe and someone cuts you off.

They just cut you off super closely.

But you're totally fine,

They're totally fine,

They're just being kind of rude.

Now what do you feel?

You feel some crazy sensations.

You want to start swearing,

You want to get out of the car maybe,

But then you remember.

I want to feel love.

You remember,

Forgive them father for they know not what they do.

Then you just remember I love you,

I love you,

I love you.

You try to feel love and you try to relax your abdomen and your neck muscles and your shoulders and your face and you just mentally say I love you but with your eyes open because you're driving.

And then to your surprise,

The emotion wasn't permanent and didn't last forever.

And by just relaxing your body and repeating I love you,

You're able to quickly overcome it and that's it.

May all beings be happy.

I love you.

Reviews

Great way to get through a really uncomfortable temporary living situation. I will use it for myself, but I will also direct "loving kindness" to those who make me feel unwelcome. Thank you. You reminded me of these practices I used to use. Blessings.