Here's something interesting about self-trust.
You probably don't walk around thinking.
I don't trust myself.
Most of us don't.
What a silly thing to say.
You make decisions,
You solve problems,
You handle your life.
You probably have other people who trust your judgment.
And to get things done.
And yet.
.
.
You can still have a habit of quietly overriding yourself.
You notice you're exhausted,
But you tell yourself to keep going.
Something about a conversation feels.
.
.
A little off or funny.
But to immediately start explaining why.
You're probably overreacting.
I've done this for sure.
You decide what you want.
Then someone questions it and suddenly you're reconsidering the whole thing.
Or you already know the answer,
But you ask four other people just to make sure.
And that's where I think self-trust gets.
Interesting.
Because self-trust isn't simply believing that you are capable of making good decisions.
It's creating a relationship with yourself where what you notice actually matters.
Ah,
Think positive.
What you notice actually matters.
And that relationship.
With yourself.
Is built in some surprisingly small moments.
That moment.
Before you override yourself.
There's usually a You need tiny space.
Between noticing something and talking yourself out of it.
Woof.
It can be a few seconds,
A blink of an eye.
You feel tired.
You notice tension in your body.
You hear yourself thinking.
I don't really want to do this.
Or maybe it's the opposite.
Something interests you,
You want to try it,
There's a little spark of curiosity,
And then the machinery in our brains starts rotating.
But I should.
What will they eat?
Maybe I'm just being difficult.
Maybe I should wait.
I need more information.
I could be wrong.
Sometimes you do need more information.
Sometimes your first reaction isn't the whole story.
I'm not suggesting every feeling is an instruction.
But every feeling is information.
And when you automatically dismiss that information,
You don't even get a chance to understand what it's telling you.
And that is why.
Pause.
Matters.
The pause doesn't give you the answer.
Pause doesn't give you the answer.
This is one of the things I love about mindfulness.
We're not using the pause to magically discover the correct answer.
That's a whole lot of pressure to put on one breath.
Pause.
Simply interrupts.
The automatic response.
Long enough.
For you to hear.
Yourself.
That is real different.
You can notice.
I'm uncomfortable.
I'm tired.
I'm saying yes because I don't want to disappoint anybody.
I'm asking for another opinion because I don't like my own answer.
I'm rushing because uncertainty makes me uncomfortable.
You don't have to immediately fix it.
Any of it.
You are gathering information.
And every time you pause long enough to take your own experience,
Your own experience.
Seriously.
You are practicing self-trust.
I want you to try this the next time you catch yourself.
Second-guessing something.
Don't force yourself to make a decision.
You don't have to make a decision in the split second.
Just pause.
If it feels comfortable,
Put both feet on the floor.
Take a slow breath.
Let your exhale be a little bit longer.
Ask yourself.
What did I notice before I started explaining it away?
Not what's the right answer,
Not what should I do,
Just What did I notice?
Maybe the answer is physical.
My shoulder's tight.
Maybe it's emotional.
I felt relieved when I imagined saying no.
Maybe it's just practical.
I'm tired and I don't want another thing on my calendar.
Can't do it.
That's enough!
Because you're doing something important in that moment.
You're showing yourself.
That you're willing to listen.
To yourself.
Self-trust is built through evidence.
We tend to talk about.
Self-trust as though it's a feeling we're supposed to somehow acquired,
Kind of like intuition.
Like,
I don't know.
I don't think that's particularly helpful.
You don't have to wake up tomorrow overflowing with confidence in every decision you make.
It's not going to happen anyway.
Self-trust is much quieter than that.
You notice yourself.
You pause,
You listen.
And then.
When it's appropriate.
You may.
One small choice.
That respects what you heard.
And you do it again.
And again.
And over time.
.
.
You are creating evidence.
I hear myself.
What I noticed.
Matters.
I can pause instead of automatically overriding myself.
I can listen.
Before I decide.
That's the practice.
Not becoming someone who never doubts themselves.
Not always knowing the answer because you're not.
Just becoming a little less likely to abandon your own voice before you even heard what it has to say.
And the beautiful thing is you don't need some giant life decision to start practicing this.
You're going to get an opportunity before this day is over.
So when that moment comes.
If you can,
Hatch the paws.
And before you ask everyone else what they think,
Give yourself a chance to hear what you think.
That is one small way.
We return to trust.
