Sought Through Prayer And Meditation To Become Awake

This is a talk on step 11 of the twelve steps pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. It states that we sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with god as we understood him, praying only for God's will for us and the power to carry that out". It's a great step and one that offers a lot of additional freedom when used with consistency.

Transcript

Step 11.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him.

Is how it's originally written,

But a higher power,

A higher understanding would be a little more 2024 appropriate.

So let's go with that.

This step is often one of my favourites to talk about.

Somewhat because I'm like a Meditation aficionado?

Is that the word?

Aficando?

A meditation avocado?

No,

That's not right.

Well,

Anyways,

I like to meditate.

So I like to talk about this step.

And there's like the Especially in like meditation circles,

There's like the You know,

The kind of gag that's like When people in 12 step read You know,

Like the 11th step,

They're like Sought through prayer and To improve our conscious contact Because like A lot of people in 12 step don't meditate.

Or at least not formally.

You know like A past iteration of myself would be all like Browbeating about this and uh I'm not doing that today.

So I just want to acknowledge that like Everyone's experience is their own experience,

You know Like with the 11th step and You know,

I even go to a meeting now that's like It doesn't even have those words in it anymore,

It's just like Seeking,

You know,

Consciousness or whatever Or something like this and it's like Or you know,

It says through spiritual practices We improve our conscious contact.

I was like,

Yeah,

That's cool.

And it's like easier not to get all caught up In like what meditation is or isn't,

Right?

But I as a person that meditates Obviously Really believe in the power of it And use of it and like how helpful it is Okay,

I'll back up a little bit more I just want to say too,

Like a lot of people in the 12th step Groups that were like,

You know,

When meditation is talked about They were like,

Oh yeah,

Like,

You know,

Running is meditation Or yoga is meditation or just like I've heard driving really fast down the highway With loud music on is meditation You know,

Like these things are all What we,

You know,

What we call like meditative Like they can get you out of your head Get you into a flow state You know,

Get you into the present moment And those are all like great powerful tools And very useful And I think it's still Useful and important To just distinguish that from Like formal meditation And I think there's some element of Like people,

You know,

Because they're not formally meditating They might think that they're doing it wrong So they need to like justify it or You know,

Make a defense about like,

Well,

No,

I am meditating It's just this for me And like,

Yeah,

That's like Yeah,

Please don't do that I hope you don't use this against yourself Because they're like,

Oh,

I'm not doing the right thing No,

That's You're doing the best you can right now I am doing the best I can right now It's okay If you're not doing everything perfectly If no one's told you that today It's okay that you're not doing everything perfectly So yeah,

Like Finding those experiences is great Like I used to get at kickboxing Like,

You know,

Like being in the moment Like a punch to the face can really like bring you to the moment You know,

If you're daydreaming You'll catch some feet or hands And that's your lesson So anyway,

Like the practice of You know,

Like formal meditation And there's a bunch of styles,

Right And I think there's a lot of value In all forms Very likely I haven't tried all forms But I think there's a lot of value I'm I'm personally Partial to,

You know,

Like Buddhist meditation You know,

I've kind of Adopted the notion that like through that Through that process we can like end suffering in ourselves And the idea of that being that You know,

Like pain will never be Pain will never cease Even like fully awakened You know,

Fully awakened beings still feel pain in things But the attachment is no longer there And you know,

That's That for me is like the ticket You know,

Like the Buddha did like all the different Meditation styles and there was many back then And he realized something was missing from all of them Because they didn't lead to permanent Like permanent freedom You know,

Like you can get into these deep states of meditation You know,

Like with things like transcendental meditation Where you're like free at that time But then you're like The feeling ends The experience goes away and you're just Being in this like world of suffering And so,

You know,

I think That there's something to be said about like The style that can,

You know Suggests you can get totally free And even if that's all like too much Like,

Okay,

Well,

Like I'm not here to get enlightened,

Man I'm just like trying to stay off dope or Try to stop controlling people or Try to stop obsessing and ruminating about my ex Like imagining her with like a new boyfriend And like,

You know,

All these things that are in my head Just trying to do that,

Man Just trying to like get okay Yeah,

Totally One step at a time Consider like,

You know,

Like Will this practice help me relieve some suffering You know,

Like can I suffer less That's enough And I've heard it too,

That like Don't worry about enlightenment,

Just worry about lightening up a bit And it's like,

Oh man,

That was something that has served me And,

You know,

Like speaking Like in my early recovery,

Like I was so Uptight You know,

And when I finally got that message I was like,

Oh yeah,

Lighten up a bit,

Like don't take myself so seriously So like,

Yeah,

With that You know,

Meditation can offer us a real A real deepening Of the previous steps You know,

Like sitting So with just Buddhist mindfulness practice You know,

We become mindful of our breathing Mindful of like senses Mindful of,

You know,

Feeling tones Whether there's like an unpleasant feeling in my foot Or a pleasant feeling in my chest Or neutral feeling somewhere Then we become,

You know,

Mindful of Like thought patterns Mind structures And it's like,

It's through this we can see repetitive things You know,

We can see like,

Oh,

Like Clinging keeps coming up around this Clinging keeps coming up around this Clinging keeps coming up around this And that,

That is like a real gateway To deepening our step ten You know,

Deepening our inventories Deepening our understanding of ourselves Because when we're running at full speed all the time Busy,

Busy,

Busy And there's no time to just let the mind just like Do its thing It can be really easy to miss what's really going on with us You know,

I myself like did the really busy recovery For a bunch of years And just like did everything Just was like doing,

Doing,

Doing Honestly,

I'm slipping into that a little bit right now And It's easy to like lose track of like Yeah,

Like what's really going on?

Like how do I really feel?

Like what is really bothering me?

You know,

Taking the time to sit silently It gets pretty tough to ignore these things And you know,

Like even furthermore Like doing,

Doing a retreat You know,

Say a two,

Four,

Six,

Ten day retreat You really get Acquainted with the things that are going on in your mind And like there's so many annoying ones You know,

Like people that aren't meditators Can be like,

Oh man,

That sounds so nice You're going away for ten days to retreat Yeah,

I'm going to be quiet in my head alone Sounds great,

Doesn't it?

Think about that for a while And it can be really blissful You know,

I've had experiences where I've been in,

You know,

What they call the jhana states Which are like Kind of like touching into enlightenment They're like almost like a Temporary form of enlightenment Like all the craving and suffering is no longer present Not clinging to anything,

Not aversive Just fully present in the moment Just like so aware And like senses in the body are pleasant And there's rapture and joy in the body Just from being It's very lovely And,

You know,

Of course it fades Until you get permanently awakened But that's not,

You know Like the majority of the retreat There's a lot of like dullness,

Sleepiness Irritation,

Craving,

Or wanting to move Wanting to kick someone across the hall from you Because they're talking Sorry,

Because they're snoring And Anyways,

This stuff can really Be helpful Into learning about ourself and whatever else And,

You know,

Like getting closer to a higher power You know,

Like if I'm chattering all the time Like how might I have room to hear Messages from a higher power And it's not always the case,

You know Like I was having a conversation earlier Where I was talking something out with someone And I got that,

I got a message,

You know But I was also I had also asked for one And was open to receiving it And it came in At an unexpected moment And the thing,

You know Like there's so much,

Like,

Can be so much Pressure around meditation of like,

Oh,

Like I need to do this much Or that much,

Or here and there,

Or whatever,

Like I need to do You know,

A lot of people are like,

Yeah,

You need like 40 minutes There's a great saying that's like You should meditate 20 minutes a day Unless you're too busy,

In which case you should do 40 Which is like But it's like it's true because If you really think you can't find 20 minutes You're way too busy You know But the truth is,

Is if it's like too much Start with a singular minute And that can seem like Kind of like goofy almost But it's a start And it's achievable,

Like most people aren't daunted By a minute of anything You know,

Like I could stand on nails for a minute I mean,

It would be a waste of time Because you should stand there longer to get the benefits But I digress I was training my ex-girlfriend She was going hiking I can't remember where she was going And I made a suggestion Like yeah,

To just start training Like just do one minute of bike riding every day And then do one more minute the next day And add a minute every day And it seemed so absurd to her at the time She's like,

Oh,

That's not going to do anything Well,

It's going to get you to the point where it's training actually But like it's that mental block And the same with meditation Like set the clock for 30 seconds,

5 seconds Like whatever feels like absurdly Not at all Threatening,

Start with that You know Because If you did that minute a day thing In 30 days you'd be meditating 30 minutes Which is pretty great And so of course the component that In Buddhist circles isn't often talked about as much But like the prayer aspect Is um The prayer step is often considered like Praying is speaking to higher power And meditation is listening And you know,

That's a great framework And um I think they kind of like all become one at a point You know,

Like they're just kind of like the same thing But um It's like communion It's just like communion Yeah,

Like the praying thing And like it can be such a powerful practice And at times really deeply Like I would just like stop and just like start talking To my higher power You know,

Just like using it as like a sounding board Or like a Yeah,

Just like a sounding board And just like getting my thoughts out And you know like there's kind of a Yeah,

There's um There's a lot of beauty and value in it And even just like you know,

It can just be seen as intention setting Like if you don't resonate with like a Like a higher power that you can like That can like hear you that's like somewhere Or whatever like this It's still like an act of intention setting You know,

Like if I'm praying like may I have the serenity To accept the things I can't change That's like a,

And like I have a sincere wish That's enough It's for sure enough Because like wherever the change comes from It comes from somewhere And if I'm asking,

Like if I'm tuning into that somewhere That's enough You know what I mean?

Like I think the faith and belief Is an important piece as well It's actually like saying the prayer Trusting that it will be received And then waiting for like whatever outcome You know like But it can just really like deepen the act of surrender And you know that's what we're talking about here,

Right?

Like Improving our conscious contact With our power And so like you know Yeah,

That looks like you know like deepening of surrender Like returning to that surrender Like you know we talked about the third step We made a decision to turn our will and our life over To the care of And you know like we talked about how That's not often a one time shot deal You know like Often times I'll make that decision Start walking it out And then decide like actually you know I'm cool With this driving thing I'm cool with like controlling the world And then take it back and whatever But like so like yeah through this prayer process This constant state of prayer I can be in like a constant surrender And that deep reminding myself Of Connection to my higher power My intention to Live according to that higher power's will for me You know like whatever that is and however that looks You know like those words can be A little bit dicey you know like higher power's will For me right Like a being that's like I have this plan for you And it's gonna go this way And I find that can be really comforting for some people And really great and just not for others right And for others it can seem kind of imposing And prohibitive So you know just like take that with a grain of salt That wording and stuff but like You know like I just use it as like tuning into the possibility Of divinity Tuning into the possibilities of life And like when I pray That's what I'm actively seeking to do is tune into What's possible And staying connected to the fact that What I think and what I believe And what I feel Isn't all there is There's so much in life that I'm just Oblivious to There's so much in myself that I'm just almost clueless to still After having done you know like a lot of recovery work I still find parts of me that I'm Sometimes afraid of You know like there's parts of me that have some really intense emotions Like you know there's parts of me That just have these really intense emotions That like Part of me is just like afraid of Tune into the shame,

Tune into the disappointment And like through these practices I can create a little space To remember that like oh like there's more beyond this Even though I may have like felt this way Like most of my life There's still a possibility for something different Still a possibility for more freedom Than I already have There's a possibility for me to become Receptive rather than just dominating And driven And doing recovery I can start like listening Receiving recovery,

Receiving love Receiving understanding,

Receiving peace Connection Thought I'd have a lot more to say about this step Since this is my favorite one But it's I guess pretty simple in the end It's praying and meditating It's deepening my consciousness Deepening my connection to my higher power And like I've never heard of like I don't think I'll ever hear Anyone ever say like yeah I've got too much connection With my higher power I've been doing too much praying and meditating I'm just too close to God This is just too much I've had enough,

I'm backing off My life is going too well,

I'm too at peace And I can't take this anymore You know I've never heard that And that's That's not to say that you should go out there and just like Do just like more,

More,

More That's not my message But it's just one of those things that it's just like yeah I've never heard That people aren't more satisfied when they dedicate More time to getting closer to higher power So I'm going to use This as inspiration myself today And I hope you do the same