Six Types Of People You Need In Your Life

In this episode, Life Coach Lisa A. Romano discusses 6 types of people you need in your life. There is plenty of information about what types of people to avoid, and who are toxic, while there is not a whole lot of information about what types of people you should be actively seeking to include in your life. Knowing what to look for is as important as knowing what and whom to avoid.

Transcript

Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano.

I am a life coach,

Bestselling author,

YouTube vlogger,

Meditation teacher,

And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.

My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.

May your heart feel blessed,

Your mind feel expanded,

And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.

So today we're going to be talking about the six types of people you should keep in your life.

So there's a lot of talk on the internet today about the types of people you should kick out of your life,

The type of people that you should spend less time with.

For instance,

People who drain your energy,

People who don't see you as a 3D autonomous human being,

People who want something from you,

People who feel entitled to exploit you,

People that only see themselves.

These are the members of our family.

These are our friends who we get the feeling they should be wearing a sign that says,

Hey,

What about me?

Everything goes back to them.

These are the people that interrupt you while you're talking.

These are the people who talk over you.

These are the people who make everything about them.

Somehow they twist the conversation and they make it all about their experiences and how you should be listening to them and why their experiences trump your experiences.

And this exists on a spectrum,

Right?

So you can have a friend who's just slightly annoying or just slightly draining.

And then you have a friend or a family member who is severely toxic.

Every time you talk to them,

It's this terrible,

Dramatic scenario that they're going through.

And there really is a lack of awareness as to how it is they may be participating in what is unfolding in their life.

So these would be people who existed more along the lines of the narcissist or they're on the narcissistic spectrum.

And there are people who regardless of what we say to them,

They never take our advice.

Do you have someone like that in your life?

I know most of us do.

You could literally spend hours and hours on the phone with someone giving them your best advice.

And as soon as they're done dumping their drama into your lap,

They feel better.

You've absorbed it all and they go and do what they want to do anyway.

So toxic people are definitely people that we need to be aware of and we need to try to push out of our circle and just use boundaries with so that we're no longer drained.

I love what Oprah says that you have to be responsible for the people that you have in your life,

The energy they bring into your life,

Which is a life skill actually.

So today we're going to be talking about the type of people you should want in your life.

So the first person that you should want in your life is the truth teller.

So this is not always someone that you enjoy hearing from,

But this is the friend or the family member who in spite of them knowing what you want to hear,

They're going to tell you what they really think.

I have a friend like that in my life and we've been the best of friends since we're 12 years old and it's so true.

She doesn't always tell me what I want to hear,

But that's what makes her a good friend.

If there is anybody in my life that I can go to,

To check myself,

To make sure that I am not deluding myself,

To make sure that I'm not using backward rationalization to justify a need that I have or a want that I have at the moment,

Because that's the way the brain works anyway.

Our brains work to rationalize and justify what it is what we want.

And if ego is in charge in the moment,

Then there isn't a whole lot that someone can say to us to cause us to think anything differently.

And that's why it's important to have a truth telling friend,

Someone that you can go to to say,

Hey,

Knock it off.

Another person that you might want to consider looking for or keeping around or someone that you know who is an open minded thinker.

This is someone that is really great to spend time with.

This is someone who is not a sheep.

This is not someone that goes along with the crowd.

This is someone who has their own ideas and they're not afraid to question the masses.

They're not afraid to question their religion.

They're not afraid to question their political views or the views of their parents.

They're not afraid to question anyone.

And so these are people who are open minded and they want to know what they think.

They want to know that whatever it is that they think,

They think it because they think it and it's not because they've been indoctrinated to think a certain way.

This is someone who if you hang out with them and if you talk to them,

You will gain a completely different perspective,

Which we all have to pay attention to because social media is designed to be biased because of the way social media algorithms work.

You are only going to be fed information that you agree with.

And so that's really dangerous because this is biased.

And we only pay attention to or receive information that is in agreement with the current ideas that we hold and we close ourselves off to the opinions of other people.

And we become closed minded thinkers.

We become self-righteous narcissists,

Right?

Who have an inability to consider how other people feel or how other people think.

Losing empathy for other people is a very scary thing to do.

In the end,

In the age of social media,

Where it seems that there are only a few,

Less than a handful of social media platforms that most people are gaining their information from,

This is something that we need to be responsible about and this is something that we need to be aware about.

So keeping someone in your close circle of friends that is not afraid to think outside the box does you good.

Another person to keep inside your circle is the truth seeker.

Now this is someone who is looking beyond the veil.

This is somebody who understands that you can live below the veil of consciousness and you can live above the veil of consciousness.

This is someone who isn't satisfied with the way things are.

So they're not satisfied with someone else's understanding of the universe or they're not satisfied with what most people tell them.

A truth seeker is someone who wants to understand themselves and where they fit in in the world.

This is somebody who wants to understand their divinity or they want to understand themselves as an energetic being,

Not just a psychological being or a cerebral being.

They want to understand everything.

They want to understand how they fit.

They want to understand the nature of reality.

And this is a really cool person to keep in your circle of friends because this is someone who is putting in the effort to learn things that most people aren't willing to learn.

This is someone who very much is an open-minded person who is curious about the nature of reality and their curiosity can actually be contagious and can make you feel hopeful and excited about your place in the universe.

Another person to keep close to you is the uplifter.

This is somebody who is making an effort to see the best in the world.

This is somebody who wants to believe in this idea that there is wellbeing,

That wellbeing abounds.

This is somebody who wants to believe and makes an effort to believe that there is a divine order to things.

This is somebody who believes in laws that govern time and space.

And this is someone who believes that if you can learn to obey the laws that govern time and space,

Then you are someone who can operate your life in a very conscious and aware way.

So this is someone who is wise.

This is someone who has experience.

This is most likely someone who's made a lot of mistakes and those mistakes have caused them to look within.

The uplifter is someone who absolutely recognizes that there is chaos in the world,

That there is nastiness in the world,

That there are bad things happening in the world.

They recognize it,

But they're doing what they can to maintain mental and emotional,

Psychological,

Spiritual,

And physical boundaries that allow them to maintain their resonance.

They know that this other thing is happening over there,

But they recognize also that they're limited in terms of what they can and cannot control.

And they work within that realm and coming at life from that space allows them to feel logical,

Rational,

And balanced.

So this is not someone who's going to be drained and flow their energy towards a situation that they cannot control.

So this is someone whose cup will be half full.

Their love tank will be half full or even full because they're working at regulating and governing their energy.

So this is someone who,

When you're around them,

Will make you feel good about being a human being.

Another person that you want to make sure that you resonate with and you want to make sure that you're able to hold dear and near to your heart,

Someone that if you find this person is someone that you should really appreciate,

And that's the empathic listener.

The empathic listener is someone who can absolutely attune themselves to what you're going through.

So this is someone who is not looking to solve your problems.

This is someone who can actually crawl into your skin and see life through your eyes.

Doesn't matter what color your skin is.

It doesn't matter what color their skin is.

It doesn't matter your gender versus their gender.

None of that matters.

It doesn't even matter what political affiliation either of you believe in or ascribe to.

What matters is that this person,

The empathic listener,

Is someone who has the ability to imagine what life must be like for you.

The benefit of having someone in your life like this is that you feel valued.

You feel seen.

You feel understood.

There's nothing that you have to prove in this type of a relationship.

In this conversation,

The person that is listening to you is there for you.

So you feel like this person has your heart in the center of their palm.

They really have your best interest at heart.

This is someone who has the ability to show up for you.

And then that space,

A very beautiful,

Sacred miracle takes place.

You feel seen.

You feel heard.

You feel witnessed.

You feel validated.

You feel like you matter.

And that's the benefit of having a wonderful person like this in your life.

Another person that you would benefit from knowing and having and attracting into your life is the person who is able to use logic and reason.

This is someone who doesn't immediately speak to you and validate any emotion that you feel just for the sake of validating your emotion.

If you imagine two two-year-olds,

You have one two-year-old that's really,

Really angry and she turns around and she throws her toy on the floor and then the other two-year-old gets really,

Really angry.

All you have are two angry little two-year-olds,

Right?

So the friend that you can rely on who is very logical and very reasonable is someone who's going to take an objective view of what it is that you're experiencing.

This is someone who,

While they have the ability to have empathy for you,

They also have the ability to use logic and reason to help you think.

So there are people in life that will just feel what you feel and react according to the way that you feel without using logic and reason.

So it's sort of like I said,

You have two two-year-olds that are just bouncing off one another.

Think about a Bonnie and Clyde situation or think about extreme situations where you have someone who is really,

Really angry and they go out and they do this terrible thing and their partner is right alongside them and does this terrible thing right alongside them.

That's not what I'm talking about,

Right?

I'm talking about a friend in your life or a family member,

Someone that you know,

Even a coworker that is able to hear you and listen to you,

But they take it to the next level in regards to the advice they give you.

It's very logical based.

It's very reason based.

So they take in all the information that you've given them and they help you process the facts,

Right?

They help you look at things from a different perspective and the angle is logic and reason.

If we are all people who are reactive and we only respond to the way that we feel,

We are in trouble.

Thank goodness there are enough people on planet Earth that do think before they speak and do think before they act.

Otherwise our entire system would be completely chaotic.

I'm sure that there are lots of people who want to say,

Lisa,

Look at this and Lisa,

Look at that.

It's valid,

But the world would not be able to go on as it does if there weren't a significant portion of society that were able to think before they spoke and they were able to think before they acted.

If that's not us,

Then that is what we try to move towards.

We try to move towards more logic,

More reason,

More thinking before responding,

More thinking before reacting,

Just thinking,

Learning to think.

If you can reason out,

If you can consider the importance of having these types of people in your life,

Then you can also reason why it would be important for you to try to do everything you could to adopt these qualities in your life as well.

There's no doubt about it.

The people that we keep close to us are people that are emitting a particular vibe and whether we want to acknowledge it or not,

Other people's vibes affect us.

Have you ever had the experience where you were in a free-floating mood,

Everything felt great and then someone you knew walked into the room and they had a really negative vibe,

Like this dark cloud was just following them and you knew you had to shut it down because this person was upset?

This is what we're trying to avoid.

We don't want to be that person,

Nor do we want to be affected by that person.

As we grow and as we continue to heal,

As we begin to spiritually awaken,

As we become more consciously aware and we're being more mindful,

Then in that space,

We have an opportunity to be more aware of the people that we keep in our life,

The people that we lean towards and the people that we push out of our life.

At the end of the day,

We want to make sure that we are positive influences on other people as well.

Namaste,

Everybody.

See you next time.

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Reviews

great talk. now how do i find these people esp during pandemic. so hard to be social. thanks

Inspiring

Very good info, thank you!