Making Courageous Decisions

Making decisions can feel stressful, leaving you tossing and turning at night or ruminating on what to do--so let's use this guided meditation to start seeing decisions as pivot points for being more courageous and stepping into your most courageous self and making courageous decisions.

Transcript

Hello,

I'm Kate Swaboda,

Also known as Kate Courageous from YourCourageousLife.

Com.

Welcome to today's meditation,

Which is all about how during those times when we're making tough decisions,

We can notice the places where we second guess ourselves or worry that we're making the wrong decisions,

And instead step into making courageous decisions.

Let's go ahead and begin.

When meditating or taking time for presence,

However you think of this process,

I always encourage people to remember you have agency.

You're the one who gets to decide how you want today's session to go.

So let that be a pivot point we can use around how we think of decision making.

You're the one in charge.

You get to decide.

So take a deep breath if it feels right to,

If you notice that it's helpful.

You could close your eyes if it feels right to,

If you notice that it's helpful.

And notice that you're just making decisions all the time.

And it's okay.

And that at any moment,

You can make a new one.

And isn't that one of the most delicious things about being alive?

There are plenty of things in the world that we don't have control over,

And I know that sometimes that can be really scary to think about.

But we do have control over where we place our intentions.

And we do have control over where we place our attention.

And we do have control over where we respond or how we respond.

So again,

You're invited to just tap into what brings you to presence.

Just because a meditation instructor has said that deep breaths and closing your eyes are the way to go doesn't mean that you have to.

Part of making courageous decisions is honing in on your own personal true north.

What is it you want?

And pausing periodically so that whatever you're deciding to do to center yourself,

You have a moment,

You have space to do that.

And throughout this meditation,

At any time,

You can return to those practices.

Maybe you want to move your pinky finger a little bit.

Maybe you like keeping your eyes open.

Maybe you want to hold a talisman in your hand,

Something that offers comfort.

Maybe you want to wrap yourself in a blanket.

It's totally up to you.

So let's get into making courageous decisions.

One of the things that people have shared with me that can be such a struggle when you need to make decisions or something in life needs to change is the fear-based thought,

What if I'm making the wrong decision?

What an interesting thought.

Let's unpack it a bit.

Is there even a wrong decision?

That thought coming up,

What if I'm making the wrong decision?

What if I make a mistake is really what's under it.

So first of all,

Can there even be a wrong decision?

And second of all,

What if you make a mistake?

What if it happens in life,

People make mistakes?

I would invite you to consider that there really are no wrong decisions,

Perhaps only short of those that involve a betrayal of our own personal integrity.

Your own personal integrity can be a beautiful guide when you are making these decisions.

Do I move somewhere new?

What if it's a big mistake?

Well,

Is moving somewhere new,

Contrary to your integrity?

Does it bring you out of alignment with your integrity?

And if the answer is no,

Then whether you stay or whether you go,

There's not really a right or wrong answer.

This question can also come up around relationships.

Do I stay in this relationship or do I leave this relationship?

Once again,

Integrity can be a touchstone for you and for your personal integrity.

Is there more integrity for you in staying or is there more integrity for you in leaving?

Maybe you're even wondering,

Well,

What is integrity exactly?

Here's the definition I use.

It's from Matthew Marzell and it is,

Integrity is when your words and actions match and they are in alignment with your values,

Beliefs,

Commitments,

And life vision.

Integrity is when your words and actions match and they are in alignment with your values,

Beliefs,

Commitments,

And life vision.

So there is a piece in there about integrity relating to doing what you say you're going to do.

That's the words and actions part.

But those also need to be aligned with your values,

With your belief system,

With the commitments you've made,

And with your life vision,

Which is the bigger vision that you have for your life.

There really is no crystal ball.

There really is no way to gauge in advance whether or not you're going to be satisfied with the outcome of your decisions.

So in other words,

When you watch other people make decisions,

Even when they look really confident,

They're not running them through some kind of matrix that lets them know,

Here's how you know you will forever be happy with this path and not the other one.

And of course,

You know that logically on some level,

But it can be helpful to remember that those people over there,

They're just winging it too.

Everybody's just doing the best they can with the tools that they have and the information that they've got.

So there you are,

And you are in the process of making decisions.

And as your mind goes back and forth and back and forth,

It can just be helpful to give your mind a little break from even needing to decide for a moment.

Again,

There really are no wrong decisions.

As long as you're staying aligned with your personal integrity,

You're making every decision in this moment,

Doing the best you can with the information that you have.

So often we think of courageous decision making as this kind of unflappable confidence,

Where you just know what you need to do and you take action and you follow through to the end and that's it.

And it's beautiful when those moments in life happen.

But again,

Everybody's just doing the best they can with what they've got and the information that they have.

That's it.

I know that when you're making a tough decision,

It can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

But here's the key to feeling better.

You're the only one who can take that weight off because you're the one who put it there.

Not intentionally,

Of course,

But the pressure that you put on yourself to somehow make the right decision,

Air quotes around the word right,

Is exactly where stress enters the picture.

There's a beautiful courage to be experienced when you recognize that you feel afraid you're going to lean in anyway and you're willing to experience the transformation of just trusting that you're going to land on your feet.

If you make a decision and it all turns out exactly as you would have hoped,

Then great,

You landed on your feet that way.

And if you make a decision and you see nothing but roadblocks and challenges or heartache and you go,

That was a mistake,

Then you have also landed on your feet.

That might surprise you to hear,

But you've landed on your feet going,

I've learned something.

Next time I'll choose differently.

But again,

You can always pivot.

There is no mistake that it's impossible to recover from.

Someone somewhere in the world has made every kind of mistake imaginable and someone somewhere in the world has figured out how to forgive themselves,

Extend themselves grace and compassion for doing the best they could with what they had or what they knew,

And then deciding to treat this new moment as another moment to make a decision.

The more you practice this,

The more you get the gift of experiencing profound trust in yourself,

The more you get the gift next time of going,

You know,

I know how that went last time.

Let me again trust that I am doing the best I can figuring this out.

And wherever I go,

I will land on my feet.

I know.

I really do.

I do know how it feels to be wrestling with the back and forth and the what if and the if only and the maybe I could and the feeling stuck and then feeling like maybe you can do it and then inexplicably feeling stuck again.

I do.

And no one can save you from that.

But you can save yourself the stress when you decide.

I will simply do the best I can with the tools that I've got and the information that I have because that is the only way anyone decides anything.

No one can predict the future.

You can create your future more powerfully,

More courageously,

However,

When you decide again,

I'm willing to just do the best I can with the tools that I have and the information that I've got.

And see if you can find any part of you that feels a bit of relief in that idea.

Find your body.

See what you notice.

You will always land on your feet.

You will always have another opportunity to choose.

You are invited today to lift the pressure off of your shoulders and decide.

I step forward with courage.

Reviews

Such good reminders. Thank you. Also thanks for making this music- free.

This message was incredibly helpful today as I sit in the morning sun with a multitude of heavy decisions. Thank you.

I appreciate your comment to step back from making a decision. And that’s exactly what I’ve done, while gathering info. And even with all the info that I’m gathering, I realize there is no right path to take. I just need to choose one for myself even though those around me may be putting pressure on me to do the right thing! Thank you Kate! ❤️

Thank you! I’ve been stuck at the crossroads of a few major life decisions for literally years. I was frozen in a fear-based holding pattern around my home, relationship, and career choices. Your wisdom about using integrity to make decisions and trusting that I’ll land on my feet has clarified them ALL in less than 20 minutes. Thank you again! ❤️

Wonderful meditation. Thank you!!
I really appreciated the pace and the pauses. Gave me time to let the questions you put forward fully resonate with me. 🙏💕

I love this and plan to listen to it repeatedly as I grapple with a large decision. Thank you so much!

Incredibly helpful meditation for me today. Thank you so much.

This meditation had just what I needed to hear. Thank you!

Great

Thank you for your unique view! Hope to see more of your meditations 🌸

I really enjoy listening to your meditations. You are so upbeat and I always learn from you! 🦋💖🙂

Wow, tremendous. Thank you!!

I can’t express how much this has helped me today!
I feel like I have woken up from a dream that has put things on the path I need to follow and help to restore the courage I have lost.
Thank you.

Perfection

Amazing, thank you for empowering me to make decisions that align with my integrity

Thank you 🙏

This started off unconventionally- which I normally embrace- but I was unsure of it at the beginning. However, I continued to listen and I’m really glad I did! She gives lots of great insights and I’m feeling much more calm about a big decision I have to make. Thanks 🙏

Thank you, helped me feel more st peace with a decidion I had to make.

Wow, I needed that!

Thank you so much! 🙏 I need to hear this again and again!