Hi and welcome to this meditation.
I'm going to guide you through a brief grounding exercise and then we're going to explore the terrain of belonging.
So wherever you are,
Find yourself in the present moment.
Even if you're moving right now,
I invite you to find a little more stillness than you would have had a few moments ago.
That could be a sense of slowing down a little bit.
It could be a sense of wiggling into the body,
Letting gravity hold you.
It could be releasing any physical tension that you notice you're holding in the jaw,
The brow,
The shoulders,
The belly.
Just taking note of your physical state at this moment.
Are you coming into this meditation with a sense of division inside of you,
Strain on your nervous system,
Chaos?
Or today,
Are you coming in more whole,
More integrated,
Smooth in your nervous system and somewhere in between?
Again,
Just allow your body to find its center here.
You could shift your weight to the left and the right,
Forward and backwards,
Letting go of thoughts and modes of operating that you've been carrying with you today.
They're not bad.
You don't need to banish them,
But just gently letting them go for the moment,
Trusting anything important will come back to you.
And then just being here right now.
Oftentimes,
Neurodivergent people move throughout the world with a strong sense of difference,
A sense of being separate or other,
Of not belonging.
If this has been true for you,
I invite you to tap into that in the body in terms of noticing where you carry some of that difficulty.
It could feel like an armoring,
A heaviness,
A soreness or a sadness.
It could be in a particular part of your body.
If you're not able to notice what it feels like in the body,
That's okay.
You could call to mind a memory of how you feel when you feel different,
When you feel like you don't belong.
First,
See if you can recognize that feeling.
Just looking at it happening inside of you.
Oh,
That is there.
I see my feeling of difference.
I feel otherness.
I see armoring on my chest.
And if you recognize it,
Let's see if you can also allow it to be here.
Because allowing helps build inner trust and safety.
Allowing builds courage and a knowing that this aspect of your existence does not define you.
Allowing brings with it a sense of capacity to hold.
Is it possible to just allow the isolation and alienation to be here?
It can be hard to sit with these feelings that,
In many circumstances,
Have haunted people most of their lives.
So I want to give you permission to move in and out of that feeling.
If you want to,
Gently open your eyes or just shift your attention to something external for a little bit.
That experience will be there back inside when you're ready to check back in with it.
When you can,
You can investigate this feeling a little bit further.
And investigating,
I don't want that to be a mind-first process or an analytical process.
I want you to investigate this feeling by simply allowing it to unfold to show you where it comes from,
What form it's taking,
What it's doing inside of you.
Investigating can mean letting the story of this experience be heard and witnessed.
Hearing it out more.
Holding and bearing witness.
Allowing the story of otherness to be fully felt.
The memories might unfold and sensations in your body might unfold.
The emotions might unfold.
They might deepen or broaden.
And you also might just simply sit with the otherness.
Simply sitting and letting it be there.
Using your breath.
You can deepen a breath if you want to bring more support and oxygen into your body or to a certain area of your body.
Not trying to get rid of the feeling or the inner experience of not belonging,
But supporting it kindly.
We want to nurture these difficult experiences.
Again,
They've been with many people for so,
So long.
These are important experiences,
Even if they are unfortunate or painful.
These are also very formative experiences.
And we don't want to reject them or oust them from our lives,
Even though there may be memories that you do want to fully reject or you wish you could erase.
However,
They are tied deeply into our hearts,
Our minds,
And our bodies.
And bringing some gentleness and kindness to the pain is going to help soften it and integrate it more so that it's not a fresh wound you're carrying.
So begin to bring that sense of gentle kindness to your pain.
To the sense of not belonging that you've held inside of you.
You might just feel some softness,
Some sense of caring,
Floating around the sensation or your body.
You might visualize it if that feels helpful to you,
If your process has been visual so far.
If you're seeing memories,
You might take that younger version of yourself and just hold her.
You could also use words.
You could say internally,
I care about this suffering.
I care about this pain.
I'm here for this.
This matters to me.
Allowing that gentle kindness to stretch and permeate through your body gently and softly,
So no need to force.
If it doesn't feel like it's coming,
You could simply have the intention that you do care,
Even if it's difficult to feel.
Letting it grow as much as it can.
Letting it just be understood that there is love here,
Even for this pain.
And calling in one or two other individuals in your life who may be evidence to the contrary of not belonging.
So people or other beings who you do feel belonging with.
This could be an element of nature,
A place in the forest that you love,
A bird that you see in your tree.
It could be a pet.
It could simply be water,
An element.
This can certainly be a family member or a beloved friend.
And just hold that being in mind as if it were an anchor point around you.
A point to compare to of,
Oh,
I may be other to this being,
And I am also loved.
I do matter.
I do belong in this relationship.
I invite you to identify any other points of reference,
Other beings,
If there are others that want to emerge to hold you in a web of connection,
Belonging,
Love.
And just for this moment,
Knowing inside of you that alienation and otherness are very real experiences and your difference does not automatically mean not belonging.
In fact,
You are loved for you just the way you are.
Even in your uniqueness and your difference,
You can be safe.
You can be an integral part of this world.
And you do matter.
Thank you for being here with me.
I hope this practice will serve you.
