Episode Sixty-Six: The Interview - Susan St. John

Susan had no idea when she took the medication for her safari that it would send her into a state of psychosis. Listen to this episode to hear about that journey and her experiences there - and finally, how she came to be saved.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 66 of Bite-Sized Blessings.

We talk a lot of different miracles and a lot of different magical occurrences on this podcast.

I like to try to step back and allow my guests to form their own ideas of what a miracle looks like in their lives.

In this episode,

I get to interview the author Susan St.

John,

Whose book,

Mad Mischief,

Tells the story of how at one point in her life she found herself in a situation that was so unexpected and so terrifying.

It really took the work of a couple of angels to rescue her.

In this episode,

For me,

The miracle is the miracle of friendship.

Of those that find their way into our lives,

And wonderfully and surprisingly,

They become best friends.

They become people who have our backs,

Who love us truly and will do anything for us.

For Susan,

It's her friend Genya,

And I'm going to read the dedication at the beginning of Mad Mischief to kind of let you know just how dear that friendship was.

I've shortened the dedication just a bit,

But you'll get the gist of what Susan is saying here.

To my dearest friend Genya and my brother David,

This dedication is best understood by knowing that each made a trip many years ago that in all likelihood saved my life.

David rarely saves me for myself anymore,

Unless of course I let him,

And Genya died in April of 2006.

On her deathbed,

She looked at me plaintively,

Threw her arms up and her typical,

What can we do about this gesture,

And said,

You have to go back to Africa so I can rescue you.

This podcast is about that kind of friendship,

That miracle of friendship,

The friendships that change our lives.

So now,

Without further ado,

Episode 66 of Bite-Sized Blessings.

When I went to Africa on safari,

People who went there were put on a drug called larium,

And larium was a drug that was fast-tracked without proper testing.

What nobody realized when it was prescribed for me was I was also on an antidepressant,

And the minute you mix an antidepressant with larium,

You go into a state of psychosis.

So I viewed everything on that safari through the lens of psychosis.

I didn't grow up in a religious household because my father was Jewish and my mother was Catholic,

And he was going to take me to get started on my bus mitzvah,

And then he died.

And my mother didn't pick it up with the Catholicism until,

Actually,

Many years later when she wanted to marry a man who was Catholic,

Very Catholic,

And so she had us going for lessons,

Catechism,

I guess you call it,

Lessons.

We would walk from the private school into town a couple times a week and then sit in this big leather chair that we usually fell asleep in and begin that process,

But we were confirmed,

All three of us,

But then never followed up with it after my mother died.

When I went to Africa on safari to Kenya and Tanzania,

People who went there were put on a drug called larium,

And larium was a drug that was fast-tracked without proper testing so that it could be given to the young men who were going to Vietnam.

What nobody realized when it was prescribed for me was I was also on an antidepressant,

And the minute you mix an antidepressant with larium,

You go into a state of psychosis.

So I viewed everything on that safari through the lens of psychosis.

What happened to me was I was with my now ex-husband who was very,

Very emotionally abusive,

And the guy who was unbelievably misanthropic,

And he and my then husband ganged up on me.

And what happened was that I was writing in my journal,

Which I had originally bought for the purpose of noting where we were and what we were seeing when my then husband took photographs,

But instead what happened is the animals seemed to be teaching me lessons.

So if we saw an animal,

I would write down the lesson that I thought it was teaching me,

Like we saw a cheetah,

And the cheetah had cubs,

And the cheetah slowly got up and then did this big sprint and got its mouth around a hare,

An African hare,

And the guide said,

I can't believe she went for that hare.

She'll have to eat several more times today.

So I wrote in the book that the hare was teaching me to be not proud,

But to be wise and do the right thing.

All of the animals we saw taught me a lesson in my deranged mind.

What happened was I was getting more and more crazy,

Really.

I told my then husband that I wanted to stay in Africa because I was writing this journal and there were a lot of things that I needed to know to fill it up,

And they had kept telling me,

My husband and especially the guy,

To put the journal away.

So I didn't have all the information that I wanted,

And he couldn't believe I was going to stay,

But stay I did.

What was a miracle was that I wasn't kidnapped or killed or held for ransom because I was doing things like walking down the streets of Nairobi in high heels with jewelry,

And you just don't do that.

I was very,

Very lucky in that regard.

And then also after three months,

I think it was,

My dearest friend,

Who's now deceased,

But the book is dedicated to her,

Came with my brother to rescue me.

And had they not done that,

I would have gone through all my money.

As it was,

I went through half a million dollars giving it away and loaning it to people and such.

They came and brought me back to California.

That was really a miracle because God only knows what would have happened.

When I got back,

I was diagnosed as being bipolar.

And while I was in Nairobi and Tanzania,

I was on the manic side.

I was on the upside.

But you always come down.

And coming down is a very,

Very difficult process.

And you can be down for,

In my case,

A year.

I spent a year in bed because I had been manic for so long,

For probably three months.

It was just a terrible time in my life because people would ask me if my husband took me out to dinner or something.

People would ask me how I was.

And I didn't even know how to answer.

I couldn't hold a utensil.

It was shaking so much.

I was shaking so much.

That was really a miracle that I was able to get out of there because my best friend and my brother came to rescue me.

And then I was able to get diagnosed and get on the proper medication,

Which is Depakote,

For me,

And to go through that terrible down period,

But then to finally,

After a year,

Come out of it.

And now I'm completely normal.

People don't know that I'm bipolar unless I tell them and I tell everybody,

So.

.

.

In any event,

That was definitely a miracle.

In fact,

It's strange because when I got out of bed,

I went to see a therapist in Ojai.

And the therapist told me that this man I had met and fallen in love with was really an angel who was put there to save me.

And I got goosebumps all over me,

But I never went back.

But in truth,

He was like an angel,

A man I met halfway up Mount Kenya at a cabin called Rotundu.

He just kept appearing in my life at various points in the safari every time I needed a hug or to have a little dose of self-confidence.

He was there.

It actually turned out that about a year or so later,

After I divorced my husband,

He and I got together and we met in various places all around the world.

That was a miracle,

My getting the diagnosis,

My getting brought back home and so forth.

I can't even begin to say or think what would have happened had that not occurred.

I think it's a miracle that I wrote the book,

Actually.

This is the book.

Get it at madmischief.

Com.

But it's a miracle because so much of what is in that book came from my subconscious.

And I start to reread that book for the hundredth time.

And I cannot fathom how I wrote that book.

The only thing that I can attribute it to was my subconscious was allowing me to write what I wrote.

And I did go back actually to Nairobi about four times after I initially wrote the book just to check on facts because this notebook that I had kept,

Because I was so out of my mind,

It was really illegible.

So I went back and got all the information nailed down and so forth.

I still read that book and I don't know how I did it.

It was a miracle.

Another miracle actually is when I was staying in Nairobi after my ex-husband left,

I got kicked out of one hotel after another,

But I finally wound up in the Nairobi Safari Club.

And there was a man there at the concierge whose name was Myshak Nico Orowa.

And he was the only person I think that I met,

One of the few who didn't want anything from me.

Everybody else wanted money or to be able to come to the United States or something of that nature.

He didn't want anything.

Except he wanted me to see where he had come from.

This Lou,

That's the name of the tribe,

Village.

And he wanted me to go with he and his two daughters and his wife,

Marisha.

So I asked him if I could have his daughter spend the night with me before we went the next day.

So his daughter,

Dorothy,

She didn't speak any English.

She only spoke Swahili.

She went to the table next to the bed and she picked up a pad of paper and then she would point to things and want me to write down the English translation.

She did that all through dinner and through breakfast the next day.

And I went into the gift shop and I bought her a dress and then she wanted one for her sister.

When I saw Myshak,

The next day,

I said,

Myshak,

This girl needs to be educated.

She was so smart.

I'll pay for the education for both of your girls.

And so he named his second daughter Susan Francis.

Francis is my middle name,

Susan,

My first name.

So I've been supporting,

I sent them both to school,

To college,

And they've both graduated now and have been for 20 years supporting supporting his family because when he retired from the Nairobi Safari Club,

They don't have a pension or an IRA or anything of that nature.

So it was something that really helped him and has continued to help him.

I was going to ask just for clarification,

So the larium,

Was that something you took just once before you left or was it,

Do you take it through the whole trip or how did it work?

You take it once before you leave and then you take it once a week while you're on safari.

It really made me upset.

My stomach upset and everything.

It was quite strong.

And now nobody prescribes a heria.

They just prescribe antibiotics if you're going so you don't get malaria.

No,

It's off the market now.

And I think that the doctor who prescribed it,

Who's brilliant,

He just he couldn't believe all the information that came out about it once they discovered the effect of it.

So I'm lucky in that regard too.

I mean,

I was on it,

But I got off of it and I was properly diagnosed finally as being bipolar and I'm on good medicine now.

So that's all good news.

My best friend's name is one,

She's deceased now,

Genia,

G-E-N-Y-A,

She's Armenian.

And when I was a vice president at a division of MCA,

Universal Studios,

I was vice president of sales.

I needed more people working for me.

And so I called the typing pool,

I guess it was,

And they sent me up Genia.

And Genia was probably 20 years older than I was.

But interestingly enough,

She didn't have any compunction about working for somebody as young as I was at the time.

She always would tell people how smart I was.

And now she enjoyed working for me because I was so smart and that was very unusual.

People usually want the best for you until you get it,

And then they don't want it for you anymore.

But she wasn't like that.

She was like my best friend,

My sister,

My mother.

And I'm just so sad that she's deceased now.

I mean,

It has been for quite a while because I took her with me all over Europe.

That was a fabulous trip.

I just have to say that your dedication to her at the beginning of the book is so beautiful.

And when I read it,

I thought,

Because I've certainly had a friendship like that in my life,

I just thought this is true love friendship right here.

I mean,

You can tell that you two were very,

Very close.

And I just think it's so important to honor those kinds of people in our lives.

Her daughter,

When her mother Genia talked to her daughter about,

I was really sounding crazy on the phone and talking too fast and making these grandiose plans,

Which is when you do what you do,

If you're in a manic state.

Her daughter,

Adrienne said,

Go rescue your other daughter.

And so she came and my brother didn't want her traveling alone.

So he came with her,

But actually he was very upset with me because I had asked him to buy about 20 plus thousand dollars worth of camera equipment,

Which I was going to give to the guide because he had kept saying throughout the safari that he needed better camera equipment and what have you.

He was like a National Geographic type of photographer.

He was so good,

But he needed this better equipment.

I finally had him do it,

But he was so upset with me so that he decided to come with Genia to check out what was wrong with me.

He stayed a week and then he went back because I couldn't take him anymore.

And Genia stayed with me about two weeks more.

And then we flew back together.

And I think from what you're saying is when you were there in Africa for that period of time,

You really have no sense that your behavior was erratic or that you were feeling manic.

Is that true?

That is true.

Although,

Well,

I didn't know anything about being bipolar or manic or anything of that sort.

I didn't learn about that until I got back.

In fact,

When the doctor said that I was bipolar,

I thought he meant I like to travel a lot from one pole to the next.

In any event,

I should have known something was wrong with it because I was talking so fast.

Nobody could understand me.

I couldn't sleep at night.

I would be up all night.

I was constantly sweating,

Even though the air conditioning was on really high.

I was spending money like a drunken sailor.

Like I said,

I went through $500,

000 of my own life just by giving money away or loaning it to people.

I felt pretty sure we're never going to give it back.

No,

Everything I did felt very reasonable to me.

You know,

It sounds like Genya is one angel in your life,

For sure.

And then this gentleman in the cabin also,

Because he seems you said he popped up really kind of surprisingly at these times,

Maybe when you needed some support or needed,

You know,

A helping hand or a hug or what have you.

And I think it's just such a beautiful story that I think you said a year and a half later,

You two finally connected,

You know,

For real.

Were you surprised at that connection?

Or did you kind of always feel it was going to happen?

Well,

I really fell in love with him at the cabin,

But I didn't think we'd ever get together.

And by the way,

His name in the book is Brandon Howard,

But it was really Philip Leakey,

The youngest son of Louis and Mary,

Or the middle son of Louis and Mary Leakey,

Who discovered that mankind evolved out of the Great Rift Valley,

If you don't know those names.

I don't remember if I contacted him or he contacted me,

But once we got in contact with each other,

We just started meeting all over the place,

First in Italy,

Then Ireland,

Then New York.

Was he also a scientist?

I'm so curious.

No,

Philip Leakey was the first white man to be elected to Parliament.

And he,

After he left Parliament,

He just started a number of different businesses.

In fact,

If you Google him,

You'll see that he and his wife,

They make these beads out of grass,

And they're all different colors.

And it's,

They're beautiful.

And I guess they sell them all over the place on the internet and at Saks Fifth Avenue and so forth.

It sounds like you've met some really interesting people in your in your life.

I have.

I've been,

Well,

I've been very blessed to know Genia,

Really blessed.

And I think those people,

When they come into our lives,

It can be so unexpected.

I mean,

We don't actually know what role they're going to play in our lives,

But somehow they become these blessings and these gifts and these angels in our lives.

And it sounds like Genia was exactly that for you.

I mean,

She flew halfway across the world to rescue you and bring you home at a time when no one really knew what was happening with you and where you were at,

Where your mind was at.

That's the sign of a true friend.

That's the sign of someone who deeply loves you.

And we should all be blessed to have those kinds of angels in our lives.

So thanks so much for listening to episode 66 of Bite Size Blessings,

Where I get to interview the incredible and brave Susan St.

John.

You can find her novel,

Mad Mischief,

Which tells the complete story of everything that happened over there in Africa at madmischief.

Com or by going to bitesizeblessings.

Com,

My website,

And clicking on the link under the episode's show notes.

I'm so grateful to Susan for sharing her story and for being so vulnerable.

It's not an easy story to tell.

And I applaud her for her bravery,

For putting herself out there.

I need to thank the creators of the music used in this episode,

Sasha End,

Music L.

Files,

Raphael Crux,

Mikhail Hellman,

Alexander Nakarada,

And Winnie the Moog.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite Size Blessings website at bitesizedblessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to books,

Music,

Artists,

And changemakers,

I think are trying to make this world a better place.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Susan.

Appreciate and cherish your deep friendships.

Appreciate those who love you and those you love.

Ask yourself,

Whose angel can you be for today?

Knowing that you yourself are surrounded by angels on all sides.

Thank you.

Reviews

Beautiful. Thank you 🙏