Episode Nineteen: The Byte - Father Jesse

Meet Father Jesse, a groovy Orthodox priest who loves Tolkien, once had blue hair, played in a rock band, and was a barista! The story of his adoption is his miracle-listen in on our conversation on what it means to be chosen.

Transcript

I was given up for adoption when I was eight weeks old.

My birth mother had previously had an abortion.

And I only bring that up to say that it was a possibility.

It was something that she had entertained in the past and saw as an option.

And so the first,

I would say the very first miracle in my life is that she chose not to do that.

My name is Father Jesse Robinson.

I'm 41 years old.

I like to say that I am a child of God,

Created in His image and likeness.

I am a husband to Uria Chelsea,

Xejna,

And father to three boys,

Four,

Two,

And eight months.

And I am an Orthodox Christian priest and the assistant pastor at Holy Trinity Orthodox Church in Santa Fe,

New Mexico.

How was that?

That was awesome.

That was perfect.

That was perfect.

I was given up for adoption when I was eight weeks old.

My birth mother had previously had an abortion.

And I only bring that up to say that it was a possibility.

It was something that she had entertained in the past and saw as an option.

And so the first,

I would say the very first miracle in my life is that she chose not to do that.

And instead,

Give me what ended up being a very loving family.

But one of the things,

My parents were so great.

They,

You know,

I grew up watching,

You know,

Like afterschool specials or like weekend sitcoms where they deal with the topic of adoption and it's parents like telling a main character that they're adopted like well into their teenage years.

And I don't,

You know,

I'm not gonna cast any judgment on someone who decides to do that.

It's just a really difficult decision and it's hard to navigate.

But I would like to make a plug for how my parents did it,

Which was they told me from the very beginning that I was adopted.

My dad is an artist and he drew a little cartoon storybook for me and it was part of stories that they told me going to bed that there was somebody who loved me so much but they couldn't take care of me.

So they took me to some people who could take care of me.

And framing it in this really great way of being chosen rather than being given up,

Which was just really incredible and really made me feel loved by my adoptive parents.

What's really great about this is that fast forward to just like five years ago,

I decided I wanted to track her down and ended up finding her and she is an incredible woman and we have a great relationship.

She was beyond thrilled to hear of like how my life ended up.

Like she's a Christian herself in a different denomination,

But because of our common belief,

We have a lot to talk about and we relate really well.

And it's really funny because I think had she raised me,

This may have been one of the endings that she would have hoped for.

There's a lot of horror stories out there and I feel for those folks who the story doesn't end well.

My wife and I had both sort of come to the resolution that it didn't matter how she was.

We decided we didn't want anything from her.

My wife and I talked through a lot of some of the worst case scenarios.

Like what if she's just terrible or what if she says something terrible or what if she's entirely absent?

What if she's dead?

A lot of these different scenarios and we decided that we were gonna take the step together to reach out to her,

That we decided we don't need anything from her,

But that what we wanted to do was no matter who she is or what her situation was,

Was to convey that gratitude for the decision that she made.

And also regardless of who she turned into,

We both sort of thought she's got to be wondering what's been going on.

And so we would offer,

We would want to offer some of that closure to her.

So we wrote this long,

Tracked her down,

Found an email address and a mailing address for her,

This long letter and just basically saying what I just said there.

She wrote back and well,

One of the first things I said,

I was like,

I'm pretty sure you're the one.

I'm not sure if you're the one.

So maybe whether you are or you aren't,

You could verify for me.

And then when she wrote back,

Her very first line was,

Yes,

It's me.

And it's so interesting to me,

I'm sure that a lot of women who gave up children experience intense grief,

Of course,

But then also guilt around that decision.

And so I'm so glad and grateful that you were able to connect with your mom and that she's such an amazing human being.

I mean,

That's such a gift and it must've been such a,

I don't know,

Ratification maybe for her that she made the right decision that she did the right thing.

We would come home,

I mean,

In the recent five or six years,

We come home for holidays and he just invites all the people who have nowhere else to go.

I mean,

You know,

Those folks who like,

They just don't really have anywhere to go on holidays.

Well,

They can go to my dad's house.

And so he has this very,

I guess,

By Orthodox Christian in America standards,

A very big Facebook following where it's all kind of like misfits and rag tags and not the proper sort of mold that we would think of kind of your,

Just kind of typical pious Christian,

Although they are very devout and pious.

I think what's so interesting about that is,

I think I hate to sound so cynical,

But a lot of people do not want to see those on the outskirts and I'm not sure why that is.

Maybe because they're afraid one day they will be on the outskirts or they're afraid of sliding into that reality themselves,

Or it's just too painful to witness,

But you have to be a pretty spectacular human being to help and be with people in places that are bleak and really difficult places to inhabit.

So it's both of you.

That's amazing.

I mean,

One of the things I wanted to say to you about your adoption story is that what I love is there's two really beautiful miracle moments.

One,

When your biological mother chose to keep you and give you up for adoption,

And two,

When you were able to meet her and have a relationship and find out that she's super groovy.

I mean,

Those are both really precious life moments.

So thank you.

Yeah,

My pleasure.

I'm happy to share that.

Also,

I think,

You know,

Part of me feels that adoption is a tough subject for a lot of people to talk about.

You know,

For a lot of people who can't have children,

There's a lot of shame and a lot of guilt that they're not able to conceive.

And so,

You know,

They're carrying that.

And then of course,

For the biological parents,

Parent,

There's a lot of shame around not being able to care for that child.

And so it's a subject that is really,

Really heavy,

I think,

For most people.

Yeah,

I definitely try to be sensitive to that when talking about it.

And I think that's part of what made it so great for us was sort of realizing like,

The end of my story is not the same as everyone else and how grateful I was for that.

Thanks for listening to episode 19 of Bite Sized Blessings,

And I hope to see you next time.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.