Keep Asking Why

If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of "finding your purpose," try this instead. We'll pick a mundane activity — brushing your teeth, folding laundry, anything — and use the word "why" to dig down through the layers. The science suggests purpose doesn't have to be grand. It's already woven into the ordinary moments of your life. Recorded live with the Healthy Minds Program.

Transcript

This week's theme is purpose. And I know that feeling that some of you probably have when you hear that, That sense of purpose. It feels like a big, Heady topic. It feels a little intimidating. And often we feel a little bit of guilt, This sense of, Oh, I don't know if I have a purpose, Or I don't know if I've found my purpose. Especially in the midst of a situation like this, I don't know if purpose is even relevant. What we're going to sort of explore here is not some esoteric grandiose big sense of purpose that's somewhere out there that we need to find and we need to find our passion and then everything will fall into place. Some of that self-help-y stuff can be really inspiring if you're in a good place, But it can also be really paralyzing if you're in a tough place. The science on purpose's role in well-being is actually really interesting. So unlike some of the other pillars of well-being that we've been discussing, Awareness, Connection, And insight, A lot of the science around purpose is not about purpose-related practices, But more about those who live with a sense of purpose, Those who live with purpose. A calling or a sense of direction, And that those people tend to have higher well-being. That's really interesting, Especially when you consider that in those studies, The sense of purpose that people report having isn't always a belief in a higher power or some grandiose career mission. Often, Those people show the same elevated sense of well-being when their purpose is to take care of their family or to stay healthy or some of these sort of more mundane everyday aspects of life. And that's what we're going to explore in today's practice. We're going to use the power of human curiosity explore purpose directly as it is already in your life and not trying to sort of pursue it somewhere else. So when you're ready find yourself a comfortable position seated upright but relaxed. I tend to like to sort of stretch upward and then drop my shoulders release my jaw. Settle into the gravity that's pulling us. Set into the chair, Into the cushion, Wherever you might be sitting. If you're not able to sit upright, Feel free to lie down, But try to stay awake, So not to be too comfortable that you might end up drowsy. And before we dive in, Let's just take a moment. To do nothing at all and just really take a break, Take this moment to slow down. And let go. And just arrive fully. Here for this practice together. Just letting it all settle. If it's morning where you are. Than letting the events of the morning settle. Letting all the thoughts about what's coming up for the day settle. If you're watching a recording of this later, Or if where you are, It's not morning, Just whatever was preceding this session. Just take this time to let that all settle to the bottom of your snow globe. So that you can get some clarity before we dive in. It helps you can take deep breaths if that's something that relaxes you. And just letting that river of thoughts flow by, Whether it's a calm, Still stream, Or whether it's a crashing river. Just let it flow by. Watch it come, Watch it go. Whatever's here is okay. Feel free to close your eyes if you haven't already and if that's something that feels comfortable to you. And if you notice any tension in the body. Any particular emotions welling up holding in your shoulders or in your belly or anywhere else. Just let it be as it is and maybe gently try to release, Bring your awareness to that sensation and just let it go. Just really taking this moment to settle in. No need to rush anywhere. Whenever you're ready. I'm gonna ask you first to bring to mind. A situation or an activity that's a regular part of your life, Kind of like a mundane activity. Could be a chore, Or folding the laundry, Or cooking, Or brushing your teeth, Or changing diapers, Or whatever it might be. Just bring something to mind that you generally kind of try to rush through, But you have to do it. It's a regular part of your life. And something that feels maybe ripe for investigation. So I'll give you a few moments to think of something. Is something that's part of your routine. Not something maybe you've thought too much about. But it is something you spend a lot of time doing or you do very often or very frequently as a part of your daily life. And if you're still looking for something, Go ahead and keep looking. But whenever you've found one. What we're gonna do is we're gonna. Ask the question, Why? About this activity. Several times. So let's say your activity is brushing your teeth. So the first question you'll ask yourself, This is kind of an analytical meditation. So the first question, Well, Why do I brush my teeth? You don't have to think too hard, Just notice what answer comes up when you ask that question to yourself. Why do I brush my teeth? So do the same for your activities. Why do you do that activity? Whenever you notice a clear answer come up, Don't accept that answer at face value, Ask why again. So if I brush my teeth because I want to keep my teeth clean. The next question would be, Why do I want to keep my teeth clean? You keep going like this until you've got at least, You know, Three, Maybe five, Maybe even seven layers deep. On this simple mundane activity. I'll give you some time to do that. Start with your activity, Ask why, And whatever answer naturally seems to come up. Ask why again. And whatever answer comes up, Ask why again. And see where it takes you. This is just kind of a playful experimentation. You don't need to take it too seriously. Let's just see where it goes. Sometimes the answers might readily and immediately appear. Sometimes it might take some time, Which is totally okay. Keep asking the question and give your mind a minute to come up with an answer. Don't need to force it. Just keep asking that question, Why? The sense of open curiosity. See what comes up. It's not uncommon for this to get pretty deep pretty quickly. So for example, In my brushing teeth example. Well, Why do I brush my teeth? Because I want to keep my teeth clean. Well, Why do I want to keep my teeth clean? Because I want to be healthy. And why do I want to be healthy? Because I wanna be here to take care of my family. And because I'm grateful to be alive. The underlying motivation or purpose. Underneath a mundane activity that I do every single day like brush my teeth. Can be quite deep. So something like that may or may not be coming up for you. That's perfectly okay. But I'll give you a few more moments here to just keep asking why. And really exploring the territory. And if it feels like you've already gotten to the deepest point, Just sort of bask in that and really explore. That causality, That deeper motivation and how it relates to. The mundane activity you're working with. And whenever you're ready. Transition to just imagining what it would be like to bring that deeper motivation fully present to mind. When you're actually doing that mundane activity. So what would it be like for me, For example, To really bring that deeper motivation to take care of my family and that gratitude to be alive? To mind every time I brush my teeth. That sense of purpose. What would it be like to wear that sense of purpose on my sleeve as I brush my teeth to have it be present there? How would that change the way the activity feels? How might it change the way I approach that activity or how I do it? I might do it exactly the same but feel differently. Or I might actually slow down and take my time brushing my teeth. I might bring a different sense of care to that activity. So see if you can explore how your activity might feel different or how you might approach it differently if you brought that deeper motivation to mind every time you did it. It's okay if this feels forced or awkward. We're just exploring, Especially if you're new to this kind of analytical meditation. Just give it a try, See what comes up. If you're getting really good momentum here, Feel free to continue on with this particular activity. If you're ready. You can let go of that. And switch to a new activity. So you might want to choose a different mundane activity, A different part of your life. And I encourage you to mix it up. So if you chose something related to your personal life, Like folding the laundry, Maybe this time try something from your professional life, Like maybe you analyze data or there's some aspect of your job. That you can explore or maybe something related to a hobby or a craft like playing music or painting or anything like that. So pick a new activity to explore. I'll give you some time to do that now. Keep looking if you don't have one yet. Whenever you're ready, You know the drill. Why? Ask why. Why do you do that activity? And whatever answer comes up. Give it a second to breathe, And then ask why about that answer. Keep asking why as you ride the turtles all the way down. To the deeper motivations behind this activity that is a part of your life. You find it hard to stay connected with this activity or stay focused on it, That's perfectly normal. I find it can be helpful to visualize the activity as you do this. Gives your mind something to chew on. So, You know. Visualize myself brushing my teeth as I ask why. Why do I do this? Go down the layers of Y. And why being the word that embodies human curiosity. It sort of behooves you to bring a deep sense of curiosity to this, That this isn't a serious ordeal, This isn't a. . . Life or death situation. We're just exploring and experimenting with a sense of openness. Just to see what comes up when we run this little experiment on our own minds. Keep asking why. And at your own pace whenever you feel like you've gotten to a sufficient level of depth. Transition to start imagining what it would be like to do this activity with that deeper sense of motivation present. How would that change the way you do the activity? How would you change the way it feels to do that activity? How might it change the way you interact with other people if other people are involved in that activity? So really taking what you've learned from this Keep Asking Why exercise and applying it to the activity itself and seeing how that might reframe things for you. OK. Whenever you're ready, Drop in the reflection and let's just take a moment to settle into the breathing or body sensations or whatever's comfortable for you. Or find a little rest. I know that kind of meditation can be hard work sometimes. So just taking a little rest before we move on. So feel free to take a breath or stretch or whatever your body needs.