Hello.
Forgiveness is a practice that can be challenging at times,
To say the least.
I know myself,
I've had trouble forgiving a range of people and situations,
Some of which would be easy to understand and some that are just plain embarrassing.
This practice will,
Though,
Over time,
Open the heart to the gift that is forgiveness.
And the gift is one you or I can give ourselves,
Because the burning of resentment only hurts the person carrying it,
Unless,
Of course,
You are the rare bird who actually carries out revenge fantasies,
Making those who hurt you pay through a strange and intricate series of twisted games.
You folks don't need me,
But everyone else,
It's only us who feels it.
Let's practice.
Find a comfortable way to sit,
Stand,
Or lie down.
Head above your shoulders,
Shoulders above your hips if you're sitting or standing.
Allow your posture to be loose enough to allow relaxation,
And upright enough to allow alertness and energy.
You might notice whether you're more prone to restlessness or sleepiness,
And let that determine.
I,
As a person prone to restlessness,
Find lying down quite supportive,
As there's almost no chance of me falling asleep.
I don't invite you to close your eyes,
But feel free to leave them open.
If you leave them open,
Just find a space a few feet in front of you with not a lot of busyness.
A blank wall would suffice.
And then come to your senses,
Starting with the sense of hearing.
Just notice any sounds without labeling them.
Just hearing.
Notice any sights,
Even the ones behind closed eyes or your blank wall.
Just notice seeing.
Notice any smells,
Any tastes.
And then notice any sensations that are calling your attention in your body.
Sore hip,
Tingly head,
Anything.
After you've settled into the present,
Bring to mind a being with whom you have a completely uncomplicated relationship.
Someone you know who loves you as unconditionally as possible.
A friend,
A pet,
A family member,
Whoever fits this description.
Now imagine the love they have for you,
And imagine you've done something to harm them.
And maybe,
In reality,
You have harmed them.
Maybe you haven't.
Now imagine them forgiving you completely,
No matter the harm,
Great or small.
Hear them say the words,
I forgive you.
I love you.
We're okay.
You don't have to suffer over this anymore.
Now this might be a bit surprising if you've been using a pet and now they're speaking,
But don't overthink it.
This is your imagination.
Pets can talk if you want them to.
Imagine knowing that they forgive you and how that would feel.
How does it feel to be forgiven?
Now see if you can keep that energy alive in your body and turn your attention to the harms you've done yourself.
Perhaps you've harmed yourself by excessive consumption of food,
Drink,
Lust,
Or drugs.
Perhaps you work yourself until there's nothing left to give.
Perhaps you've stayed quiet when you were dying to speak up.
Keeping yourself in mind,
And perhaps even imagining yourself as an innocent child,
With the intention of generosity and compassion,
Offer yourself the following phrases in your mind using your own name.
Tyrone,
I forgive you.
I forgive you for all the ways you've hurt me.
I know you acted out of fear,
Pain,
And confusion.
Just for today,
I forgive you.
Notice any experiences,
Responses that arise.
Simply notice them and return to the phrases.
Bethany,
I forgive you.
I forgive you for all the ways you've hurt me.
I know you've acted out of fear,
Pain,
Confusion,
And anger.
Just for today,
I forgive you.
Repeat these phrases to yourself for a few moments.
Let go of yourself for now.
Notice any changes in your state,
Sensations,
Emotions,
Thoughts.
And now I invite you to remember the ways you've harmed others,
All the ways you've been unkind,
Indifferent,
Or outright cruel.
Feel how this affects you to remember these harms.
Notice the changes in your body.
And now with the desire to be forgiven,
And with the intention to be free from suffering,
Ask the people one at a time you've harmed for their forgiveness with the following phrases.
Ender,
I'm sorry.
I know I've caused you harm with my words,
Actions,
Or thoughts.
I acted out of fear,
Pain,
And confusion.
And in this moment,
I see clearly.
I ask your forgiveness.
Please forgive me.
Stay with this person a while until another demands your attention.
And then allow the next person to come into your mind space and offer them the phrases.
Know that there is nothing,
Really,
Truly nothing that's unforgivable.
And that you,
Like all beings,
Deserve this forgiveness.
Repeat the phrases to yourself for a few moments.
I'm sorry.
I know I've caused you harm with my words,
Actions,
Or thoughts.
I acted out of fear,
Pain,
And confusion.
And in this moment,
I see clearly.
I ask your forgiveness.
Please forgive me.
Now let go of the people you've harmed for now.
Notice your experience and if it's changed.
Maybe there's a new lightness or openness.
And if not,
That's okay.
Sometimes the feelings don't arise in the moment.
We're watering the seeds of flowers we can't see yet.
But trust that they will bloom.
Now bring someone to mind who has harmed you.
Try to begin with someone who has hurt you but only in a minor way so there is no doubt that you can forgive them.
Start with the phrases using their name.
Jonathan,
I forgive you.
I forgive you for all the ways you harmed me.
I know you acted from fear,
Anger,
And confusion.
And I offer you forgiveness.
Stick with this person a while or until someone else that's in this same easy category demands your attention.
Then you can switch to them.
When you switch,
Do so gently so as not to disturb your mindfulness.
It's perfectly okay to stay with one person for this period.
Josiah,
I forgive you.
I forgive you for all the ways you harmed me.
I know you acted from fear,
Anger,
And confusion.
And I offer you forgiveness.
Now I'll invite you to bring to mind someone whom you in no way ever thought it was possible to forgive.
The person who has caused you harm that has been with you perhaps your whole life or has changed you.
And with the spirit of generosity and care,
Knowing that forgiveness is for you and not them.
And with the hope of forgiving the being,
Not their actions,
Offer the phrases to this being.
Dad,
I forgive you.
I forgive you for all the ways you harmed me.
I know you acted out of fear,
Anger,
And confusion.
And I offer you forgiveness.
Now let go of all thoughts of others and notice your body and how you feel.
Whatever's happening now is okay.
There's no problem.
You did the work.
And that's worth celebrating.
Thanks for your practice.
