Hello and welcome to day 17 of an experiment which is lasting for 30 days where I live from a place of love rather than fear.
In other words what I'm doing is when I feel unsettled I bring my awareness back to a peaceful place of love.
If you were listening over the past couple of days you'll know that I have experienced a bad back.
I stupidly moved some furniture and hurt my back in the process and today I've really noticed the pain of my back.
It's been physically uncomfortable all day and because of the pain I've noticed when I move I feel a stab of pain.
I've been walking awkwardly so whenever I forget that my back is hurting I'll do something and suddenly the pain reminds me of the soreness of my back.
I can't get away from it.
Now the temptation today has been to fall into a place of self-pity.
It's to kind of get lost in that poor me story but because I've been living from a place of love rather than fear I've noticed when I start to go down that route when I start to go down the route of self-pity.
So today I've learnt quite a bit.
My back has been a really good teacher.
I heard once that somebody said that the pain that you experience is a gift but it's just wrapped up in really horrible packaging and it's useful to remember that that there is a gift even if the pain of my back is uncomfortable there is a gift for me here.
And I guess the reminders I've had as I brought my awareness back to a place of love so I've been in a settled space of wisdom looking for the gift that might be in the experience of the pain.
I've realised a few things and I'm just going to share the things I've reflected on and learnt during the day.
One of the things I've realised is the importance of just asking for help.
I pride myself on being pretty independent.
Today I just found it hard to put my shoes and socks on.
I could have done it and it would have taken me a long time.
What I realised is that I was just going to ask for help so I asked for help from my husband to put my shoes and socks on and he willingly gave it of course.
So rather than struggle I asked for help.
That's one thing I learnt today.
I've also learnt about slowing down and taking things at an easier pace.
For example I love going walking.
I actually love counting steps to see how far I go and today I've just slowed down my walking pace.
I've not done the number of steps that I usually do and I've been really careful.
I've been listening into my back.
So that's the second thing.
I've been gentle with myself.
Gentle with myself particularly when it comes to the physicality of feeling the pain.
I've also found time to be creative and I've just noticed that it's more comfortable for me to sit at a desk rather than move around and I've used this as an opportunity.
I've used it as an opportunity to sit down and be creative and to try things out with audio recordings.
Something I love doing.
If you know me you know I love walking and I love recording audios.
So I've been able to spend a bit more time being creative today.
It's given me an opportunity to be creative because there's so little else I can do.
So that's the third thing I've learnt is that it's been okay to be creative rather than physically active.
And the fourth thing I've noticed is that I've just been gentle with myself.
I've been tuned into my body when I felt quite tired with the pain earlier I went and had a rest and it reminded me of my friend.
She's an acupuncturist and I remember going to her once just for a bit of friendly advice.
I was feeling quite tired and I just said look what do you say to your clients when they come in and they feel tired.
I kind of imagined that she was going to give me something or tell me something or suggest I do something to get rid of the tiredness.
Instead she said well when my clients say that they feel tired I suggest that they rest and if they say that they're very tired I suggest they have a sleep.
And I laugh now when I think back on it because I had been looking for something to get me through the tiredness and to crack on with my day but actually there was huge truth in what she said.
What I heard is listen to your body and if you need to rest,
Rest.
It's giving you good information.
In summary then today love has shown up in many ways.
It's getting me to to slow down.
It's getting me to ask for help.
It's getting me to realise that I can be creative rather than physical.
It's helped me to realise the importance of being kind to myself,
Listening to my body and resting when that is appropriate.
So today has been a bit of a lesson in patience and no doubt this lesson of patience will continue.
That's what I've learnt today on day 17.
I wonder how you're getting on.
Let me know how you're getting on as you have a go at living from a place of love rather than fear.
