Finding Peace In Each Breath

I'm about as American as it gets - 4th generation San Franciscan on one side and on the other, descended from Jews who fled Europe to Canada first, then quietly made their way down into Nebraska with what they could carry, which our family is pretty sure didn't include anything fancy or legal, like immigration papers. I was raised to believe in the pursuit of happiness and that when the going gets tough, the tough get going: those characteristically American endeavors. I see the wisdom in both.

Transcript

Hey everyone,

It's Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Kyle 347.

We are coming to the end of the Dhammapada.

Not that,

Not that we could ever come to the end of such a rich text,

But at least this time through,

We're almost at the end.

So there are 26 chapters and this is chapter 24.

And the title of today's chapter is Craving.

And so craving,

Where does this fit into mindfulness?

Well,

The historical Buddha said,

I teach one thing and one thing only,

Suffering and the end of suffering.

Suffering,

Some teachers say they prefer the word stress and either way,

You know,

It's inevitable,

We lose cases,

We lose clients,

We fail at what we're doing.

Our relationships get shaky,

Our parents die,

Our kids get their hearts broken,

Our friends move away or get sick or get mad at us.

You know,

We don't always get what we want,

Right?

And we get things we don't want like bad news and we're imperfect.

We're not the best litigator or the best mom in our own eyes,

Right?

So what do we do?

Well,

Here in the US,

We engage in that,

I think,

Kind of uniquely American bequest,

Which is the pursuit of happiness,

Right,

Trying to locate happiness in the wins,

The wealth,

The relationships,

The All worthy goals,

But all temporary,

All unstable and all eventually gone.

And so,

You know,

We're not the best litigator or the best mom in our own eyes.

Right?

So what do we do?

Well,

Here in the US,

We engage in that,

I think,

Kind of uniquely American bequest,

Which is the pursuit of happiness,

Right?

And all eventually gone.

So what do we do when we aren't happy,

When things get tough?

Well,

When the going gets tough,

The tough get going,

Get going,

My dad always says.

Yeah,

He grew up in a tiny Western Nebraska town and he's echoing that other very American thing,

Also human thing,

Which is,

You know,

Not to quote unquote,

Waste time with pain and sorrow,

You know,

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps,

Take it on the chin,

Get going when the going gets tough,

Do anything but be with whatever difficulty is happening.

The pursuit of happiness,

The tough get going,

Either way,

A kind of striving,

Wanting things to be different,

Living in contention with what is,

And that's craving,

The title of chapter 24.

And according to the Buddha,

Craving is the cause of suffering.

The underlying things,

The losses,

The disappointments,

Sorrows,

Imperfections of life,

We can't do anything about those.

But spending our lives in pursuit or getting going instead of being with,

We can do something about that.

We can come to the present moment.

We can be mindful of the present moment and we can be mindful that in this present moment,

There's the possibility of peace.

Whether things are going well or aren't going well,

Right here in the moment,

Right here in this moment,

In this breath,

There can be peace.

And maybe these verses of chapter 24,

Which the chapter itself is fairly long,

But these verses maybe say it most succinctly.

For people who have agitated thoughts and intense passion and who are focused on what's pleasant,

Craving grows more and more.

But those who delight in calming their thoughts and are always mindful will bring an end to craving.

So look,

Our whole world is agitated right now.

Everyone seems either passionate or checked out,

And I feel that too.

There's a tremendous focus on what's pleasant,

Except for those who are focused on surviving,

Which makes up a very big chunk of humanity for various reasons,

War,

Climate emergency,

COVID.

And in the law,

This all seems amplified.

There's a great deal of agitation,

Stress.

I did my first in-person presentation on Tuesday and asked this big group of lawyers,

And yes,

I mean,

There's just a ton of agitation and stress and a huge focus on more,

More work,

More billable hours,

More money,

More clients,

More wins,

Even more options for wellbeing.

You know,

There's kind of a competition for wellbeing right now out there in the big firms anyway.

And it's a graspy time in general,

And especially in our profession.

There's so much craving,

So great a misunderstanding of peace and where it lies.

And maybe you've also noticed it's self-perpetuating.

I have yet to hear about a firm that says,

You know,

Our profits per partner are enough,

Let's lower our billable hour requirements.

Let's lower our rates.

Let's take on fewer clients.

Right?

So we're looking not only at individuals,

But at organizations and a whole system built around craving.

Craving because more equals happier.

Craving and avoidance of pain and sorrow because avoiding pain and sorrow equals happier.

For people who have agitated thoughts and intense passion,

And who are focused on what's pleasant,

Craving grows more and more.

The great news is we can work with our practice and see this.

We can see just by unpacking this together and also by sitting and noticing how we feel in our bodies,

That whatever supposed happiness and peace and security arises from pursuing happiness and getting going when the going gets tough,

It's fleeting.

It requires that the conditions that created the happiness and peace continue and that we can successfully avoid the pain.

Which is impossible because everything's always changing.

You know,

Pleasure turns to pain and back to pleasure again and yaying to loss and back to gain and praise,

To blame,

To praise,

To blame and fear.

To blame and fame,

To ill repute,

To fame,

To ill repute,

To fame.

Which is why,

As the next verse says,

Those who delight in calming their thoughts and are always mindful will bring an end to craving,

Right?

Which we know how to do.

And we can calm our thoughts.

We do it all the time when we sit.

We do it when we use stop.

Remember,

Stop.

Take a breath,

Observe,

Proceed.

And we can do it a little more often,

Right?

We can sit for a little longer each day.

If you're sitting for two minutes,

Sit for four.

If you're sitting twice a day for 0.

1,

Sit three times a day for 0.

1.

You know,

Instead of hopping on Twitter for that 0.

1 or 0.

5 or whatever.

We can set a timer every 30 minutes instead of every 60 minutes to take those three conscious breaths.

We can remember to look up and get five people in our line of sight instead of three,

Five times a day instead of three,

And just secretly wish them well.

We can include our opponents in those well wishes,

People of different faiths,

Different races,

Different genders,

Different political views,

Different countries,

Different beliefs.

All of these ways that we can practice coming to the present moment and finding happiness and peace just right there,

Just right there.

Right there,

Just right there,

Because that's all this is really about,

Right?

Remembering,

Being mindful that in this moment,

This present moment,

Peace really is possible and it's the only place it's possible because it's the only place and time when peace doesn't depend on pursuit or on getting tough or on anything.

It just depends on being able to take a breath.

So we can test out that theory right now together and just sit together and breathe.

So finding your posture,

The posture that is most supportive for you right now in this moment,

And taking a moment to really become aware of your body and what would be best for you right now.

Maybe taking a look around even,

Giving yourself the opportunity to convince yourself of whatever safety is available to you right now,

That whatever that is,

Is truly available right now to you.

And then,

Just taking a moment to really be able to take a moment to really think about what is best for you right now.

That whatever that is,

Is truly available right now to you.

To help support the peace in this moment.

And then connecting with the earth.

Whether she's just beneath your toes and you can feel the ground under your feet or whether she's 20 stories down,

Then in your imagination,

Connecting with the earth.

And then connecting with yourself,

Just checking in,

In this brief,

Sweet,

Sweet laboratory that we are giving ourselves,

Kind of a gift of just a few minutes.

How am I?

Check in.

How am I?

Remembering to welcome whatever is here.

And connecting with each other.

The other 40 people who decided to give themselves this gift of just sitting in silence for a few minutes.

And then locating the breath.

And just inviting the attention to float along with the in-breath and the out-breath.

Gently,

With curiosity,

Maybe turning the corners of the mouth up a tiny bit.

And if any troubles or worries or planning,

Planning or concerns slip in,

You can just bow to them and say thank you.

I'll catch you later.

And let them go.

Come back to the breath.

And let them go.

Wandering mind,

Worry,

Concerns.

Create them all with a warm attitude and let them go.

Come back to this moment,

This breath.

A piece of nothing to do,

Nowhere to be,

No one to be.

And let them go.

And let them go.

And let them go.

Maybe one or two more breaths and letting that peace imprint itself on your heart.

And let them go.

And let them go.

And let them go.