Christian De La Huerta:Teaching Heartful Presence Skillfully

Christian de la Huerta [please excuse my lack of pronunciation] a spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach and leading voice in the breathwork community and I discuss how to go about systematically teaching and even just speaking about presence and embodied heart-centered consciousness

Transcript

Easiest way Hold this and welcome.

This is josh tepold of integrating presence.

Com today.

I have christian Della hurta with me right?

We talked a little bit before about my pronunciation sometimes christian.

How's it going?

I'm doing pretty well josh.

I'm glad we we're having this conversation So uh christian reached out to me initially and I turned him down for speaking initially and then he came back,

Uh with uh this question of um that he He well actually i'm sorry,

Let's get it.

We'll get into that in a little bit But first off what I do with these standardly is instead of reading a printed introduction I toss it back to christian christopher and this will be the first time me getting to talk to him to just jump right in What do you do?

Who are you and what do you do?

So introduce yourself if you'd like.

Yeah Yeah,

Thanks josh.

I've been doing personal transformation work um and and with groups as well with corporations focused on Relationships on personal empowerment on women's empowerment on life purpose For over 30 years.

It's been a long time I'm a TEDx speaker.

I've got a couple of books out The most recent one is called awakening the soul of power which talks about how we step into power Our personal power in a way that's not about hierarchy domination fear For there's control different way.

That is more of a match with who we are authentically I lost your sound all of a sudden that's because i'm muted So So what else i'm i'm Trying to think well,

We'll just jump into it here It's you sound kind of like me that don't want to talk too much about yourself or rather talk about kind of the the meat And potatoes here of the the kind of the work so christian reached out to me and Wanted to know about Presence.

Well,

I had these fancy buzzwords on my on my site right about integrating presence and embodying heart-centered wisdom And even though they are fancy buzzwords,

You know kind of dig into what that actually means I don't use those for no purpose whatsoever um these and christian said if I if i'm remembering right you said well,

I I this I I I have those qualities.

It's what makes me a good coach,

But I struggle with Um teaching them in a systematic way and even speaking about them Right,

That's right.

Yeah,

So could you could you tell me some more about that?

And Yeah,

Well,

It's one of it's one of the skills that I think make a good coach is the ability to be fully present When i'm with somebody or even in front of a group i'm there a hundred percent myself and I have apprentices that I teach how to facilitate breath work how how do you know how to how to help other people and and Sometimes I just fall short of words about how to explain What it is that I do like i'll say something like right when i'm there with a client Or in front of a group.

I don't care what's happening with your life.

I don't care what's happening with your your boyfriend or girlfriend or What actually what's going on in the world when you're there with a client all that gets put into a drawer You can pick it up in an hour or three hours And and it'll be there um and and yet I figured there's there have to be better ways to teach presence And yeah,

I know how to take people in guided,

You know processes to go deeper and deeper within themselves and I do that well But what I think i'm lacking is the language like how do you teach presence?

Yeah,

It's a really good question.

And um It's well first off,

You know,

I think it would be good to talk about this integrating presence So the reason one of the reasons I chose to do it with an ing is it's an ongoing process,

Right?

It's not something that's just been established and then we've got it down and then we can just go back to netflix You know,

Um,

It's an ongoing process,

You know,

It doesn't seem to end um,

And yeah,

You seem to Embody this quite well,

You know,

We kind of know when someone's fully attentive fully there or not,

Right?

If if they're just You know somewhere else,

You know mentally emotionally not physically because that's what that you know That's the one thing where everybody's really present at least somewhat until they they go away,

But it is a really good question um,

And so I came up more in the buddhist,

Um The buddhist training and practice and study so that's primarily where I can talk from even though I really don't consider myself technically a buddhist um I think one place to start perhaps would be just this notion of past and future right the past being Um something that is is not possible to go back and change,

You know,

These obvious things that we know cognitively Um,

But it's good to state them Anyway,

I feel and then if we get too caught in the past a lot of times it can bring on,

You know Sadness depending on how what we're ruminating on or reflecting on the past and how we're doing that And then anxiety in the future if we you know,

The future is uncertain Um,

It hasn't got here yet,

And we don't know for sure.

What what we what would the future will bring?

And even when we're reflecting or even when we um are caught in the past and future,

Right?

It is just a thought in the now so when I Am thinking i'm living in the past.

It's actually just a thought or a memory in the now Those in the same way with the future,

Right when we're we're planning or seeing things in the future It's actually a thought right here and now Yeah,

Exactly,

Which which is where the human mind goes to 99 of the time we're either rehashing Stuck in a past that is gone and will never come to be again or projecting into fantasizing about Hallucinating about a future that may or may not come to be and and you're absolutely right is when we're futurizing That's where anxiety happens when we're kind of scare ourselves about what may or may not happen And I think you know when we're stuck in the past and we're ruminating and rehashing all that past That's where grief and regret and Guilt live and none of it is real.

The only thing we know is real is this moment The only thing we know that is not a figment of our image imagination or memory Or fantasy.

Yes.

Yeah,

And it's also important too at the same time not to completely write it down Not to completely write it off the past in the future either and to condemn ourselves for being lost in that because it is really Important to have retrospect Retrospection right that to the wisdom of retrospection to reflect on our lives how it's gone You know because in there's certain things that have happened to us certain things We've done in our past that we don't want to repeat again So from time to time it's very helpful to reflect especially even on our day briefly And see the importance of it,

But also know that's exactly what it is It's a thinking or a remembering process a reflection process a contemplation process Not necessarily a reality and same way with the future I have a I have a tendency not to plan enough sometimes and now i'm Here I am in europe and i've got a bunch of things to plan for for three months You know not having a home or anything like this So i'm making all these different arrangements and plannings that I don't normally do So it's it's interesting to see my kind of presence and mindfulness when I have to Do these plannings right to live day by day or you know,

You know month by or however Whatever time scale we want to give to it.

So yeah Yeah,

I think you're absolutely right It doesn't mean that we're denying a past and all all our wisdom and experience and connections and History with our loved ones,

Of course not Nobody's gonna take that away from us But it's when we're stuck when our mind is stuck in the past or or again,

It's a good thing to to Dream about our future and kind of Taking steps and plans and and breaking goals into smaller manageable more More doable pieces.

That's all great Um,

So it's not saying don't do that Um,

It's saying like like there's a cost for when we're stuck in the past or fantasizing about the future There's there's a cost that we pay We're missing opportunities if we're having a conversation we're missing Really important cues,

You know,

That could be subtle that could be You know the way that a person speaks the the words that they use the words that they don't use Uh the pauses the the body language the energetic exchange.

That's all giving us invaluable information And if we're stuck in our own heads planning what we're gonna say in response then we're missing all that stuff And and even in terms of productivity at work if we're worried about The future or if we're or that meeting that we're going to have with with our supervisor tomorrow morning We're our productivity is being impacted negatively So so there are a lot of benefits You know the quality of our relationships will definitely improve the more present that we become And as far as teaching this and speaking about this It is just it some people just aren't cut out to do it,

Right?

I mean I Have a lot to learn about speaking as well because I stutter and stammer I just have this drive to talk and cheer anyway,

So that That's a start I would say And it there's three other ways i'd like to break it down is um ethics practice and wisdom and even Needed a little bit of wisdom even to begin with to see the importance of this right and then with ethics and practice I feel that uh that helps gain wisdom and by wisdom.

I mean not just something we read in a book but lived Experience to know how to apply knowledge and insights to how we uh Think speak and act in the world that will lead towards uh our own happiness the happiness of others And for all beings everywhere potentially so and the ethics are just these basic things that are a practice in In and of themselves,

You know this this thing about not Harming right not harming.

That's where it all starts for me because Just imagine the world something we usually take for granted,

You know,

Imagine the world one day That nobody killed each other.

No human took another human life.

I think the whole world would You know change overnight almost but and that's something we take for granted,

But not everybody can say that You know in these things like not taking what's not offered.

Um you know refraining from Sexual misconduct whatever that one might mean And then you know speaking truthfully not deliberately telling falsehoods These go a long way actually.

It's not like a book.

It's not like a book And these go a long way actually it's not like a burden And it's not thou shalt not for me.

It's a training right?

It's a practice and uh,

It's for our own benefit I totally agree.

I don't I don't live by many rules But one of them that I do honor is do no harm Which you know has a lot of permutations depending on you know,

The real life situations um But but yeah,

I've I resonate with the way that you're speaking about ethics And so what's the connection between ethics and presence?

What's that weaving presence?

Yeah,

So the more um,

Usually at least for my experience the more ethically I mean,

I wasn't always like this too But when I started practicing actually did more meditation practice first and then these came second when traditionally You know usually start with ethics first Um,

I just noticed how my life got way much uh way better.

I was less worried about things about you know Repercussions that would come back to me from acting kind of unskillfully unwholesomely,

Right?

And then skillful actions have skillful results So but this is a really good question,

Too I just it it opened up more bandwidth to be in the moment too and be more present,

Right?

There was a lot.

Um,

A lot of things kind of get cleared and we don't When we meet someone they can kind of sense that we're not going to be a harm to them And so they that's a gift I can give someone else when they know that i'm not going to be of A harm to them so they can relax let their guard down right and maybe open up and like this So if everybody's kind of on my guard or i'm trying to cover up lie after lie Um,

You know are a white lie then that takes a lot more effort and bandwidth in order to you know Unless it's the complete reversal where somebody has to really tune in to read the other person in order to manipulate them,

Right?

Um,

So discernment is always key as well And that comes with the wisdom aspect too.

But yes,

You're going to say You know that makes sense because like like that's one of the reasons that I don't lie that I choose not to lie Right,

And it doesn't mean that I have to say,

You know Whatever is in my mind to everybody that i'm speaking with of course we retain choice about that about what we say to whom when um,

But It's like when we lie it takes us out of being present because then we have to be remembering You know,

It puts us into that more machiavellian Uh managerial is like wait,

Wait,

What what did I say to this one?

And when did I say it and and it just pops us out that That does it takes magic of just being present with someone else It takes so much extra energy and effort to keep track of all these little lies and what someone said to someone And oh my goodness,

Are they gonna catch me in a lie and then yes,

You know,

Then then people will blow people I know it's just it's just so easier to not do that Makes me tired just thinking about all that stuff,

You know,

Me too and i've certainly done that,

You know Or when I was younger in my life,

But i'm grateful that I realized that that what we're just talking about So much work.

No,

I'm not and i'm not willing to to do that yeah,

It's and you know these um,

Yeah,

And so the next thing is um,

Kind of these these practices.

So um,

Let's see the the practices of of mindfulness.

So traditionally it's called the four foundations of mindfulness and You know,

I don't know how much I want to go into this because there's so much out there There's so many better uh teachers than me,

But basically it's training,

Uh through meditation It's fourfold basically is the um the body um Hedonic tone.

I like to call it hedonic tone.

Basically every experience we have is either pleasant unpleasant Or neither of those neither pleasant nor unpleasant Um,

Which is very helpful for people who are come more from emotions,

Right?

Um Knowing that a lot of our action just comes from Seeking the pleasant wanting to get rid of the unpleasant and then kind of zoning out or not having any interest when they're neither of those Um,

Just having that that training helps so much to be present too Um,

Then then there's the mind And then there's the fourth one Um,

That was the third one is just the mind and the fourth one is like there's a lot of different names for it Technically it's dhammas,

Which is a list of five other lists,

But let's just say it's like different phenomena or um contents of mind,

Um,

So We won't go into all these.

Um,

Actually I want to go back Really briefly about speech and so the ethics around speech too and we touched on some of them already the not telling a falsehood Um,

You know and at the right time you mentioned some timeliness because you know,

There's just certain times not to say things um,

The other ones that make sense are Being kind right sayings don't not using harsh speech.

So saying it kindly.

Um Saying it,

Uh in a in a way that creates concord and unity instead of division And then the other one is kind of frivolous speech Uh,

There's you know,

Um refraining from frivolous speech or you know,

Idle chatter is one way to put it now This is you know,

It's different like if we're in a situation And there's this like dead air silence,

Right?

Uh,

And people are getting uncomfortable.

Well,

Of course,

That's the time when I need to do small talk,

Right?

Put the other person at ease.

I don't really consider that,

You know,

Idle chatter.

So well,

It's interesting I'm glad you include that because I don't do that.

Well,

I don't do chit chat.

Well,

Yeah For better or for worse.

It's not my comfort zone um,

I've I've for better for worse,

I'd like to dive deep with somebody and I and with little little time We may have together.

I want to get to know like the deepest of you that I can you're like when I get down to Essential.

Yes stuff as quickly as possible This is where I had to actually train in that because I mean I was getting crit.

It's like oh you just wanted You know,

You just want to um jump right into it,

You know And yeah,

I'm this i'm usually the same way So it was because I saw the kind of pointlessness of it in such a waste of time that we have Have this precious life and you know,

The time is the most valuable thing in the world to me You know can always make more money,

But can't get our time back So and and respectfully,

Of course if we meet somebody we're not going to ask them right away about their most intimate um You know secrets or what they do in the bedroom.

Of course now that's not appropriate But but you can dive into essential conversation and and really get to know somebody quickly Without getting into all that deeply personal stuff.

It is true and and for me I Was not as much interested in that is the kind of the deeper existential questions And it's people are just kind of like turned off right away,

Right?

Like well,

You know,

Why are you here?

You know,

Where did you know?

Yes,

It's like yeah,

So are yeah are asking about their deepest beliefs and these type of things that are really um Intricate philosophical questions right kind of hung that one up in college.

That was the time for that one Until until it's the right and appropriate time so yeah,

So so going back to that and um The the meditation practice.

Well first I instead of me just you know,

Giving a lecture here Tell me about some of the practices you engage in.

Um Do you do you have daily practice or do you recommend practices or which ones have you found helpful?

I'm,

I'm a breathwork practitioner,

Which is a whole whole other conversation.

There's a lot of it's a large umbrella term Um,

But there are a lot of breathing practices that to me are what I find most effective And and it kind of becomes second nature Um in the end the beginning it's practice and you're absolutely right that it is a journey of a lifetime like we don't ever let Up,

But it does become easier and it does become more second nature um,

And so Yeah,

Like even if you're you're stuck in traffic Um,

And you start,

You know getting upset because you're gonna be late which is futurizing Futurizing,

Uh,

So in that moment,

You know what I what I do is just Calm down like take a few deep breaths and and even that just begins to calm down the body There are swamis in india that have that much control over their body that they can tell the heart to slow down And the heart slows down some of them even mimicking states that are hard to distinguish from death.

Most of us now are not gonna Um have that kind of mastery over the body,

But anybody any one of us can slow down the breath That's just a matter of a choice and a little bit of a discipline And what happens when we slow down the breath is that the heart has no choice the heart has to slow down so And and when the heart slows down then the body begins to relax the nervous The nervous system begins to quiet down and we bring ourselves back to center back to calmness And so it's a it's a simple practice Not easy in the in the heat of the moment,

Right if you're about to engage in and get in sucked into an argument um And there's a whole other conversation about what to do in those settings to prevent,

You know Reacting and then saying something that we're going to regret down the road Um,

Because what you were talking about it was less than kind it was hurtful It was accusatory was pointing the finger was blaming somebody else Um,

And then what happens is that we just get caught in those power plays of you do you did this?

No,

You did that you always do this.

No,

No you will Never ends.

Well And so that's one of the ways in which mindfulness practices like like we're talking about and even just focusing on the breath Will have a huge impact on the quality of our lives on our health Because we're stuck in traffic or or get upset because somebody cut us off They either two things happen even either they were completely clueless and didn't even know what they did or they did it intentionally Either way,

They're fine,

Right?

They they're they're they're okay It's our bio that's being released by our by our body and that's starting to eat us up from the inside out So we're the ones paying the price.

So this is also a matter of health and well-being not just Inner peace it has implications implications,

Um until you know on our bodies and our relationships and all our lives It does and I have um mentioned this practice several times of taking the three breath highway Just being fully present for the entirety of three breaths Has a huge difference and that can be one's meditation practice daily meditation But it doesn't take any more than that at least to start off with it can go up,

You know from from there I found it very helpful.

Now.

One of the other things I wonder about this is is challenging Folks sometimes is just to turn towards the unpleasant right now Whatever has happened to us if somebody does cut us off in traffic or something like this It doesn't make it doesn't make it right at the same time.

What what would it be like just to just to pause for a moment and feel how unpleasant that feels in the body instead of Immediately reacting to it.

So with these practices,

Um with mindfulness and anapanasati It's a poly word for mindfulness of it breathing in and out and there's a whole 16 step process I think it's 16 steps,

But we'll go into that now Um,

It's a systematic training with the breath too.

It's very ancient practice or very old practice I should say um,

But uh but being Um turning towards,

Uh,

The unpleasantness and feeling that so with a meditation practice it or it opens up more space to um Have a choice where we see that we we don't have to be immediately reactive a lot of times I know before I started training.

It was just on autopilot to react to something that had happened But with a practice,

Uh meditation practice or breathing practice Yeah,

It gives that moment of wait a second.

I can choose something different here Even if there's just that awareness it can keep choosing the same way we react to something But more and more time opens up to respond instead of react the choice to respond instead of react And a lot of times it just when I pay attention to this It's just because it feels so unpleasant in the body that I just want to um Release it immediately and sometimes that comes through anger or a choice.

That's not the best thing for me If instead I just stick with it a little bit That uh and just feel how unpleasant it is I mean,

It's I don't have to like it but just notice a lot of my actions That way or come out of unpleasantness and not really knowing that it's unpleasantness and knowing how that works So we can override that sometimes especially if it's going to be in the long or long longer term benefit instead of just an immediate relief or reaction that can actually just Make things worse or not get anything better same way with pleasant things when we're seeking pleasant things,

Right?

If we can see that space where oh,

I have a choice here instead of just latching on to um,

Maybe something Again,

And again,

That's seems pleasant in the moment,

But maybe it might not be the best thing long term for me Yeah,

Absolutely.

And and that's what those whether it's one deep breath or three deep breath if we have the time That's where that choice point comes in.

That's what that practice does it buys us a moment so that we can make a choice And and making the choice as you're as you're pointing us.

It doesn't mean that we become a doormat It's like we can choose to access all of our human emotions including anger But the difference is doing it from a place of choice rather than Rather than reacting because it's when we react then inevitably we're gonna regret it We're gonna say or do something that we're gonna then regret Yeah,

So it's it's that presence that moment of presence that allows us that moment of choice um,

And the other thing that I thought was was great that you were talking about is You know what I call spiritual bypassing,

You know,

It's like not wanting not wanting to look at the the unpleasant feelings So,

You know,

I wrote a piece a few years ago called you you you can't namaste the shadow away You know because there's certain aspects of the yoga community the spiritual communities that oh Everything is love and light everything is love and light bless you namaste and and and there's maybe ultimate truth to that But in the day-to-day real life we can't Jump over the negative feelings.

We can't just hope that we're gonna sweep them under the rug and they're gonna go away.

They don't They don't what what used to be spiritual teaching that everything is energy Now we know from quantum physics that it's true.

Everything is energy So even our bodies that feel solid their vibration and we know from from physics that energy can't be destroyed so all those times that we have stuffed our emotions because we were afraid of really saying what we felt and we didn't want to rock the boat too much and You know,

We didn't we didn't want to We hate conflict.

We've been we've been caught in condition to run away from the emotions Because we've labeled them weakness.

And so because of all those reasons we we stuff we try to ignore Those emotions all of them the whole gamut like you're pointing to and that stuff just doesn't go away It only gets worse it festers under the surface and the tissues of our body And after a lifetime of doing that we walk around with layers upon layers upon even more layers Of repressed emotional crap and then here we are trying to have a relationship in the present And all of it is getting filtered through that lifetime of unresolved Emotions unresolved trauma and repressed emotions like yikes I don't I don't know how any relationships actually have a chance of working Because we haven't been taught how to hold them how to approach them And how to how to frame them and we haven't been taught how to clear ourselves of that Cauldron of repressed emotions that we walk around in and with There's so many different ways to bypass And there and avoid There's also just for an example anger It's a double-edged sword too because it can feel really good to let out anger And some people do it at the wrong time,

Right because it repressing it's not the answer but letting it out Is its own challenge too because sometimes it can feel so good to do that that it just keeps Reinforcing that behavior,

Right?

Anger.

Oh that feels good to let that out and I just keep doing that and doing that and then Almost can give more incentive to do so.

So that's why I like meditation practice because Can sit on a cushion and just feel the utmost murderous rage if I have it,

Right?

And it's completely safe to do so because i'm you know by myself or an appropriate setting Where that comes up to be felt and released,

But it's not acted on So it's kind of the best of both worlds.

Um,

One of the things when we um,

I missed was starting off.

I would say to frame your questions.

It's also depends on the person And kind of the context about what's the best way to uh,

Teach and talk about integrating presence So yeah,

It depends who we're talking to our audience.

I think is a big thing in what kind of context,

You know There's some folks that we would just want to talk about street smart spirituality with right some basic practical things that are You know apply no matter kind of what areas we are but then there's there's other practitioners Might need a different approach in this type of thing and it all depends on if it's formal practice or if it comes off the cushion or off these practices into everyday life and And then I think we um might want to mention these.

Um in in embodied.

What did I call it?

Yeah embodied heart-centered awareness so This is the these practices called the brahma viharas There are four flavors of love.

I like the they're specific,

You know,

Because love I can love ice cream I know I say this a lot,

But that's not the love i'm talking about.

This is loving kindness compassion Rejoicing or being happy for other people's happiness altruistic or vicarious joy and equanimity So these are actually there's formal practices for um cultivating these these particular heart qualities and how they and then how they interact and what we Which of these we can bring to almost every situation in life And then it becomes like almost an inbuilt tendency where is this kind of like a new default and can lead from these um these places of the heart and embody these as a heart-centered awareness,

Too,

So That might be for another time The other thing I didn't throw it a lot here before you move on from that.

I would I want to highlight about what you said Sure,

When you talk about qualities like like that loving kindness or that is Like yes,

It's work.

Yes.

It takes practice to get to those places,

But it is so worthwhile because that is the peace of mind That all of us are really ultimately Wanting and desiring,

You know,

And that's what we're all about.

We're all about that That all of us are really ultimately wanting and desiring,

You know,

And that ability to wake up,

You know Wake up in the morning or go to bed at night and look in the mirror and be able to smile and not like dart your eyes away um I mean,

That's that's good for health.

It's good for aging It keeps you keeps us younger that that peace of mind I call it,

You know,

I'm from the tropics I'm from cuba originally and then Raced in miami.

So hurricanes are a real um Visual,

You know for us we've seen them in in the weather maps countless countless times down here And so for me that concept of becoming the eye of the storm So that we can allow all the drama that is inevitably going to happen in the world We can allow people's expectations their demands that what they want from us There are judgments all that stuff to wrote,

You know float around us and we don't have to get sucked into it that's freedom that's personal empowerment and it's It's priceless.

Yeah,

That's equanimity.

That's the creme de la creme,

You know That's the pinnacle of our everyday lives and you know,

Yeah,

There's formal practices for it and a lot of times Um,

Once we kind of clear out what's blocking that these are our natural states,

You know uh being kind to each other,

You know caring about someone else that's in pain and wanting to Do whatever we can to help them that makes sense right in this this joy being happy for other people's Happiness how many billions of people supposedly are on this planet?

Uh,

And so that increases our chances for happiness if I can be happy for them instead of oh,

Why and why am I not?

Happy,

You know,

There's not enough to go around or this type of thing and then equanimity having that that grand parently wisdom and balance knowing that I Cares deeply,

But I can't make someone else's choices for them.

They have to they're responsible for their own actions Yeah,

That's right.

That's right And and and we think you know,

We might think initially that that's selfish But if we think about it if we're like somebody's telling us a story about you know The argument they had with with their partner last night if we go right in it with them as well How could that bitch say that to you without some that bastard?

How could they do that?

Then now we're both rolling around in the muck.

We've lost perspective We've lost really the ability to help them out of that place back into peace and equanimity So it's actually a service to to yes have compassion.

Yes have empathy always And maintain our center even for their sake That's right,

Because because if we just get dragged down the mud then it's just two people now in pain and suffering It's you know doesn't mean yeah,

It's just like using empathy to connect with how it is but then realizing that I do what I can without getting dragged into Down there with them because yeah,

That's not gonna help either one of us.

Yeah,

That's right well,

I just also want to plug my breath course recently that I came out with on insight tiber and i'll Send you a copy too.

It got approved and it's just a progressive breath awareness Course,

And these aren't any particular practices.

These are just questions.

I came up with Perceptions on how viewing the breath and also some practice ideas to consider to for folks to Roll into their other practices or just deepen what they're already doing,

Too yeah,

So yeah,

So,

Um christian,

What would you like to leave the the audience with and also plug anything you'd like What kind of projects do you have on going on?

I think you have a book too.

Um your your coaching sessions and how people can get ahold of you and what you want to draw their attention to Wonderful.

That's very generous and very broad question Um,

So let me let me talk briefly about the book first Yeah,

The my most recent book is called awakening the soul of power.

So like I was saying before Most of us have an ambivalent and I would even say conflicted relationship to power Part of us wants it part of us is afraid of it and I think what we fear is that if we really stepped into all of who we are into our Full-on potential that other people may not be able to handle it And that we might end up rejected alone and no that's no fun Um,

And so I think we also fear that we might abuse it and no wonder How many abuses of power have we witnessed and witnessed on a regular basis?

Um,

And and then we've also on top of that been conditioned to believe that power is a bad thing Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts.

Absolutely who wants to be corrupted?

And so what happens when we add to that mix what we were talking about before about the emotions and running away from the emotions Is that we end up?

Giving our power away Our innate inherent power that nobody can give to us that nobody can take away We give it away and what I find most tragic Is the reasons for which we give it away.

So we we say yes when inside it's really not okay inside It's a no but in order to appease the situation of the other person We override our true feelings our desires even our dreams sometimes And so my zoom cut off with the free version limited to 40 minutes and my new challenge as a host is Informing the guests of how much time left.

So christian you were you were saying about power Yeah,

We're talking about how the reasons that we have a conflicted ambivalent relationship to it And the result of that is that we give it away We override our true feelings and desires and preferences and even dreams In order to not rock the boat too much in order for the we settle for that illusion of acceptance For a false sense of security and we settle for crumbs or morsels of pseudo love So because it's it can't be authentic love if we're not showing up authentically So what this book is about is how to step into power in a different way in a way that is not Hierarchical but it's not about fear or force or domination that doesn't require That I push anybody down step on them in order to feel powerful.

How do we do that in a different way?

I am starting live retreats again and my retreats involve breath work which is one of the areas where you and I connect i'm passionate about And so I do again my themes for my retreats are doing relationships consciously Personal empowerment.

I work specifically with women around women's empowerment coming from my belief that that is the Single most important thing that happens in the world that needs to happen in the world And not to put women up on a pedestal not to idealize women women also abuse power But it's because as a world as a species as humanity,

We've been running so off balance So off kilter between the masculine and the feminine energies So off kilter between the masculine and the feminine energies that course through all of us because they course through all of creation And so i'm also because of the pandemic like many people I had to pivot and create virtual Online programming.

So i've got a year-long coaching program that is incredibly profoundly transformational Where we touch upon all all these things things things that you and I've been talking about Like understanding the mind and how it sabotages us And keeps us from having the kind of lives and relationships that we really dream of having personal empowerment life purpose And so in terms of how to reach me the book is available wherever books are sold So you can order it locally at your local bookstore,

Or you can get it on amazon or some of those other online websites In terms of reaching me probably my the best way is my website soulfulpower.

Com soulfulpower.

Com soulfulpower.

Com From there they can access my my social media Very good.

All right,

Christian.

Thanks for joining me And it was a pleasure chatting with you and may you all be blessed with the most optimal and ideal presence and embodied heart-centered consciousness