Hi,
My name is Karen.
All of us at some point in our lives will experience loss.
And with loss comes grief.
And healing after a loss of someone you love is not something you can rush or push through.
It's so important that you actually create space to sit in and experience the pain of loss.
Without moving through the pain you can't heal.
And so if you would like to sit with me for a while I'm not going to ask you to let go of your pain.
Instead I'm going to invite you with courage and compassion for yourself to sit in it.
Make yourself as comfortable as possible.
Bring in a box of Kleenex.
Have pillows and a blanket.
You have suffered a loss.
Let's begin by taking a deep breath in and exhaling out through your open mouth in a sigh.
I know that it can feel very hard to breathe in deeply right now.
It may feel as though your breath is trapped high up in your chest.
And so don't force.
Instead just acknowledge that for now this is where you are.
And try as best you can to breathe in.
And then breathe out completely.
Let it go.
Nature allows us this beautiful sigh.
It is a means for us to release some of the pain,
The tension that we hold.
We don't change the pain.
It isn't gone.
It feels perhaps its weight is lifted slightly for a moment.
And we're granted a brief respite from it.
Grief can come to us in many ways.
But it is felt it's experienced in a similar way through our bodies.
We feel loss in our heart.
And from that pain radiating out a heaviness overtakes your body.
Though you're exhausted sleep evades.
It's impossible to focus.
And you try to do what you must.
Pay the bills.
Feed the cat.
But the fact is that heaviness that you're bearing,
That ache in your heart is telling you that it's not time to move on.
And so while the rest of the world may seem to have moved on,
You need to step off the carousel for a time.
I wish that I could tell you when this ache will ease.
But it's different for everyone.
Pain will take its time to move through you,
And it is tempting to distract yourself from that pain or to numb it.
But the more that you resist its invitation to mourn,
The more it will continue to doggedly rest on your shoulders,
Drawing you down like a leaden weight.
The dreams and hopes you had for the future have changed irreparably.
The notion of setting new goals or plans,
Dreams,
Seems hollow and uninteresting.
It's all right to acknowledge this pain.
And while it may feel that it will push you under the surface,
You'll rise up again.
But for now,
Let the shades be drawn.
Allow the lights to be turned off.
And cry.
Let yourself cry.
Let your tears stain your cheeks.
It's okay.
In time,
You will look back on this moment in your life,
And while you will always carry the residual pain in your heart,
It will be easier to remember good moments.
Moments in the sun.
It's okay.
Even though it doesn't feel okay.
It's important that you allow yourself this time to sit with this pain processing it,
Coming to understand it.
This is a time for self-compassion.
You will always feel this loss to some degree.
But the wound will heal.
There will always remain a scar.
But that scar will come to be a reminder of something that was beautiful.
And no matter that its time was too brief,
You were a part of its beauty.
And that can never be taken away from you.
What remains is the love.
You may never feel fair.
And you may never come to accept what has happened.
But if you allow yourself to process this pain,
You will come to accept the reality of what has happened.
Compassion to self.
Take all the time you need.
Know that you are not alone.
And that I hold you and your pain in my heart.
