Letting Go And Starting Anew With Forgiveness & Self-nurture

Randi Green and I explore the origin of forgiving, its meaning (and purpose), and how it can be turned into the art of letting go. What is the energetic significance of the art of letting go in relationships and in the building of the joint field of energy that all relationships (friends and partners) are built upon?
We express ideas and impressions to begin the inner work of letting go including self-nurturing and reparenting to heal and restore old emotional patterns

Transcript

Hi there,

Randi Green here and welcome to another podcast where Justy Pold and I are going to discuss some important topics and this time to continue a little bit from our previous podcast of Beyond Gender or Being Human and Being Human Beyond Gender,

We talked about forgiveness and self-nurturing.

And as promised,

We're going to have a little bit of talk about what is forgiveness.

Most people know what forgiveness is.

We know it from religious context and we also know it within the psychotherapeutic context within different,

What should we call it,

Branches and niches of how to do psychotherapy all depending on how the psychotherapist prefer to work and how people conceive.

That means the client or the patient,

It's not patient,

The client and the practitioner of psychotherapy decides or feel this is the right method or approach to let go of what we call old energy patterns once we have worked our way through them.

Is it then the right way to go around this?

Is forgiveness then the tool that should be played in or is forgiveness more related to what we could say a religious context?

And these are some of the basic ideas about forgiveness,

The two branches that we can work with,

But there are also more to it as in self-forgiveness,

Forgiveness of others,

Forgiveness of society,

Forgiving society for whatever it has done to us,

Forgiving,

It could be many different levels.

So Josh,

What are your ideas on this one?

And also asking for forgiveness from others for what we've done or I've done.

This is a really important topic.

Forgiveness has been a huge thing on my journey.

I think we ought to start maybe with the etymology of it.

I just learned this recently.

It has to do with the context of debt forgiveness,

Forgiving debt.

And that just says a lot about our society in general where a religious term is tied into debt and money and monetary systems.

I don't know the whole thing around this.

I think another show co-host told me about this,

So I haven't memorized exactly how that plays out,

But I think that's an interesting place to start.

Perhaps forgiveness in terms of debt more goes into what we could call the original sin that goes with the ancient version of Christianity as it were in its Jewish form as part of the Hebrew Bible or the Hebrew Torah,

Their sacred text,

As in the original sin is,

It ties into many different levels.

In a way we could say,

Who was the first one to actually create a scenario where God was discontent?

And that was Cain.

Cain was the first one.

There were these two brothers.

It didn't take long.

No,

It didn't take long.

And Cain slaughtered his brother Abel or Habal as it's said in Hebrew.

And there we kind of have the first situation where Yahweh Elohim,

The creator God,

Was in trouble with his first creation.

Let's just put it that way.

Because Cain and Abel were born by Adam and Eve and as she says,

Cain is technically,

When we talk about the understanding of in the Hebrew language,

Technically means that she had begotten this son with the help of God.

So that's technically what his name means.

More or less paraphrasing here and there are more nuances to it,

But if we go with the root of the word,

That's technically how it's often translated into.

Because apparently she couldn't get,

Even though she was cursed,

I call it the curse of Eve as well as the curse of Adam,

Where Adam has to,

Because of the aid of the fruit of the tree of knowledge in Eden or the Garden of Eden,

She was cursed with,

And I call it a curse because she was punished with,

What we could say,

The ability to give childbirth or to give birth in labor.

And the male was to also have labor,

But with his back bent and his head looking to the ground while he was sweating in agony,

Working with the soil.

So another way,

Instead of being prosperous in the Garden of Eden,

Then they became,

What we could call,

Cursed into working with the soil as well as the female giving birth from her womb or her body itself.

And the first two children she got was,

I think there was Set and Cain and Abel and these kind of things.

I can't,

This is something I did not go further into.

But the understanding of Cain that slaughtered his brother,

Where you can say,

Aside from Adam and Eve,

That that's the original sin.

They went against the law of God.

They went against what they had been told that they were not allowed to eat of the tree,

Both of the tree of life as well as the tree of knowledge.

And they did even,

They did that no matter what.

Sorry about that.

My mind is going a thousand places right now.

So that's why I'm a little bit inconcise here.

And I'm also questioning myself,

Is that the correct information or am I remembering the text wrong?

So that's why I'm jamming a little bit here.

Well,

Some thoughts I had on this for quite a while.

Don't really want to get open a can of worms,

But since it seems relevant now,

Cain then went on to be banished,

Right?

And it said he went to these towns,

But if Adam and Eve were the first individuals,

Then with Cain and Abel,

Where did they go to?

Where did these cities come from?

I thought they were the only humans on earth.

The wordplay around Cain is interesting.

Cocaine,

Sugar cane.

There's a Cain's chicken outlet in the United States.

So it's Cain from Kung Fu.

We're able to do something.

This is like the positive version in Cain.

So interesting interplay.

Now the whole original sin,

Once I started waking up,

This really didn't sit well with me when I started really looking into it.

And I'm going to mainly just put this on a shelf,

Continue,

Other than just to say the psychological baggage that comes with original sin is just off the charts for me.

Essentially proven guilty,

Assumed guilty until proven innocent here.

What kind of burden does that lay on us?

Where some of the Eastern religions say,

It doesn't fall into one way or the other.

There's no original purity or defilement.

It's based on one's actions.

So by one's actions is how it's perceived,

Whether,

And then I like the term,

Is it helpful?

Am I acting wisely and skillfully instead of I'm damned from the very beginning?

What a trip to lay on somebody.

Then people can be kind of more under control because if they're taught and believe that there's something wrong with them from the get go,

That's not to say that they're a perfect angel either,

But to lay that burden on someone to begin with,

It's quite a trip.

It's actually a good angle because a lot of thoughts come in when you play that angle in here.

First level of thought,

I'm still a bit stuck in the Cain story,

Which I need to complete.

But I'm also thinking about,

We also have Luther,

The one that also worked with the original sin and being born in sin.

And how do we then redeem ourselves?

Because redemption is tied to the original sin.

Grace of God with Luther though.

Yes,

But let's not go into Luther.

Just say he gave it another twist.

So it depends on if you're a Lutheran or you are from Catholic orientation.

So just so people can look that up,

Say that's difference that should be known that there's a different understanding of the original sin.

But if we go back to the earliest Christianity and the understanding of redemption,

Which actually means to be bought loose,

That goes into debt.

So I'm not saying it's necessary.

It is a debt,

But it's not a debt to money,

Because money as such,

Yes,

There were means of trade,

But the debt is the debt to the Lord of being born,

But also the original sin of having transgressed against the original version of knowledge,

The law of the God and what we were given to be prosperous,

As well as being alive and being in this.

Wow,

Is it with the buying loose?

It goes with being the same Paul,

Same Paul plays upon the idea of being enslaved in Christ instead of being enslaved into society.

So that's the way he plays with that upon the redemption,

The Greek word of it,

Which I can't remember,

But it goes into that is that instead of being slave of society,

We then become slaves within Christ.

And that's our redemption.

That's where we are bought loose.

And the way that we get rid of the original sin is by our religious actions in prayer,

In meditation or whatever meditation,

Prayer,

We could say,

They could loosely be aligned,

Say they're more or less the same,

Aside the meditation is a practice within a different type of thought system,

Whereas prayer is within a religious belief system.

So there are nuances there that are different.

But the idea is that we get forgiveness from God,

From the original sin,

When we are practicing the law of God in the right manner,

And then we can be bought loose from the original sin through redemption.

This is a really interesting context here.

But to me,

At the end of the day,

It still boils down to slavery.

You're enslaved?

No,

I want to be freed.

I want to be liberated from slavery.

It doesn't matter who I'm enslaved under.

Usually it's our own minds,

Right?

From the lack of our own mind training.

So when one trains the mind,

That's what's different about most of the religions are clear and they're very helpful.

I don't want to be against them per se,

Out of the box,

Making sweeping statements,

Because they do teach people ethics and morality for their own good.

Knowing good and bad or whatever,

Or things that can help society and be of benefit and things that won't,

Right?

The missing thing is the mind training.

So yes,

And then Luther was instrumental in seeing through the indulgences,

I guess,

Of the Catholic Church,

Basically buying your way into heaven.

So that's another money thing.

Look at on the American dollar bill,

In God we trust.

Why is that on money?

Yes,

It's definitely been tied into the Catholic Church.

Absolutely no doubt about that.

The Vatican Bank is one of the most,

The hugest financial institutions on the face of the earth too,

Or was at one time.

And then I try to crawl back into the whole,

Okay,

Let's talk about it without the money here.

But where I want to go in also when we talk about the forgiveness is in the Catholic Church,

You go to what do you call it?

Confession.

Thank you.

And there you sit there and then the priest says,

And I'm sorry,

Guys,

I'm going to be a little bit harsh here,

But just you do five Eva Maria's and then God will forgive you,

Right?

It's the priest that ordains the forgiveness.

If people follow the rites and if they do the prayer and they do the insight,

The contemplation on what they have done wrong.

And where did that one come from?

That's where I want to twist it back to Cain first,

Because when Cain had killed his brother,

The Lord,

As it said in the Bible,

Comes in and looks at Cain and say,

Why did you do that?

Why did you follow the traits of sin?

And here is not mentioned as sin,

But it's actually doing wrong as it were coiled up in front of your door as a snake.

So here again,

We have the whole snake,

Which in my,

When I've been doing clearing work as well as in healing work,

I see a lot of these,

What I call ill-mindedness of third cycle energies that are from a previous cycle where the ones that existed there were enormously selfish as well as we saw the fall of Atlantis.

And these dark code systems actually look like a snake.

So that's the interesting,

And it can produce,

If it has enough energy,

Can actually produce a dark snake.

So that's very interesting when we talk about,

Well,

If we are here talking about third cycle energies that comes in and makes people ill-minded,

It leads them into the deception of it's okay to do this.

I'm okay,

It's fine.

I can just do whatever I want to do.

Righteousness in the bad sense of the word.

And this goes into your teachings on the seven D's too.

Yeah,

The negative seven D's.

The negative seven D's.

Which are a cute technology that runs the dark code sequences and make people go into certain,

But this is not just,

Then if we say that that alludes to that,

Then it's all the depression and denial and these kinds of things.

I'm not necessarily saying that depression is a kind of a sin,

But these are just the negative energy units and the code systems that gives that effect in our mind.

But if we go back to forgiveness,

Now I'm really going to play hardball here,

Because if we are saying that when we are under the influence of the third cycle negative dark energy,

That leads to dark coding of our energy system,

And by that,

Do service to self,

Or to go into some,

In whatever form,

That where we do things,

We know that's wrong,

But we do it anyways,

Because we're not really in control of ourselves.

Is it then the right approach to ask for forgiveness?

You know,

It's a very key question,

Seminal question,

And I don't even know the exact meaning of that word.

So right,

So the authenticity is huge here,

Right?

It can't be lip service.

It can't be a thing to get out of jail free card.

There needs to be a commitment for change in ethical things around it,

Right?

We see this in partnerships all the time.

I'm sorry,

You know,

Please forgive me.

In one sense,

The words can be very helpful,

And we'll get into this.

In another sense,

It could just be like routine parody,

Right?

Where it means nothing anymore.

So what is the energetic effect behind this?

You know,

What kind of commitment to change and resolve is being made to not happen again?

The easiest way for me to look at this is forgiveness is great.

Well,

There's a few things,

But at the end of the day,

Forgiveness has to come from the heart.

It has to be authentic,

And it can't be forced.

It has to be the right time.

The biggest thing,

Though,

Is it does not excuse the harm done.

Yeah,

The energetic residual of it.

If we go into this,

If I'm in front,

It's unfortunately mainly males that have this temporary takeover by some of the dark coding that I often refer to as a snake.

If we're doing statistic wise,

Yeah.

That comes in and look at you and literally makes the male go into a slight type of trance and makes him say things he actually doesn't want to say,

But he does it anyway.

And then afterwards say,

Please forgive me.

And then in that situation,

I would say,

Technically,

There's nothing to forgive.

But we got another problem here,

Bro.

And that problem is that you have responded positively to a dark coding like Cain did.

And God kind of says,

Or the Elohim there says,

Well,

You responded to it,

You let it in,

You opened the door to the snake.

You open similar as Adam and Eve,

They let the snake convince them that it was okay to do or to go against the law.

So if we say that the snake is not an actual snake,

But actually it's a code that goes both service to self and ill-mindedness,

Then the challenge will be in this when we talk about,

Okay,

I've done something I knew was wrong.

We have got the old version of the demon and the angel on the soldiers,

Right?

And people,

They know it's wrong.

So why do they do it?

And if they then afterwards say,

Oh,

I know it was wrong,

Please forgive me.

Then I am not so eager to do the energetic letting go,

Because that's also where you can look at forgiveness as a letting go of the incident,

Because it's much deeper than that.

It's a personality trait to do things we know are wrong.

And then we try to worm our way out of it,

To use that pun intended,

Worm our way out of it,

Instead of looking at why do I actually do things I know that's wrong?

Why do I fall back into that mental trap where I give myself the allowance to actually have actions and behavior that I know deep down,

That especially if we have a heart feel that kicks in or we have the slightest amount of compassion or the slightest feeling of loving kindness,

We know already when we do it,

Why not snap out of the trance?

Why not look into,

Let me stop this right away and not continue here.

Let me close my mouth and sit in contemplation and find that snake,

Find that code and do that clearing work.

Because in that moment,

That whatever pops up shows us,

Hey,

You've got something you need to clear,

You've got a code here that's dysfunctional.

It links up to one of the dark cubes that makes you believe and give you thought forms that allows you to do what you know is wrong.

Yeah.

And the keyword here is trance.

So when we're in trance,

We don't know we're in a trance because we're in a trance.

It's not until we wake up out of the trance do we realize kind of what's done.

Now this doesn't excuse behavior for that.

We have to take self-responsibility because nobody else can tell us what to do.

There has to be a drive,

An accountability,

And one needs to see the benefit of this for themselves.

So only when we can wake up out of that trance is it possible.

So with this,

Setting aside the war against men and women and the pointing in the blame like in the Bible,

Oh,

Well,

Eve made him do it,

Right?

That kind of BS.

Set that aside for now.

Yeah.

And Adam was too weak to say no.

There we go.

So you see how this pits men and women against each other all the time?

So what is the feminine's role in this when they see their partner or the masculine?

I'm thinking of a cartoon now where they have these swirls in their eyes and they're completely in this hypnotic trance and these things take over,

Right?

So what is the feminine role to support here of this?

To say,

Hey,

Wake up,

Don't you see what you're doing?

And in a way that doesn't inflame it even more,

Right?

But at the same time,

Is it like an emotional doormat just to let it run rampant?

And that depends on how awake the female is because females,

As men have,

We have as part of our fetal pattern,

We have some of the gene codes from our dads and how our relationship has been with our dads.

So that plays in when these things happen and when these things replay as an emotional pattern.

So if the female has worked through her own issues with her own dad or whatever that relation was,

Even if it's loving and caring,

There are,

Oh,

That's,

You know,

Josh,

That's a difficult,

That's actually a humongously difficult,

Easy-peasy fix.

She needs to do that because not only do we have the relationship with our father,

We have the code systems of our father and some of his dark coding that's in our field as well.

And it goes also ties into what we call generations of suppression of females,

But also men have also been suppressed because you are under,

When I call it the curse of Adam,

You are under this whole work ethics,

Quote unquote ethics.

You are under the spell of work,

Work,

Work,

Earn money,

Earn money,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Frustration,

Not feeling good enough,

Not feeling,

Living up to the requirements of society,

Not being good enough dad,

Not being good enough father,

Not getting under,

Not getting respect for what we're doing either.

So that also produces some kind of negative,

That's part of the curse of Adam that with the back bent to energetically understand,

To look to the ground,

Be oriented towards matter and materialism in a materialistic thought forms and production,

Instead of looking up to the sky and begin what Abel Technica was supposed to do,

Because Abel,

When we go into the root of that name means to contain,

It means the emptiness.

So that was probably,

If we go with the full idea of that Cain was the materialistic one and Abel was the one that was the spiritual one,

Then you can see how materialism actually killed Abel.

So we perhaps were not actually talking about physical beings,

Perhaps we're talking about dynamics here,

That the dynamics that are focused towards materialism has a tendency to be attacked by the third cycle,

Very old spatial type of energies,

Whereas Abel that was perhaps fourth cycle,

Just to put my ideas into it,

The spirituality going with the heart field,

Well he was easily killed off,

Right?

Because materialism is stalker because it gets easier,

Infected by the third cycle energies of the snake configuration.

Well in some sense,

However,

If there is rebirth,

Then it doesn't matter because it'll come back and the things that still need to be worked on will be repeated then.

Another key thing I find around this is it doesn't seem as helpful to assign blame to anyone or anything.

However,

Taking responsibility for this,

Seeing the importance of it has to be there,

Right?

Doesn't matter whose fault it is as much as doing our own part of that to make a difference around this.

Now,

The energetic effect of this is quite for forgiveness.

When it comes to the actual practice of this,

I think it's,

And I did a talk and I'll more than likely link this in the show notes about this already.

When I talk to people,

Even spiritual practitioners,

A lot of them are very reluctant to even consider forgiveness.

There are some things that have been done to people that are unforgivable,

They say.

This starts with allowing non-forgiveness,

Saying,

I might not be able to forgive that person for the rest of my life and being okay with that too.

At the same time,

Considering the benefit of this and it's not for the other person so much,

It is an unnecessary burden,

At least at some part.

Now,

There has to be a long time sometimes before it gets there and it seems to happen on its own when it's ready to happen,

Like I said earlier.

This is a burden that I'm carrying around that I don't need to because I hold a grudge for someone for what they did 20,

30 years ago.

It's not harming them anymore.

They could care less.

I'm carrying this around on my shoulders when I don't need to.

It's like,

Why would I carry this extra weight when I don't need to?

At the same time,

I can't force this.

I can't make this be authentic when it's not.

It has to be the right time and be sincere.

I need to put something in here because first and foremost,

It might sound as if I'm kind of thumbs up with forgiveness.

I'm not.

Clear cut,

I'm not,

Because first and foremost for me,

It's a religious term.

So it needs to be let go of the incident.

Let it go because we know humans do stupid stuff.

We know we mess up sometimes.

We know,

Yeah,

I fucked this one up.

So for me,

It's quite simple in the situation where we have a situation where one,

We care about do something that we kind of,

They know it's stupid.

We know it's stupid.

And I don't,

I don't care what you call it,

A grudge.

I don't carry around the negativity about it because in that situation,

What good would come of that?

If the other person that's in that incident said,

I'm sorry,

I fucked up.

That was so fucking stupid of me.

I'm good,

Fine.

Because then we have what's called self adjusting.

Then the other one takes responsibility for his or her action saying,

Oh yeah,

I was not really observant there or I was mindlessly just doing something out on an older pattern,

Which I've been working with,

But there I slipped,

I fell back in into one of my older childhood trauma patterns or because we've been stressed out or frustrated and we take it out on the other one.

We all know that this has happened.

So the first step is there to say,

Okay,

The one that's done it says,

I'm sorry,

I fucked up.

And I say,

It's okay.

I don't need to say I forgive you because I'm not,

I'm not a priest.

Yeah.

This is what I'm talking about.

So that's what I mean by forgiveness.

I agree.

I don't like the term just because it's so religiously loaded.

No,

But it is tied to religion.

Absolutely.

So we must use the words the right place.

The point is here.

Okay.

I'll let go of it.

Yeah.

But let us work at first and foremost,

The solution for then what's the learning lesson here for me and for you since we had that incident,

What is the learning lesson for that,

What led to the,

For instance,

This issue,

You just don't let you to,

To blow up or what led me to blow up?

What,

What was the,

The,

The root or the cause of the,

What were the cause and the conditions,

Right?

What happened there?

And then take that sometimes,

Which we know,

Which I know males are not always,

You who let's do the long process on this one where females a little bit more,

Let's talk it over,

Figure out what's going on.

But the talk has to be oriented to watch evaluation process of understanding and solutions so that it can be avoided again.

Because as my father actually told me,

When you do,

It's okay to fuck up one time because everybody does that.

We go into new situation.

We,

We are new to each other.

We're new in a relationship.

We're new at workplace or whatever.

And we mess up.

That's not that it's okay to do because we're humans,

But we do.

But the whole thing when he used to say is it's okay to fuck up once.

If you fuck up twice,

It shows signs of you're not really paying attention and you should pay more attention because you're repeating your mistake.

That can be let go of as well.

But if you do it a third time,

Then either you're completely disrespectful for the other person or you're just fucking stupid.

And normally I say when people repeat something,

Say,

Oh,

I'm sorry I messed up.

And if it just becomes like a parrot and then they repeat what they've done,

Then I lose respect for that person.

Sure.

This is really important.

You said avoid so we can avoid that again.

Totally agree.

I think a level above that though is when I say I avoid something,

That means it's still there.

I'm just stepping around it.

So ideally it would be a complete elimination or,

You know,

Transcend it.

That's what I mean.

Sure.

I'm not mean.

But we need to because something is so dangerous that it's still there that it hasn't gone away yet.

And it's in our best interest,

Both best interests to sidestep it.

We know it's still there,

But we're not picking it up.

So this is a really important thing too.

Yes,

Ideally.

Now,

Some of these things though come out of habit,

Right?

There can be a really deeply ingrained habit that it just can't be rewritten.

Some things in three times,

You know,

Some things can.

Other things take extra time.

And then this is where patience comes in,

Right?

It can be so frustrating for both parties,

Right?

Because both can or one can clearly see it.

The other one just gets so frustrated they can't change fast enough.

It comes down to sincere effort though.

How much are they committed to changing,

To resolving,

To really committing to doing this?

I think it's a big thing.

But then trust has to be regained,

Right?

It's not like this is where they have to come up with a track record.

Okay,

Show me.

You say it,

But we come from the show me state Missouri.

That's the state motto.

Show me.

You know,

I don't want to just hear about it.

You have to show me this.

So regain trust,

Get a track record down that it's really happening and not just,

You know,

Flowerly words.

Yeah.

And it's good you put it that way because as a psychotherapist,

I keep forgetting that other people think about these things in a different way than I do because I'm so trained and everything's a process.

So for me,

It's completely logical that when I say change of ways,

I know it's a process.

I know it can take years depending on how solidified is that pattern,

Emotional pattern in your neural network.

For instance,

If we,

What our brain is built up in layers.

So early childhood are the deepest layers and then it builds up to different levels where we have different habitual patterns that have been literally cemented into a neural network.

And if it's a very old pattern,

There's of course it takes longer time to change.

If we have done something for 10 years,

It might actually take us five years to change it.

But as a psychotherapist,

As well as a person that really cares about other people as I do,

For me,

It's not about,

Oh yeah,

Change completely from orange to red or whatever.

It's the little things.

It's that when,

As a person like me,

That's hugely interested in how people change,

You can see the little differences.

You can see it's a little bit different every time.

It's not the same thing.

So what I'm talking about is that if you do the same thing,

The exact same way in this exact same disrespectful manner,

Even though it has been addressed and you have learned that this is the wrong way to do it,

Then I know either I'm dealing with enormously habitual or deep coded pattern that then needs some deep psychotherapy to be cleared up,

Figure out what is that pattern about?

What's the subconscious material here?

Because clearly it cannot be seen and acknowledged as part of the daily awareness.

It just comes in and is in a kind of a trance,

Subconsciously being let out.

Or are we actually talking about that the other person literally doesn't care about me enough to want to change it.

And that's also important when we have relationships that we go in,

Whether it's friends or it's a partner or spouse,

We go in and look and say,

Okay,

We are in this joint field together and we are literally interested in developing ourselves in this joint field,

Whether it's just boyfriends and girlfriends as normal friends.

I know in America you say boyfriends and girlfriends,

But for me,

That's actually a partner.

That's one you're in love with.

So for me,

It's just a friend,

As we say in Danish.

So if it's a friend that really matters to me,

Then the investment in that relationship must be through a deeper understanding of each other,

Where we want to meet each other,

Where we actually want to throw in some effort to make that relationship work.

And that's both communication,

But it's also when we slip or when we fail or when we do something that we could have done better and the other one gets hurt.

Then if the joint interest is,

I want this relationship to work,

Then we find the solution.

It's not just about,

Oh yeah,

I fucked up,

Forgive me.

Okay,

I forgive you.

And then it's off the table.

It needs to be,

Because I'm a psychotherapist,

Then for me and a woman,

It needs to be looked at.

It needs to be,

Especially if it,

Not if it happens one time,

But if it repeats itself,

Then it must be looked at.

What's going on here?

How do we work with this?

Because clearly it hurts you,

Not you,

But the person is doing it without knowing what's actually going on and it's hurting me.

And I need to verbalize that it hurts me because if I don't verbalize that it hurts me,

Then I'm not authentic and I'm not honest about who and what I am about myself and I don't take good care of myself.

So it's not about blaming the other,

But it's about saying we have this joint field and we do care about each other.

So how do we fix this?

So we maintain friends.

So we progress our relationship where we get a deeper understanding and by that actually allows the heart energy and kindness towards each other to grow instead of the anger and the resentment and the hurt.

For me,

One of the challenges is like a righteous indignation.

I deserve to do whatever I want the way I want to do it.

And sometimes in relationships it turns into a power struggle.

It can.

And even if it's just kind of a soft power,

The other thing though that overrides all this for me is non-harming.

So when there's harm involved,

That's like a huge red flag and course correction has to come in there.

And so if we don't value or if I don't value non-harm high enough,

Well then we can come up with all kinds of justifications for our behavior or lack of concern for the other.

Another dynamic to throw in here too is our intent and the outcome.

We've talked about this.

I've talked about this on past things with other people.

The best thing that I see now is my intent is 100% my responsibility.

Now the outcome is shared because I have a part in that and how it's received by another,

They have a part in that too.

I can't control the entire outcome that happens,

Right?

At the same time,

I can't give away all responsibility and say,

Well,

I didn't intend that to happen.

That's not on me anymore.

So it's this delicate balance there too.

Again,

Though,

I can't stress enough non-harming when it comes to this type of thing.

And you can say it's not just about not harming the other person.

It's also about the joint field that we're creating together in the relationship.

As a person like I am that looks a lot into energy and energy connection and what energy does and energy doesn't do and the harm of the energy,

Then we can say the anger and the resentment and the negative emotions that can come in from time to time.

It's not about us being happy toddlers walking around,

Not doing anything wrong because we're grownups with our patterns and our history and who we are.

And that leads to clashes sometimes that leads to crashes,

As I also say it in terms of relationship,

But it is the communication.

And this is the practice is females are good at talking about emotion,

But not always solution oriented,

Not always going into the mode of,

Okay,

What's this evaluation actually about?

Is it just about blaming our partner or is it just to kind of,

I feel victimized by what you did or what's going on here?

So for me as females,

There need to be this,

At least that's how it's what for me gets the orientation of,

Okay,

This is an evaluation because I want to try create a better situation next time,

Not avoiding it as in kind of,

Oh,

I'm afraid of it.

I don't want it to happen again.

But what I mean with avoidance is that I weeded out of my behavioral vocabulary.

So I go in and say,

I look at this behavior.

I don't like this behavior.

I don't like the behavior in myself.

This work with myself first.

I don't like that behavior in myself.

So I look in and I find what's the emotional pattern behind.

I've as a therapist and before I even became a therapist,

Even as a young girl,

I was contemplating upon how do I actually want to be?

Who do I want to be as a human?

So look into again,

Look into who do I want to be?

How do I,

How do other people view me?

Not as in,

Oh,

I'm modifying myself.

So everybody find me likable because I know nobody is.

Of course,

When I was younger,

That perhaps was the goal who isn't.

But later on,

It also became as if I am expressing my authenticity.

This is who I am.

And I also need to understand that I must find ways where I can express who I am in a manner that is not harmful,

In a manner that does not threat on others and blast them to pieces,

Because that's not the point of me showing who I am as a,

As a functional human being that actually respects other people and wants to have relationships that are deep and giving and caring and nurturing each other and not have some kind of screwed up relationship because in my mind,

It's like,

Well,

Why even have a relationship if they're not nurturing and giving and kind and caring?

I always looked at people,

Relationships or friendships or whatever,

Where people are mean to each other.

I'm kind of,

Why are they even in that weird dynamic?

I understand as a therapist,

But why waste time being in that?

Well,

And that's how some people,

At least when I was coming up,

They showed kindness to each other by making fun of each other.

It's just so backwards to me.

I don't know how that works.

That's more of a male kind of thing too,

But it's just like,

That is so backwards.

You don't have to go up and hug your bro all the time and just say,

Oh,

I love you bro all the time.

I'm not saying that's the solution either.

It's just,

I found it so bizarre.

So this for me is all about fourfold,

Uprooting what's not helpful,

Eliminating it from the root,

Then preventing it from coming back,

Making effort for it so it doesn't pop up again.

Yeah,

Or making it less in stages.

Yes.

Yeah,

Right.

This doesn't happen overnight.

Sometimes it can.

Sometimes we're ripe to where we can do this much power right away.

Other times it's a long process,

Multi-step process.

Then it's generating things that are helpful,

Putting constant energy into coming up with new things that are helpful.

And then it's also putting effort into maintaining what's already there that's working.

So those four ways of approaching.

And then as females are learning,

That's a good sum up,

Josh.

As in females are learning to be more evaluation process and solution based in these conversations that we are not there,

We blast right to it because they need to be the processes of emotion,

Acknowledgement of emotions,

But also understand it's not about just wallowing around in the emotions because that's where most guys,

They just kind of,

Yeah,

Enough of all of that.

In five minutes,

I'm loaded up.

I can't take any more.

God,

Can we please not all of these emotions.

So males need to learn to be more in the emotional process and find that okay.

And I completely understand for at least my generation.

I know it's different from the younger generations,

But my generations,

I'm born in the sixties.

So for my generation,

It is that that was not except aside from,

Not except,

But aside from the hippie movement,

It has not been worked in many times that males were allowed to have emotions.

They have not been trained in their emotionality.

Like females are kind of,

Yeah,

You're so emotional.

It's almost being used as a kind of a negative understanding of emotions.

Females have overload of it,

Almost negatively making them lesser for humans,

So to speak.

And then the males were kind of,

I don't have any emotions at all.

I'm all of these mental processes and that kind of makes me a better man or what have you.

But when we talk about that might be actually on work,

That might be a good thing.

But when we talk relationships,

It over emotionality and under emotionality makes it difficult to have a fruitful relationship.

So they need to be the right amount of emotion and the right amount of mental processes.

Totally agree.

And I'll circle back around this,

But communication is like the ground and the entire thing around this,

Because if there can't be communication around this,

None of this stuff can even happen to begin with.

With emotions,

Me being fairly energetically sensitive,

I approach this maybe a different way that when I get into a hugely emotional process and I sometimes forget that it's unpleasant.

So if I go in there with the mindfulness and knowing this isn't going to be pleasant the entire time and not being afraid of that,

Then it's not as big a deal.

But when I forget that this can be unpleasant,

Then it just doesn't feel good in my body.

Like why would I want to engage in an extended emotional process when it just feels so horrible?

And at the same time,

When I reflect on it,

The only way out is through.

So these emotions do need to go into,

And at the same time,

How much of these are really necessary?

How much do I need to wallow in them?

Does it need to go to such extremes of unpleasantness and on the other end,

Extreme pleasantness?

Where is this helpful and where is it not?

So I think the dynamic between men and women,

This is kind of the push and pull where I feel maybe that women in general,

If I can make a generalization here,

Give more value to emotions and emotional process.

They also get a lot of more benefit from going through these and mastering them,

While men maybe not so much.

So where can we meet each other in the middle of these things as well?

And I know one huge area for improvement for men in general is Mr.

Fix It,

Right?

I want to jump in there and I want to fix things all the time.

The best thing for me to do a lot of times is just be present and listen while this process goes through,

While this process in hearing it out.

It doesn't need a solution.

A lot of things don't need a solution and at the same time,

Some things do.

So but for the overall,

For men in general,

I would say the advice is more to be present and just listen.

Be there.

Hear out.

Exactly.

Because the whole when,

If I have some kind of emotional outburst and life is a little bit too tough to my liking and I'm kind of,

Which I can't speak on behalf of all females.

So I will only speak on behalf of me and as one that's worked with my own emotions for since,

Actually since I was 22,

Because I was overwhelmed by the emotionality I had in this physical form and being one that has always worked with energy and has previous lives of working with energy and in that one,

In a way,

Been born a little bit clavoian and already awakened and by that addressing life very different from most people asking questions most people didn't ask,

At least in the stages of my life,

Let's put it that way.

So,

So for me,

Having that orientation,

Understanding why do I have this over emotionality because that's not who I am.

But learning later on is kind of the pattern from my mother who was over emotional and learning that working through some of the things I worked through were actually her own resolved business I was completing in my energy system.

So that's also part of the clearing work to understand sometimes we act out what we got from our parents.

So that's part of the clearing process as well.

And that's also why we sometimes in relationships respond in that trance,

Not only just because of dark coding,

But also because we are literally playing out the patterns of our parents.

So we're playing out the dynamics between our parents in our relationship.

So that needs to be on top of as well and cleared out.

But for me,

After having worked psychologically and in clearing work and in meditation and in inner work and in healing work and playably and all the levels that we can come up with over 20 years.

So this is not just something,

Oh yeah,

I did it for two minutes and then I got nailed it down.

But all of the energies I'm working with,

The encounters I have,

All the different realms I'm working in,

The releasing work I'm participating in,

I am so used to enormous amount of suffering and an enormous amount of pain,

Both from my clients,

But also from the entities I'm working with when I release them,

Whether they are astral or mental or other dimensional or from parallel systems or grace or whatever they are.

When we come to that encounter where we sense the other being as part of our energy system,

What they hold will then be felt completely.

And that's where the ability to still be sound and whole and kind,

But also saying no and have that strong empowerment while still feeling that enormous amount of suffering has made me kind of,

Yeah,

That's just emotions.

That's just a chemical rush.

Why flee away from it?

It's just the body that responds to a specific type of energy.

We are kind of saying,

Oh yeah,

I like the orgasm.

I like that chemical rush.

But the sadness or the pain or the existential pain or something that really breaks down our heart field,

That's just energy as well.

That can,

It's our thought forms around it is how we perceive it as something,

Oh,

This is too difficult.

I can't handle this.

So I must run away from it instead of just,

This is just the body responding to a specific type of energy.

So investigate it and say,

Okay,

What's going on here?

Why,

Why,

Why is that energy there?

And sometimes as a female,

Which is one of the good things we female are allowed to do,

A good cry is all that's needed.

Just literally,

Cataclysmic crying where you literally sobbing and like that,

Giving it a good go and exercise the heart muscle to release these chemicals.

Whereas males are not allowed to do that.

They are in meditation though when nobody else is around.

And for me,

It's not sobbing and crying.

It's weeping.

Yeah.

I did that for,

You know,

Like years when I first started,

But it was socially acceptable because I was by myself.

What comes to mind here,

What's brought up around this is,

You know,

What part of this are we running away from and too afraid to face headlong,

Which I would just give a rallying cry for men to face their pain.

And even women too,

Because we do so many different coping strategies.

They're helpful at certain times when it gets too overwhelming,

But how much can we actually go into this in order to address it and deal with it that we've been putting off?

I know I did for years and years and I didn't even know I was doing it until it was almost too late and I had to face it.

I was forced to.

Now,

And then how much are we not going into her pain,

But then how much are we actually adding psychological suffering on top of the pain that's already there?

You know,

We're going to have pain throughout our entire life.

The other dynamic I'm wondering about is boundaries,

Especially when all these things come in,

Getting the shit thrown at us from all different levels.

Excuse my French again.

Where do we put boundaries?

How thick do we make them?

Even more important,

How do we communicate those boundaries to people that may not understand what we're going through?

You know,

Who may say,

Well,

That's just a little too extreme for me.

You know,

That's a little bit too much.

But then,

Or the opposite,

Where we don't have enough boundaries.

Just people let in anything all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And one of the questions I always,

Again,

We need to look at what level are we talking about here?

Are we talking about psychological boundaries between two people within the base program doing normal human emotionality?

Then we are talking about a different type of boundaries than when we talk about energy.

And then when we talk about boundaries of energy,

I have in my work with both clients as a healer and the way I work,

Because I can hold it.

I have a very unique energy system that transforms things.

So for me,

I don't need the white sphere of protection and these kinds of things.

I never,

That's not a thing.

Not even when I began doing energy work,

Was that something that was on my mind.

For me,

It was just about this needs to be looked at,

This needs to be transformed,

This needs to be released.

I just knew that was how I could do it.

And I can.

I have that enormously strong energy system that can break down and build itself back up.

Whereas others that have a weaker energy system might feel the need to protect themselves.

And sometimes when I say to people,

Which has been misunderstood as if I have fear of these encounters.

No,

But sometimes I get tired of it.

Sometimes I feel worn out.

Sometimes I feel,

Yeah,

Not today,

Dude.

I would like not to get shit stomped today because I'm in the rebuilding process.

But that does not mean that I have fear of it.

I do have things I feel that is so unpleasant,

I would like to not encounter it again.

And by that,

Since I know what leads to that encounter,

I find it wise not to amplify what leads to that encounter.

But that does not mean I have fear of it.

But when we talk about normal people,

And interestingly enough,

I have to be more afraid of people,

Kind of energetic entities,

Because energetic entities you can clear.

Whereas people that are enormously angry or have a specific modality they are acting out can actually instigate that chemical response in my system that the emotional field defines as fear.

So how do I respond to these situations as in if I am a situation that actually does give fear?

And interestingly enough,

I get very,

Very centered and very,

Very,

Not cold,

But I get in what we could call survival mode,

Which I've experienced again and again.

So in such a situation where I am in,

I can come up with several,

But I won't,

That's a little bit too personal.

I have seen myself respond in a way that take really good care of myself,

Protecting myself.

So I have this inbuilt,

Interesting enough that all of these energies are flowing in and out of me and all of these different things that are going on.

And at the same time,

I'm enormously protective of myself because I know how important it is to nurture myself in the right way.

So that even though I go through all of these stages,

I keep rebuilding myself because not because I'm the most important person in the world,

But because I have that same respect for myself and my own energy system,

Who I am and the self care that leads me to,

In the same way I respect other life forms,

I also respect myself.

And this is where we go next,

Self care.

And the more I can take care of myself,

The more other people benefit because that's less crap that I'm projecting into the world,

Right?

The less burden I have to be on someone else.

And so I can show up for them or myself even better when we're doing self care.

I know for me,

It's a big part is meditation,

Mindfulness,

Checking in,

Seeing what's going on.

It's a great container because it's sitting down and just going within,

See what's falling on my plate in the moment,

What I've been neglecting,

Things that I haven't been seeing before.

And I try to engage in heart practices I can.

Nurturing.

For guys,

It's a little bit different.

For me,

It was hard saying these I love you's to my own heart.

It felt sappy.

But that honesty is self care too,

Being honest to myself,

Not lying to myself.

Cooking good meals.

I mean,

It's just something as simple as that.

That's one of my things I did during the lockdowns is spend extra time nurturing the body with nutriment and nourishment instead of neglecting that or going overboard on the other end.

And I know a lot of people have emotional eating.

I've seen this too.

All these different things.

So what really feels nourishing,

I feel is a good thing.

Replenishing.

What does self care mean to you?

The way I work with it,

Because when I began my awakening process,

And when I was 22,

Actually,

I got so down,

Down in a rabbit hole.

I was so deep down that I actually contemplated taking my own life.

Just say it as it is.

I had gotten myself into a situation that was so far from everything I was.

I had traveled in Israel.

I had some trauma coming home from there.

I got myself involved in a relationship where I was profoundly unhappy.

And I got myself distanced from my family.

And I just felt enormously alone and miserable and what have you.

But for me,

And I know I make it sound like it's,

Oh,

Yes,

Just every day,

But I worked years to get out of that process.

It's not something,

But now because I have gone through it,

I can talk about it more lightly.

So that's why I talk about it in this way.

But what I kind of,

I had this profound dream I referred to many times as I was on an ocean,

Floating on an ocean with a mattress.

And my mattress was sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

And as I sunk and saw myself in that dream sinking,

Thinking,

Oh,

I'm sinking.

This is not good.

And then at the same time,

How can I breathe?

I'm underwater.

I'm not supposed to be able to breathe.

All of these processes I heard in my head and it jolted me out of my dream and wake up,

See things as they truly are.

And we know that's a very strong Buddhist saying,

But I got that when I was 22.

And I thought to myself,

When I woke up,

I thought to myself,

If I can get myself into such a deep depression,

I can also get myself out of it.

And that's where I know I'm different because how many people think that rationally,

Logically,

If I can get myself so far out,

I can also get myself back.

So thereby my advice is always,

I must always think about my psychotherapeutic training of how most people deal with things and then how I have dealt with things.

But one of the things that I began was of course looking for answers because I wanted to know why is the world as it is?

What is going on here?

Why am I even in this situation?

Why is this ridiculous life situation as I also had when I was a kid asking these questions,

Which are then suppressed,

Which led me to my depression,

So to speak.

So my way out of my depression was awakening and finding answers,

But not answers as in society shit and government is treating me badly because I live in Denmark where we actually have a quite good system taking care of each other.

So for me,

It was the existential questions,

The existential questions of how had I got myself into this situation,

Why had I made these choices?

And that aside from knowing that I actually shouldn't have done this choice because I was a bright kid,

I was a smart kid,

I used to write some very profound poems,

I was in good contact with my emotions.

So why had I got myself into that situation when I had the skills to actually work with emotions?

Why was it there?

But to go in,

Sorry about that,

Just going into this whole asking me what was the first step when I really began,

That was self-nurturing for me is a kind of self-parenting.

Because for me,

What I figured out was that the way,

Not that I had bad parents per se,

But I had definitely some emotional trauma from that unfulfilled connection.

And one of the ways it played out was exactly as we see it in many people,

Not eating healthy enough,

Not taking good care of my body,

Not going to the bathroom and poop when I had to poop,

Not going and pee when I had to pee,

Not getting enough sleep.

So I trained,

Now I feel I need to go and poop,

Now I go poop,

Now I need to pee,

Now I go pee,

Now I'm thirsty,

Now I drink,

Now I'm hungry,

So I eat,

But I eat good,

Healthy food and I need to exercise.

And then I began looking for the existential answers.

So that was my recipe.

So for me,

It was similar once I realized the bad choices.

First I thought I was completely justified making those,

Like again,

Self-righteous,

I didn't do anything to harm anybody but myself.

Without assigning blame though,

I realized,

Oh,

I acted very unskillfully in certain situations and I had a lot of stuff thrown on me too.

Then you get into reviewing the childhood and that's where the reparenting can very be helpful.

At first I was blaming my parents and then I come to realize they were doing the best they could.

If they could have done better,

They would.

Now it doesn't excuse the emotional challenges,

Let's just put it that way,

That came about that.

It doesn't make them right at all.

And if we go in to say,

Oh,

They didn't do anything wrong,

That's a really slippery slope because there was harm done.

Acknowledging the harm that was done and balancing it at the same time,

They didn't have a clue.

It doesn't make what they did right or anything because they are doing the best they can.

And I know when I changed my own relationship with myself,

My relationship with my family got way better.

It was amazing how reality shifted and changed like that.

When I could start taking responsibility and I could see that they were still like children on some levels and then I was taking extra responsibility where they couldn't see or address or had the tools to even know how to address a lot of things.

Giving myself,

Befriending myself,

Would I say what I'm saying to myself,

Would I say that to a friend?

No.

Why would I say it to myself then?

How much can I turn myself into a friend?

That was a really big hump to get over bad states and negative self states and the reparenting.

But for me then,

Instead of getting so much in the existential questions,

For me it was like,

Wait a second,

It seems like the wool's been pulling over my eyes here a little bit.

The things that I've been told about reality,

There's more to it than what I've been told if it's not a complete and blatant lie to begin with.

All these different things waking up that the world is far much more different than we have been led to believe it is.

So that,

Looking deeply into the nature of reality,

Even just in the everyday thing,

They're not telling us a lot of things about how am I with that?

Who can I talk to this about?

For a long time there,

I couldn't talk to anybody about it.

I lost friends and then I made new friends too.

This goes to another huge thing about self-care that came up is belonging.

So this notion that no one is going through the same thing I'm going through.

For a short time that was the case,

But that is not the case.

No matter what we've gone through,

At least somebody at some point in time has had somewhat similar experiences.

Because we're all interconnected,

We don't exist in a vacuum.

It doesn't take away from our unique experiences at all.

It's not going to be exactly the same thing.

But this notion of where do I belong in all this?

Do I need to contact my space brothers more or do I need to dial it down and go into a community?

This again is balanced with distancing myself from the things that aren't helpful too.

So just because I only have one or two friends doesn't make it any less important or less valuable or less helpful than if I had thousands of friends.

As we say in Danish,

Rather one bird in your hand than ten on the roof.

So that's actually saying treasure what you have.

Have good relationships more than just have a lot of acquaintances.

Because for me at least,

What's the point of that?

But that's what we call networking.

I want to put in here a little bit when you mentioned about parents and one of the things as a psychotherapist when I've been working with children of sexual abuse or of other forms of abuse,

Then it's enormously important to learn to let go but at the same time also acknowledge the blame.

Not blame as a negative but actually seeing is that that parent did a severely dish job.

There was harm done.

Yes.

So that needs to be acknowledged.

That can never be forgotten.

Absolutely.

Or let go of.

That's beside the point right now.

That has to be the and it can't be forgotten either because it doesn't want it.

The reason to remember that,

Acknowledge it so it doesn't happen again.

Yeah.

But also to get to the point where not that we're going to because that's a whole other dynamic that is very,

Very important.

I'm just putting it in there so we understand again when because one of the things that that's why I say I don't believe in forgiveness,

Many spiritual thought forms and ideas that go with forgive no matter what they've done to you,

Forgive them because then you will be released.

And for me the psychodynamics in that one is that no,

Because if someone has done something to you that is so harmful that it's detrimentally has changed your personality structure into a traumatic pattern,

Then forgiveness is not the solution.

The understanding of the pattern,

The clearing of the pattern,

The clearing of the dynamics and learn to activate the frontal lobe so that we can act against that enormously traumatized pattern and choose paths for ourselves that are more fruitful for our own self nurturing and reparenting is the solution.

But still acknowledge that the ones that cause that severe trauma,

Yes,

We can let go,

But we are allowed to be angry with them.

We are allowed to look at them and say,

What the fuck?

What you did was not right.

Sorry,

My French here.

It's a good point.

The Christians say forgive and forget.

I would say forgive maybe,

But forgetting is not going to be helpful if it leads to it happening again and again,

Then that's more and more harm caused.

Now I totally agree that this is steeped in religious terminology.

So I want to know what is the substitute for this word forgiveness.

And I want to read just a three paragraph phrase really briefly that I found really helpful practice for me.

But when I say forgiveness,

I want to substitute it for the meaning that Randy and I are agreeing on here,

The whole dynamic that goes into that.

Unfortunately,

I don't see a better word that would go into it.

Yeah,

Let letting go.

Yes.

So here's the phrase.

It's a three way forgiveness phrase.

To those I may have caused harm knowingly or unknowingly through my thoughts,

Words or actions,

I ask you to consider forgiving me.

To those who may have caused me harm knowingly or unknowingly through their thoughts,

Words or actions,

I freely offer my forgiveness as best as I am able at this time.

And for any harm I may have caused myself knowingly or unknowingly through my thoughts,

My words,

My actions,

I offer my forgiveness.

I forgive myself as best as I can at this time.

So this goes into yes,

Balancing this between,

You know,

How much of this process when it works or when it's authentic or when we nail it with the right language and energy results in releasing a burden,

Letting go of that burden that I'm carrying around,

Right?

And how much of it doesn't.

Now I also want to say that when Randy frames this in regards to severe trauma,

That's different.

What I'm talking about really,

It's a whole different dynamic that I'm really not trained in yet and I'm still very fascinated by going through these processes of learning and addressing trauma,

Especially severe trauma,

Because all my spiritual karate moves,

They don't really apply to trauma.

So that's why I find it so baffling that it's a whole other ballgame basically.

So again,

You know,

How much of this can lead to putting down this burden and not picking this up and how much of it doesn't help.

So I want to put in there just to make sure that those who are listening to this podcast,

Some of the ideas here,

They are just the surface of some very long processes.

They are not achieved lightly.

They come through deep inner work and contemplation.

And I would say what you have read up there is actually more an exercise in loving kindness than it actually is an exercise in learning to let go,

Because these are two different dynamics.

The letting go is a psychodynamic that goes with actual life,

Where that one I see more as an energetic contemplation exercise for loving kindness to work with the heart field and understand,

Okay,

What do I cling on to because I have some sense of self-righteousness that I'm not willing to let go what I have of ideas and beliefs of others,

Because that gives me a standpoint of either harm or indignation or some kind of power or some kind of feeling of something where for me,

The loving kindness in that context with these three sayings are about learning to let go,

But also learning to let go of perception of others,

Perception of self and perception of the situation in itself and investigate it openly and with kindness.

Yes,

It addresses ill will too.

It's a direct counter to ill will.

These type of processes,

They are very surface,

But sometimes that's all it takes.

Sometimes it's on the surface to be dealt with and that's all it takes.

Other times it's not going to work.

Again,

It has to be the right time.

We can't really force this.

As far as letting go,

Sometimes I let go,

Let go,

Let go,

But it keeps coming back.

It keeps coming back.

Part of it is an active process.

Sometimes though,

It just kind of releases when the time is right,

When a realization happens,

When it can be seen and known and then realized for oneself.

A lot of times that's when that release kind of just goes on its own.

But it's again,

Many different layers of the emotional pattern.

So again,

As always,

I say,

Oh,

I want to do a talk about this.

So we kind of get some ideas out there.

And then as all processes do,

It is open up for another process and another understanding of who we are as people,

Who we are as humans,

Who we are as lodged into our psychosocial,

Sexual orientations and means of being multidimensional humans.

I actually kind of was thinking about today with all of these new classifications that comes up.

Why not just say we're multidimensional,

Not only as in being able to connect to multidimensions,

But we are also on many dimensions.

We're also multidimensional as beings and all of our different psychological aspects of different types of skin tones or gender or orientation or what we find important and belief systems and onward and so forth.

I like this term full spectrum human,

But the multidimensional human is even goes beyond that because the spectrum is it's more of a.

.

.

You want the spectrum?

Yes.

So full spectrum human.

So point being in this one,

Just to sum a little bit up here that for me,

Both as a psychotherapist,

But also as an energy practitioner for the path of liberation,

For the work of remembering who I am,

Reconnecting to my past lives to bring in what can be brought into this life so I can finish unfinished business,

So I can clear the patterns of the past so I can be present in the now from which I actually have an amount of energy from which I can choose my future actions in observance and remembering of who and what I am.

That's for me,

The path of liberation.

And that's for me,

The work of rebirth to not avoid rebirth,

But to understand there are dynamics that leads to a repetition of patterns.

And if I can get these patterns cleared and all of their levels,

Be it multidimensionally on timelines and code streams and going far beyond what most people work with,

Then I have that centerness that I see as being truly authentic and truly sovereign.

It has nothing to do with power,

But it has to do with the ability to transform energy.

And for me in that context,

Then letting go means to transform what has been created energetically.

It means to transform the crystallization so we don't get in unfinished business patterns that lead us to be brought together again and again so we can get a second chance to do and undo the harm that we have caused upon each other.

For me,

The understanding of being harmless means to not create crystallization,

Negative energy,

Distortion energies,

But to be in that process of reaching what I see as the highest purity rate on the physical level,

The highest standards on the vibrational emotional level and the highest progression rate on the mental level.

And from that understanding,

Everything I do will be seen in this interaction,

In what's going on here between you and me,

What then leads to the highest potential outcome for both of us,

For the joint progression for both of us that will lead the other to not necessarily being a better human,

Quote unquote,

Because what is a better human?

And sometimes we get together in situations that are enormously unpleasant.

But if both are willing to learn from it,

If both are ready to clear themselves of what was being shown there,

Then instead of having it as an unpleasant situation that needs forgiveness,

Then it becomes an opportunity for change,

For transformation,

For growth.

And that sounds so simple and easy and not to be thrown at us when we're lying there on the carpet crying or whatever,

Then that's not the time to say it.

But once we are ready,

As we kind of know we can laugh about a situation eventually,

Then we go in and we do that process.

So we look at it,

So we develop from it and we progress from it.

And that's for me 10 times more important than the concept of forgiveness.

And that is also self-nurturing in my perspective.

Totally agree.

And forgiveness is just one tiny tool amongst all these things.

Yes.

Way I can simplify it in a way is what's being bound,

What's bound together in an enslavement and an imprisonment manner,

And then what's being clung to.

And then seeing that,

Knowing that,

Realizing that,

And then what is the best way to address that.

Yes.

And then we can say,

When you talk about that debt,

Going back to that one,

Because who is indebting us,

Ourselves or others or both?

That's a good question to contemplate upon.

Thank you.