Healing Journey Addiction Recovery, Withdrawal, Binaurals

If you are in a moment of struggle, this healing journey is for you. This is a clearing, loving journey where you are guided into a relaxation of your being and unblending from the mental programming of addiction. Together, we go within to resource your energy with the light and to discover the roots of your needs that are confused with an outside substance or experience. Addiction can be an attachment to a substance, person, experience, or behavior; however, it is truly your inner child calling out to you for holding, safety, and protection. I have supported many people into full recovery, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Even if this moment feels so painful, unending, and powerless - this will pass, and something even more true, more whole, and more free will emerge. You are more powerful than the programs of the mind, and liberation is here. Come back to this meditation whenever you need a loving voice to remind you who you truly are.

Transcript

Hello,

Dear one.

This meditation and healing journey is aimed for the moment when your addictions or attachments are feeling so overwhelming.

This journey is for the moment when a part of you is calling for a deeper presence and deeper awareness.

Come back whenever you need to to this meditation.

Instead of turning towards your addiction,

Turn towards this meditation.

Turn towards your inner world where you can discover freedom from these patterns and expansion even more than you can even imagine right now.

So I invite you to find a comfortable space,

Whether that be laying down somewhere soft or sitting in a comfortable position.

And I invite you to feel the earth underneath you.

And to bring your awareness to the precise place where your skin meets your clothes and your clothes meet the earth.

And for this moment with your awareness,

Just come into contact with this place where you meet earth.

And notice what happens to your breathing when you feel the support of earth under your body.

And I invite you to locate the felt sense of that support inside your body.

And this is how your body tells you it feels support.

It might be that you notice a steadiness or softness or sense of peace somewhere in your body.

And for the next few breaths,

Just see if it's possible to sink even deeper into that sensation,

The felt sense of support and your connection to earth.

And we'll take three deep breaths into the belly and up into the chest.

And on the exhale,

Just letting the breath fall.

And another deep breath into the belly and up into the chest.

And then letting the breath fall.

And one more deep breath into the belly and up all the way to the top.

And then just letting the breath fall.

And just feel yourself relaxing and sinking into the self.

And on this healing journey,

Different parts of you might come up.

You might experience the polarities of different energies.

However you are,

You are welcome.

Whatever you experience is an experience and you are.

You are the I am,

The observer and the witness.

And we'll begin by just scanning your body from head to toe.

And as you scan your body,

See through the gaze of the inner wise one who meets the experience of the body with kindness and acceptance.

And just notice loosely what's here in the body,

Saying,

I see you.

I'm here.

And addiction is an attachment and confusion of the identity with something outside the self.

Something external,

A substance or an experience.

You are loved and you are safe in this moment.

And you are not alone.

When the urges come up,

It's like parts of us are seeking a remedy for the pain of this moment.

Because these parts of us are scared that we don't have the capacity to be with the pain of the moment.

Yet,

The confusion that these parts of us have with the pain is a fear to go into the pain.

Like a fear of the pain.

But when we actually do lean into what's here in the moment without an attachment of it being good or bad,

This is when we can meet ourselves and meet life and meet this moment exactly as it is.

Without bliss or suffering.

Just pure,

Steady presence and awareness.

And presence doesn't pretend that it needs.

This addiction,

Presence doesn't wear a mask of coping means or distractions.

Presence simply is.

And I invite you to feel a soft wave of kindness and acceptance.

A wave of golden energy.

Like golden water full of light moving up through your legs.

And as this light meets your legs,

Your shins,

Your feet,

Moving up to your knees and your thighs.

Every cell in your body can release into this light.

Can just soften and let go.

And this light says,

I'm here.

I can hold you.

I can keep you safe.

And remind you that you are loved.

And I invite you to feel this light moving up to wash over your hips and your pelvic area.

Moving up into your belly.

And you can take a deep breath right here to just relax and soften even more into this light.

These waters that caress your skin and your energy with the most loving,

The most accepting,

The most nourishing touch.

And taking a breath,

You can feel this light steadily rising up to your solar plexus.

Washing away any insecurities,

Any self-doubt.

And feel this water into your back as well.

So that your back might soften.

It might let go of any tension.

And you can feel that the water just holds and accepts and loves whatever part of you that it meets.

And feel now that this golden light water rises up around your heart in like very gentle waves.

It just caresses your heart.

So that any pains in your heart can just totally feel the love and the light of this golden water.

And this water now moves up around your throat and your neck.

Totally safe to let go into.

And feel this water moving up around your jaw.

Softening your jaw and your cheeks and your head.

And you can feel it moving up around your eyes and your forehead and your crown.

So that all of you is now totally encompassed and cocooned and held by this golden flowing light.

All of you is accepted here.

All of you is met here.

All of you is loved here.

And I invite you to turn your attention inwards and to find the part of you that wants this addiction right now.

That wants the substance or person or experience outside of yourself.

And holding a very loose gaze,

Just find in your body where this urge is coming from.

And see if it's possible that through your gaze this light golden water is illuminating.

So that it's not a judgment of this part,

But that same energy of peace and acceptance which shines through your eyes at this younger part inside.

Who through the experience of addiction is seeking a remedy,

Is seeking a feeling.

And addiction might not even have to do with the substance or the present moment.

It might actually have to do with a part of you that is in a deep need for release,

For peace,

To be seen,

To be loved.

So when this program loop comes up,

I need that now.

The first thing that we're going to do is to notice my mind is saying,

I need that now.

And in the noticing you unblend from this part of your mind that is running on the program.

Because when we're blended with that part of the mind,

It's like we think that's our identity.

I am this need.

It's inescapable.

Because it's consuming.

But that's not true.

There's a part of your mind that believes it needs this.

And you are not that part of the mind.

Now take a breath and find the witness of that part.

The one who says,

I see you.

Mind.

Maybe it's actually kind of interesting.

Oh,

There's this part of my mind that believes it needs this experience.

And if you start to become consumed by that program again,

All you need to do is unblend and witness it.

And then its power will begin to diminish.

And begin to see where in your body sensation is emerging.

Maybe you feel this in your head.

Maybe part of your body like your stomach or your liver or your hands are tensing.

And with a soft gaze,

We can just notice where the sensation is living in your body.

Where the energy of this belief,

The part of you holding this belief,

Lives in your body.

And it's safe to notice this.

It's safe to bring this awareness from the gaze of the witness,

From the gaze of that golden flowing light.

And when you find that sensation in your body,

Is it possible to be with that part for three deep breaths.

And on the first breath,

We can let this part know,

I see you.

And on the second breath,

We can let this part know,

I feel you.

And on the third breath,

We can let this part know,

I'm here.

I'm here now.

And with each breath,

It's safe to lean into this energy from the perspective of that golden light.

And if it ever feels intense or too much,

Just take a step back and find that golden light again.

And see as you lean in if it's possible to notice that your gaze is this golden flowing light.

And also that the ground of this sensation,

This experience,

Is that same light.

In this light,

It flows through everything and nothing.

This urge,

This part is like a particle,

The contraction of matter in your energetic field.

And particle is actually almost entirely luminous emptiness.

Particle is 99.

999% luminous emptiness,

This energetic field.

So instead of placing your attention on the 0.

00001%,

Which you experience as addiction,

Is it possible to place your awareness on the ground of your being,

The luminosity that flows between every particle,

Within every particle.

Because it's in this empty space that we can find our power and remember our power,

Our sovereignty as beings.

The emptiness isn't pure nothingness.

It's no thing,

No time,

No space.

The field is pure potentiality.

So instead of selecting the experience of attachment to this identity of addiction,

I just invite you to see if it's possible to move through the sensation,

To lean into the sensation of the urge,

While seeing yourself as the ground,

The foundation.

Just this experience with the light that flows within and between all matter.

You could never be alone.

You could never be betrayed or abandoned.

You could never be shame or guilt or humiliation.

Because you're simply light.

You are simply self,

You.

And the addiction is an experience of life,

Of the world.

It's of the world.

And you are not of the world.

Your essence is not of this world.

When we reject the part of ourself that feels the urge and the symptom of wanting a remedy for the pain,

It's in the rejection that the addiction actually grows stronger.

So I invite you to see if it's possible to let this part of you know.

You belong with me.

I know you feel so unsafe right now.

I'm here with you.

And take a breath.

And see if it's possible to get even closer to this part.

And to notice who you see there.

How old is this part of you?

What are they doing?

Are they crying?

Are they hiding?

Are they angry?

Are they scared?

Just see what the experience of this part of you is in this moment.

And with a kind gaze,

Can you extend your love to wrap around them?

And let them know I'm here,

You're safe.

I know you want to follow this pattern.

I know you think that you'll receive a moment of release if we follow this pattern.

But it's not true,

It's not lasting.

What's lasting is my presence.

What's lasting is truth.

And we can only discover that if we look into this together.

So we know the want is this experience of the addiction.

And I invite you to ask,

What do you need to this part of you?

What do you need?

And however they respond,

Can you take a breath and embrace that response?

We don't have to follow it,

We can just notice,

Okay,

This part of me wants this substance.

This part of me needs this experience,

Whatever that might be.

And now can you ask this part of you,

This inner giant,

How do you think you'll feel if you receive this need?

What is the feeling you're truly seeking?

Maybe it's grounding,

Maybe it's escape.

And go for the feeling.

If I'm grounded,

What emotion am I feeling?

Peace,

Presence.

If I'm trying to escape the pain,

What am I seeking?

I'm seeking liberation,

Freedom.

And then if I was feeling this freedom,

What would my emotional experience be?

And whatever answer you receive,

Take a breath in,

Just fully embracing that this part of you has this belief.

It has this need and want and desire at the root to feel a certain way.

And instead of following the program and loop of the addiction,

I invite you to breathe into the emotional experience.

That this part of you is truly deeply seeking.

Whether that be peace,

Or love,

Or acceptance,

Or freedom,

Or wholeness,

Or something else.

However it is for you,

It's beautiful and it's a pure desire,

A worthy desire.

Take a deep breath in to your body and allow the golden nectar of this emotional experience to flow down into you.

To illuminate from the ground of your being.

And to fully encompass you and feel this part that is seeking outside of yourself.

Feel that part turning towards you in this present moment.

Turning towards the energy that it so truly needs.

So that it can be nourished by you.

You alone hold its salvation.

You alone hold its liberation.

It might feel hard,

It might feel easy to generate this experience,

But we don't have to stay attached to even that.

Just come back to the energetic experience of that feeling.

The peace,

The love,

The acceptance,

The wholeness,

Whatever it is for you.

And let yourself rest in this energy.

You are so loved.

I know it might hurt right now.

It might feel so hard.

But each moment that you give yourself up to this energy,

More grace can flow through you.

More mastery of your mind,

Of your will can move through you.

And you can reclaim your life.

And even this part is just frequency,

This urge,

It's just frequency,

Energy.

Can you hand this energy over to the grace flowing through you?

Can you hand this frequency of the addiction over to a higher power?

Who will not leave you in your moment of need.

This higher power can hold the urge with you,

Can take this urge from you.

If you only surrender it,

If you release it and let it go into the grace,

Into the freedom.

Into the divine love that is here.

See only you can make the decision to do this.

And only you can do this.

By expanding into the love you are.

And allow this love to wash and cleanse any of those constrictions and shadows and schisms.

The dissociations,

The confusions,

The resentments,

The shames.

As you simply rest in the ground of your being,

The ground of the golden light,

The ground of the love that you are.

With each breath just giving up even more into grace.

And I invite you to place a hand on your heart and a hand on your belly.

To communicate with your body and your energy.

I'm here.

I will not leave you alone.

I will not abandon you.

I forgive myself.

I release myself from the chains of the past.

With pure compassion and forgiveness and grace.

I embrace all that I am and all that I am is worthy of love.

This moment is necessary to shape me into who I am.

To help me remember why I am here in this life.

When I soften into this moment.

When I allow what's here to be here.

It is then that I can remember and simply be who I am.

I can be present.

I can remember my consciousness.

Take a deep breath all the way from your toes up to the top of your head,

Your crown.

Letting the breath go with a sigh on the exhale.

Thank you for spending these 45 minutes together.

I'm in deep adoration of your path.

Come back to this meditation whenever you need these reminders.

You are so loved and you are not alone in this path.

No matter what your mind tells you,

Freedom is possible.