Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today I'm going to talk about acceptance.
Acceptance is a practice,
Not a personality trait.
Some days it's easy,
And some days it's gritty and slow and hard.
But every time you soften into what's true,
Even for just a breath,
You're strengthening that inner muscle.
Rather than defining yourself by a single characteristic or an incident,
You need to see yourself as a complete human being.
The strong points and the weak points.
We all have them.
We all have strengths.
Things that we're really good at.
We all have things that we're really bad at.
And being your authentic self is important.
It makes you a full,
Real,
Total person.
It means recognizing those strengths and accomplishments without being overly vain,
And acknowledging your weaknesses without too much self-criticism.
I had problems with this aspect when I had strokes when I was 30.
I couldn't accept the fact that my left side was weak,
That I couldn't play my guitar well anymore,
That I couldn't walk well,
That I had to drag myself around with a cane.
It took time and effort for me to come to accept myself as I was then.
At one point,
I found a friend that I knew in high school who was a great guitar player.
He was giving lessons at a music store.
So I called him up,
I signed up,
And I went every week for about 8 weeks until I finally accepted the fact that my left hand just couldn't move like it used to.
And that was when I finally accepted myself for what I was and always would be,
An okay rhythm guitar player.
For a time after my strokes,
I didn't see myself as a whole person.
I didn't realize it at the time,
But I could realize it later when I looked back.
I saw myself as being broken and incomplete and flawed.
But that really wasn't the case.
The problem was that I was holding on to that old version of myself.
When I thought about it,
I ran my household.
I was the main one raising our two daughters.
I helped out at the school.
I went on all my daughters' field trips.
I ran the Girl Scout troop with 56 kids.
And I did it all while dragging myself around with that cane.
So you can't see yourself based on just what your job is or what you do.
You are what you are.
You see me now as a more complete product,
But I haven't always been this way.
It took time and kindness.
It took practice.
It took work.
It took self-love.
And it took getting in touch with my breath multiple times a day.
Close your eyes now,
And let's get in touch with our breath.
And it doesn't matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Lying down,
Or kicked back in your favorite recliner.
The only thing that truly matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.
So as we start to settle in,
Notice your breath.
We breathe constantly from birth to death,
But notice it.
Maybe a cool sensation in your nose as the breath flows in,
Or the movement of your chest and belly as the breath flows in and flows out.
Let's scan our body.
Relax your face.
Unfurl your brow and unclench your jaw.
Too many people go around being too tense.
Relax your neck.
I roll mine around.
You do what makes you happy,
Because it's always your meditation.
It's your practice.
So you have to do what makes you happy.
Relax your shoulders.
These are places of tension in today's world.
Relax your arms and your hands.
Maybe just let them drop and fall where they will.
Look for any tension in your chest and belly.
Look for any tension in your legs and your feet.
Relax them.
And as you begin to relax,
Let's focus even more on our breath.
Our breath is our anchor.
It's there for us in all movements,
When we're happy,
When we're sad,
And when we're accepting of ourselves just as we are.
Our breath is like a river,
As it flows in and flows out.
Speaking of river,
I want you just to continue to breathe and listen to my voice and continue to relax.
Here I want to introduce a metaphor of acceptance as a river and a swimmer.
So imagine now,
If you will,
That you're standing in a river.
Try to picture it in your mind.
The current is moving,
Whether you want it to or not.
It doesn't ask your permission.
It doesn't slow down because you're tired.
It doesn't speed up because you're ready.
It just moves,
Because that's what rivers do.
Most of us meet life like a swimmer fighting the current,
Bracing against what's already happening.
Pushing back on what we can't control.
And in the process we're exhausting ourselves,
Trying to make the river flow our way.
That is resistance.
And acceptance isn't lying back and letting the river drag you.
It's this.
You stop fighting the current long enough to feel the water as it actually is.
You let your feet find the riverbed.
You let your breath return.
And from that steadiness you choose how to move.
The river hasn't changed.
You have.
Acceptance doesn't change the flow of life.
It changes your relationship to it.
It gives you back the energy you were using to fight the water.
It lets you navigate instead of struggle.
It lets you respond instead of react.
And sometimes acceptance is simply this.
Standing in the river and saying this is the water I'm in today,
Not forever.
And that's not as a verdict,
Just as a moment of truth.
Now here I'm going to pause for a minute and just let you think about this river of acceptance.
And I'll be back in a minute.
Now here I want to continue the metaphor of the river.
So imagine still that you're standing in the shallow river.
The water is cool around your feet,
Moving gently but steadily.
And you can hear the soft rush of the current and see the way it curls around the stones,
The way it continues on its path whether you're ready or not.
Feel that ground,
That riverbed beneath your feet.
It's solid and textured and reliable.
You're not being swept away.
You're simply standing in the flow of life as it is.
Notice how the water moves around you.
It doesn't pause for your preferences.
It doesn't ask if today is a good day.
It just moves.
Again,
Because that's what rivers do.
Let yourself sense the places in your life where the current is moving in ways you didn't choose.
Not to fix anything,
Just to acknowledge the truth of the moment.
Feel the gentle pressure against your legs.
This is what it's like to be alive,
Touched by forces you can't control.
Now just for a minute,
Imagine what it's like to brace against the current,
To push back,
To try to make the river flow your way.
You can feel the tension that rises in your body when you resist what's already happening.
A tightening in your chest,
Holding in the belly,
A clenching in your jaw or your shoulders.
But you don't need to change it.
Just notice the cost of fighting the water.
Now,
Gently,
Without forcing anything,
Imagine releasing that resistance.
Not collapsing,
Not giving up,
Just letting the body stop arguing with the river.
Feel your feet settle more firmly into the riverbed,
And feel your breath return.
Feel the space that opens when you stop pushing against what already is.
The river hasn't changed,
But you have.
And that is acceptance,
The quiet courage to meet reality without armor.
So just continuing to breathe,
Let yourself stand in this river with a sense of groundedness.
The current moves,
But you are not lost in it.
You are simply in a relationship with it.
And you gotta notice how much energy returns to you when you're not fighting the flow.
Acceptance doesn't mean you approve of the situation.
It means you're no longer exhausting yourself by pretending it isn't happening.
When you stop fighting the current,
You regain the freedom to move wisely.
You don't have to know the whole path,
Just the next honest step.
Let the river support you.
Let the ground hold you.
Let your breath guide you.
Now,
If you want to,
If you're willing,
I'd like you to repeat the following positive affirmations,
Either out loud or to yourself,
And I'll say each one twice.
May I meet this moment as it is.
May I meet this moment as it is.
May I soften where I can.
May I soften where I can.
And last one.
May I stand steady where I need to.
May I stand steady where I need to.
Now begin to sense the room around you again.
Feel the actual ground beneath your feet and the air on your skin.
The happiest people in life are able to be themselves,
But you cannot be yourself until you accept yourself.
Now,
Take in a breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth,
Letting out a sigh.
When you're ready,
Open your eyes.
Come back into the room.
Wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive in this moment.
You are perfect just the way you are.
You have to accept that,
And the sooner you do,
The more happy and full your life will be.
Try to carry this steadiness with you into the rest of your day and the rest of your life with the knowledge that you're someone who knows how to stand in the river of life without fighting every wave or fighting the current.
I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session for each and every one of you.
I'm so honored that you've invested some of your precious time here with me.
Till next time!
