Welcome.
Today we'll be doing an active meditation where we'll investigate some of the core beliefs that are causing you unnecessary suffering or holding you back.
And we'll play around and experiment with consciously choosing new beliefs that feel more empowering and freeing for you.
But first,
Let's take a few minutes to settle the body and the mind for this practice.
Finding your comfortable seat on the chair or cushion.
Sitting in a dignified,
Alert posture with a straight back and long neck.
Trying to find that sweet balance between comfort and alertness.
Closing your eyes or if that doesn't feel safe right now,
Just lowering the gaze and allowing your eyes to unfocus so you can go inwards.
And let's begin with a few belly breaths.
Breathing in through the nose and sending the air all the way into your belly and then exhaling slowly through the mouth.
Letting go of the day thus far.
And again,
Breathing in through the nose,
Feeling your chest and your belly expand.
And breathing out slowly through the lips,
Allowing your shoulders to relax.
Softening the jaw.
Letting go of any gripping in the belly.
And now coming back to your normal breath.
In through the nose and out through the nose.
Following the sensations of the breath wherever they feel more prominent.
Maybe you're letting your attention rest at the nostrils.
Feeling the coolness of the air coming in and then noticing the warmth of the air as you're breathing out.
Or maybe just taking some time to be with your breath.
Giving your mind and body a chance to calm down from their usual busyness.
Enjoying these few moments of barely doing anything at all.
Just following the breath.
So for this practice I'd like you to scan your life for a situation with another person where there's conflict.
This may be a quarrel with your partner or a conflict with someone at work or a situation with a friend where you feel misunderstood.
Just choose one that's more present for you and make sure you feel ready to sit with it at this time that this won't overwhelm you.
So just check in with yourself making kind choices for this practice.
Once you pick the conflict you want to work with,
Allow the situation to come to mind.
Letting it be as present as you can.
So be back there in conflict and see the person in front of you.
Allowing all the emotions about this situation to come into the present.
And take a moment to recognize and make a small mental note of these emotions as they enter your awareness.
So if it's anger,
Note anger.
If it's fear,
Name it fear.
Or confusion or loneliness.
Give a name to whatever you're feeling,
Receiving all of these emotions as wise messengers here to teach you more about yourself.
So now that you've made room for this conflict,
Not pushing anything out of your experience,
You can begin to inquire into these feelings and surface any beliefs that might be operating unconsciously behind the scenes.
So just ask yourself,
What am I believing about myself or the other person in this situation?
Maybe you believe that they don't love you or that you're not worthy of their love or that there's something wrong with you.
Maybe you believe that they're out to hurt you or that simply no one understands you.
Just sense what you might be believing here that's causing you suffering,
Paying attention to any highly charged thoughts you have about what's happening in this situation.
And if the thoughts are particularly painful,
Take a moment,
Offer yourself some compassion.
Releasing a hand on your heart and a hand on your belly,
Acknowledging the difficulty of staying with these complicated feelings.
So when you find a belief or thought that feels strong or absolute,
Pause and ask yourself,
Is this true?
Can I be absolutely sure that this is true?
What evidence do I have for this thought?
What evidence do I have against it?
How does my body respond when I believe this thought?
Is your body open,
Relaxed,
At ease?
Or does it tense up,
Make itself small or feel defensive?
And just be curious,
Notice how this belief affects your posture and the expression of your body as a whole.
Ok now comes the fun part.
As an experiment,
Ask yourself,
Who would I be if I didn't believe this?
And try to picture yourself in your everyday life and interactions with others,
The scenario when you don't hold this belief.
How would you carry yourself?
How would you feel?
And just sit and notice the quality of your experience in this moment.
You might feel openness and kindness,
Gentleness,
Maybe a sense of freedom or playfulness.
And we can take this experiment a little bit further,
Turning this belief around or maybe finding a new belief that would make more sense with who you are now and how you'd like to be.
Choosing a more truthful belief and just trying it on like a hat,
With a sense of ease and playfulness,
Visualizing yourself moving through life with this fresh new belief.
And again,
Turn your attention towards your body and notice the quality of your breath,
Your posture and any emotions that you're aware of when you're imagining your life with this new,
Updated belief.
And take a few moments to absorb the goodness of this new way of thinking about yourself,
Letting this new experience sink in,
Letting go of any effort in your practice and just resting in awareness.
Now,
Begin to turn your attention back towards your breath,
Tuning into the waves of your inhales and exhales and noticing the sensations associated with the breath,
Checking in with yourself and seeing how you feel now compared to the beginning of the practice.
Maybe there's more ease and flow,
Maybe your heart feels more open or tender,
Maybe there's a lingering sense of playfulness after experimenting with your beliefs.
Sometimes we get so locked down by our own thoughts that we forget that we don't have to give them our attention,
That instead we can just watch them come and go with this playful curiosity and we can inquire into their truthfulness,
Learning to let go of the thoughts and beliefs that no longer fit our lives,
That keep us small,
Acknowledging that maybe they served us well and protected us once,
But that time is long gone,
So that now we can make room for better thoughts to form.
And before we close,
I want to leave you with this quote by Elizabeth Gilbert.
You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day.
This is a power you can cultivate.
If you want to control things in your life so bad,
Work on the mind.
That's the only thing you should be trying to control.
Thank you for meditating with me today and I hope to see you soon.
