Letting Go Of What Other People Think

When you feel stuck because it's tough to let go of what other people think, it's time to reconnect with your sovereignty. This meditation helps you unhook from people-pleasing or guilt patterns, as well as the fear of what other people might say/do/think about how you live your life. The result? Feeling free.

Transcript

Hello everyone.

I'm Kate Swaboda,

Also known as Kate Courageous from YourCourageousLife.

Com.

And welcome to today's meditation,

Which is about letting go of what other people think.

Now as you're getting settled,

Arranging yourself into whatever position or posture feels most relaxing for you.

You can have your eyes open,

Closed,

Whatever feels right.

Deep breath.

Letting go of what other people think is a tall order.

And you'll probably hear me say a couple of things that you've heard before in today's meditation.

And I offer those things with the intention that they soak even deeper into your soul and who you are.

But first,

I'm going to say something that might surprise you.

And it is this.

It's hard to let go of what other people think and thank goodness that it's hard.

Now you might be thinking,

Wait a second,

Thank goodness that it's hard?

Why would that be a good thing?

Well to me,

If you find it difficult sometimes to let go of what other people think,

It's a good thing because it means that you are still connected to your humanity.

I want to support you in not letting what other people think control you.

But I just want to acknowledge for a moment that the fact that you care in a world where unfortunately so many more people are becoming disconnected lacking empathy,

Lacking any sense of caring about how their actions or words impact others.

I see it as a positive thing that you still care.

Now again,

I want to support you around not letting what other people think control you because that does bring suffering,

It does bring pain,

And we cannot be fully who we are when it controls us.

I just want to point out that the fact that you care means something in today's world.

It speaks to your desire for connection.

It speaks to the part of you that wants to relate.

If you haven't taken a moment recently to acknowledge yourself for that fact,

Please do it now.

Please sit now in the beauty of the fact that you care.

You are a caring human being.

And now let's unpack letting go of what other people think.

So arrive in whatever posture feels right for you.

Let's take a deep breath together.

And let it out.

I'm going to repeat a phrase several times during today's meditation session and just notice how your body receives it.

Notice if there's a little crack where the light can get in and you can just let go of some of the tension of trying to hold a position around this.

So here we go.

You get to be you.

You do not have to do what other people think you do.

You get to be you.

You do not have to do what other people want you to do.

You get to be you.

You do not have to do what other people want you to do.

You get to be you.

You do not have to do what other people want you to do.

It is an illusion that they will love you less or love you more based on whether or not you do what they approve of.

It is their choice how unconditionally they will love you.

You are not gaining anything by doing what they want in the hopes of winning their love.

You have no control over how unconditionally they will or will not love you.

That is their decision.

You get to be you and you do not have to do what they want you to do.

Yes,

It is true there are people who will reject you.

It is true that there are people who will say or do things that are unkind or that are hurtful.

Yes,

It is true that they may even tell you if you had done something different,

If you had not said or done that thing,

If you had done or said something else,

We would be okay right now.

And I realize that they believe that that is true.

But they are the ones deciding how unconditionally they will love you or not love you.

They are the ones who will love you.

They are the ones deciding whether or not they will relate.

You get to be you.

You do not have to do what they want you to.

If the price that you pay in falling out of someone else's favor is that you get to find out who is willing to love you unconditionally,

That is actually a small price to pay.

Every single moment that you are clearer on who will love you without conditioning,

And who is trying to set conditions,

The more empowered you are to stop spending as much time chasing the approval of people who are setting up their lives to love you with conditions,

The more empowered you are to let go of the exhausting struggle of not being able to love you.

To try to maintain their favor.

To try to twist yourself into a pretzel so that they will love you,

Which you cannot actually court.

You get to be you.

You get to be you.

And you deserve to be in the presence of people who will love you without conditions,

Who want to relate,

Who are in the game of,

Yeah,

You might make a mistake,

I might make a mistake,

You might do something I don't like,

I might do something you don't like.

Let's figure it out.

Let's figure it out together.

I love you enough that I'm willing to let you be who you are without having to be different to get my love.

And just consider in your own life,

Where is the opposite dynamic playing out?

Where do you place an expectation,

A condition on someone else to show up in a certain way if they want to get your love?

And here I'm speaking about something that is beyond respect.

Respect,

Of course,

Is a basic,

Fundamental aspect of humanity.

What I mean is,

Where are the places where people can be if they want to be different to you?

Where are the places where beyond respect you hold someone else's love under a condition?

And is there an opportunity for you to release?

And is there an opportunity for you to release?

The act of you releasing your own conditions can show you where it is that when other people hold a condition,

An expectation,

A judgment of you,

It's all about them.

There are people in the world who will love you without conditions.

Perhaps our greatest fear when we are letting go of what other people think is that perhaps we will be left with no one.

And that is a very deep fear.

And again,

It speaks to you about the fact that you are not alone.

It is a very deep fear.

And again,

It speaks to your desire to connect,

To relate,

To give and experience love.

But it is a fear.

It is just a fear.

And it is one that you can choose to let go of simply by acknowledging that it's just a fear.

It's not true.

And that you can let go of what other people think and consciously and intentionally seek out those who love without conditions.

You get to be you.

You do not have to do what other people want you to do.

As you go into your day,

My wish for you is that you remember these words and that you bring to every interaction the desire to give and to receive love without condition.

Thank you.

Thank you for being willing to undertake this journey and this work for the good of yourself and for the good of all of us.

Reviews

Beautiful. Just what I needed today. Thank you. 🙏

I really needed this 💓 Thank you for reminding me I can shed people's judgements they place on me. I'm awesome! I can be free if I can let go of worries of what others think!

Beautiful, powerful words that resonated deeply for me. Thank you. 🙏🏼❤️😌

Thank you. Eloquent abd true. This is what I needed.

What a beautiful, affirming practice. I appreciated the acknowledgment that letting go of what other people think is difficult but I also appreciated the perspective that it can often stem from a desire to remain connected to those around me.

This is my work for the month: to let go of conditions (both from others and from within), to live more authentically, and to not shy away from the discomfort and trust in the process.

Thank you for sharing your gentle wisdom, your time, and your energy in creating this guided meditation! What a wonderful offering! 🙏

These are words that I needed to hear. Thank you Kate 😊🙏

So helpful. I will reflect on your message for some time. Thank you.

Very interesting and a fresh take on this important topic. Thanks!

Highly recommend this meditation. Being thanked for caring was a very nurturing way to start and set the tone for the rest of the teachings/meditation.

That was one of the best meditations I have ever listened to…thank you for such an empowering message! 🙏🏻

This was very timely for me.
Makes soo much sense! Plan to come back to this one! Thank you 🙏🏻💕

This is so just what I needed to hear
Thank you .... 🫶🏾🙌🏾🩷

Very good. The beginning was totally unexpected. To say that people who care about what other people think, are people who actually still care, was an interesting perspective. Following that part of the discussion, was a truly intimate and healing experience. Thank you.

You make a mistake, I make a mistake, seek out the people who are ready to work through that with love. Wonderful meditation. Thank you 🙏🏻

She said everything that I felt but couldn’t find the words for. Thank you so much! I feel much relieved.

As a person who constantly feels the need to be a people pleaser, I found this meditation to be very refreshing. Thank you 🙏

Thank you for this 🙏🏽It has brought me understanding of myself and others and how we may place conditions of love due to fear. I’m manifesting unconditional love in the new year 💙The meditation gave me an understanding of letting go and how it brings peace in my heart. Thank you 🙏🏽

FREEDOM. Is all how I can explain it. So relaxed physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Thanks for this talk, it’s helping me to set boundaries and see that I don’t have to be the source of other peoples happiness.

Love love love this. This is very resonating and insightful