Conscious Aging II: Grieving In A Culture Of Youth

In this short presentation, we reflect upon the sense of grief we may feel in a culture dominated by youth. By naming and assessing the feeling, we can better recognize its power and come to recognize the value of our position and find pleasure in knowing what we’ve gained. Music by Harumachi Music; Image by Taoyuetong; both from Pixabay

Transcript

As we age, We may come to the realization, Gradually, That we are no longer among the tribe of the young. It happens slowly, A gentle slipping away, But soon we feel the distance, The separation. The youth are there, Busy making their plans, Fighting happily over who gets to do what and with whom, Reveling in the rewards or losses, All crowded around a coffee shop table or bar. We can join them physically, But we'll soon realize we have little to offer, That they do not see us as one of them, Not really. We've become, In their world, Irrelevant. Isn't there a kind of grieving that comes from that awareness? After all, We spent the better part of our lives, The main part even, Being and performing young. We fought for jobs and careers, Climbed that impossible mountain of raising a family, Navigated the often tumultuous seas of relationships. All that, The business of life, We see now, Is the business of the young. But here, On more tranquil seas, We can look back, Both with fondness and with sadness, At the world of the young that carries on at its breakneck speed, Even faster than we remember, With so much at stake each day, That it's hard to fathom. At the signs of the power of youth, We see everywhere, The stylist shop with the models and their silky hair, The music videos playing at the gym with rebel youth leaping in impossible ways, The billboards with the smartwatch ads parading laconic youth in airbrushed black and white. We are not there anymore. We are not present. Instead, We have our own subculture, Television shows and movies starring aging actors about the struggles and joys of starting over at our later age, Of carrying on a young person's world, Or some hijinks of the quirky grandma who goes on a road trip. But the power remains with the young. And yet, In whatever grief we may experience at our fading for the popular view of life, There comes as well a release and a softening. Who among us would really want to be twenty again and to know as little as we did then? So grieving in the culture of youth is also a reminder of the sweetness of experience, The comfort of knowing who we are and what we have. A kind of memento mori is each image in celebration of youth. We can breathe more easily now and accept the loss from a position of something much greater gained.