Someone walks into the room wearing something you'd never wear.
And before you've even finished a thought,
Your mind has already formed an opinion.
Has that ever happened to you?
Like maybe,
Why would they wear that?
Or,
That doesn't suit them.
Or maybe you go further and criticize their body parts too.
And I know it happens in less than a second.
And most of us don't even notice it happening.
And if you've ever wondered why judgment shows up so automatically.
Even toward people who've done nothing to you.
Maybe you don't even know them.
I want to explain what's actually going on underneath it.
Because it's not really about them.
At all.
By the end of this video,
You'll understand the real difference between judgment and preference,
And why judgment creates the contraction it does in your body.
Just one small shift.
That starts to loosen it.
Hey,
My name is Kinga.
I'm a somatic trauma release and nervous system practitioner.
Let's get into it.
So we judge,
And we judge the way someone dresses.
The way they speak,
Their choices,
Their lifestyle,
Their looks.
We form these quick opinions based on our own experiences.
Preferences,
Beliefs and conditioning.
But here's the key inside.
I believe,
Worth sitting with.
Judgment is subjective.
It isn't objective truth.
It's simply a point of view,
Shaped entirely by your own filters.
Judgment has a physical signature as well because the moment you judge something Maybe you haven't noticed it,
But I can tell you that your body tenses slightly.
Your mind locks onto the thought,
And you might even feel a small flicker of superiority or irritation.
And that's an energetic contraction happening in real time in your actual body.
So it's not just an opinion floating in your head.
And I want you to now compare that to.
.
.
Simply observing.
This person chose this outfit today.
No story attached,
No opinion,
No judgement,
Just just noticing and being okay with it.
And in that version,
There's no resistance,
There's no.
.
.
Contraction or tightness.
It's just neutral.
And the moment passes.
And you stay open.
You might be thinking,
What's actually wrong with having an opinion?
Isn't it natural to have preferences?
The key difference is this.
A preference is a personal choice.
Now,
Judgment adds a layer of right and wrong on top of it.
So,
I can give you an example.
A preference is simply an acknowledgement of what aligns with you,
What feels good to you,
What you personally enjoy.
For example,
Preferring tea over coffee,
Or warm weather over cold,
Or the other way around.
It comes from awareness.
Not resistance.
But judgment carries an emotional charge and a verdict.
I prefer tea is neutral,
But if you say coffee is disgusting and people who drink it have terrible taste,
Now that's judgment.
That's a huge judgment.
The real difference is allowance.
You can't have preferences while still letting other people have theirs without making either of you wrong.
So again,
Judgment contracts.
Preference had with awareness.
Expands,
It allows freedom for you and for everyone you're not busy judging.
And here's what I really want you to hear.
Judgment is almost.
Never actually about the other person,
The person you judge.
Often,
Underneath judgment,
There is something else entirely.
It could be insecurity,
Fear,
Shame,
Or old conditioning that you absorbed long before you ever had a say in it.
And also sometimes you judge because you were taught to.
That's the kind of environment you grew up in.
Sometimes because you fear.
Being judged by yourself.
And that's the reason why you judge or sometimes because you need to feel more certain,
More right,
More safe in the words that once felt unpredictable.
So judgment at its root is protection wearing the costume of an opinion.
And this is exactly what I woke up to.
Through step-by-step with you inside my course.
The title of this course is Create a Judgment-Free Life.
Both toward yourself and toward everyone around you.
And this course goes deeper into just breaking the habit of judgment at the root.
Not just managing it in the moment.
Here's a practice you can begin today,
Even before you take my course.
So,
Throughout your day,
I want you to simply start noticing when you judge.
Thought about a stranger's appearance.
A sharp opinion about someone's choices.
A critical remark forming in your mind about how someone is living their life.
And you don't need to change it yet.
That's not the point.
I just want you to notice it,
To observe it.
Without judging yourself for judging.
And when you catch it.
Ask one gentle question.
What's beneath this?
What's beneath this?
Are you judging because you were taught to?
Because you fear being judged in return.
Because you need.
Some kind of a validation that whatever validation this gives you.
And I want you to.
.
.
To stay with that and by exploring what's underneath the judgment,
You learn something real about your own emotional patterns.
That's always more useful than the judgment itself ever was.
So I would like to invite you to practice this with me right now for a moment.
So bring to mind someone you judged recently.
Even for something small.
And instead of judging the judgment itself,
Just get curious.
What could have been beneath that judgment?
What was it protecting?
What felt unsafe there?
You can also ask yourself.
What am I ashamed of?
And just let the answer come to you if it comes.
You don't have to force it.
And again,
You're not a bad person for judging.
We all do it,
To be honest with you.
But judgment is just an old strategy formed a long time ago,
Still running on autopilot.
The goal was never to eliminate it through judging yourself or self-criticism.
The goal is to notice it.
Get curious about what it's protecting.
And slowly loosen its grip.
For the people around you.
And honestly,
Most of all,
For yourself.
So I would like to invite you to explore the course,
Create a Judgment-Free Life.
And let me know how it lands.
You can leave a comment in this video.
And I see you there,
Or maybe in the next video.
Or maybe both.
