Acting Out In Our Journey To Remember

How lovely that we can be in the space.

Come on in.

Let's do such a lovely connection.

You know,

We always get better.

This body just wants to recover,

Wants to get better.

We've just got to give ourselves a little time in those down times to know that we will recover.

I think that is one of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves other than caring and the nurturing,

All those other wonderful things that we do.

To ourselves,

I know,

I know I'm going to recover.

I know I'm going to be okay.

Honestly,

That was the greatest gift that I ever received from a medical person was the note that I would get better.

I cannot tell you how I clung to those words from a professional person who up to that point,

Everyone had pretty much written me off.

I flew all the way from South Africa to New York City.

To have an appointment with this wonderful woman,

I managed to see her on Christmas Eve.

Can you imagine?

She looked at all my stuff and she said,

Just the one thing that I heard,

Nothing else.

She said,

Don't worry,

You will get better.

You will get better.

To know that I smiled and laughed the whole way home back,

It was just the most beautiful thing.

Life-giving words to hear that I would get better.

And of course I did.

So give yourself permission to hear that,

My treasures.

This body,

This mind,

And this being wants to get better.

We just give it the time and the space to do that.

We've been hammering at it,

Knocking hard upon it for so,

So,

So long.

And then we expect ourselves to get better in one day.

Well,

We didn't take one day just to break ourselves and do all the wrong things,

Did we?

Took a long time,

Little increments of craziness here and there,

Here and there.

And eventually all of that says to the system,

No,

I don't think so.

This is not the way I want to be held,

Breathed into,

Moved through.

This is not it.

So it gives us a shutdown.

Those shutdowns do come.

Please,

When you know those,

Know them well and know what it is that you are seeking,

What you are desiring,

And just bring your focus towards that.

Whatever you can hold on to,

That will remind you who you truly are.

It's a huge journey,

Isn't it?

I love it that we got each other and we can hold each other.

That is the muscle we've got to develop,

The trust.

We want quick fixes.

We want fast remedies.

Those things don't bring about a sense of trust.

They just bring more speed and this and that and a little bit of an arrogance.

This is how it's got to be and that's it.

This entitled energy that we also develop.

When we are in a space of difficulty,

We learn other ways of connecting,

Thinking and calibrating in this life.

So wherever you are,

Just know that it is for you where you are right now and be present.

Be present with what is.

It's not forever.

Nothing is forever.

Everything's moving.

Everything's flowing.

Let's use that time beautifully.

Thank you for being here and holding this energy that we can all be together and whatever it is that we are experiencing in this life whatever we know in our own particular,

Unique,

And delightful way that is relevant.

Please don't think that you need to be like anybody else.

Definitely not.

Or that you have to process your life because they're fabulous and they look like they've got it all together.

My mother's favorite accolade.

Oh,

That person is so together.

Don't be so together.

Be real.

Just be real.

Please know you are going to heal.

Your body wants to heal.

Make a commitment to be here in this mind,

This body,

In this being.

And then do the work in the frame that you're in.

This is so important.

Make an agreement.

This agreement is the hardest thing for us to make.

It should be so easy.

We just go,

Oh,

I agree.

But oh my gosh,

You go and try and agree with yourself all day long.

Watch what happens.

I'm setting you a little task.

Go and be agreeable with yourself.

So today we talk about this little book that I wrote a long time ago,

Or that was written through me,

I should always say.

There's a story in here that I just can't wait to tell you.

The talk today,

We're talking about acting out.

This sweet little story I want to bring to you because that's what life is all about.

As we go in,

Settle down where you are.

Feel the connection to the earth and space.

And make a commitment to be fully present with yourself.

Don't get distracted with all the stuff around you.

Don't even get distracted with writing and typing.

Just be present.

All the other things that we distract ourselves in are creating distractions in our body.

So stop.

Allow yourself to be here and take a deep breath in my treasures.

Long,

Slow out-breaths.

Drop,

Drop into this moment,

Feel the connection.

You hear this mind,

This body,

This being at this time of a reality.

It is unique to you.

It will never be again.

You in this human vehicle has an opportunity to see through the lens,

Hear through the ears,

Understand,

Perceive,

Know,

Taste,

Smell,

Touch.

In all the ways that we are linked in to this world around us,

In the subtle ways,

In the concrete ways.

We are linked to each other,

To the entire world,

And to all that which is beyond.

Just know how beautiful that is.

Not one of us is out of it.

We are in the divine design.

Please hear that.

You're in the divine design.

There is no other design.

There's only one design.

We can choose to be wretchedly miserable in the one that we are in and see it through the lens of it's awful and we're awful and life is awful.

We can choose that.

But our outcome is going to be just that.

It's going to be awful.

Or we can choose to see it and feel it and move through it in a different way.

May the difference come into your awareness.

May you choose it and agree with you that you can choose it.

For every one of us who chooses to be different and not play the same predictable default game of survival,

We are creating something different.

That brings us so beautifully into the space that I want to talk to you about today,

Acting out.

For many of you,

You know that I was a preschool teacher.

My early career,

I loved these little beetles so much.

They would make me laugh all day.

When you watch little children,

They are so fascinating.

They're so free and clear,

So sweet.

I've cried so many tears with these little people and felt the pain,

The hardship of having to be in a world that truly does not understand them fully yet.

They come in vulnerable,

Exposed,

Open,

And all they can do is emulate and copy all the stories and the people,

The performances around them and find a way to be here.

If they're lucky,

They land in a family that supports that.

If they're not so lucky,

They land in a family where there's a lot of pain and sadness.

Either way,

These little people find a way.

So the first story that I wrote about,

And I won't tell you this one in too much detail because it was too sad.

That a little boy who was just five years old was in my center.

And his dead head.

Really beaten the mum up something very,

Very bad.

This little boy used to come and sit in my office with me and he would say to me,

Miss Joy,

You know,

Last night I lay under the bed with my little brother and his little brother was in year three.

I just held him under the bed and I held my hands over his ears so he couldn't hear my mommy and my daddy fighting.

I sang as loud as I could.

All the songs you taught us,

I sang as loud as I could so that he wouldn't hear how horrible it was outside.

Isn't that adorable?

Isn't that beautiful,

Resilient,

Strong,

Courageous?

That little boy really,

Truly did save that family's life and he did save his little brother and his mom.

So that was an incredible connection to a kid finding a way at that tender age.

With what was being related to him as life,

And this is how it is,

A reality.

But he found another reality within himself.

We have that,

My love.

We have this incredible ability to know something else because we are something else.

We are divine beings of light and love.

We have built in awareness of a higher consciousness.

And the moment we tap into it,

We open that up as an energy frequency,

A reality that begins to create.

It's a wonderful gift for us to realize this.

And time and time again,

I saw this through the eyes and the hearts and the tears of the little people that I taught so many years ago.

Never will I forget this other precious little child,

Julia.

Oh,

She was so fabulous from a French family.

And every day when she came to our class,

Little thing,

She would come shuffling all the way up the corridor and she'd get to the doorway.

And then I would say to her,

Good morning,

Julia.

How are you today?

And then she would pull on her whole Victorian drama queen and she would hang on the door frame.

Would lift her hand to her brow as if she was mocking a feint and she would lean against the door frame of adorable little French accident.

She would say,

I don't know.

I just seem to have such a headache today.

Her mom and I would just roll our eyes at this darling child.

I don't know.

I just seem to have such a headache today.

Every day she told me that.

Every single day.

And I said,

Oh,

My darling,

Do you think you're going to manage being here.

I would love it if you could stay.

I don't know,

She would waltz in and all the drama would be over.

All the acting out and out a sweet little funny baby girl and playing and being happy with everybody.

Such a sweet little thing.

You know,

Mum and I just adored this performance every single morning and gave her the space to be in it.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the performing in our lives was given some space and grace?

And we were kind to each other.

And kind to those with whom we live.

For where they are at this point in time.

If they are experiencing a lot of sadness and pain for whatever that reason might be,

We might never know.

Or they're just interpreting the life different to you.

You might think it's all perfectly lovely.

But the other person in your home,

Perhaps not.

Perhaps they're really struggling.

It doesn't match them,

Or they feel a deep sadness,

A deep wound,

A trauma that's locked in.

And it resonates in a different way.

Imagine if we all made space for everybody to grow up.

And to grow into who they are to become.

And allowed them to become these incredible beings.

While they're growing up to stay connected to the magical being that they are.

Their own unique,

Delightful being.

If we could do that to all the children and give that opportunity to them.

And if we could have had that opportunity,

Every single one of us in every single moment where we crashed and collided with life.

There was this higher awareness,

This kindness that came from someone who was a little bit more grown up.

It would make this world a very different world.

But because we've been playing in the survival story,

The place of pain and damage.

Defending and deflecting,

Denying,

Distracting,

Detaching,

Destroying,

Because we're playing in that game of survival that is so rough and so hard and so persecuting and judgmental,

Hateful and miserable.

Because we're playing in that game,

For any one of us to get through it to a point where we are now in our lives and have never received any kind of damage or pain,

That's impossible.

There's just no ways that we never encountered a spiteful person a mean being.

Or very difficult situation.

We've all known these stories.

And yet,

Like these little children,

Deep inside of us,

There is a sweetness,

This resiliency,

This courage.

And this individuality,

The unique spark.

The very breath of the divine is within every single one of us.

We are encoded to be here,

In this vehicle,

At this time,

In this way.

This is one of the most wonderful gifts that we will ever have,

Is to be present in the being that can process as it processes.

Not one of us processes like the other.

So why do we want everyone to think like us and act like us?

And behave like us.

There's so much shaming and blaming and condemning for that.

If they're not,

They don't fit in.

Oh,

They're not.

But perhaps we could just say this is a great big play.

A stage production.

And everyone has got a role and everyone's playing something.

Everyone's acting out.

Some of us are witnessing and sitting in the audience watching it and going tat tat tat.

Oh dear.

Some of us are just loving it and applauding it.

Some of us are playing this and that role.

They're all in the great production.

It is a grand show.

But what is it showing us?

What is the show all about for you?

What are you seeing?

What are you hearing?

What do you understand?

Because you get to look through that little window that gives you this particular life opportunity.

You are not broken,

My lovies.

You are just starting to open.

Every sense that you have within you that says,

Oh,

I can't go on anymore.

This is too hard.

It's exactly that that is urging you towards opening up a new window.

Opening up a new way of being in the world.

What do you think I hear immediately when I say this to somebody?

Immediately before they even get their next breath outcomes,

But how?

How do I do it?

Well,

For heaven's sakes.

How?

You cannot ask that of anyone else.

How do you do it?

Nobody,

Nobody,

I don't care how cute they are and I don't care what kind of fabulous therapist they are.

Nobody on this planet knows your particular story.

No one ever will.

No one ever can.

Only you know this particular story.

Only you know what it's like to be in this mind,

This body,

At this time,

With these connections around you.

Yet we drown in it.

Why are we drowning inside of our own story?

Why aren't we just living our story?

Men,

We come back to the great production.

Is because everyone's applauding or not.

They're either booing us.

And throwing rotten tomatoes at us.

Or they're cheering us on.

For those who have been cheered on,

We might have a sense of,

I can do this.

For those who have not been shared on,

It might feel very hopeless and sad.

You might feel lost in it.

But you,

My love,

Are you.

You hold the God code in you.

You didn't come devoid of it.

You don't have to become something great and wonderful.

Meditate 700 times a year so that you can now reach a level of expertise.

You are that already.

There was no grading,

No codes that tell you you've got to reach this,

The men you can be.

We are all the very breath of the divine.

We are that already.

All we ever have to.

Do.

And that's the word I want to throw away.

Do.

Because how do I do it?

How do I do it?

Is be.

We're a human being and we are to be with this being.

With our full awareness,

Our full kindness to this being that is willing to play this role in this life at this time.

There is something significant about you being here.

In your own particular and wonderful,

Ridiculous way.

There is something of value to those around you who are witnessing you in your life.

You my love.

Must now see.

That you have value in being who you are.

Just being who you are has value.

It has got nothing to do with achieving,

Accomplishing,

Learning,

Accumulating.

It's got absolutely nothing to do with that.

When we all finish doing this life journey,

We go home.

Every connection that is to us,

Every story that we've connected into just stops.

It's the most hilarious thing.

For those of you who've lost someone in your family,

You realize how many stories one person is holding onto,

Like a puppet master,

All those little strings just holding onto them.

And the whole family dances to the dance that is coming from the puppet master.

But when the master is no longer there,

The puppets no longer play the game.

And the game stops.

If you've not yet witnessed that,

You will.

And then pay attention.

Notice that the gap that is left.

The void that we all can't stand.

The sadness of being alone.

It is in that space that there is an opportunity.

For the something else.

To be directing your own performance,

Your own being here.

To act in the way that you feel perhaps now.

Is more aligned to you as your truth.

And maybe this is the first time you get to do that.

Maybe this is the first time you get to say to yourself,

This aligns with me.

This is truth.

And perhaps you were playing a game for someone else's convenience or just trying to show up in a way so everyone else was appeasing everybody.

But how happy are you?

How much in your truth are you?

Everything that is part of your journey,

You in it,

Is your distinctive journey.

Like a little drop going into a pond creating a ripple.

You,

My love,

Are here to create that ripple.

To change the surface upon which we are glistening,

Glowing and reflecting.

And become something different.

Every one of us holds that code in us.

We all seek,

Long,

Yearn,

Desire.

Every one of us.

There's not one person who is alive on this planet that doesn't have some desire seeking or longing.

The moment that is gone,

We're gone.

It is the God code held within our heart,

Activating our magnetic field.

With our mind and our heart electromagnetic field amplifying the vortex in which we reside.

Coming back home to you.

Come back into your deep sincerity.

No more shaming,

Blaming,

Judging,

Persecuting.

Finding ways to be like the little boy who later uncovered his brother's ears.

Don't be listening to all this clutter that's going on.

Tune in to this being that is here.

You know something.

You hold something.

You are a gift for this time.

If your vehicle,

Your human feels a little broken,

Tender or sensitive,

It is only increasing your capacity to be sensitive.

You are not broken.

You are starting to open.

If the only way we can get the message to open is to be a little bit vulnerable and broken in our body,

Then that will come about.

It will bring that message to you.

Don't be playing in that game.

Choose to stand in your truth now.

Choose to be in your higher self.

Choose to be the kindest being that you can be to your being.

You do that and you watch everything change around you.

You create the ripple because you,

My love,

Are the activator of it.

Heart and soul,

You are the activator of it.

Our grand performances will come to an end.

And everyone will applaud or cry.

What will you leave behind?

A legacy,

A truth,

A feeling,

A resonance,

Something intangible that no one can take away.

What would that be,

My love?

Hmm,

So much love,

So much love.

Take a deep breath in my lovelies.

Long,

Slow out-breath.

We just thank our guides and angels,

Divine persons for always being so close to us.

Call upon your guides that will waiting to help you.

There you go.

So much love to you,

My treasures.

So much love.