Welcome.
This short talk and practice will teach you about the 5 keys to embodying self-love.
You may have heard that you can't love others if you don't love yourself first.
While I do not 100% agree with that phrase,
It contains a lot of truth.
So why is self-love that important?
I would argue that we can love others if we do not love ourselves.
However,
Without self-love,
The love for others will be more likely to be conditioned and challenging.
If we lack self-love,
Our relationships with others will not be balanced and perfectly healthy because we project onto other people what is inside us.
Therefore,
The more we work on our stuff,
Emotional and mental health,
The more we love and accept ourselves,
The better we will be able to truly love others and create harmonious relationships.
Self-love is even more critical if you want a healthy relationship with someone who needs your love the most – yourself.
It is essential for your well-being and long-term health and happiness.
The first step to embodying self-love is realizing that self-love is not selfish.
It is not selfish to love yourself and wish yourself well.
Unfortunately,
Many of us have been conditioned to think self-love is selfish.
We confuse selflessness,
Which is ego-transcending,
With lack of self-love,
Which is ego-based.
True self-love has nothing to do with being narcissistic or self-centered.
It simply means that you love and are kind to the person that needs your love the most – yourself.
The biggest transformation in my life started when I finally realized that it is not selfish to love myself,
To be kind to myself,
To wish myself well.
Before,
I used to criticize myself and even say very negative words towards myself so often.
I was not aware of the fact that I was harming myself and closing my heart even more.
My close relationships were challenging and toxic.
However,
When I realized that I had always deserved my love and kindness,
Everything started to change positively.
Buddhist teachings say,
You can search the whole universe and you will not find any being more worthy of your love than yourself.
Take a moment to reflect on that quote.
The key number two is to forgive yourself.
You can't truly love yourself if you hold resentment towards yourself.
Resentment creates resistance and self-judgment,
Which is the opposite of self-love.
Forgiveness is not about justifying what has happened in the past.
It is about letting go of grief and resentment and accepting that every person,
Including you,
Is doing her best in the given moment.
We were doing our best in the past with the awareness and heart openness at that time.
When you forgive yourself,
Your self-love will grow.
And it will become much easier to forgive yourself when you realize that you are worthy of your love.
Key number three,
Quiet the inner critic.
Nobody is perfect.
We tend to be very judgmental toward other people.
But somehow the biggest critic is inside of us and loves to judge our thoughts,
Skills and action.
The inner critic loves to judge and comment on how we look and behave,
On what we say and do.
I used to criticize myself all the time in my mind.
It was exhausting.
Many of us have been conditioned that if something is not perfect,
We must judge ourselves for it.
And nothing is perfect enough for the inner critic.
The inner critic grows proportionally to the amount of attention we give him.
Once you stop feeding the inner critic and start setting healthy boundaries within yourself,
Like saying to the inner critic,
Thank you for your opinion,
But I do not need it now.
Or simply stop criticizing me.
I am good enough.
Slowly,
Its voice will quieten.
Key number four,
Accept yourself.
Self-acceptance is about seeing ourselves from a place of wholeness,
Not lack.
We are already perfect as we are because each and every one of us is a unique expression of the universe.
Within every one of us there is a light that could illuminate the whole universe.
We are individual expressions of life force.
At every moment in our life,
We are doing our best with the resources,
Awareness and intention we have at that time.
Once we shift our perspective and learn to accept ourselves fully,
Our self-love will grow.
Finally,
The key number five is to practice self-love.
Metta,
Loving kindness,
Is one of the most powerful practices that help you embody self-love.
Metta comes from the Buddhist tradition.
The practice consists of sending loving thoughts toward ourselves and others.
It cultivates loving awareness and compassion and beautifully opens your heart.
The idea is to be able one day to enclose all beings in your loving kindness.
However,
Metta starts with ourselves.
It is because self-love is necessary for growing unconditional love toward others.
You can search the whole universe and you will not find any being more worthy of your love than yourself.
Let's finish this session with a short and sweet Metta meditation practice toward ourselves.
The practice is to simply repeat the phrases of loving kindness until you can feel the love in your heart and radiate it out.
Please find a comfortable meditation position on a cushion or chair.
Make sure your back is straight,
Your arms relaxed.
Rest your hands on your thighs and gently tuck your chin in.
Close your eyes and allow your breath to deepen.
Breathe smoothly and evenly in and out through both nostrils.
As you deepen your breath,
Notice that with the inhalation your abdomen and chest gently rise.
And as you exhale,
Your belly and chest sink back toward the spine.
Inhalation is rising,
Exhalation is falling.
Notice that when you breathe this way,
When you deepen your breath,
You turn your attention inwards.
Your breath connects you to the present moment.
Gradually allow the mind to slow down and drop into a state of relaxation.
Even if you have thoughts appearing on the surface,
Do not worry.
Just keep on focusing on your calm,
Deep breath.
Stay with your awareness inwards.
When your mind is internalized,
We can easier connect with loving kindness and send it toward ourselves.
If at any time during the meditation you lose your focus,
Use your breath as an anchor that brings you back to the present moment.
Please bring your awareness to your heart center.
Allow your awareness to rest there as you silently repeat the loving kindness phrases toward yourself.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be healthy in body and mind.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be happy and free.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be healthy in body and mind.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be happy and free.
Feel the loving kindness opening your heart.
Feel it in your whole body.
You are the person that needs your love the most,
In the entire universe.
Self-love is the foundation of all love.
May I be at ease.
May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I accept things as they are.
May I be happy and free.
Keep your breath nice and smooth.
Again,
Every time you notice drifting away with your thoughts,
Bring yourself back to the present moment and to the awareness in your heart center via the breath.
Bring yourself back to this feeling of loving kindness in your heart.
May I be at ease.
May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I accept things as they are.
May I be happy and free.
Please keep on repeating the phrases of loving kindness toward yourself.
You can also find your own words and variations that resonate with you the most.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be healthy in body and mind.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be happy and free.
May I be at ease.
May I be safe.
May I be healthy.
May I be held,
Supported,
Protected.
May I recognize my inherent value and worth.
May I be appreciated.
May I be loved.
May I be happy and free.
For the final stage of this meditation,
Simply rest in these vibrations of loving kindness.
Feel these vibrations in your heart.
Start deepening your breath.
As you remain in that space of openness,
Wishing yourself well,
Feeling the love from within,
Bring your hands to prayer.
Gently lower your chin.
When you are ready,
Slowly open your eyes.
Thank you for listening to this talk and opening your heart for more self-love.
The more we love ourselves,
The better we are able to love others and make the world a better place.
Namaste.
