Episode Eighty-Nine: The Byte-Patrick McDade

In this shorter episode, you get to hear what happens when a powerful magic spell meant to attract love, goes a bit haywire. Have you heard the adage "be careful what you wish for?" Well, Patrick's story is all about wishes made, and their unintended consequences.

Transcript

Hello again and welcome to this week's episode. I'm not sure how many of you have heard of the concept of a love mandala. A love mandala is a mandala that you get. It's black lines. It's in the shape of a mandala. There's no color in it. And while you color it in using the colors that you like, You kind of imprint and wish and magic your thoughts around what kind of love you want to attract into your life. What kind of person you'd like to bring into your life. And this week's episode deals with what happens when a love mandala goes slightly awry. Now my friend this week that I interviewed, Patrick, Recently he and his partner Yancina, Who I previously interviewed on this podcast, She's the founder of World Pulse, They celebrated their 10-year anniversary together. And during the Zoom meeting they had for everyone attending the celebration, They described how they found each other. And it's really an interesting story. Basically, A very, Very good friend of Yancina's gave her a love mandala, Put a spell out there into the universe, And said, If you color this in, What you wish for, Who you wish for will come true. And so that's a little bit of what this week's magic or this week's miracle is about. It's actually really sweet, But also a little bit funny at the same time. And I think it also lives up to that adage, The course of true love never did run smooth. So now my guest this week, Patrick, He is a fascinating human being. We talk a little bit about his social justice work on this show, But essentially one of the things that he's known for and that we talk about in this podcast, He is the founder of People Places Things. And you can find a link to his website underneath the episodes show notes. And about People Places Things, The website says, People Places Things began in 2008, With a vision of community building through language and culture. It goes on to say the US has so much ethnic and language diversity, But we're still a very segregated society on the whole. And that means there's a space for culture bridging specialists to create meaningful and lasting connections in our schools, Workplaces and neighborhoods. To make the world a better place, We have to invent new techniques for bringing people together and fostering understanding. And if you want to learn more about this organization, Please do check out the website. Again, It'll be under the episode show notes. But as Patrick says, He's an entrepreneur and he's involved in a lot of other things, Constantly traveling the world. He's quite an adventurer, But I think one of his biggest adventures was surviving that love mandala. But you can hear more because now here's episode 89 of Bite-Sized Blessings. A year before she started online dating, She had connected with one of her beloved sisters, Marta in Colombia, And they had talked about her desire to meet somebody that would be a partner. And so Marta gave her a spell, A mandala to work with, And Yancina put her energy into it. And actually, You know, The internet dating was a feature, A part of that work. And it was about, I don't know, Eight months afterwards that she had just put her photo up, And I responded to her and just thought she was really interesting. Me and Yancina met about 10 years ago. We met online. It was OKCupid. Those were back in the days of OKCupid. This was pre-Tinder days when relationship technology was still in its teens. And one funny thing about that was that I had actually been kind of internet dating since before there were pictures on Match. Com. Match. Com was actually one of the early ones out there. And I just remember thinking, Oh, This is so cool. There are pictures, When pictures came around because I had already been doing that. Now, At that time, Of course, Internet dating or classified ads were seen as pretty sleazy. And I felt that they were too. And I wasn't looking for a sleazy experience, Although I did encounter a couple during that time. But I just found that to be disappointing. But mostly also, I felt that it was difficult to meet somebody who shared my values. And if they were really like me, They'd be too busy working. They're not going to be in a bar and trying to hook up with people in that way. So how do you meet those people? So I wasn't afraid of internet dating. I went out on a lot of dates, And most of them were first dates. And a few of them went a little bit further. But I don't think I ever really got a real relationship out of any of the dates that I went on. So I wasn't doing that with that expectation. And as Yancina tells the story, Too, She was working hard on WorldPulse. She's a young person who is dedicated to building a revolution of women online. And so she was just making her first foray into internet dating. And she felt that like, It would probably be a long slog, And maybe wouldn't even be successful. But it was part of an intention to put herself out there and kind of try that out, See how it went. Now, A year before she started online dating, She had connected with one of her beloved sisters, Marta and Columbia, And they had talked about her desire to meet somebody that would be a partner. And so Marta gave her a spell, A mandala to work with, And Yancina put her energy into it. And actually, You know, The internet dating was a feature or part of that work. And it was about, I don't know, Eight months afterwards that she had just put her photo up, And I responded to her and just thought she was really interesting, You know. And so I tended to respond to people who were interesting, Regardless of how I felt about them. I wasn't really out kind of trolling for, For like, Whoever I thought was like the hottest, You know, Though she's very beautiful, Of course. But, But I was mostly, I was mostly looking for good connections, Because I figured like, Anyone that I can talk to is going to be, That's going to be worth the hour or two that I might spend and the drink that we might have. So I was very intrigued by what she had written. And I guess she was intrigued by mine as well. And we did go out on a date. And actually, Our first few dates didn't really go that well. So we met at a bar, Had a drink, Was a little bit awkward, Because I think partly she just didn't have like, Dating muscles built up, Like she didn't know how to what she was supposed to do. I remember I tended towards pretty radical honesty about as far as I could do about my flaws. I didn't really want to be trying to be like, Hey, You know, Like trying to sell myself just wanted to be real with people that I met. So I can't remember how it was. But I do remember one part of the conversation, I said, You know, I've heard people before, You know, I've heard women that I've dated before, You know, I'm not proud of that. But I think it's part of what what happens in relationships. I mean, Physically, Of course, I just meant that, You know, We do hurt each other. And I can't remember what she said. But like, She said something that kind of took it to a more superficial level. I was like, If you know, If you're going to ask me, Like, Why I hurt people, You're going to need to get to know me a little bit better before I'm going to be able to answer that question. So I remember her feeling saying that she felt like a little taken aback by that. But in any case, The the it was interesting, I was so intrigued to find out that she was the creative mind behind world pulse, Because I was like, Oh, My God, I totally know your magazine. I've used it in my classes. Because I thought it was so cool that there were pictures of pictures of women around the world with microphones and headphones on. And it just like busted, I think, Stereotypes and ideas that people had. So I thought they were really great to use in my English classes. So I was like, I was like, Oh, I totally know your magazine. I love it. It's I'm so excited that I get to be hanging out with you. So I really wanted to connect with her. But I didn't really exactly know where it was going to go. We went on a couple more days, And they were fun. But eventually, It led to her saying, You know, Like, I'm just not, I don't think this is like a romance situation. But at that point, We kind of both agreed, Like, I think we still want to hang out. But everybody says that, You know, So like, Doesn't necessarily mean anything that a friendship will really happen. But I wasn't quite sure how that would work. But I knew I thought her her work was great. So world pulse was a post live event was coming up. And I was like, Oh, I can go and I'm going to bring some local friends, Some, Some women that I know who are awesome, Who will appreciate that. And so I got some tickets. And of course, The weird thing that day is, I flipped on my bicycle and broke both of my elbows and my clavicle. There were some kind of special things that that happened. And I was writing her a lot then and and trying to show her me and try to get more understanding of her. At some point, I was headed to Mexico for some trying to do some develop my business model in Cancun. And something kind of flipped near the near the end of that year. And I started having some kind of, You know, I don't know, Call it some folks have described as kind of a shamanic break, Or maybe a psychotic break or hypo. What's another word that people use hypomanic experience, But I was kind of like, I'm like, I'm having, You know, Perceptions and thoughts that I totally know are not accurate, But they seem really real to me right now. And so I was able to kind of hold both of those minds together. It seemed that at my work and in other areas of my life, Things that people were saying were taking on another level of significance that were that was seemed more magical than your everyday life. And it kind of led up to, I was about to leave for Mexico and I skipped work, I was wanting to can I felt that it was important to connect with Yancina before I left and declare some kind of intention to have some kind of relationship with her at that time, I thought romantic relationship was out of the question. So I the only way I could think about that was was like, Let's build community together. And so as you know, I walked into her office one day with some with some Mardi Gras beads and kind of said, I'd like to build community with you. I don't know what that means. I know this is super weird. I think it's not what I normally would do. But it just it also feels like what I'm supposed to do. And she said, Well, Thank you. I have to go back to work now. So jumping over to many years later, You know, We celebrated our 10 year anniversary. The main point is that when we come to celebrate our 10 year anniversary and inviting people, Marta, Who helped her make the mandala wrote this email, Which I think you saw there, Which really helped to anchor the whole thing and give some like, You know, I think some credibility to the wackiness that I was experiencing, But saying she found an old email that Marta had written saying, I know you will celebrate your 10 years together and, And you will be with your family. And so I mean, She forgotten about that completely. She just unearthed this email like six months ago when we were kind of preparing. And so to see that, At that time, Kind of put a whole different spin on it. And I'm like, Oh, My God, We have to show this email, Like at the end. But honestly, You know, I feel like it even continues a little bit because the way I'll wrap this up. So what some dear friends of mine who are Sherry and Steve came also, They're both they're both pretty smart people, Both like intellectually, But also spiritually or something like that. And so when I told Stephen Sherry about that experience, Steve added something that I think is useful. And he said, Well, You, You know, They know me well. And they're like, You, You're kind of possessed, Like what you're describing is that you were possessed. And so the analysis that we came out of that dinner at the spaghetti factory that night was that, You know, The mandala worked, And it was quite powerful magic. And basically, I got caught up in it. Personally, The way I understand magic, I don't think it was directed at me. It's just that sometimes you put a strong burst of energy out there, And you happen to be in that laser blast and receptive on the right frame, You know, And you get caught up in the whirlpool. And then I also feel like, Well, If that's true, And that was a very, You know, A powerful magic spell, It seemed to me also that even the end, You know, The ending with how much calamity kind of came about, It resonates with me as sometimes the kinds of things that happen when you cast a powerful spell, And there's a there's some unintended consequences. And sometimes you gotta, You gotta pay for that. You know, When you were initially starting to tell this story, And you started talking about Marta and the mandala and the spell that was cast, And then you kept talking, In my mind, I thought, Oh, My, That was a powerful magic. Yeah. So I think you're right, When you create and then bless that magic to go out into the universe into the world to do its work. You don't know how it's going to affect everyone, What the second and third order ramifications are going to be, Who's going to get trampled over, You know, Who's going to go flying over the front of their bicycle? Yeah, Yeah, Totally. And I was really struck by your telling of feeling not like yourself. Yeah. And how you showed up the world pulse offices, And you had those, I think you had necklaces, And you put them around Mardi Gras beads, And you put them around her. And it was just, It was surprising to you. Because you were you were thinking, This is not me. This is not this is not how I act. And it was surprising to Yancina, Because she was in a meeting and didn't expect you. And when I heard that story, I thought, That's fascinating. It's like, It's like you were possessed. It's like you were in the throes of something that had sort of taken you over. I thought that was fascinating. Yeah, If I want to make it a little less, You know, Intense, We could say maybe compelled or something like that. Well, I appreciate that you all sent mandalas out to everybody, Because I need to print mine out. Be careful with that. I know, I've got to be really careful. Yeah. And now I know. Yeah. Now I know. Thank you for the warning. Yeah, I feel like we you know, Like, We thought it was a great idea from originally to send the mandala out. But I feel like if I was going to do that over again, I would say, I mean, Some people have already picked up on that just from how we're our evolving understanding of it. But I think we should have said, Like, Look, This, This thing works. And it can have some unintended consequences. I think I would have said, Like, If you're serious about, You know, Sending out that intention for love and partnership, This might work for you. If you're not don't don't fuck around, You know, Use with extreme prejudice. Yeah. As I keep saying over and over again, In this podcast, What we need is more connection, More conversation, And more community. And that's exactly what Patrick's organization, People, Places, Things is fostering. For more information on this excellent organization, Please visit my website, Bite sized blessings. Com. And note of the episodes show notes, You'll find a link to Patrick's website. I need to thank Patrick for sharing his story with me today. And I also need to thank the creators of the music used Lilo sound, Alexander Nakarada, Winnie the Moon, Kevin MacLeod, Frank Schroeder, And Sasha end. For complete attribution, Please see the bite sized blessings website at bite sized blessings. Com. On the website, You'll find links to other episodes to cool websites to change makers, Or making this world a better place to artists. Each and every one of these I hope lightens and brightens your day. Thank you for listening. And here's my one request. Be like Patrick and Yancina. Believe in love. Believe that that love that you've always wanted is out there. Find yourself a love mandala. Put that magic out into the universe. But be careful. Use it with caution. Put that magic out into the universe. Knowing that eventually, Love is going to find you. Transcribed by https://otter. Ai