How To Prioritize Your Own Self-Care

When we have a long list of to-do's and start to feel overwhelmed, the items that are "just for us" rarely get accomplished. Don't let your self-care be the first thing to go. In this episode, I muse on the power of turning your "want-to's" into "have-to's." Please note: This track may include some explicit language.

Transcript

Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor. Take a slow, Deep breath in. And now breathe out. Congratulations. You just meditated. Hi, I'm Crystal Joukowsky, And this is Breathe In, Breathe Out, A weekly mindfulness and meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it. Welcome back to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I'm Crystal Joukowsky, And I'm, As always, Thrilled that you're here. I absolutely love taking this time out, Taking a moment to breathe and connect and just chit chat about whatever is on my mind, Whatever has come up, Whatever lesson I've learned recently. And I really hope that my lessons are inspiring and helping you and you love connecting in that way. So my recent experience, I was reminded about how we turn want-tos into have-tos. We turn those things, Which we're excited to do, Into just another thing we've got to deal with. And it is no fun because then it makes our days a little bit more drudgery and frustrating. Let me tell you a story because you guys know me. I'm all about story time. I was getting ready for a trip and you know the hullabaloo before a trip, If you're going to be gone for any amount of time, There are a lot of little things that you've got to do. You got to clean out the fridge and make sure that there's not a bunch of old stuff that's just going to be stinky gross. You got to take out the trash, Do the dishes, Laundry, Packing, All the little things that you need to achieve so that you can head out and enjoy the adventure that you are going on. And if you're set out before you taking in and enjoying the people that you'll be with, The sites that you'll take in, The experiences that will be set out to just sink your teeth in, You're really thrilled to be going on this trip. And yet there is a couple of days beforehand that you've got to take over. You got to deal with all of the little to-dos. You want to do some of these things earlier, But there are several of them that you can't. You can't do laundry a week ahead of time because you need the laundry done right before you so you have enough clothes and underwear and whatnot. You can't really clean out the fridge a week beforehand because then you're going to have a week of leftovers in the fridge. You can't really do the dishes because you're going to use the dishes. So there's like that day before, There's just a lot that kind of ends up being in the day or two right before the trip, Which can be a little bit frustrating and overwhelming. And yet, You know, If you schedule your time just right, Maybe it'll work out and you don't flop into bed exhausted that night. Well, I was very much in that space trying to get it all done as we prepared for an extended vacation. Now, I worked to plan my stuff so the business stuff is concentrated in the week before travel and the day or two immediately before traveling, I have the little things that come up. Well, I woke up the day before our travel and I thought that I had planned really well. I was awake really early. I was getting a lot of things done. I kept accomplishing and I could not believe when I sat down for lunch, How much I still had to do. Like I thought I was accomplishing. I thought I was like succeeding in preparing, But by lunch I still felt unbelievably overwhelmed with all of the stuff I still had to do. Thought I had planned. Obviously, I was wrong. So I sat down for lunch with Jay and he asked me how my day was going and if I was on track to pack that evening and all I could do was laugh. He asked me, Well, What do you need to do? And I began verbalizing a list. I told him everything I needed to do. And as I was listing this myriad of tasks to do, I realized that I needed to write it down because first off writing it down, I was going to be able to look at it and know that it was there and check things off because once it's on paper, It's visible. It's tangible. It's achievable. It's oh yeah, I can just mark that off, Mark that off. So in my list that I was verbalizing, I mentioned that I was going for a ride to get ice cream with my cousin. Now Jay perked up and he was all excited and he said, I am so glad that you have a little bit of self care and want to built into your day. I'm so proud of you for putting that there knowing that you were going to have a crazy day today. And I just, I had to pause. He was thrilled with my idea of going on a ride and going to get ice cream and French fries. And I was looking at ice cream and French fries and a little ride in the Roadster as another half to. I said I was going to do this. I've got to go do this. It's going to be a couple of hours, These couple of hours or couple of hours that I could be working on this gargantuan list over here. I really wish that I hadn't said that I would do that because and I had to stop. I'm so glad that you have self care built into your day. The one thing that I had for joy, The one break in my day had become just another burden. I had completely lost perspective. His comment stopped me in my tracks and taught me a lesson. Because how many of us have built in a little bit of self care into a really busy schedule? You know, It's going to be crazy. You know, Things are going to be rough. You bake a tiny bit of self care in there and say, You know what, I'm going to do this. You put a stake in the ground. This is my self care. You put that intention behind it and you say, This is for me. But as your day goes on, That little bit of self care becomes more of a half to than the intentional want to that you originally set it there for. Isn't that sad? Self care is the one thing easily on the chopping block if we need to claim a little time back to keep achieving. We give up what we need most in the name of everyone else and everything else. And the more we put it off in favor of success, The deeper we fall into exhaustion, Depression and burnout. I talk about self care as being a conscious, Intentional act of taking care of your own needs, Your emotional, Mental, Spiritual, Physical needs, A conscious, Intentional act. I also talk about perspective and how a little shift in perspective makes a ton of difference. My intention was I'm baking self care into my day. That shift in perspective meant that it was no longer a gift to myself and recognizing that I was worth it and I would need it and it'd become a, Can I just stop it? That same shift in perspective back to, Wait a minute, I knew I'd need it and that's why I planned it. This is a gift to me and maybe I'll come back to the house and feel rejuvenated and energized and ready to tackle that list and get it done. And I wouldn't have to stay up until midnight, One o'clock in the morning until I was done backing. I would actually be able to finish it earlier. So I took his comment, I switched my attitude, I wrote my list, I jumped into the car and I went on a little joy ride and I had a little ice cream and I had a little french fry and I had great company and I had a fantastic time taking a break from the daily grind and giving myself the gift of connection and freedom. And when I came back, Jay had kept some of my little list going, Which meant that it was a little bit easier for me to achieve it all. And I was in bed by nine. Yes, I went to bed early in spite of everything that needed to be done and how stressed and worried I was. I kept my self-care. I reinstituted that intention behind it saying, Nope, This is for me. I needed it. I set it there. I'm taking it. And things were better. Things were smoother. Set an intention. Refuse to let it go. If you set that intention and say, I'm going to give this to myself for self-care and you find things encroaching on it, It might be that you need that self-care even more than you expected. Write it on a piece of paper. Give yourself reminders. Help keep that perspective and that intention behind it. If it's in your phone, Maybe you write it as intentional self-care so that when you see that that thing is coming up, You know this was my intention and you keep that perspective. Remind yourself that you are worth it. Remind yourself that you don't come last. And it's okay to give yourself a breather because that'll make you even better when you dive back in later. Thanks for listening this week. And I look forward to having you again here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I'm Crystal Dikowski on Instagram, Facebook, And YouTube, And I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, Take care.