Welcome.
This exercise is for when your mind just won't stop ruminating,
Going over old ground,
Replaying past memories,
Regrets and things that went wrong.
This is a space to slow things down,
Step out of the mental loop just a little and respond to yourself with more warmth and compassion.
Take a moment to settle just as you are.
If comfortable,
Let your eyes gently close or soften your gaze to something in front of you.
You don't need to have the right posture,
There's no pressure here to feel calm,
You don't need to have stopped the thought before you begin.
Just notice that you are here listening to my voice.
Notice that your mind has been going round and round as if you are stuck on a merry-go-round.
Perhaps you've been replaying something,
Going back over it,
Trying to understand it,
Trying to work out what it means,
Trying to find the point where it will finally feel resolved.
If this is where you are right now,
I want you to start by saying this gently to yourself.
It makes sense that I am doing this.
When something hurts or when something feels unresolved or touches shame or regret or self-doubt,
It makes sense that you would go back over it.
It makes sense that part of you would want to keep looking keep trying to understand it.
So this is not about blaming yourself for ruminating,
It's about noticing that you are on that merry-go-round of thoughts.
You may have been taking lap after lap around the same painful ground.
And when that happens it can start to feel as though you have to stay there until you finally get it right.
Until you understand it fully.
Until you've punished yourself enough.
Until you've found the lesson that you need to learn.
Until you've explained it so completely that it can never hurt again.
But often another lap is not what helps.
So just pause for a moment.
And ask yourself very gently.
Am I learning anything new right now?
Or am I re-opening the same wound again?
Just repeat that to yourself.
No need to force an answer.
Just let the question settle.
Am I learning anything new right now?
Or am I re-opening the same wound again?
And now see if you can feel your body where you are.
The chair beneath you.
Your feet on the floor.
Your hands resting somewhere.
The air on your skin.
You don't have to solve the past in this moment.
You don't have to go back in again.
You can let yourself come back here to this moment.
To my voice.
If self-criticism has been loud,
Notice that too.
Maybe there's a harsh voice saying,
You should have known better.
You should have done better.
You should not still be bothered by this.
You should be over it by now.
And if that voice is here,
See if you can make room for a different one.
A warmer,
Gentler one.
Something like,
I am allowed to be human.
I'm allowed to have handled something imperfectly.
I'm allowed to still feel affected.
I don't have to keep punishing myself to prove that it mattered.
And if it helps,
Place a hand somewhere comforting,
Like over your heart area.
Or hold yourself in a way that feels supporting.
And remind yourself.
Going over it again is not the same as healing it.
Being hard on myself is not the same as taking responsibility.
Reopening it is not the same as learning from it.
There may be something here to learn.
There may be something here to grieve.
There may even be something here to repair.
Sometimes what helps most is stepping out of that replay.
Softening.
Letting the body come back into the present.
So take one slow breath in.
Hold it.
And as you breathe out,
Imagine letting that merry-go-round lose a little speed.
Not forcing it to stop.
Not trying to jump off dramatically.
Just no longer pushing it faster.
Another breath in.
Hold it.
And slowly exhale.
A little less momentum.
A little less pressure to figure it out right now.
And again,
Breathing in.
Holding it.
And breathing out.
And focusing on that sensation of slowing.
Of softening.
And if you need a phrase to come back to,
Let it be this.
This is painful.
And I don't have to punish myself with going over it in my mind.
Or perhaps this.
I can learn without attacking myself.
I can let myself be human.
And stay with whichever words feel most steadying.
And as we come to the end of this exercise,
Bring your attention back to your breath.
That gentle slowing in and slowing out.
And expanding your awareness now to your surroundings.
Opening your eyes if they are closed.
Noticing the room you are in.
Or any other sounds you can hear.
Noticing your body relaxed and calm.
Taking one final breath in.
Hold it.
And slowly exhale.
Ready for the next step in your day.
Knowing you can come back to this exercise whenever you need to.
