If you have a self-compassion practice,
You might be familiar with RAIN,
A mindfulness tool that helps us care for ourselves when we're facing something difficult or feeling an unpleasant emotion.
There are a few versions of RAIN,
But the one I'm most familiar with goes something like this.
R stands for recognizing that something challenging is present.
A is to allow and accept it to be there.
I is to investigate how it feels,
Primarily in your body.
And N is to nurture or nourish yourself with self-compassion.
This practice has supported me for years.
Like many people,
I had to learn how to actually feel my emotions,
Rather than just thinking about them.
The practice of experiencing the physical sensations of emotions in the body has been one of the greatest gifts of mindfulness.
When I acknowledge an emotion,
Especially an unpleasant one,
And stay present with how it feels,
How it moves,
How it changes,
I find that I have more capacity to process the emotion.
It might sound something like this.
Grief is here,
And it's okay.
This is what grief feels like.
This is how grief changes.
I can be with my grief in a kind and gentle way,
And I can love myself while I'm grieving.
This is very different from my more habitual response,
Which is getting stuck in my mind with the grief.
Thinking over and over again,
I'm grieving,
I'm grieving,
I'm grieving.
I'm still grieving.
When we stay in the mind,
The grief has nowhere to go,
Nowhere to land.
There's no safe space for it to be held.
And our difficult emotions long to be lovingly held.
This practice can be deeply healing,
And there are many wonderful recordings of RAIN that I encourage you to explore.
And over time,
And with inspiration from teachers,
Friends,
And mentors,
I've made a few small tweaks that have made this practice even more powerful for me.
I call this version GRAIN.
I've added a G,
Which stands for ground,
Slowing down,
Feeling the support beneath you,
And noticing what's holding you up in this moment.
Then we move into the familiar steps,
Recognize,
Allow,
And investigate.
In the investigate step,
I add a few parts.
After noticing how the emotion feels in the body,
You can begin to investigate the stories or beliefs that might be underneath it.
Sometimes these stories sound like,
I'm unworthy of love or something is wrong with me.
Then I add another I to invite that story to release,
Which can be done in various ways,
Offering options to see what feels best for you.
While our challenges want space to be lovingly held,
They also benefit from having space to move and change.
So here,
You're inviting yourself to begin the process of letting go.
You're inviting the story to begin to transform.
You're inviting the possibility and opportunity that this story doesn't have to define you forever.
And then,
As we move into N,
Nurture,
I add one more step before it.
Notice.
Notice how you feel now.
Notice what has shifted after inviting the story to release.
What's here in your body now?
And then,
Nurture yourself.
Offer yourself care in whatever way feels nourishing.
This practice grain has been deeply transformative for me.
It offers a way to ground,
Feel,
Release,
And return to ourselves with compassion.
If you'd like to try this practice,
I've recorded a guided meditation called A Guided Journey of Self-Compassion,
Healing,
And Transformation,
Where I walk you through each step.
If you give it a try,
I'd love to hear how it feels for you.
Take good care.
