Hannah Gray protagonist Captain pizza Peace is within oneself to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering.
It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop,
Nor is it given by a teacher.
Where you experience suffering,
You can also find freedom from suffering.
Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it.
Allow your mind to settle in its own pace in the here and now.
Listening,
Feeling,
Just knowing.
This exercise will be about staying with difficult emotions.
If no such emotion is present in you now,
You may,
For the sake of the exercise,
Attend to some troubling aspect of your life.
If your life feels all perfect,
You may attend to the fact that at some point you will eventually lose it all.
Just allowing whatever emotion is here in a moment.
Just feeling.
Opening up.
Just knowing.
Sometimes people get this idea that staying with the difficult is an exercise in toughening up,
Gritting one's teeth,
Meeting the pain with a cold or unaffected mind.
Mostly,
However,
That's not what is needed.
In certain,
What is needed is something more like meeting ourselves with an eternal hug,
An embrace of unconditional care and respect.
Feeling inside.
Feeling from the place of hurt.
Acknowledging that being human is like this.
Sometimes it's hard and painful.
Not dismissing it,
But allowing it,
Meeting it with care and compassion.
If you feel overwhelmed by fear,
Or if you find yourself feeling numb or beside yourself,
Then notice the touch of your feet on the ground or your buttocks on the seat.
Staying with that,
Slowing the breath.
Allowing the lungs to properly fill and empty out.
Noticing the space between the out-breath and the in-breath.
You may also find that it helps to rub your hands together or place them on your heart.
Allow the opening of your heart to the emotional pain to happen in a pace you are comfortable with.
Try not to force yourself.
Little by little,
Sensitive to your capacity right now.
Some days we can deal with a lot.
Some days we can't take much,
And that is okay.
The suffering is like this.
No wonder it feels hard.
No wonder the mind resists.
Breathing in,
Knowing the hurt.
Breathing out,
Knowing the resistance.
Breathing in,
Knowing the resistance.
Breathing in,
Aware of that which knows the hurt.
Breathing out,
Aware of that which knows the resistance.
Breathing in,
Knowing the resistance.
Breathing out,
Knowing the resistance.
Breathing in,
Knowing the resistance.
I know,
At least from my own experience,
And it might not be the same for you,
That it's easy to get too absorbed with thinking.
Even when trying to feel,
We might try to do that through the thinking mind.
But reality is so much more than our thinking.
Our thoughts can never fully capture its entirety,
Its complexity,
Nor its simplicity.
Therefore,
In meditation we practice dropping whatever story we are telling us.
We try to open up to the more complete experience of here,
Now,
Of this.
When emotions are operating,
A commonly ignored aspect of experience is the bodily experience.
Because that's where we experience the pain and consequently try,
Consciously and unconsciously,
To get away from.
No wonder we do that.
But being someone trying to run away from suffering is like being a dog trying to run away from its tail.
We might think we've succeeded at times,
Only to find that the tail is still attached.
That discontent shows up in us again.
So see if you can allow yourself to abide in the place between these two things.
Between clinging onto the story you tell yourself and trying to slip away from your present experience.
Just be.
What is the felt sense of this difficult emotion in the body?
Is it hot?
Cold?
Squeezed?
Scattered?
Fuzzy?
Encouraging an inviting attitude to whatever shows up.
If you are noticing resistance,
Allowing that to.
We are not trying to make the difficult emotion go away,
But to get familiar with it.
Spirituality does not require that you work hard toward achieving a result in the future,
As much as it requires you to be fully present,
Sincere and committed now,
With absolute honesty and willingness to uncover and let go of any illusions that come between you and the realisation of reality.
Sometimes when stopping like this,
And taking the time to orient ourselves,
The path forward becomes clearer.
That can come in many forms,
Such as,
I can do this,
I can actually live with this,
Or,
Hey,
It's actually not my fault,
Or,
This is too much for me to handle,
I do need help with this,
Or,
It can't be any other way than what it is.
Sometimes these sorts of small realisations happen and they feel right.
When we focus on and identify with the thoughts about how long this will last and so on,
It becomes unbearable to stay with emotional pain.
So,
Noticing thoughts that say,
I can't take this any longer.
We're just noticing that thought as a thought.
Staying with just now as the knowing awareness,
It is easier to bear.
Noticing any tendency of closing off,
Either to the pain itself,
Or to the emotional need connected with it.
Allowing the opening of both the vulnerable and the caring heart.
So,
Just breathing this one breath,
Just taking this one step.
The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment.
That's all there ever is.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
