Release Trauma Signals - Depression

This episode delves into the cycle of constant busyness and the relentless pursuit of validation through accomplishment. It explores how we can become hijacked by our need to be efficient, fabulous, and recognized, leading to an unsustainable treadmill of ever-increasing speed and tasks. Learn the importance of coming into agreement with oneself to truly discern our actions and feelings, and why breaking free from seeking external validation is essential for well-being.

Transcript

This is such a beautiful space for us to remember who we are,

That we are beautiful beings of light,

And that's why we're showing up.

When we are with a community of like-minded,

Like-souled beings,

It just really helps us to stay connected and stay aware of what it is that we're supposed to be doing,

Even though it's there is turmoil and it's hardship,

Even though it's difficult and challenging,

Even though,

Even though,

Even though.

Just be in the spaces that we can be in to uplift us and hold us.

In this little community,

Just feel this loving embrace of light all around each other.

We're gonna do that now.

So today,

As we talk about trauma signals,

There's so many of these trauma signals and they are fantastically annoying because they cause hiccups in our day-to-day living.

Even with our best intentions,

With us trying to overcome and making plans and doing what we're trying to do and manage,

Manage hoping and coping,

My least favorite words,

Even though we're doing our life as best we can,

Sometimes these trauma signals just hit us,

Out the blue even,

And knock us off.

This causes a great deal of anxiety within our system,

Panic or anxiety,

Hardship or depression.

There's so many ways that we can react in our mind-body being.

Our reactive system,

As we know,

Is the system that hits the stomach,

Hits the adrenals,

And then throws out all those stress hormones.

Makes it very,

Very challenging for us to be in a body that is a soupy container of so much misery,

Stress hormones,

And reactiveness.

Very difficult then to come into this world in a way that is more considered,

More aware,

More quiet,

More conscious,

When we are playing in that reactive mode.

So we must know how to bring our energy into a better place.

That's really the very first thing we wanna do.

Notice how we're doing.

Notice yourself,

Not only when you're doing poorly,

When you're not feeling happy,

Because then,

For some fabulous reason,

We really pay attention,

Don't we?

When we're not feeling great,

Or when things go bad around us,

Or we're having a hard time,

It brings our focus acutely towards us.

Let's start at the very beginning of this,

And that is noticing where we are and how we're being in this being.

We want to build in some default reconnections that can help us at any given moment to come back and keep coming back and keep coming back.

We want to see these as reset points,

And these reset points are going to give us the ability to find those opportunities to reset,

To recalibrate.

So let's do that first,

My treasures,

And then we're going to unwrap this little story about depression,

Very big one.

We've all sat deeply within it,

Haven't we?

We know what it's like,

And we know what we feel like when we're in it,

And we know what the story is around us with those who are struggling and trying to pull us out of it,

But sometimes it just feels so deep and dark that we think,

Well,

Well,

We're stuck here.

This is it.

We can do nothing.

When we're in that deep pit of depression,

It's very,

Very challenging for us to find a way out.

So really what we want to do at this point,

If we are a little bit outside of any extreme energy field,

Is to start to build some scaffolding that we can stand upon that will help us and give us the strength and the protection,

The awareness to be able to be in the ebb and flow of this life.

Nice idea?

Let's do it together,

My lovelies.

Let's settle down.

If you can,

Come into this moment,

Be here,

Be here fully,

Be present,

And let's bring in a collective energy that is so beautiful that will help and support each and every one of us.

We'll take a deep breath in,

And we'll hold this beautiful energy together.

Now close your eyes if that feels safe and lovely for you.

Take a deep breath into your being.

Fill up this being with this life force energy,

And then long,

Slow out-breath.

Relax,

Relax,

Drop into the moment.

Soften your tummy.

Just for a few moments,

Notice yourself in this moment.

It's so easy for us to be distracted and notice the moments around us,

The stuff,

The doing,

The busy.

Train yourself to appreciate the moments when your mind-body says,

Can we just stop?

In those moments when your being says that,

Come into agreement with yourself.

Do that now,

That I'm giving this opportunity to me to stop.

Just breathing and noticing myself where I am,

Softening my tummy,

Relaxing the skin on my face,

Dropping the shoulders,

And feel yourself here in this moment.

Here you are.

Beautiful you.

There is something that starts to unfold the moment we agree with ourself.

We place within the space right now this energy of agreement,

A softening,

Allowing.

The whole system,

Your entire system starts saying,

I can trust you to hear me.

All that came about because we did one thing.

We came into agreement with ourself.

When we're busy and distracted and trying to do too many things,

It's very difficult for us to discern what we're doing and how we're feeling.

When we go into busy mode,

We so often go into automation.

We just do and do and do and do and do and do and do.

The part of us that loves accomplishment,

Getting things done,

Showing up and being fabulous and taking it off,

That part of us is the one that really hijacks us,

Grabs us and says,

But look how efficient,

Look how wonderful you are.

Look how much you achieved today.

Aren't you something?

It hijacks us and then slowly we start to rely on the feedback of that voice that aren't you fabulous.

People around us will say,

Oh my gosh,

I just don't know how you can do so much.

You're just so fabulous.

How do you keep it all together?

Well,

That just affirms that we better keep doing that so that we can continue to be in favor and to be recognized by those around us.

But this does not serve you,

My love,

Because the more you run on this treadmill of life,

The harder you have to run.

The more you increase your speed,

So much more speed needs to come into all your activities,

So much more must be accomplished so that you can continue to get those accolades.

The part of us that loves and seeks validation to be seen,

To be heard,

To be validated,

Oh my gosh,

Our precious human being loves that.

This will continue to perform in the way that makes other people notice us.

All the while,

There's this little screaming soul deep within your being that says,

I'm so tired,

So fed up with doing the same thing.

I just can't carry on anymore.

But everyone around us thinks they're helping us and supporting us by cheering us on.

Come on now,

Pull up your socks.

Let's just get over ourselves.

You can do this.

You know you can.

Come on.

All our life,

We've been cheerleaders,

Haven't we?

Aren't you absolutely thrilled to be a cheerleader?

We're absolutely sick to death of it,

Being told that you must be more fabulous,

That you must really show up in a way that makes everybody else feel very comfortable,

Very known,

Heard,

Or understood.

It's of great comfort when those around us are showing up in this fabulous way.

In the allure that they are doing so well,

Parents can say to other parents,

Oh,

But my child is never depressed.

My child really just knows how to keep it together.

Just wonderful,

Very organized,

And I never have to remind this dear child.

It's just a wonderful child,

Just keeps doing things and knows how to program and organize and get things done.

So successful,

So fabulous,

So successful.

Down,

Down,

Down in the great pit of sadness goes the soul who is trying to keep up.

It's exhausting.

I'm sure many of you have been there in your own way.

Those of you who are parents and grandparents,

Perhaps you've noticed it in those you know and love or friends and family members.

We've all known ourself or others in this place that seems hard,

Dark,

And unreachable.

Take a breath.

We know the story,

But do we truly know what's creating that story?

Have we stopped long enough to say that there was a whole lot of stuff that went ahead of this,

This point that I'm at now?

There was a lot of performing,

A lot of keeping up,

A lot of being in the moment,

A lot of game playing so that I can get to this point.

When the body and the mind,

This beautiful being says,

I cannot do it any longer,

Then everyone around starts tut-tutting.

Oh,

Oh,

Shame,

So sorry.

Oh,

Just collapsed,

Just couldn't do it anymore.

Oh,

Well.

No one knows what to do with you and you don't know what to do with yourself.

It is such a very,

Very difficult and challenging place for us to find ourselves.

If we could start to mark the points towards this deep pit of despair,

If we can start to notice that,

We have a very good chance of being able to manage our system in a different way.

I really don't like the word manage,

But in truth,

That is what we want to start doing.

When we buy a new car,

Some of us who love doing this,

One of us doesn't.

Definitely this one doesn't like learning anything from a manual,

But if we do have a manual and something goes wrong,

It is quite nice to page through the manual and find the solution to the thing that's got you a little stammied and you can't work out.

This is the manual.

This is the manual that will help us to do our life with more ease,

Grace,

And elegance.

So we start right at the very,

Very beginning.

Let's do this together.

Let's hold the space.

Let's teach the system how to do this journey in a different way.

If we don't restructure our mind and body,

Our thoughts and belief systems,

We will stay trapped in the same system,

The same stories,

The same beliefs,

Doctrine and dogma.

It will stay static and nothing will change.

Everything that we're experiencing,

The hardship and the despair that we are in will continue to be.

Everything just stays the same if we don't make a change.

So let's make a change.

Let's learn how to do this and let's hold the space beautifully.

So if you can now,

Let's be in here.

Let's hold this beautiful energy and let's learn how to create these stopping points so that we can get the point of what it is that we're in and know what to do in the moment when we feel the difference.

That's the trick,

Is to be paying attention to this beautiful being.

So where you are,

See if you can do this with me.

Stop right now,

Just stop everything.

I know it's great to chit-chat and all that and finger taps and that and do this in the sideline and just put your phone on the side and do about three other things,

But stop.

Give yourself permission.

When you are stopped,

Then find yourself connecting,

Anchoring.

Do that now.

Hold yourself in the space.

Just breathe and do nothing,

No thing.

Feel what your being is feeling.

It doesn't love it.

It's gonna try and push you to agitate,

To press you to do something.

Notice that.

And breathe into it.

Long,

Slow out-breath into that.

And continue to just be where you are.

Noticing your thoughts and noticing how your mind-body wants to jump into some kind of action.

When we hit a depression,

That part of us switches off.

It switches off because we weren't able,

Not listening to our mind and our body.

The whole being was saying,

Could you just stop?

Could you?

But we didn't listen.

So what do you think has to happen next?

If your system knows it's heading for a crash,

You're not listening.

What do you think is gonna happen next?

You might go on and on and wear yourself out to the point that now you actually are sick.

Now you're actually so badly coordinated that you're not able to regulate your left,

Right,

Your mind,

Your body,

Your being.

Things are gonna start going wrong.

All crazy things happen around you.

You're gonna fall,

You're gonna collapse,

Some part of your body's gonna get sick,

You're gonna get a tummy bug,

You're gonna get this,

You're gonna get that.

Things are gonna happen.

The system is gonna say,

I have to stop and you have to listen.

But if listening requires that we get sick so that we have permission to stop,

Sick in some way,

Whatever it is,

Mind,

Body,

Or being,

If we are relying upon our body to have to be sick or unwell or broken in some way so that we can stop,

Then we are creating a setup that is very hurtful to this beautiful being.

And I say that with so much compassion because that truly was a game that I know very,

Very well.

I played that game so superbly.

It took a very,

Very long time to get well again,

To see it and understand it in the fullness of what it was.

But in the point where we are just so completely depleted and disconnected from our awareness,

Our consciousness,

It feels as if we have dropped into the deepest,

Darkest pit.

I remember saying to my mummy all those many years ago when this hit me so badly that if I looked up,

In my imagination,

I just looked up,

I couldn't even see a tiny chink of light,

Nothing,

Nothing.

It was just darkness,

Dark,

Dark,

Depressed energy,

Depression,

Pressed down energy that was so heavy and so hard for someone,

All of us,

Light beings.

Oh my gosh,

That is so painful for us to be there.

It is so contrasting to who we truly are,

These beautiful beings of love and light.

So to find ourself in those deep,

Dark,

Depressive states where we've got nothing left,

This poor,

Lovingly body just says,

I'm sorry,

You've worn me out,

There is nothing left.

So now all you can do is sit down in this space because you would not listen,

You would not feel,

You would not acknowledge.

We are part of nature,

We are not a machine.

I truly operated my system like a machine,

It was ridiculous.

What I did in one day,

The next day,

I had to do so much more than just what I did in that day,

That I would lie in bed at the end of the day and just count off everything I'd achieved and accomplished,

Who I'd seen,

What I'd done,

Everything.

It was just a machine that was operating at the most incredible level of such an incredible being.

Of course we can,

We can show up,

We can be wonderful.

Oh,

But really,

Are we happy when we're doing that?

That level of having to accomplish and achieve.

And of course,

When I was younger,

Being able to really do things and show up,

We had no little devices,

We had no TV in South Africa,

We had no places where you could go to a device and switch off,

The best thing you could do was go into nature perhaps and sit down,

Which was probably the best thing anyway.

But today,

Kids have mechanisms and adults and all of us have it too.

Have you noticed that when you are most depleted and tired,

That's when you scroll the most?

Notice that,

Notice that your being is saying,

I need to become disconnected from all the buzz of the world,

I need to do something.

But unfortunately,

When we are scrolling as these children are on their devices,

There's all kinds of stuff that's just coming in.

There's no filter,

It's just endless,

Endless,

Hideous,

One hideous,

Amazing,

Oh my gosh,

How can you imagine that thing after another that comes into the scrolling.

Our beings are in the ebb and flow,

We are part of nature,

Wax,

Wane,

Season upon season,

We too need our winter,

Our downtime,

But we need it every day.

We need the up and the down,

The ebb and the flow and we need to be able to sleep properly,

Not anesthetize and knock ourselves out so that we can sleep,

That is not restorative sleep.

Find yourself back into theater,

You'll find beautiful binaural beats on inside timer,

Pop on one of the meditations,

I've got over 200 there,

As you listen to them,

Allow yourself to drop into that space,

Let the part of your mind that needs to focus on something do that while your body rests.

Do all my meditations when you're lying down and able to drop off and go into theater because that's when your system restores.

So we have a game plan now.

There are many energies,

There are many ways of showing up in this world.

We are fully accomplished,

We are amazing intuitive creative beings,

But we are not machines.

We are beings that are part of nature and life.

We've got to start remembering how to listen to this beautiful being.

When we listen and we agree with this being as you are right now,

Just stop and listen to your being.

Even if in this very moment when your being is saying,

Please,

I need you to stop or I need you to rest,

If you cannot,

You're driving the car,

You're doing something,

Just speak to your own being and saying,

It's okay,

I hear you.

We will stop quite soon and I will take a proper break.

Talk to yourself,

Become friends with yourself again,

Because the sadness that we feel,

The depression,

Is when we cannot trust our own self and our whole mind and body feels as if it's sabotaging our best efforts of being a human.

We lock ourselves into a very deep and dark and sad place.

It's very hard to get out of there.

Before you go into that place,

Mark yourself well in the journey of your transformation.

Notice yourself in this journey.

That's all it is,

It is a journey of awakening of awareness.

Let's become aware.

There's nothing wrong and there's nothing broken about us.

It's just the way that we are operating the system.

It's very,

Very confusing and it is not truth.

It is the story that humanity has created so that we can all feel comfortable in this great accomplishing,

Achieving world of ours.

That too is not truth.

We are accomplishing and achieving just by being here and holding a heart that is so filled with love and grace.

When we can do that,

We're doing way,

Way more than the stuff that brings in finances or supports this or does that.

You hold a gracious space as a beautiful being of grace,

You hold that,

Then watch what happens.

You start to cheerlead you in your authentic way and not rely upon the stuff around you to tell you that you're worthwhile.

Come back to you,

Breathe into this being,

Be kind,

Gentle,

Loving and considerate to this being as kind as you would be to your very,

Very best friend with the kindness that you would love to receive from the person you love the most.

You do that for you and watch what happens.

Everything changes,

My lovely.

I know the journey well.

I'm not just saying this is an outside story.

I know it well.

It's okay.

The deeper we go into the darkness,

The more we are aware of the light when the contrast reveals itself.

We can do it.

I'm sending you so much love.

We'll keep unwrapping these signals of great pain.

Slowly but surely,

We come back to our absolute and our truth.

May this be for you.

Thank you for you,

My treasures.

So much love.

Thank you for you.