Hello everyone.
I'm Kate Swaboda,
Also known as Kate Courageous from YourCourageousLife.
Com.
And welcome to today's meditation,
Which is about letting go of what other people think.
Now as you're getting settled,
Arranging yourself into whatever position or posture feels most relaxing for you.
You can have your eyes open,
Closed,
Whatever feels right.
Deep breath.
Letting go of what other people think is a tall order.
And you'll probably hear me say a couple of things that you've heard before in today's meditation.
And I offer those things with the intention that they soak even deeper into your soul and who you are.
But first,
I'm going to say something that might surprise you.
And it is this.
It's hard to let go of what other people think and thank goodness that it's hard.
Now you might be thinking,
Wait a second,
Thank goodness that it's hard?
Why would that be a good thing?
Well to me,
If you find it difficult sometimes to let go of what other people think,
It's a good thing because it means that you are still connected to your humanity.
I want to support you in not letting what other people think control you.
But I just want to acknowledge for a moment that the fact that you care in a world where unfortunately so many more people are becoming disconnected lacking empathy,
Lacking any sense of caring about how their actions or words impact others.
I see it as a positive thing that you still care.
Now again,
I want to support you around not letting what other people think control you because that does bring suffering,
It does bring pain,
And we cannot be fully who we are when it controls us.
I just want to point out that the fact that you care means something in today's world.
It speaks to your desire for connection.
It speaks to the part of you that wants to relate.
If you haven't taken a moment recently to acknowledge yourself for that fact,
Please do it now.
Please sit now in the beauty of the fact that you care.
You are a caring human being.
And now let's unpack letting go of what other people think.
So arrive in whatever posture feels right for you.
Let's take a deep breath together.
And let it out.
I'm going to repeat a phrase several times during today's meditation session and just notice how your body receives it.
Notice if there's a little crack where the light can get in and you can just let go of some of the tension of trying to hold a position around this.
So here we go.
You get to be you.
You do not have to do what other people think you do.
You get to be you.
You do not have to do what other people want you to do.
You get to be you.
You do not have to do what other people want you to do.
You get to be you.
You do not have to do what other people want you to do.
It is an illusion that they will love you less or love you more based on whether or not you do what they approve of.
It is their choice how unconditionally they will love you.
You are not gaining anything by doing what they want in the hopes of winning their love.
You have no control over how unconditionally they will or will not love you.
That is their decision.
You get to be you and you do not have to do what they want you to do.
Yes,
It is true there are people who will reject you.
It is true that there are people who will say or do things that are unkind or that are hurtful.
Yes,
It is true that they may even tell you if you had done something different,
If you had not said or done that thing,
If you had done or said something else,
We would be okay right now.
And I realize that they believe that that is true.
But they are the ones deciding how unconditionally they will love you or not love you.
They are the ones who will love you.
They are the ones deciding whether or not they will relate.
You get to be you.
You do not have to do what they want you to.
If the price that you pay in falling out of someone else's favor is that you get to find out who is willing to love you unconditionally,
That is actually a small price to pay.
Every single moment that you are clearer on who will love you without conditioning,
And who is trying to set conditions,
The more empowered you are to stop spending as much time chasing the approval of people who are setting up their lives to love you with conditions,
The more empowered you are to let go of the exhausting struggle of not being able to love you.
To try to maintain their favor.
To try to twist yourself into a pretzel so that they will love you,
Which you cannot actually court.
You get to be you.
You get to be you.
And you deserve to be in the presence of people who will love you without conditions,
Who want to relate,
Who are in the game of,
Yeah,
You might make a mistake,
I might make a mistake,
You might do something I don't like,
I might do something you don't like.
Let's figure it out.
Let's figure it out together.
I love you enough that I'm willing to let you be who you are without having to be different to get my love.
And just consider in your own life,
Where is the opposite dynamic playing out?
Where do you place an expectation,
A condition on someone else to show up in a certain way if they want to get your love?
And here I'm speaking about something that is beyond respect.
Respect,
Of course,
Is a basic,
Fundamental aspect of humanity.
What I mean is,
Where are the places where people can be if they want to be different to you?
Where are the places where beyond respect you hold someone else's love under a condition?
And is there an opportunity for you to release?
And is there an opportunity for you to release?
The act of you releasing your own conditions can show you where it is that when other people hold a condition,
An expectation,
A judgment of you,
It's all about them.
There are people in the world who will love you without conditions.
Perhaps our greatest fear when we are letting go of what other people think is that perhaps we will be left with no one.
And that is a very deep fear.
And again,
It speaks to you about the fact that you are not alone.
It is a very deep fear.
And again,
It speaks to your desire to connect,
To relate,
To give and experience love.
But it is a fear.
It is just a fear.
And it is one that you can choose to let go of simply by acknowledging that it's just a fear.
It's not true.
And that you can let go of what other people think and consciously and intentionally seek out those who love without conditions.
You get to be you.
You do not have to do what other people want you to do.
As you go into your day,
My wish for you is that you remember these words and that you bring to every interaction the desire to give and to receive love without condition.
Thank you.
Thank you for being willing to undertake this journey and this work for the good of yourself and for the good of all of us.
